PK Whoops...

A PeachxZelda YURI GIFTFIC Oneshot for Midnight
WARNINGS OF YURI (duh) and crack beyond belief!


Lucas hated being sick. He hated colds and the constant sneezing. He hated the flu and the nausea that came with it. And he really hated when he and Claus had the chicken pox when they were five.

But what he really hated...and this was something he discovered only recently...was that his psychic powers went out of control and did things he later regretted. Which is why he begged Master Hand to keep him in today, instead of forcing him to battle. Master Hand, of course, showed no pity and explained to Lucas he couldn't change the match. There were no other available fighters ready. Lucas protested he was ill and his psychic powers were not controllable because of that, but Master Hand informed him that to be a Smasher, you have to fight, no matter what happens to you or your body. Lucas left the office, sneezing and feeling terrible.

Something bad was going to happen.

Lucas checked his fighting restrictions today. No items, Hyrule Temple and his opponents were Peach, Link and Ike. Great. A powerhouse, a diverse fighter and Peach, who was formidable in her own ways. Like using her butt to attack. The small psychic shuddered at the thought. Maybe she could use that butt against Ike or Link. They sure liked it.

Sighing and sneezing, Lucas went to get ready for his match.


Several minutes, painkillers, cold pills and tissues later, Lucas was standing on the dirt ground of Hyrule Temple. His cold had not gone away, even though Dr. Mario had provided him with his remedies. Hopefully no one got too badly hurt with his attacks. That's all he was worried about.

The countdown began and as soon as Lucas heard "GO!" he dashed. He dared to blow a PK Fire at Ike and it ended up being a raging inferno that nearly burned him up. If it weren't for his counter attack, Ike might have turned into Tellius Fried Mercenary.

"Lucas, turn your powers down or something!" the mercenary shouted.

"S-sorry!! I have a cold!" Lucas yelped back before getting hit by an arrow from Link. The little psychic boy turned around and fired a PK Freeze at the hero. Link yelped when he saw that the PK Freeze was not it's usual snowflake shape, but rather a huge iceblock. He brought his sword up and slashed it in half.

"Should you even be fighting??" he asked. Lucas shook his head and sneezed.

"When I get sick, my psychic powers go out of control! But Master Hand wouldn't let me out of the fight!"

"No kidding..." Ike commented. "You could really hurt someone with the way you are right now, kid."

Lucas sneezed again and it released a beam of light from his chest. To his horror, he realized it was PK Love, one of his strongest attacks on the field. He prayed to the Magypsies it wasn't going to hit anyone.

Fate likes to laugh at poor little Lucas, though.

On a platform above him was the princess Peach herself. He heard her scream and flinched. Ike and Link both winced and looked a very arousing sight.

On the Temple roof, Peach was seductively making kissy noises at the crowd and doing a strip tease. She was already barefoot and doing little peek a boos with her skirt. Her dress was being unzipped from her back and falling loosely around her heavy bosom.

"Zelliecaaaaaaaaake...this is for you!!" Peach yelled out, her eyes hot with lust and love.




Peach was hot for ZELDA?

Both Ike and Link got a nosebleed and Lucas, traumatized by what he caused, ran off the stage and lost a stock. Peach was left in her undergarments and shaking everything she had on her. The crowd was hooting and whistling, including most of the male smashers.

The only one not enjoying the strip tease was Pit, who had a crush on both the princesses. The angel was so shaken, he actually burst into tears and flew out of the stadium.

And Zelda herself? The Hylian Princess was so aroused by her secret girlfriend's strip tease, a spot actually began to dampen the front of her dress. Drool dotted her lips and blood trickled down from her nose.

"Uh, Zelda?" Ganondorf poked the princess.

"I'm having a piece of that Peachiepie tonight!"


Later, very obvious sexual sounds could be heard from Peach's room. Among those sounds were nosebleeding, moaning male smashers, such as Link, Ike, Falco, Wolf, Ganondorf, Bowser, Snake (who was later dragged away by Samus) and Red, who were all peeking through Peach's door two at a time.

And Master Hand was in his office, declining offers from porno companies to star Peach in one of their films. WHILE scolding Lucas for manipulating Peach to preform unspeakable acts.

Having enough of being told off for something that wasn't completely his fault, Lucas sneezed all over Master Hand's desk and got bits of a PK Freeze on the papers. He walked away whistling as the phone rang again.



I love crack. XD And although I'm not fond of yuri or yaoi much, I'm really warm on the Peach/Zelda pairing. It's probably because Zelda is my all time favourite princess, or the fact that they just look so awesome next to each other. They make a funny crack pairing. XD

Again, I've picked on poor Lucas. SORRY, LUCAS. D: I LOVE YOU, REALLY.

This is a birthday present! For Midnight Crystal Sage! ;D As you can see, she requested yuri, so yuri she gets. Of course I had to make it cracky like I did to Shut Up and boy was it fun. Peachiepie and Zelliecake is also our nicknames for the princesses...PeachiepiexZelliecake equals to the SWEETEST treat a yuri lover can have!

There's also a bit of a reference here. You see, the Mother/Earthbound creator (apparently) had the idea of the games because he walked into a theater that was playing an M rated film as a child. He witnessed a woman onscreen getting sexually pleasured and screaming and it pretty much scarred him. So apparently Gigyas was born because of a woman screaming. O_o Poor Lucas AND Ness.

Reviews are loved.

And happy 18, Midnight.

-Moonlit Assassin