Disclaimer: I do not own any words, characters, or plot relating to the Harry Potters series as obviously they belong to J. K. Rowling. Also, I do not own the song, World Spins Madly On, by The Weepies.

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I woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
And let the world spin madly on

Was it really a new day? How have weeks passed since that moment? How have days or hours or minutes? I don't want to be alive, not when they aren't, not when she isn't.

Somehow it was over. Voldemort was gone. But everything was wrong. So many people I cared about died: Remus, Tonks, and Fred were just a few. The survivors had begun rebuild their lives around the gaping holes that were left behind by those who died. Some have ignored the absence of the lost, others have tried to move on, and others still will always remember, forever living in that moment when someone they cared about was lost for all eternity. As for me, I don't know which of those I will live out. I still can't believe it happened. Right now all I can think of is her.

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I promised to protect her. Instead I left. I left her alone as I went off to play the hero. There was no way for me to contact her. I wouldn't have, if I could've anyway. I couldn't let Hermione, Ron, or anyone else know how I felt about her. Ginny was supposed to be the only one for me. But no, that's not true. At least it wasn't when she was still breathing.


I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

I promised everything, I promised what I knew I couldn't give her. I promised forever. But I think she knew. She knew they were well-intentioned lies. I promised forever even though we both knew it was kill or be killed. She knew I could die. I never thought she would.


I woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I had to go find the Horcruxes. I had to defeat Voldemort. I had to leave Ginny behind just like I had to hurt her. Even before I left, I always had the feeling that she knew I could never choose her. I would never fulfill my promises. I didn't even tell her goodbye. I simply disappeared.


I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on

Somehow life still goes on around me. People rebuild, others grieve. The muggle world goes on unaffected. But how can it be possible? How can life continue when the one person, whose death I always thought would stop the world on its axis, is gone? She meant everything to me but I still couldn't gather the courage to actually choose her. I sometimes expect to be able to see her, to hold her, to tell her I love her. I wonder if anyone else notices the gaping hole in daily life that she left behind. I wonder if anyone else notices the gaping hole in my heart that she left. There are points that I feel like I am stuck in place as everyone moves on, as everyone else rebuilds, as everyone else grieves, as everyone else do not leave who they love.

And the world spins madly on

In the end, I guess I know which scenario I'm going to live out. I'm not living in the moment forever. I'm not ignoring her death. I'm moving on. Ginny can't know. I can't hurt Ginny too.

I travel my fingers over the cold stone that marks her presence. Ginny calls my name and I walk away from the site. I've already lingered too long. I choose to go with Ginny, to leave her, like I always have, to move forward to a new world without her.

And the world spins madly on…