This will be my first South Park story, so go easy on me if I don't get their characters completely down. But, tell me about anything I have wrong or could change please.


All the kids in South Park High gathered around the center of the lunch area. There was another fight today and there was no way they were going to miss this.

Fights were the all-time source of entertainment for all High school students. If you missed it, you were considered anti-social and cast out. All the students talked about the fight—whether good or bad—for at least two days after it was over. And when the people who fought came back from the inevitable suspension, the winner was praised and the loser, if he or she actually put up a good enough fight, was too. If you run or act like a pussy while in a fight, then you're shunned until you can make it up. That is, if anyone challenges you after that anyway.

It was like a signal—think of the high school fight version of a 'spider sense'—that went off in the kids heads whenever and wherever a fight took place. They could be in a classroom, catching up on work during lunch or something, then suddenly a fight starts and they're darting across school like a maniac with everyone else.

Fights are serious business.

The kids gathered around, those in the back pushing to the front. Everyone trying to get in on the free action before the teachers came and split them all up. But, most importantly, everyone had to see just who and who were fighting this time.

There are two types of fights: fistfights and vocal fights. Those who do well in fistfights are usually too overcome by fury and anger to come up with good comebacks to vocal fights. Those who do well in vocal fights are usually too weak or calculating to do well in fistfights.

Sometimes vocal fights lead to fistfights.

Hardly anybody is good at both. You need to have a cunning mind and also a fair strength and anger. Normal fights, it may be best to control your anger and come up with something to overthrow your opponent, but in High school, nobody cares. There's no time for that. You get mad, you fight, throw some words around, then the teachers break it up and it's over.

Back to the topic. There's hardly anybody good enough to win a fight that goes from vocals-to-fists without looking like a total pussy or screw-up.

Except one: the all time fight master of South Park High…

Kyle Broflovski.

"Go Kyle!"

"Don't let that asshole get to you!"

Cheers from his friends, all of course in the front row, Stan and Cartman, cheered Kyle on. Kyle smirked to himself as he stood calmly. This was a dangerous position for an equally dangerous person.

Craig didn't flinch.

"Well, pretty boy, looks like your fan girls are already wanting more of that pussy of yours." Craig smirked. The vocal fight began.

Kyle shrugged it off easily. "Hey, I'm the one getting some on a daily basis here. You open yours and the poor girl gets dust in her face."

Uh-oh, not good. Craig was already mad and the fight had barely started. Kyle was calm as ever. Craig's temper was bad, too, which was why he was known as a good fist fighter. One of the school's best.

"At least I don't still have all that sand in my vagina. I mean, how's one of your guys supposed to get in there with all that blocking the way?" His crew—Tweek, Clyde, and Token—let out their breaths. He started that bad—'at least', you never use that to start out: it sounds too desperate—but ended well.

There was a muffled, "Hey! That's my line!" from Cartman in the crowd, but it was ignored.

Then the clincher, from Kyle. No hesitation. "Why don't you ask your mother?"

Roars of 'oohs' and 'niiiice' grew among the riled crowd of on-lookers. Craig's eyebrow twitched and he growled. His hands curled and uncurled into fists. But still he somehow managed to stay calm enough to try again.

Bad idea.

He hesitated. He stuttered. "Wh-why don't you ask…y-your…uh, own!" And he failed.

Just by the sounds of pity and head-shakes from the crowd of his peers, Craig knew he'd lost this fight. Kyle stood proud, hands by his side twitching, waiting for what he knew would come next, his eyes narrowed and his mouth lifted in a smirk.

Then it came, like wild fire. Craig snapped and lunged full-force at Kyle, smacking him right in the forehead, but not managing to do what he originally intended because Kyle ducked in time. At this, Kyle moved around, and kicked Craig in his stomach. The black-haired boy coughed, but stood again.

This is where Kenny came in, pushing his way to the front with his other friends in his rightful, Kyle-cheering spot.

He always admired how well Kyle fought. His smooth vocabulary and his quick moves. He was untouchable and invincible. Sure, Kenny could fight, but due to the parka he used to wear for so many years (he got rid of it freshman year and it was now their junior year), his vocab was limited.

He watched as Kyle fought with such grace against the ferocious Craig in beast-mode. Kyle was beautiful at best.

Maybe that was why he had such a ruling crush on the red-head.

Craig stayed low and aimed for Kyle's stomach. It would've been a nice blow, but Kyle knew better. This wasn't his first time fighting Craig. He grabbed the other boy's wrist and twisted it around to his back, using his leg to slam him to the ground.

Craig saw teachers coming through the crowd. He glanced up from his painful position to see Kyle looking elsewhere and followed that gaze to…Kenny? When did that poor piece of crap get here? His scowl turned into a silent devious smile as he continued to study the look in the red-head's eyes. Oh, this was just too good.

Kyle was—

"Kyle Broflovski! Craig Tucker! That's it; break it up, you two!" Two officers and a teacher came and yanked Kyle and Craig forcefully away from each other. The crowd instantly broke away, rushing before their faces were picked out by the teachers or officers.

Kyle and Craig were dragged towards the Dean's Office, most likely for an explanation of their actions leading to a three-day suspension. Big deal; not like that was going to stop them from doing all this again. Craig glanced over to Kyle, a smile hidden in his eyes, anger mostly gone.

This was just too good to be true…

Kyle glanced over and noticed Craig's expression. "What are you so happy about, butthole? I just kicked your ass,"

Craig frowned, his anger rising again.

Oh, Kyle Broflovski was going to pay.


SO! Tell me what you all think! Yes, there will be fighting in almost all chapters. It will go from explicity bloody to only a couple of bumps and bruises like this one.

Don't you hate when the teacher break things up? Haha, I love school fights—they're so immature, yet everyone loves them. You Highschoolers reading this out there all know what I mean by that, too.

Read and Review!