Dinner at the Titan Tower was finished. Terra and Cyborg were licking their plates to obtain the last 6 food molecules that had escaped their maws; Robin was fastidiously wiping away with a napkin; Starfire was finishing off the cardboard pizza box; and Beast Boy stuck two chopsticks in his nose and sang "I Am the Walrus". Raven frowned inexpressively.

A strong sense of anticipation was in the air. After they were all finished with their respective tasks (except Raven, she was never finished frowning inexpressively) Robin put down his napkin. "Okay, time for dessert."

The table glittered with expressions of childlike delight. Starfire set before her a large apple pie with chocolate whipped cream, mustard, and crumbled hamburger that was just a few days past its expiration date. Cyborg dug into a small chocolate bunt cake (he had sworn off pies ever since the Mother Mae-Eye incident), Robin munched a Hershey bar, Beast Boy dug into a Sunday, and Terra consumed an entire bag of mini candy bars without removing the wrapping. Raven just shook her head.

"Hon't hoo rant hum-hing?" Beast Boy asked. He meant to say "Don't you want something," but his mouth was working around a particularly large piece of ice cream and a cherry.

"No thanks. I've lost my appetite," Raven said, filling each word with a heavy scoop of detached disdain. She rolled her eyes slightly, made the slightest of nauseated expressions, and then floated away to her room.

Once there, Raven closed the door. She activated the lock, double-lock, manual lock, and cast Arcane Lock on the entry point. She then cast a false scrying spell on the room so that anybody watching by magical means would see an illusion of her meditating. She threw covers over her mirror, her crystal ball, and a few other objects in her room that could sometimes act as two-way portals. She closed her eyes and swept the entire room for living presences, checking to make sure each insect was neither supernaturally linked to another entity nor green colored. She closed her windows and activated a black tint and drew the curtains. Thusly content, she let out a long, deep, sigh.

Raven got out her skull-shaped multi-purpose audio player, a specialty music-instrument that played records, audiotapes, and CDs, and received radio in FM, AM, and HAM, and she put on some slow music. . She reached into the pocket dimension she kept in a chest in her closet, and took out her dirty little secret.

Slowly, tenderly, she stripped off the brown paper. She breathed deeply through her nose, taking in the smell. She gently rubbed against it, licking the big, long, hard, chocolate bar.

Soon she was lying on the bed, belt off, leotard replaced with a loose pair of pajamas pushed back by her bulging belly. She radiated a visible afterglow of delight, rubbing her stomach, and let loose a long happy belch. With a soft, self-amused irony in her voice, she whispered flatly:

"Was it good for you?"

The titan tower alarm sounded, and Raven was stirred from her euphoria. She cursed quietly and discharged black sparks, then went to quickly get dressed.


The titans arrived on the crime scene at Low-Security E-Z-Rob Banks, (a division of GeneriCo). A group of citizens from varying demographics were huddled in a small crowd at one end of the wall, with an elderly unarmed security guard pinned against the wall by a massive gob of cookie dough. The sinister figure had an emotionless face and a mottled brown costume, adorned with a cookie on the front and the back with four embossed letter C's. The titans burst in apparently catching the villain at the tail-end of a monologue. "-to ME, the Chocolate Chip Cookie Caper!"

Raven took a brief moment to speculate the decrease of dignity in the super-villain profession. Robin extended his combat pole. "Time for your cookies to crumble. Titans, Go!"

Beast Boy transformed into a Rhinocerous and charged at the offender, horn lowered, nostrils flaring. The cookie on the CCCC's chest-plate opened up and ejected four rapid blasts of thick cookie dough. Beast Boy gave a startled bellow as he stretched a few feet forward, then was violently yanked back by the elastic and adhesive powers of the substance, pinned to the ground. Cyborg stepped forward and extended his arm, transforming it into a sonic cannon. Before he could begin charging, the other man flicked his wrist and struck his face with two cookies. One shattered his glass eye, the other cut right into his organic one. He grabbed his face, his eyelid blinking over a chocolate chip cookie instead of his normal retinal material. He staggered out of the building screaming "I'M BLIND!".

Robin leapt at the Cookie Caper, but was knocked out through the window by a stream of baked goods projectiles. Starfire flew at the four-C villain, but he landed a swift blow against her lower back and she gave a funny jerking movement and went limp. The figure grabbed her, dragging her out. Starfire came to quickly, but before she could regain her strength, the Chocolate Chip Cookie Caper opened up some tube-like apparatus on his arm-piece, put her in a headlock, and shoved it into her mouth, dragging her out as it whirred. She struggled to keep from choking as a steady flow of thick gooey cookie dough and warm cookie chunks pumped down her throat. This enemy seemed to be trying to bloat her to incapacitation, an effort which would prove vain. While he seemed to know the right place to stun a Tamaranian with one hit, the knowledge of her nine stomachs must be beyond him. Raven rose up, prepared to rend him apart with a wave of thaumaturgical force. "Azerath MetroMMPH!" she said, half-choking on the cookie that was forced into her mouth at high velocity. The moment she barely swallowed it down, her mouth was too dry and her throat irritated, and two more were jammed in to replace the cookie. She gave a muffled moan of frustration.

Meanwhile, Beast Boy struggled against his doughy bonds, taking a number of forms but to no avail.

"A little help here?"


Outside Robin sprung to his feet at the CCCC's approach, shaking off sharks of glass and flecks of blood as he rose. Banishing the stabs of pain from his mind, he brought up his fighting stick and grabbed a birdarang in one fluid motion. The confectionary-themed nemesis swung around and held the struggling Starfire directly in the line of fire. As he continued pumping a steady stream of cookie dough into her, he poked her globular gut, looked at Robin threateningly and snapped his fingers. The nonverbal message was clear: one wrong move and she bursts. Cyborg was still stumbling around, the cookie lodged in his eye socket blinking stupidly, while having a desperate conversation with a street lamp. Raven burst out from the shadows but was struck a twin cookie-shot in the mouth and in her nose. Spitting half-chewed cookie and blood streaming from her nose, she shouted in a commanding but distorted voice "Aderab medion gynhoze!"

It was at this crucial point that Terra joined the fray. She sprung from a nearby rooftop, having been helplessly deposited there earlier by a strong breeze, riding a slab of asphalt-coated topsoil. Letting loose a whoop of exhilaration, she flared with yellow light and clenched her fists. For a moment nothing happened. Then the Chocolate Chip Cookie Caper was pulverized into the ground at high speed with 150 pounds of mixed loam, 20 pounds of floor paneling, 15 pounds of cookie dough, and a very surprised green rhinocer


By this time the dough had dried out, and with that final jarring Beast Boy managed to shake himself free of bonds, rise up, and resume human form. Starfire, Robin, Terra, Cyborg, and Raven stared openly. "Yeah, pretty impress-"

"LOOK!" Terra shouted stupidly.

Beast Boy turned around and fainted.

The CCCC's face was scattered on the surrounding area. Closer inspection would show it to be flecks of frosting, colored and textured to perfectly resemble a human face. Instead of a face, he had a churning mass of cookie dough. He rose up, staggering but otherwise visibly unfettered by the experience.

The figure pulled out a bag of pop rocks and tore it open, pouring its contents onto the ground. Instead of the usual tiny candies, a series of bright flashes came forth, like a rainbow of signal flares. The ground began to rumble. Robin's mouth moved subconsciously, wordlessly, recognizing the conclusion he had come to. "It's a trap."

As Robin turned in the direction from which the rumbling had come, a strange sight met his eyes. Something like a flattish, translucent brown sagging tidal wave was rolling over the streets. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew the command to give.

"Titans, FLEE!"

Beast Boy transformed into a cheetah and set off, bounding across the urban jungle. Robin bounded off in an undignified leap-skip hybrid movement, caring more about his survival than his public image. Terra rose into the air and surfed along on a chunk of concrete. Raven vanished into the shadows. Starfire soared up just above the wave. Cyborg had barely turned around when the mass struck him. It was strange, like a man drowning in slow-motion. He pulled and struggled, but with all his efforts he was engulfed by the thick sticky undertow. Robin was the next to go, caught when he made a fatal stumble and was ensnared like a mosquito in tree sap. Beast Boy recalled too late that, while a cheetah had speed, it lacked endurance. He paused when he got a taste of the sticky goop that had contained him in its smothering embrace. He let out a fading scream of warning, three stretched syllables. Within minutes the golden-brown tide receded, bringing the three titans with it. Raven, Terra, and Starfire flew alone.

They searched for hours before finding a height untouched by the golden-molasses mass. It was titan tower. The trunk of the massive "T" was completely engulfed, and the sticky stuff lapped at the lower sides. Terra slid clumsily onto the wall, collapsed onto all fours, and tried to keep from heaving in the exhaustion, granting her strong resemblance to a dying stick insect. Raven gracefully alighted and eased down the nearly unconscious Starfire with a cushion of telekinetic energy. Raven stared out grimly from the edge of Titan tower, a solitary island in a sea of caramel.