Snake ran off the elevator like a super spy full of confidence (Which he was). He was in a massive big massive room with small tiny small rooms scattered around it. He ran into one like he knew where everything was, as if he had done it all before (Which he had but don't tell anyone and grabbed some C4.)

"Ye-ah! Gonna blow some shit up!" He cheered.

Snake trotted off like a cheery puppy to some off colour walls and placed his C4. One wall blew up and he collected more C4 from a new room. After collecting the C4 he ran off to another wall which he thusly blew up. He went into the newly made corridor. He ran down a long corridor, his radar was jammed. Blowing up another wall he ran down another wall (It should be noted that he likes to blow stuff up. Just so you know…okay? Okay). Once again he blew up so walls and walked into a new room, and into a new confrontation.

In front of Snake was Bun Baker, tied up to a large metal (Not nylon) pylon.

"Am I too late?" Snake asked himself gruffly and walked forward to the chubby man.

"Oooooo," Baker squirmed "Huhuhuhuhuhuh…"

"He's alive," Snake commented (He gets very lonely so he must talk to himself. Yeah I know he could contact codec but he's not too bright) and directly conversed with Baker "You're the ArmsTech president, Kenneth Bun Baker, right?"

Baker groaned and nodded like a spag in response.

"Don't worry; I'm here to save you." Snake assured the fat man (No not the fat man from MGS2, this man was just fat. Probably eating too much buns) He reached forward.

"Noooo! Don't touch it…" Baker moaned as Snake went to touch a piece of wire.

Snake recoiled "Fine! Gosh!" But then he noticed why Baker had told him off "C4!"

A gunshot went off and Snake jumped away.

"Right. Touch the wire…" A gruff Texan voice said "And the C4 will blow up along with the old fat man!" The antagonist walked into sight, holding a revolver in his hand "So you're the one that the Boss keeps talking about."

"And you?" Snake said.

"No he never talks about me," The man grimaced a tear dropped from his eye.

Snake shook his head sympathetically and then smiled "Who are you?"

"Special Operations FOX-HOUND," He didn't a load of crappy tricks with his gun "Revolver Ocelot!" He did a load more crappy tricks "I've been waiting for you, Solid Snake. Now we'll see if the man can live up to the legend!"

Snake waved him away embarrassingly "Well I don't know about a legend,"

"This is the greatest handgun ever made." Ocelot said stroking his gun gingerly "The Colt Single Action Army." He did even more crappy tricks "Six bullets. More than enough to kill anything that moves."

Snake raised an eyebrow "Well duh, one bullet in the brain would kill something, duh brain,"

Ocelot frowned but continued with his little speech which he had pre-prepared "Now I'll show you why they call me 'Revolver'!"

Snake chuckled "You blatantly gave yourself that name,"

"Fuck you!" Ocelot retorted angrily "Draw!" He shouted.

Snake sat down and drew on his notepad. He showed it to Ocelot "Look! A bunny!"

Ocelot blinked in joy "Ooo, how very cute!" He then took out his gun "Let's fight!"

"Okay!" Snake nodded vigorously and jumping onto his feet.

Snake ran around the pylon.

"Hiding won't help you," Ocelot cooed, after a second he stamped his foot "Where are you?!"

Snake shot him and Ocelot made a loud ouchy sound.

After a long while of running around the pylon and shooting like two toddlers playing cops and robbers, Ocelot ran out of bullets.

"I love to reload in battle," Ocelot chuckled but Snake shot him.

Ocelot ran away without a loaded gun and Snake chased after him. Snake shot him seven million billion times.

Suddenly Ocelot was away from Snake and hiding behind a pole "You're pretty good." Ocelot commented "Just what I'd expect from the same code as the boss. It's been a long time since I've had such a good fight but I'm just getting warmed up!"

He jumped out with newly loaded gun and aimed at Snake but his hand fell off.

"My hand!" Ocelot screamed.

The wires were all tripped and Baker fell from where he was strapped. Ocelot was thrown against the wall from the blast of the detonated C4.

"Stealth camouflage!" Ocelot exclaimed, he stood up to face the assailant "Can't you even die right!?" He turned to Snake "You were lucky. We'll meet again!"

"Goodbye!" Snake waved happily and then aimed at the mysterious new dude "Who are you?!"

The dude in a skin tight blue outfit walked forward "I'm like you… I have no name."

Fat man Bun Baker quivered on the floor "That… that exoskeleton!"

The dude roared in pain "Ggggyaaarrrggggghhhhhh!!!"

He quickly acrobatically ran out of the room.

"Who the hell?" Snake muttered.

He helped Bun Baker up with a heave ho! "Can you talk?" He asked.

"Who are you?" Baker asked like a fat man "Do you have food?"

"I'm not one of them, and I don't have any food," Snake explained "The DARPA Chief told me he gave them his detonation code. What about yours?"

"Oh I get it. Jim sent you," The fatty wheezed "You…you're from the Pentagon."

"Answer my question!" Snake demanded rather aggressively "What about your code?! There's no time!"

"I…talked…" Bun Baker admitted.

"What?!" Snake exclaimed "Now the terrorists have both codes and can launch anytime!"

Bun Baker looked up with a sad face "It's not like I didn't fight. I managed to resist Psycho Mantis' sexual mind probe."

"He couldn't read you? How'd you do it?" Snake asked.

"Surgical implants in brain… plus I'm bi-sexual," Bun Baker explained.

"Surgical implants?" Snake muttered.

Bun Baker nodded "Kind of like a psychic insulation, everyone who knows these top-secret codes has it…. plus I'm bi-sexual,"

"Even the DARPA chief?" Snake asked.

Bun Baker shook his head "Nah he's straight,"

Snake frowned "No I meant the surgical implants,"

"Oh, yeah he does," Bun Baker confirmed.

"But the DARPA Chief said Mantis got his code by sexually reading his mind." Snake said.

"Are you sure you heard him right?" Bun Baker asked.

Snake crossed his arms and pouted "YES!!! I'm not deaf y'know!" He frowned "Anyway, how did they get your code?"

"I never had training on how to resist torture," He coughed.

"It looks like he had some fun with you all right." Snake nodded.

"He's not human," Bun Baker said "I tell you he enjoyed every second of it, and I only stopped enjoying it after five hours,"

"What happened to your arm?" Snake asked pointing at… well at his arm.

"He broke it," Bun Baker answered.

"Looks like you're more than even now. His was sliced off," Snake chuckled.

"HA! You're a funny man!" Bun Baker guffawed "So the DARPA chief…. Is he okay?"


"What?!" Bun Baker choked "It can't be!" He hit Snake's leg with his stick (Ooo-er) "You know, that's not what you promised, Jim! Now you want to shut me up!"

Snake grabbed his arm "Calm down! What's wrong with you? I just told you, I was here to save you!" He frowned at him "I didn't kill the DARPA chief… kind of. He had a heart attack or something…"

"A heart attack?" Bun Baker raised an eyebrow "Don't be a fool-"

"-Don't be a fatty," Snake interjected "Anyway, the terrorists have both codes now,"

"Those boys are totally insane," Bun Baker muttered "They wouldn't hesitate to launch,"

"I agree," Snake agreed "But what do they really want?"

"Who knows," Bun Baker said "Maybe they're like us in the arms industry, always looking forward to the next good war,"

"Well I'm not going to let those fuckbitches start a war today," Snake grumbled "Do you still have the card keys?"

"Card keys?" Bun Baker repeated in a confused manner.

"To override the detonation code! I heard you had them…" Snake explained.

Bun Baker bowed his head "No, not anymore…"

Snake turned angrily "What?! Who does then!? Not the terrorists!?"

Bun Baker shook his head "Calm down you low pixelated spy. No. That woman."

Snake frowned "Woman!? Who?"

"A soldier that was thrown in prison along with me. She had a fine ass," Bun Baker clarified.

"A female soldier with a fine ass? It must be…" Snake muttered.

"She said that she had just joined up as a new recruit." Bun Baker explained "They threw her in prison 'cause she refused to take part in the rebellion and refused to let Liquid take pictures of her ass,"

"A new recruit? Could that be Colonel's niece?!" Snake muttered to himself.

"I gave her the key;" Bun Baker said "Looks like she managed to break out of here though. I hope she and her lovely ass is okay,"

"I'm sure she is," Snake reassured "She's green… but as tough as they come. But how did you know that she escaped?"

"I don't how she's green but I'll answer you're question. I was in contact with her by Codec," Bun Baker stated "Until I was tied up here that is,"

"Codec?" Snake asked.

He nodded "Yes. She stole it from the guard. If she still has it, you should be able to contact her."

"I'm sure she still has it," Snake said "What frequency was she at?"

"Oh yeah. Let me tell you," Bun Baker replied but then he started groaning fatly "ooooehhrtrht,"

"Huh?" Snake muttered

"Oh, sorry I forgot," Bun Baker said like a fat man.

Snake flung his fist "Damn!"

"Oh that's right! It should be on the back of the CD case. Try to contact her!" Bun Baker exclaimed.

"You're talking absolute bollocks, but I'll contact her right away," Snake said "But tell me… if this doesn't work, is there some other way to prevent them blowing shit up?"

Bun Baker thought about this "Hmm, you need to find Hal Emmerich, one of my employees,"

"Who's that?" Snake asked.

"One of my employees," Bun Baker answered.

Snake shook his head "No, what does he do?"

"Oh, he's the team leader of the Metal Gear Rex project. A genius at engineering, but a little bit of an oddball." Bun Baker said "If there's anyone who can figure out how to stop Metal Gear launching, it's him."

Snake looked at him "What if this douchebag can't come up with anything?"

"You'll have to destroy it!" Bun Baker replied "Emmerich knows how to destroy Metal Gear."

"Where is this douchebag?" Snake asked.

Bun Baker pointed his stick at Snake (Ooo-er) "Well… he's probably being held somewhere in the Nuclear Warhead Storage Building." He said "Its north from here. That's where he worked,"

Snake nodded "I understand, but… why Metal Gear? The nuclear age ended with the turn of the millennium,"

Bun Baker shook his head "You're wrong. The threat of a nuclear war isn't gone. In fact it's greater than it's ever been!"

Just want to thank those who have been reading. Gerkyhen (woohoo), Ghostsammeo, Sanguinary Tears and OcelotNinja666.