DISCALIMER: I don't own ttwilight. Stephenie Meyer does

*sad face* I will eventually have my name in the books! I do. But that's just my name tag :) I WILL RULE THE WORLD OF TWILIGHT ONEEE DAY…hopefully in the near future :)

I know I haven't updated in EXACTLY A MONTH! But please still read :)

Last Chapter :(

Thanks to all my supporters! And who reviewed!

"Umm, I was wondering what the noise was," Mr Banner said. Emmett glared at him.

"Nice to know," He then shut the door in Mr Banner's face and locked it. Mr Banner started banging on the door. Emmett walked over to the stereo and put in a new CD Las Ketchup started playing. Emmett started dancing to it. Rosalie walked up to Emmett, he then turned down the music down,

"Guys GREAT NEWS. I realised the mirror, wasn't a mirror, but a picture of the demented lady who works in Burger King!" She said pleased with herself. She really was Sherlock Holmes! I thought sarcastically. Mr Banner stormed in, breaking the door.


We all looked nervously around. I couldn't help laughing at the fact Mr Banner was married to the weird lady at Burger King.

I can't believe Mr Banner found someone UGLIER than him! At least he doesn't feel like the unbalanced one in the marriage Emmett

No wonder he looks like crap every morning, I should give his wife some tips on beauty Rosalie

Now I have seen everything, a bit too much if you ask me I mean she could of worn a more covering top in the picture! Whereas Bella… Mike

Mike said trailing off I stared at him I 'accidently' threw a heavy book at him.

"OWW what was that for?!" Mike said surprised.

"For being a dick," I replied simply. Mike growled at me, but sounded more like a strangled scream

And THAT is why Mike is not a vampire Emmett

"Sorry to interrupt this interesting conversation but can we get back on subject?" Mr Banner said impatiently jumping up and down.

"Come again?" Bella said.

"My wife? And can we keep it quick because my little mate down there needs to release it." He said.

Is that the posh way of saying he needs to piss? Emmett

"I recall you starting this conversation and we can take however long we like!" Emmett said. Mr Banner immediately stopped talking.

"Umm, you can take your time." Mr Banner said calmly. Emmett nodded.

"I should think sooo!" Rosalie said.


"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! PLEASE CAN WE GET BACK TO IT!" Mr Banner shouted. Emmett glared at him. "Don't give me that look! Just because you have massive arms, a buff body, great strength, weird eyes, luscious lips…." He said trailing off.

"The point Mr Spanner?" Rosalie asked. Emmett put his arm in front of Rosalie..

"Let him finish," Emmett said.

"Emmett, get over it you have a average body and well…although he looks it he aint that great in bed," Rosalie said whispering the last bit. Emmett gasped.

Oh well then I can forget about luring him into my house then Mr Banner

I winced. Yuck, he is working his way through the family!

"But Rosieee, you said I was good!" Emmett whined.

"Well, I have to say that didn't I?" Rosalie said. "I mean I don't want you whining, I have to live with you for a eternity!" Rosalie pointed out. Mr Banner and Mike looked at Rosalie strange.

"An eternity?" Mike questioned.

Aww man I forgot Rosalie

"Well you know how stupid I am, a day seems like a eternity with me…" Emmett cleverly said. Emmett then slapped his forehead. "Ow," He said to make what he said believable. Mike nodded.

"You have slept with someone Emmett? High Five!" Mike shouted, putting his hand in the air. Emmett just stared at him. "Gunna leave me hanging?" Mike said. Emmett nodded.

"That is exactly what I am going to do," Emmett said. "You slept with Jessica Mike," Emmett pointed out. Mike looked down.

"Well um you see when I said that. I was telling a little lie…We umm didn't she just beat me up" Mike admitted.

"I knew it! So the bruises weren't from her grip…but from a punch by a girl," Jasper said laughing.

"What is said in here must be kept in here," Mike said. Alice looked up and smiled.

"Wellll, them rules apply for sleepovers, and I don't see any sleeping bags soooo," She started skipping out the room.


"Yeah it's after school hours, no one is in, apart from the janitor but he is deaf so THAT wouldn't work." Alice said returning to Jasper's arms.

"So hellooooo, can we get back on track about my wife?" Mr Banner said, I swear he shivered.

"Ohhh well we were saying how beautiful she is, and to appreciate that we were saying negative things so we felt good about our appearences," Emmett said. Mr Banner looked at us.

"Guys, do you think I don't know how ugly she is? Why do you think I have my bit on the side, you know Felulah? Do you kno w how it feels to wake up every morning with a ugly face next to you?!" Mr Banner started Mike interrupted him unintentionally.

"Yes," Everyone then looked at him. "Oh yeah my mum, she is not a pretty site." Mike said. Everyone's eyes went wide.

"YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR MUM?!" Jasper shouted laughing. Mike nodded

"We are not rich okay we could only afford one bed. Mr Banner please carry on talking," Mike said embarrassed.

"Oh okay, well every morning when I wake up extra early and come to school, so I avoid the goodbye kiss. She thinks a good night is me shaving her beard. I mean Come ONNNN that is NOTTT sexy!" Mr Banner ranted.

So he is willing to have sex with her. But not kiss her? Mike

"Hey Rosie Baby, how about you shave my beard tonight?" Emmett joked. Rosalie looked close.

"Shave what? You don't have one hair on your chin!" Rosalie retorted. Emmett frowned.

"Holy Bananas I was just kidding don't take it so seriously jeez my knees!" Emmett defended. Rosalie stuck her tongue at him. "Don't stick your tongue out at me! Keep it in your mouth!" Emmett said.

"Well that's funny, when we are kissing I'm sure you prefer it out my mouth and down your throat!" Rosalie retorded [A/N bad mental image :) Happy dreaming]

Ewww Tounge Rape! Mike

Emmett folded his arms.

"Well anyway back to me! As you can see my wife is far from…" He stopped mid sentence and breathed in. "can you smell that?" Everyone smelt.

"What?" Everyone asked, unsure on what we were meant to smell.

"Pee," Mr Banner said. Mike blushed

"Sorry, I couldn't wait any longer." Mr Banner shook his head.

"No it's too strong, it's pee and garbage. Oh did I tell you every Friday night my wife goes garbage ravaging?" Mr Banner said. Everyone looked at each other.

"It's his wife HIDEEEE," Emmett shouted everyone jumped and hid. The door opened. Bella was squished against my chest.

"Peterrrrr. Oh Peter darling. Want some fun? My beard is getting longerrr," She shouted. I could hear Mr Banner shiver.

"Who's this behind the plant? Are you hiding from me young lad?" She asked. Emmett jumped out, sad he was found.

And that is why he never wins hide and seek Rosalie

"I wass ummm…watering the plants," Emmett said.

"No, sonny boy it looked like you were hiding to me…" She said.

"Well so is your husband and 6 pupils!" Emmett said, ratting us out. We all got out to show our faces.

Does she ever look in the mirror? Rosalie

Gok Wan needed! Or me…I am just as good Alice

Soo, whose gunna tell her she has banana in her hair? Emmett

"Hey Patricia, sorry I was hiding because we were playing hide and seek." Mr Banner lied. Patricia thought for a bit

"Well if you were all hiding, who was seeking?" She asked.

"Well we didn't think that through…" Mr Banner began to say, but old Einstein Emmett had to butt in.

"YOUUU" He shouted. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"How did you know I was coming?" Patricia asked.

"Well your beautiful scent, you smell of lavenders," Emmett said.

Dead Lavenders…Rotting in a field…That are over a century old, and bathed in wee, every hour. Emmett

"Oh many people have said that," Patricia said.

Who?! People that can't smell?! Alice

"So, Love let's go home now," Mr Banner said.

"Okay let me say good bye to all these lovely children, kissesss," Patricia said coming around to all of us. She kissed Emmett, everyone looked horrified

If Vampires could puke, that is what I would be doing nowww Emmett

And here comes my lunchhh Mike

She then came and kissed me. Bella laughed. Traitor. I'm sure my blood from yesterday is going to find it's way out of my mouth soon. Even if it is impossible.

The clock struck 7, everyone ran out the door. Making up for the no PDA [A.N Public display of affection] rule inside the classroom I turned to Bella, leaning in to kiss her. She screamed.

"I will not kiss your lips until you washed them thoroughly, three times. With soap." Bella said. I sighed. And using my vampire speed kissed her. She scowled at me.

"Ewwww Old lady kiss ewwwwww," She screamed jumping up and down. Mike appeared out of nowhere.

"Bella, my lips haven't been kissed…" Mike suggested.

"And they never will Mike," Bella smirked. Mike frowned. Everyone then started running down the corridors, Mr Banner was running behind us.

"YOU WILL NOT KISS ME WOMEN!" We all laughed.

"I am freeee! No more weird conversations. Or weird ladies." Emmett shouted.

"Hey guys! No running in the corridors! Detention on Monday Evening!" Mr Banner shouted. We all immediately stopped.

"No F**KING WAY" Emmett cursed.

"You mean we have to do all this again?! In three days time?!" Mike said in disbelief.

"Yes, you better make the most of your weekend," Mr Banner said smirking evilly.