Title: Three Can Be A Crowd, But Sometimes It's Just Company
Author: Sapphire Smoke
Length: 3,135 words
Summary: Parker likes Maggie, but Sophie's acting weird.
A/N: This is complete and utter fluff, I warn you ALL. This is completely like nothing I have ever done before, most of my fic is NC-17 and full of angst, but the fluffy comedy bunny bit me on the ass. DolfynRider on here asked for Parker/Maggie/Sophie, and this was the result, though I'm sure she would have preferred something a bit more... adult. Haha. But I find I can't really write adult scenes from Parker's POV, don't ask me why.
There's just some things that Parker can't ask anyone else but Sophie. It's not like her and Sophie are best friends, but she's a girl, and more importantly she's a girl that knows girly things like what she's about to ask her. She would rather ask Hardison, but the last time she asked him about douches and if he thought that they are really necessary, he choked on his food and told her that from now on all her girl questions should go to Sophie, because she's a girl.
So that's why she was in Sophie's office right now, because she's a girl. A girl that knows girly things.
"I have a question," Parker tells her.
"Okay," Sophie responds, looking up from her purse. She was rummaging in there a minute ago, Parker doesn't understand why she has such a big purse, if she had a smaller one it would be easier to find things.
"I want to have sex with someone."
Sophie blinks, her purse forgotten now. It falls to the ground with a thump, but Sophie doesn't move to pick it up, she's just staring at her. "That wasn't a question." A pause, "Is this about Hardison?"
Parker crinkles her nose, confused. "No, why would it be about him?"
"Well I just thought…" Sophie starts, but stops, apparently not wanting to explain. Parker just stares at her expectantly, she wants to know how she can go about doing that, she doesn't usually let people know she wants to have sex with them. It's usually the other way around. "Who?" Sophie finally asks.
"Maggie. She smells nice," Parker tells her, and smiles. Sophie coughed, putting her hand over her chest. "Are you okay?" Parker asks her, worried. Sophie waves her hand at her, maybe telling her she's okay, or maybe telling her to leave. Parker wasn't entirely sure on the matter.
"Nate," Sophie finally gets out between coughs, and Parker doesn't understand why she's talking about Nate. She said Maggie, not him. "… he's going to kill you."
"Why? They aren't married anymore," Parker responds, confused. If they aren't married, then she's not his.
"Parker…" Sophie starts finally after she's finished coughing and looking like her brain is going to explode. "You… Maggie, really?"
"You don't think she smells nice?" Parker asks her.
"What? I… I haven't smelt her, Parker. I don't know," Sophie responds, flustered a little. Parker sighs, this isn't getting her anywhere. She probably should have asked Eliot.
"Do you not like her?" Parker asks, tilting her head a bit in curiosity. Sophie was good with people, if Sophie didn't like her; maybe something was wrong with her.
"No, I mean… she's just… Nate, you know? It's… complicated," Sophie replies. Parker's even more confused.
"Why do we keep talking about Nate?"
"Parker," Sophie says with a heavy sigh, like she does when Parker should understand something but just doesn't. Parker doesn't like that sigh; it makes her feel bad for not getting something. "Sit down."
"I like standing."
"Sit," Sophie stresses.
"Now listen to me, okay?" Parker nods, and Sophie goes on. "Nate… he still likes Maggie, a lot." Parker notices Sophie doesn't sound happy with that. She sounds like she doesn't like Maggie because of it, so Parker asks a question.
"So it's not okay if I care what Nate thinks, but I don't, so it's okay?"
Sophie sighs again. Parker doesn't like that sigh. She wants to go talk to Eliot, he probably would have just asked her to take pictures. But she's not that good with a camera, so maybe she shouldn't ask him.
"I don't think you should," Sophie tells her. But Parker doesn't like that answer.
"I don't like that answer," Parker tells her and gets up, but Sophie says sit again in that British I-mean-business tone that she has, and Parker sits like she's a puppet on some strings. She doesn't get why Sophie can make her do things.
Maybe it's cause she sometimes wants to have sex with Sophie. Maybe Sophie doesn't want her to have sex with Maggie because she wants to have sex with her.
"Do you want to have sex with me?" Parker asks her. Sophie turns bright red and gapes at her.
"Parker! Where did that even—? God, you know what? Nevermind. You can plan your own funeral, I was just trying to help," Sophie tells her, stuttering and looking cross with her that Parker had made her that way.
Parker doesn't like Sophie's tone, so she leaves. Sophie's being a bitch.
* * * * *
She tries Eliot next. She figures she can learn how to use a camera properly if she needs to.
"I want to have sex with Maggie."
Eliot doesn't even blink at her, just keeps cooking. "Then do it, just don't let Nate find out."
This is why Parker likes Eliot, he's simple. "Sophie's being mean about it," she tells him. "I don't think she likes Maggie."
"It's because she got to fuck Nate and Sophie hasn't yet," Eliot tells her. Parker understands now.
"Oh, I thought it was because she wanted to have sex with me." Eliot laughs, Parker narrows her eyes. That wasn't supposed to be funny.
"Sophie doesn't want to have sex with you, Parker."
Parker doesn't like that, so she tells him. "I'm not going to take pictures for you anymore."
Eliot blinks, and turns away from his food. "I never asked you to."
"Well, I knew you would want some, so I was going to. But not anymore." And then she leaves, giving up on everyone. She can just ask Maggie to have sex with herself, how hard can it be?
* * * * *
"Hi, Maggie?" Parker asks through the phone, hoping she stole the right number out of Eliot's phone. She hid it somewhere after that, just because he told her Sophie didn't want to have sex with her. That hurt her for some reason.
"This is her, may I ask who's calling?" Comes the really pretty voice on the other end of the phone. Parker smiles.
"Oh," Maggie responds, she sounds surprised. "Hi, I wasn't expecting it to be you. Is everything alright with… everything?"
Parker knows she means Nate, she doesn't like that. Everything always has to be about Nate, like he was the center of the universe or something. But Nate isn't in the center of anything except when it involves a bunch of empty liquor bottles all over the floor.
"Yeah, I just wanted to let you know that you have really pretty hair, it's soft. And you smell good. You're pretty, so I wanted to know if you think I'm pretty too and if I maybe smell nice too," Parker tells her. She decided to not go right into sex, Sophie always told her not to rush things in conversation. Spitting things out sometimes makes people feel weird, that's what she says. But Sophie's being mean, so Parker doesn't even know why she's listening to her.
Sophie knows though, that's probably why.
Maggie's silent for a minute, but then laughs a little bit. But it's not like the kind of laugh Eliot did at her, it was softer. "Parker, maybe the phone isn't the best place to talk about this. I get off of work at five, would you like to meet me for coffee?"
"I don't like coffee," Parker tells her, because she doesn't.
Maggie's amused with her, but isn't making fun of her, so when she giggles again Parker doesn't really mind. "Alright, well do you drink?"
"I like fruity alcohol," Parker tells her… because she does.
"Well I'll buy you one then. I'll text you directions to the place, okay?"
"Okay," Parker says, and smiles. When they say goodbye Parker feels good, because she thinks Maggie might like her a little bit.
She wants to shove that in Sophie's face, but can't find her so she doesn't.
* * * * *
"Where are you going?" Hardison asks her as she goes to leave the office.
"I'm meeting Maggie for a fruity drink," Parker tells him as she grabs her coat. Hardison's eyes go wide.
Parker narrows her eyes and replies, "No, nobody's Maggie. Not yet, anyway."
And then she's gone, leaving Hardison confused and shocked.
* * * * *
"Have you ever been here?" Maggie asks her as she hands her the drink she had bought for her, which was nice of her because Parker didn't like spending money.
Parker shakes her head, "No. I only go out to steal things. Sometimes to eat, but I like it when they come to my door better."
Maggie smiles at her, and Parker likes that she can make Maggie smile. "You know, I haven't really done anything like this since right after college, before Nate."
"Drink?" Parker asks, confused. Though she kind of gets it. Nate could ruin drinking for everyone.
"No," Maggie says and laughs a little. She puts her hand on top of Parker's that's on the counter, and Parker get's all these warm tingly feelings inside. "I mean be with a woman."
"So you think I smell nice then?" Parker asks her.
Maggie smiles again, amused. Parker kind of likes she can amuse her, even though she doesn't know how she's doing it. "I think you're a very interesting woman, Parker… and very beautiful," she tells her.
Parker blushed. She didn't even know she could do that.
* * * * *
"Me and Maggie went on a date," she tells Sophie the next day. She didn't have sex with her, but Parker was okay with that. Maggie told her that taking it slow is better. Parker wasn't sure how it could be better when it put off getting her naked, but she likes Maggie so she agreed with her.
Sophie looks surprised. "Really? I mean, you actually… she said yes?"
Parker doesn't like how surprised Sophie is, and she thinks she's being mean again. "Don't be jealous," she tells her.
"I'm not jealous," Sophie tells her, and makes this over dramatic scoff to further prove her point, but Parker still thinks she's jealous.
"You're jealous because she had sex with Nate and you can't, and she can have sex with me and you can't do that either." A pause. "At least that's what Eliot said, the first part. The second I just know."
"I don't want to have sex with you, Parker! Besides, I can't? You're the one who acts like you want to have sex with me, so I believe it's you who can't," Sophie says, defensive. Arms crossed over chest, narrow eyes. Sophie used to be much more pleasant than this, that's why Parker thinks it's jealousy.
"I do want to have sex with you," Parker tells her, and Sophie's eyes go wide, not expecting that. "But I'm dating Maggie, so you can't have sex with me."
She leaves then, but hears Sophie yelling at Eliot later about how he doesn't know anything about anything.
* * * * *
"I take it back," Eliot tells her later. Parker looks up from her phone, Maggie was texting her.
"Take what back? I'm not missing anything," Parker says, and double-checks herself to see if he had in fact lifted something from her, but he didn't.
"Sophie wants to have sex with you," Eliot tells her, ignoring the fact that Parker was searching for missing belongings that didn't exist.
Parker looks up, "I know. How do you know?"
"Because she kept talking about how 'absurd' it is and how it's absolutely 'mad' to think that she would ever 'fancy' you… she got really British."
"Sophie is British," Parker tells him, not understanding.
"Not that British, usually," he says, before leaving. Parker still doesn't understand what he's talking about, so she goes back to texting Maggie.
* * * * *
"Sophie wants to have sex with me," she tells Maggie while they are sitting in Maggie's bed, naked. Parker had finally convinced her sex would be a fun recreational activity.
"Nate's Sophie?" Maggie asks.
Parker doesn't get why people think Nate has everybody. Nate has nobody. "Nate doesn't have anybody. Nate has alcohol," she tells her.
"Oh, well I assumed by the way they acted around each other…" Maggie started, but then just shrugged, and put her arm around Parker. Parker snuggled into her. "She's very beautiful, Sophie, I mean."
"I think so too," Parker tells her. "But she's been mean lately. She doesn't like that you had sex with Nate, that you're having sex with me."
"Did she tell you that?" Maggie asks her.
"Eliot said so."
Maggie lets out another amused laugh. "And Eliot's always right?"
"I think so."
Maggie smiles, "Maybe he is."
* * * * *
Parker doesn't like the tone in Nate's voice, so she darts off in the other direction, but not quick enough, he sees her just as she tries to climb into the air duct, and grabs her foot to stop her.
"We need to talk about something," he tells her.
"I'm busy right now," Parker tells him, half in the air vent, half dangling out of it. She was busy; she was busy trying to get away from him.
"Parker." He says it in that tone that dads always use when you're in trouble, kind of like how Sophie uses the mom tone sometimes. She doesn't care for either of them. "What are you doing to Maggie?"
"Nothing," Parker says, and her voice kind of echoes from being inside of the vent. "Drinks, dinner, sometimes there's sex. Why?"
Nate lets go of her foot, probably out of shock, and Parker takes that as her cue to leave.
* * * * *
"Did you take pictures?" Eliot asks her one night.
"I told you I wasn't going to, you were being mean," Parker says and sticks her fingers in his soup pot to taste it. She gets her hand slapped for that one.
"Yeah, but then I agreed with you."
Parker steals another taste before skipping away, "I'll ask Maggie."
* * * * *
When she goes into Sophie's office because Sophie texted her, asking her to, she's surprised to see Maggie there. "What's going on?" she asks, confused. Sophie doesn't like Maggie.
"Tell your girlfriend I don't want to have sex with you," Sophie requests.
"But you do."
"No I—! God, what is it with you?" Sophie's annoyed again.
"I wasn't asking because I was jealous," Maggie clarifies. In fact, if Parker didn't know any better, she was looking at Sophie the way she looks at Parker.
Parker suddenly likes Maggie a whole lot more.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Sophie asks, and shifts a bit. Uncomfortable, Parker imagines.
But Parker's looking at her that way too, she can't help it. Maggie started it.
"Would you like to come out with me and Parker tonight?" Maggie asks her casually. Sophie blinks at her, knowing what's happening but apparently not finding it real.
"I actually have to get home tonight," Sophie says, shifting her eyes a bit to look at the floor. "I have to practice my French."
"You're fluent in French," Parker says.
"Apparently not fluent enough anymore."
* * * * *
"Why do you think she's scared to have sex with us?" Parker asks Maggie as they sit on her couch and Maggie shows her how to put a ring tone on her cell phone, because Parker never knew how.
"Nate," Maggie tells her before saying, "There money's on it, now what song do you want?"
"Money, sung by lizards or something" Parker tells her, then frowns. "Why is Nate the center of everything?"
Maggie smiles at her and pets her hair a bit, just like Parker did when she told her she was adorable. "Oh sweetie, he's not. He just thinks he is, and it confuses people."
"Oh," Parker said, kind of understanding but still not really. "Did you find the song?"
"I can't find anything by a band called Lizard," Maggie tells her, looking through her phone.
"I think they fly," Parker says, Maggie laughs, finally knowing who she's talking about.
* * * * *
They decide that if Sophie won't come to them, they'll go to her. Parker feels like they're following a mark, and when she asks Maggie if they're stalking, she tells her no, that they're just happening to end up in the same place she does.
Parker's still sure they're stalking her though. Maybe Sophie won't mind.
"Are you two bloody following me now?" Sophie asks as they 'casually' run into her in the café she stopped into.
"Of course not, we were just going to get some coffee, right Parker?" Maggie says.
"I don't like coffee," Parker replies, the adds, "Maggie said it wasn't stalking."
Maggie puts her hand over her face; Parker thinks she probably shouldn't have said that. Subtly, that's what Sophie always says.
"Look, I'm just not… I mean this is mad," Sophie says to them, looking at them both like they're crazy.
Parker's used to that look though, so it doesn't phase her.
"Eliot says you get really British when you want to have sex with me," Parker tells her, Maggie tries not to laugh, but it sneaks out behind her hand.
"Eliot's a bloody wanker!" Sophie curses and gets her coffee, throwing some change on the counter before walking out of the coffee shop. Parker and Maggie exchange looks and follow.
"Look, Sophie," Maggie says, stopping her gently by putting her hand on her arm. Parker stays quiet, she's sure Maggie is better at this than her. "We're not asking for anything, we just both find you very beautiful. If you're not interested, all you have to do is tell us."
Sophie sighs and chews on her bottom lip before turning to face them both. "It's not that I…" she sighs again. "It's complicated, you know? I didn't think I…" she shoots a look at Parker, but doesn't finish. "And now with you, and Nate, it's just… complicated. This is very unorthodox."
"You're confused," Parker tells her. "Nate isn't the center of the world, he just makes everyone think he is, so it's okay."
Sophie let out a little amused laugh at that statement, then smiled a bit. Parker liked seeing Sophie smile, just like she liked seeing Maggie smile. Finally she said, "I guess it couldn't hurt to just… have a little chat, yeah?"
Maggie smiled this time, so did Parker, and as they all left to go have a 'chat' that Parker hoped would turn into better recreational activities, she turned to Sophie and asked, "Do you want to hear my new ring tone?"