Transcription of Mr. Angel's personal listening devices, set up in his office, transcription number 1394026 of 4567732. Transcriptionist would like it noted that she is not sure about a few of the sounds found on the audio, and has transcribed them according to the best of her knowledge and abilities. Transcriptionist would also like it noted that she approves of Mr. Angel's choice in telanovas.

Transcription as follows:

Spike: Whatcha doin'?

Angel: Shh!

Spike: Why can't I talk this time?

Angel: Because "El Angel y el Diablo" is on! Shut up!

Undetermined: squeak

Spike: What's all this then?

Angel: Shh! I'll tell you at the commercial.

(Translated from the original Spanish)

Marisol: Oh, Roberto, my heart breaks for love of you!

Roberto: Marisol, Marisol, I love you more than oxygen!

Marisol: Ah! Roberto!

Roberto: Marisol!

Carlos: Idiotas!

Undetermined: Gunshot

Carlos: What now, Marisol, now that your lover lies dying? Will you remain loyal to him? Or will you save him by selling yourself--to me?

Marisol: Carlos! You devil! How dare you?

Carlos: Think quickly Marisol! Your lover's life is draining as we speak!

Undetermined: music swells

Undetermined: click

Angel: Okay, what did you want?

Spike: You watch telanovas?

Angel: What? You watch "Days of Our Lives" and "Passions."

Spike: You watch telanovas.

Angel: It's the same thing, just in a different language.

Spike: No it's not! How do you even understand them anyway? And what the bloody hell is going on on that show?

Angel: Oh, well, Marisol and Roberto are lovers, but Marisol is married to Carlos, who found out about them through Juanita's sister, Lourdes. Anyway, Carlos is having an affair with Juanita, but Lourdes thinks that he's still faithful to Marisol, so when she found out that Marisol was getting it on with Roberto, she immediately told Carlos, who flew into a jealous rage and put Juanita into a coma. Then he bought a gun, with the reasoning that if his lover was in a coma and probably dying, Marisol's should be too. So he burst in just now, and shot Roberto, and now he's making Marisol choose between them.

Spike: The fact that you know all this is staggering.

Angel: Do you want to hear about Lourdes and Roberto? See, they're really brother and sister, but--

Spike: Please, no! I have enough keeping up with english soaps. How you manage to watch them in Spanish is beyond me.

Angel: I spent a few years down in Mexico. Right before I came to LA and stayed at the Hyperion. Actually, I think it was right after that whole business with the submarine.

Spike: This has got to be the strangest conversation we've ever had.

Undetermined: pause

Angel: I don't know, there have been some weird ones.

Spike: Oh yeah, like that one about cavemen versus knights.

Angel: Knights would still totally win.

Spike: Not if they didn't have their armor.

Angel: Isn't this kind of moot? Knights don't exist anymore.

Spike: Yeah, I guess. Hey, your show's back on.

Angel: Oooh, shut up. Marisol's about to make her decision.

Spike: You are such a dork.

Angel: Shh!

Spike: Astronauts are kind of like knights.

Angel: Are not.