Bella reads "Twilight" Parody. Also includes little pieces from new moon and eclipses.

Summary: Bella goes into the book store because she was getting so damn tired of reading Wuthering Heights (I am too.) She see's Twilight and is curious and wants to read it, after she reads it, she's has something's to say. *Bella perspective*

"There were three things that I was absolutely positive of, First Edward was a vampire, and second there was a part of him I didn't know how dominant that part was that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

I stared at the book, all I could think of was W.T.F that stuff is so freaking corny like come on "Your just like my own heroin" That's freaky why would someone want to be an example for a drug. Ugh! And this Bella, me whatever, Falls for this beautiful god or something, Hello! Anyone ever uses Hottie much.

I can give her, I mean me a thumbs up for the whole Edward thing though, but what the heck how can you be with some vampire who watches you sleep at night and not be once never creeped out about it. And I wonder if Bella is on something, I never read about someone who is so damn clumsy, like come on.

And that's a hell of offending, because their talking about me for goodness sakes. And for one I am not that clumsy, Okay I tripped over my feet a couple time, and fell on some people and ended up in the hospital a few times, but I don't consider that to be clumsy. But this book makes me seem clumsy like I'm on crack or something.

"Bella, What are you doing?" Jacob asked. And that reminded me.

Why the hell would Bella, Me kiss Jacob like come on his breath smells like he had been licking on his butt hole all damn day. Ewwwwwww. "What do it look like I am doing." "Reading." He answered. "Okay, then leave and give me some privacy dog!" I snapped back.

"Fine Jeez, Take a chill pill Bella." He said back. "Whatever mutt."I said and turned away. "Bella?" Jacob asked. "What?" I told him. "Why can't you just give me a chance, I am human Edwards a blood sucker he's not even alive, Going to the cemetery and seduces a corpse is just the same except yours is moving and walking and etc. Wouldn't you want to be with someone human?" He spilled. "Yeah, a horny wolf who's temperature that can kill a regular person is telling me to be with him because he so human cut the crap Jacob." I told him. "Just think about it Bells." He told me. He was really rocking my nerves. "Yeah huha, what ever." I told him. "Love you Bella." Jacob whispered to me. "Love me too." I replied.