A/N: If you're familiar with my already-in-progress Sweetie Ficlet endeavor, this is similar but separate. I'm part of a fanfiction writing community on LiveJournal called fanfic100 (link to be posted on profile momentarily) where we pick our own topics and write 100 fanfiction tidbits on that topic. I chose a Remus/Sirius slash pairing. I rarely if ever extend outside of canon, and I really never thought I'd ever write slash, but I'm having a lot of fun with it so I thought I'd share with y'all. It'll be an interesting experiment, anyway. :)
The 100 chapters in this fic will feature a same-sex partnership. If you are not comfortable with it, please move along without flaming. Don't read it if it's going to make you angry.
Thanks for reading. Reviews are always welcome.
"Hello Mooooony," Sirius crooned as he stomped into the dormitory.
"Hello. How was Quidditch."
Remus was mad. Sirius could tell because he was talking in clipped phrases and was staring at the same point on the book.
"Same as ever. Fast. Ridiculous. Fantastic. How was… erm…" Sirius tilted his head sideways as he read the cover of the book. "The Many Uses of Rat Feces in Potions, Charms, and Divination?" He made a face.
"Fine!" Remus said, with an air of someone commenting on what the weather was like last weekend. "Just fine."
"Good!" Sirius said in plain imitation of Remus' tone. "Jolly good."
Remus closed his book with a snap and glared at Sirius with unwarranted contempt. "Is there something you want?"
Mischief twitched at the corner of Sirius' mouth. "Apart from you, you mean?" He bit his lip and gave Remus the once-over. He was never very good at taking conflict seriously.
Despite himself, Remus' lips twitched, then were tightened immediately against one another as Remus looked away and crossed his arms. "Right funny way of showing it."
Sirius resisted the temptation to roll his eyes and opted instead for his best puppy dog expression as he crawled onto Remus' four-poster. "Apparently I've done something wrong," he said soberly. "I don't know what it is, but I think if I act really cute –" and he flopped onto his back beside Remus and held his hands and feet in the air like paws – "perhaps I'll make you laugh, or at least annoy you enough to tell me what it is I'm supposed to have done."
Remus looked down disdainfully at Sirius, smirked at his wide eyes and innocent stare, and relaxed. "Nevermind, Pads. I'm overreacting."
"No, something's got Moony's knickers in a twist, and it is my job to untwist them."
"Says Sirius Black, and he is the absolute spitting image of truth and rationality."
Remus finally gave a burst of laughter, and Sirius jumped onto his knees on the bed, grinning. "Yay! Got you laughing! Now let's lay it out."
It was Remus' turn to look mischievous. "Now just what are you suggesting, Mr Truth and Rationality?"
Sirius clicked his tongue. "Moony, you dirty boy. I meant your beef. Not that beef," he had to clarify again, although the grin spreading across his face showed that he might not be kidding anymore if he made another such comment. He was trying to be serious! He was talking to Moony, after all; the only other thing Moony responded better to than seriousness would cause a rather significant tangent in the conversation. "What are you in a tiff about?"
Remus smiled in earnest now as he shook his head. "I'm really quite serious, Padfoot, it's nothing. Forget it."
"Nope. This situation is like that time when I insisted on eating a whole chocolate cake and wanted to stop halfway and you scold me for it. 'Now that you've started, you've got to finish'." He imitated Remus' voice with surprising accuracy. Sirius' eyes started to twinkle, and Remus knew what he was going to do before he did it. "Or it's like when I go like this –"
Remus slapped the hand away, smiling. Sirius kept grinning and began bouncing on his knees while Moony thought. Finally, the werewolf looked up. "There's nothing between you and J…" he hesitated. "Janie Trump. Is there?" he asked quietly.
Sirius blinked heavily. "Me and Janie? No! Why? No!"
"Okay," Remus said immediately, pursing his lips.
"Janie's blonde! And… a girl! I don't like blonde girls!"
"You like some girls," Remus reminded him sheepishly.
"Yeah, but I picked you over all of them. And you have brown hair. If Janie had brown hair, it might be a different story…"
"Har har," Remus said slowly, smiling as he tossed a pillow at Sirius. Sirius caught the pillow with his excellent reflexes and put it down on the bed. He was now eyeing Remus with a different, more sincere expression.
"Who do you really want to ask me about?" he asked quietly.
Remus pursed his lips at his inability to fool Sirius. "It's stupid," Remus reminded him.
"For the last time, Moony, neither of us is getting any nookie until your knickers are untwisted, so let's –"
"James," Remus said quickly. Sirius looked around at the dorm entrance, but there was no one there.
"He's still downstairs, trying to chat up Lily, no doubt –" But Padfoot stopped in the middle of his sentence as he caught sight of Remus' expression. "Oh, Remus, no," he said with more seriousness than he'd managed through the whole conversation. "No, there's nothing between me and Prongs."
"I know," he said sullenly, hugging the pillow he'd thrown at Sirius a minute ago. "It's obvious that there isn't when you're not on the Quidditch pitch, but… when you're on your broomsticks, all passion in the heat of the game, totally in sync with one another…"
Sirius chuckled, but the sound was hollow. "When you describe it like that, Lupin, you might force me to have feelings for James." Sirius sighed and sat cross-legged on the bed, taking Remus' hand between his. "Prongs is my best friend. He is my brother. We understand each other. Well… not entirely. I still don't understand why he won't give up on that redhead, and he doesn't know about you and me… at least not that I know of…" Sirius' brow was stitched in thought. "Anyway, yeah, we have a sync thing going on, but I understand him enough that I'd never have feelings for him. Merlin, he's like me, only with a softer heart and a kinder family." He squeezed Moony's hand. "You, I don't get. You're a ruddy mystery. You're wild and you're complacent, you're an intellectual and you are primal. And I like that. I like a challenge. You drive me nuts because I don't get you. James doesn't drive me nuts. He'll never drive me nuts. In fact, he'll never have anything to do with my nuts. So stop worrying."
Remus smiled at Sirius' words, but obviously wasn't convinced. "You don't see the two of you on the Quidditch pitch…" Remus began, trailing off into a mutter. Sirius caught the words 'passion' and 'mates'.
"Yeah, Moony, teammates," Sirius clarified. "You don't play Quidditch, so it's tough to explain to you, but I promise, everything that happens on the field stays on the field. There's nothing any more erotic about me playing Quidditch with your mother than there is of me playing with Prongs." Sirius winced. "Okay, so it's a little more erotic than that, but I think you'll forgive me for my exceedingly platonic feelings toward your mother."
Now Remus laughed loudly and rolled suddenly over, tackling Sirius and holding him against the wall behind the four-poster. "How long do you suppose James is going to take with Lily?" Remus asked quietly.
"I dunno," Sirius replied. "It won't be long before she blows him off again –"
"Somewhere… doing something… I bet…" Sirius was looking at Remus' lips and it was clear he wasn't thinking about Peter.
Remus shrugged. "Well, I guess we'll have to take our chances then," and crushed his lips against Sirius', leaning into him.
Sirius broke away. "Blimey, I should reiterate my non-romantic feelings for James more often," he breathed, and the pair explored further into the issue of Remus' beef.