This wasn't supposed to be posted for another couple of days but a bit of begging from one of my readers changed my mind. This is it the final chapter. I brought the title through a bit as I'd always intended to – It's a bit of a game to notice but I tried to make them clearer. Seriously thank all of you for sticking it out this long. I appreciate it!
To my reviewers: Stella296, Lori2279, LitPrincess2787, annablake, CarolinaGirl21, Krazy4Spike, Butterflies In My Stomach, AquarianAir, GGfanficfan09, LovelyLydia, youdontjustgiveup, Del, SoutherBelle88, and Sw33tHeart21. Sorry I didn't get around to responding to each of your reviews. I've been busy this week but I just wanted you to know that I've really appreciated every single one throughout this entire fanfic. You guys are so fantastic and make writing more fun!
To my Beta ggff-fan. Without you this fanfic never would have happened so a huge thank you goes to you as well!
What I Can Do
Blair was relaxing on her bed wondering why Chuck hadn't called to confirm dinner plans. She knew that the fight had been their worst to date but he was the one who'd said they'd talk at dinner. Right now, after her conversation with Nate she couldn't help but feel grateful that she had Chuck, with what Nate was going through it made everything else seem silly.
It was as she wondered for probably the tenth time why Chuck hadn't called that she remembered that her phone had died earlier that afternoon. She sighed in relief as she withdrew it from her purse switiching it on as she plugged it into her charger. Her heart stopped as Gossip Girl's video streamed.
She had to resist throwing her phone against the wall when she saw the blast. She was immediately consumed by a desperate need to get to Chuck and explain what had happened. She hadn't even told him she was going to see Nate because she'd still been mad about their earlier argument. Rushing from her room she practically ran down the stairs and to the elevator, she had so many places to look and so little time - the longer she waited to find him the worse the damage was going to be.
It was almost half an hour later when she was standing in his suite at the Palace, feeling sicker by the minute. He wasn't there and it was clear that he had been and he hadn't been happy. There was what appeared to be a shattered set of tumblers littering the floor.
As she stood there observing the apartment she'd begun to think of as their place, she ran a finger over the pin attached to her sweater. He'd only given it back to her yesterday and already she'd broken the promise it carried - she hadn't protected his heart.
Shutting the door she walked down the hallway unsure of where she was headed until she was walking up the stairs. Within minutes she was knocking on the door to Serena's apartment, relieved when she answered.
Blair sighed tears pricking the backs of her eyes. "Have you seen Chuck? I need to find him."
Serena's eyebrows rose as she took in Blair's frantic appearance. "What's going on B? Why were you at Nate's and what are you doing here?"
Blair tilted her head back as though she were trying to hold back the tears. "Nate called me and said he needed to talk and I couldn't say no S. He's going through so much and as I was leaving I hugged him."
"That's not what the video looked like." Serena said as she gestured for Blair to come in.
Blair practically shouted as she shook her head. "I know that's not what it looked like S but that's what it was. Chuck broke a bunch of glass in his apartment and I'm scared as to where he might have gone."
Serena shook her head a little. "I haven't heard from him, maybe he just needs some time."
Exhaling exasperated. "You don't understand Serena, the longer he goes without knowing the truth the worse this is going to get. I don't know what he might do."
"I'm sorry B, I'll let you know if I hear from him." Serena said but Blair barely seemed to hear her as she had already started walking away.
Blair knew where she had to go next. There was only one person who might be able to help her find Chuck, one person who might understand. And that person was living at the Waldorf-Astoria for the time being. It wasn't that long of a walk but a cab would be faster and with time being the major factor here, a cab was more than reasonable.
It was as she was riding in the cab that Blair realized yet another person who might have seen Chuck this afternoon. Snapping open her phone she was relieved that it charged quickly and wasn't completely dead after only being plugged in for the ten minutes she'd let it charge. Texting Nate, her fingers seemed to fly across the keyboard.
hav u seen chuck?
As she waited Blair decided that after this she would try calling Chuck. Even though that was less than ideal and he might not answer she could leave a message, for that matter she could text him too. He may not pick up is she rang but he couldn't avoid reading a message. Then when she found him she'd make him listen. As her phone buzzed she looked down to see Nate's response, not sure what she was looking for.
surprisingly no. i'm sorry this happened
Blair almost didn't respond, Nate wasn't her concern right now but she needed to make sure of one thing.
text me if u do.
With that she began to call Chuck, something she would continue to do all the way to Madison's hotel room and as she predicted she would have no success.
"What were you thinking?" Madison snapped into her phone. Her hands were shaking with anger as she clutched the phone more tightly by the second. She'd been trying this number for the past three hours and this was the first time she'd gotten an answer
"I was thinking that this would help you out."
Madison sighed in frustration. "By what? Posting trash?"
"So I'm wrong in thinking that you're still in love with Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf was the only one standing in your way?"
Madison felt like she was going to vomit. This was all her fault, Gossip Girl had posted that video because of her. "Yes you're wrong. Blair is my friend."
The voice on the other line scoffed. "Your friend? What happened to the Madison I know? The Madison that I was prepping to take over for me when I graduated."
"That girl doesn't exist anymore. I'd never want to be you, I'd never want to be responsible for ruining people's lives. You and I both know that Nate and Blair aren't kissing in that video but because you insinuated they were that's what everyone's going to think. Now stay out of my business" Madison spat coldly, knowing that she was walking a dangerous line. No matter how mad she might be, pissing off Gossip Girl could make things ten times worse.
"Don't you get it Maddie, you're part of my business now. Now that you're involved in all of the UES scandal, you're vulnerable."
Madison's next words were practically hissed into the phone. "Don't you dare threaten me cousin."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
Madison gritted her teeth at the realization that her cousin had hung up on her. She was about to call her back or maybe even pay her a visit when she heard knocking on her door. Her first thought was that it might be Blair looking for help finding Chuck but a sick feeling in her gut told her otherwise.
"Chuck what are you doing here?" She asked, her voice tired and more than a little frustrated after her conversation with her cousin. This was the last place Chuck needed to be at that moment because right now she was vulnerable and he was vulnerable and anything that might happen would be very wrong.
Chuck swallowed, his throat raw from the scotch he'd practically inhaled after reading the Gossip Girl blast. "I'm here because you're the only one who understands me."
Madison shook her head. "That's not true and you know it. Blair understands you." She said taking a step backwards into her room.
Chuck matched her step, not bothering to shut the door as he advanced. "Blair's a cheater. You're the one that really cares."
"You're drunk Chuck." Madison said, placing a hand on his chest to halt his progress. Amazed at how drunk he really was. She'd never seen him like this, not once. "You don't want me, you never have. It's always been Blair."
At this point Chuck had drawn himself so close that he was pressing her against the back of the sofa. "I wanted you once, I could want you again." This time he didn't wait for anymore words before grabbing behind her head and slamming Madison's mouth into his. All he wanted was to forget how much Blair didn't want him and with Madison he could do that.
At first Madison was too stunned to struggle. She knew he was drunk but this was unexpected. Then her hormones began to fire up as he touched her in just the right ways and for a moment she even kissed him back before she remembered why kissing Chuck was bad; why she couldn't be doing this.
Pressing both of her hands against his chest she pushed him backwards. As she did she revealed the one person she wanted least to see in that moment standing in the doorway arms crossed across her chest.
"Blair, this isn't what it looks like." Madison started immediately.
Chuck's head snapped around to see Blair standing there and all he wanted to do was smirk after all, this was perfect payback wasn't it. But what he wanted to do and what he seemed able to do were two totally different things as his face seemed to fall.
Blair rolled her eyes. "It's a wonder I'm even surprised. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." She added with a shrug.
Chuck's eyes narrowed. "Like it's anything different from what you just did."
Blair didn't hesitate to snap right back. "You really never learn Chuck do you or does this not feel familiar? It's Cotillion all over again only this time you're actually supposed to trust me because we are actually together. Once more you've gone off something on Gossip Girl instead of just asking me about it."
Chuck's nostrils flared wide at her accusations - she'd say anything to take the blame off herself. "Right because you don't usually go running back to Nate the second things get hard."
Blair just shook her head unable to say anything more. Either he believed her or he didn't and clearly Chuck had made his choice. Though when she looked away from Chuck and her eyes found Madison she was filled with a rush of anger she hadn't quite been expecting and she didn't quite know how to deal with it so she let it out in the only way she knew.
"And you really are a manipulative psycho bitch." Blair shouted directly at Madison. "God I can't believe I fell for it all over again. I actually let you in, told you things that I hadn't told anyone. I thought we were friends."
Madison shook her head imploringly. "We are Blair, just let me explain."
Blair shook her head as well but it was in dismissal. "No I think I've heard quite enough lies from your mouth to last me a lifetime, I don't particularly care to hear more. I'm sure this all played out just perfectly for you. It's fine, you win, I'm done." And with those words Blair walked straight out of the hotel room and didn't look back.
As soon as Blair walked away Madison felt, rather than saw, Chuck collapse next to her. Turning to face him she spoke only a few very serious words. "We'll fix it. Whatever it takes, we'll fix it."
Looking up at Madison, Chuck's eyes were pleading because in that moment when Blair had walked away he'd seen all the hurt in the world on her face and realized that what she said hadn't been wrong - once again he'd acted without even asking for her side. "I can't lose her Madison. I'm in love with her."
With those words Madison smiled a determination she hadn't felt in a long time filling her. "In that case, I think I know just the thing."
Blair was sitting at Gilt, the bar at the Palace Hotel, when she saw Nate walk in through the mirror behind the bar. She knew this wasn't exactly the best place to hide but maybe, just maybe she wanted to be found. She didn't say a word as Nate took a seat next to her; all she did was take another sip of her drink.
Nate motioned for the bartender. "I'll take a Jack and Coke and give her another of whatever she's drinking."
It wasn't until after the bartender brought her the next Martini that Blair acknowledged Nate. "I just can't help screwing things up can I?"
Nate shook his head. "I'm so sorry this happened." He spoke with a low voice, uncharacteristic of himself.
Blair shrugged as she took another long drag of her drink. "For what? It's not like you did this. It's my own fault for not telling Chuck I was going to see you."
"No it's not." Nate replied quietly. "It's my fault."
Blair rolled her eyes, still not really looking at Nate, rather at his reflection. "You can't blame yourself for my stupidity Nate, I chose to be at your house today and I chose not to tell Chuck, which means I have to deal with the fallout. The only other person maybe at fault would be Madison but yet again, that has nothing to do with you."
Nate shook his head. "Madison didn't have anything to do with it Blair. I did this. I invited you over and had Jenny staked out ready to take your photo as you left."
Blair's eyebrows went up as she laughed darkly. "So Nate Archibald finally has a plan that works out."
Nate ran a hand over his head. "I tried to stop it I did. I realized what I'd done and tried to get you to leave before she got there; then you hugged me on the steps. Afterwards I called her and tried to get her to delete it but she wouldn't."
"It all sure worked out well for Madison then." Sighing Blair simply took another sip of her drink. "Maybe it's better this way. Better that I know now rather than later that Chuck's never going to trust me and Madison will never be my friend." But even as she said it, one thought predominated all the others in her mind, it seemed to repeat itself over and over.I can't lose him.
Nate furrowed his brow as he spun on his stool to face Blair head on. "I'm still not getting what Madison has to do with this."
Blair was clinical as she opened her phone to the most recent gossip girl blast and passed it to Nate.
Nate's eyes shot open as he took in the photo of what appeared to be Chuck and Madison locked in a steamy kiss. "I'm sorry you found out like this." He spoke as he slid the phone back to Blair.
Blair smirked darkly. "Don't be, because I didn't. I took the photo, I sent it to Gossip Girl."
"You walked in on them." Nate finished, surprised at the pain he felt for Blair.
Nodding Blair twisted the ruby ring she wore around her finger like she always did when she was emotional - whatever that emotion might be; today it was pain. "I wanted a permanent reminder of why not to go back to him and I figured my own public humiliation was the only way to leave a scar."
Nate shook his head sadly. Partially because of the pain that Blair must be feeling to put herself through that and partially because he'd finally realized himself that she never felt that kind of pain for him. "It really was always supposed to be Chuck wasn't it." He spoke, his voice still low.
"I think so." Blair replied honestly as she looked Nate directly in the eye.
As she spoke he realized the real damage he'd done over the past few months, he just couldn't let her go, he had to have her back. He spoke his next words with conviction. "You can't give up on him."
Blair shrugged her shoulders slightly, tears sparkling in the corners of her eyes. "I don't think that's up to me."
Remembering something she'd meant to do earlier this afternoon, Blair reached into her purse and withdrew the small pin she still had. "Look, I've been meaning to give this back to you for a while and I think now is probably the right time." She spoke, holding out her hand.
Nate looked down at his pin resting in her palm and shook his head. "You don't have to give it back."
Blair nodded, an almost wistful expression on her face. "Yes I do."
Nate nodded as well. "So I guess we saw things through after all didn't we?"
"I'm always going to be your friend Nate." Blair spoke placing her hand on his briefly as she passed him the pin. "But I think that's all now."
Once more Nate found himself nodding as he got up to leave remembering Blair's words from the car ride they took the day she broke up with him; she'd figured things out so much sooner than he had. "It was never about Chuck being the right guy, or even about me being the wrong one, we just weren't right together anymore."
Smiling sadly, Blair exhaled. "My thoughts precisely Archibald."
As Nate began to walk out of the bar he almost laughed at the pair walking in. One of two things was about to happen: either they were heading upstairs to Chuck's suite which would be idiotic since they'd clearly had Madison's to themselves or they were looking for Blair.
Walking into the bar at the Palace Chuck spotted her immediately and Nate only afterwards. Sure he'd deal with Nate first but that wasn't his objective, Blair was. He can't lose her, not now not after everything.
Meeting them halfway to the door Nate looked between the two of them warily. There was still a damn good chance that Chuck might hit him. "So . . . What are you guys doing here?"
"We're here to see Blair." Madison said, her voice quieter than usual. "Well really Chuck is here to see Blair, I was just helping him look for her."
Chuck crossed his arms and noticed with surprise that Nate jumped at his movement. "I'm not going to hit you Nate." He spoke, his voice low.
Nate shrugged as though he were trying to brush it off but couldn't hold the façade. "All things considered I wouldn't be surprised."
Chuck smirked. "I know you didn't kiss her and that's what matters."
Nate nodded. "Take care of our girl okay?"
Chuck nodded. "You have my word Nate."
After speaking Chuck began to walk towards Blair but Nate called out to him. "And seriously man, call me Nathaniel."
Nate's words earned a smile from both boys. While they may not be back yet to where they once were, they both knew that one day it would happen. Madison reached over and wrapped her arm through Nate's. "Come on Mr. Archibald."
Nate nodded smiling. "Yeah I think Romeo and Juliet over there need some time to talk." He spoke as he allowed Madison to lead him out. "You think they're going to be okay." It was more a statement than a question.
Madison nodded, "Yeah, she worked too hard to get him to let one of your plans keep her from it."
As Nate nodded laughing, Madison looked up at him flirtatiously, noticing for the first time that his blue green eyes were flecked with gold. "You know what? I might just let you buy me a drink."
Surprising even himself, Nate's smile brightened. "I think I'm okay with that."
"You think?" Madison asked eyebrows raised.
Nate laughed and reached forwards, brushing a piece of hair out of her face. "Yeah I do."
As Nate brushed a piece of hair off her face all she could think was that she could do this. She felt a glimmer of something that she hadn't felt in so long, the something that she'd always said she couldn't, no she wouldn't let herself feel. And just like that, the girl who caused everyone to say "don't bother she won't fall for you she only cares about herself" felt a serious rush of emotions for one Nate Archibald.
Chuck watched Nate and Madison leave the bar with a shake of his head; who knew what those two were about to get into. But for now that was not his business. His only concern right now was Blair and he was acutely aware that he had a lot of apologizing to do.
Blair stayed quiet as Chuck took the seat Nate had recently vacated. She watched through the mirror as he signaled the bartender to get her another drink but she waved him off. "I'm good." She didn't need to be any drunker tonight and if she had many more she'd be sloppy. "So you found me." She spoke when Chuck remained silent.
"You didn't make it very difficult." He replied, facing Blair directly.
Blair shrugged and turned her head to look at him without rotating her body. "It's not like I could hide from you if you were trying to find me so I figured I might as well make things easy."
Chuck smirked at the truth of her words; he would follow her anywhere he had to. "I'm sorry."
Blair shook her head. "That's not enough and you know it."
Chuck nodded. "Don't let me ruin this Blair. I should have trusted you."
"Yes you should have." Blair spoke plainly, unimpressed. He'd arrived with Madison and with the miracle she'd managed coaching Nate on how to get her back, this display of Chuck's was thoroughly underwhelming.
Chuck shrugged. "I'm an idiot; I know I'm an idiot." Blair was already looking away again when Chuck caught her chin. "But I'm an idiot who's in love with you."
Blair's mouth fell open and for a minute she couldn't say anything, couldn't do anything but look at him. Her heart flew to her throat preventing any words from coming out as her eyes gazed directly into his, searching them for the truth.
Chuck smiled slightly, his heart beating loudly in his chest as he held her gaze. "And I can't promise you perfection, I can't promise that we won't fight, and I can't promise that we won't make mistakes. But what I can do is promise is that you're perfect for me, that I'll fight every day to keep you, and that when we make mistakes we will have the best damn make up sex in the world. I love you Blair and I know that that doesn't make up for what I've done and I understand if you need more ti-"
Chuck didn't get to finish his sentence as Blair had grabbed onto his lapels and pulled his mouth against hers with surprising strength. As she did she felt a passion surge through her like summer lightning and she could sense the answering passion in him. She kissed him deeply and without thought of what had happened that day or what would happen because regardless of what he had just said about love not making up for things, love made everything simple.
Chuck pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, feeling the wildfire attraction he always felt for her rush through his veins. Every nerve ending in his body was electrified with the passion he was feeling for her as her tongue slipped into his mouth. His hands were everywhere all at once, in her hair, along her body. He pulled her so close he lifted her onto his lap.
Blair pulled back slightly barely noticing the stares from the rest of the bars patrons. "Chuck, Chuck." She whispered between breathes to bring his attention to her face and slow his kisses. She placed her hands on either side of his face, bringing his eyes to connect with hers. "I love you too."
Blair wasn't ready for the response she received. She expected him to kiss her, to rip her clothes off in public, maybe even run away with fear. What she did not expect was the look of elation in his eyes which were sparkling with what looked to be tears. At his reaction Blair felt tears spring to her own eyes because to them they weren't just words, they were so much more. Chuck had never loved someone before her and while Nate would always be her first love, Blair knew that Chuck was the one.
Chuck couldn't control his happiness as they sat there, her still on his lap with her eyes boring into his. He could feel tears burning at the edge of his vision and though they didn't fall he knew she saw them too. She knew how important she was to him, she knew how important those words were; even more so after he'd been the first to say them. After a few minutes he spoke, bending his head down into her neck, the relief evident in his voice. "You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that."
Blair shifted upwards, knowing what she was doing as she moved her body against his. But even through the passion induced haze she connected with his eyes again. "Yes, I do." She spoke as a feeling of complete relief washed through her again. Relief that she hadn't given up everything for a man incapable of loving her back because damn it she was lost in her love for him. Yes she knew exactly what he was feeling.
Chuck brought his lips to the corner of her mouth and said softly. "Upstairs. Now."
Blair nodded and it wasn't five minutes later that they had resumed their activities in a much more private setting. "Watch the glass." She murmured into his lips as she herself stepped backwards over the broken glasses littering the ground.
Chuck smirked against her mouth that he'd known that as they began to furiously unclothe one another. Reaching the bed their lips finally met once more and Blair felt the summer lightning from before flicker all through her body, charging it, making her heart pound and her breath catch.
As Chuck tossed Blair onto the bed, climbing on top of her and running his hand up her thigh he paused for just one more minute because there was something important, something he'd forgotten to mention. "Madison had nothing to do with the blast."
Blair's eyebrows rose as she lay beneath Chuck in nothing but her La Perla's. "You're thinking of Madison at a time like this."
Chuck's brow furrowed as he half glared at her. "I'm serious. I just don't want you taking this all out on her."
Blair smiled slightly continuing to rub herself against him even in the midst of their conversation. "I know she didn't do it."
Chuck nodded and continued. "It's true she's actually the one who made me see reason . . ." He started before he realized what Blair had said. "Wait you knew?"
Blair smirked and rolled her eyes as she divested his shirt of its buttons. "Yes, Nate informed me that it was Jenny Humphrey who took the video, as for her helping you see the truth I suspected as much when you walked into the bar together."
Chuck's nostril's flared. "Little Jenny Humphrey? Didn't think she had it in her." He said with disgust.
Blair shook her head. "Neither did I until recently. It appears she might be a worthy adversary."
Chuck smirked. "One we'll crush when the time is right."
Blair returned his smirk as she ran a hand lightly down his chest to finger his belt. "Yes, we will."
Chuck felt himself begin to lose control of his restrained passion once more but he had one more point he wanted to mention with Blair before things became too heated and he forgot. "As for adversary's, it appears that Nate might be Madison's next conquest."
Blair smiled lightly. "I don't know about that."
Chuck snorted reaching forwards with one hand to graze her face. "You should have seen her at the bar, she's definitely targeted him."
Blair's smile turned into a knowing smirk as Chuck traced the line of her jaw. "Oh I know, I'm just thinking that our darling Madison might finally be ready for an actually relationship."
At first Chuck's eyebrows rose surprised but the more the thought about it, the more he thought Blair had a point. "Touché." He said throatily.
Blair smiled once more as she lifted her head slightly, bringing her lips closer to his own. "Now enough about everyone else I want to talk about us, or rather not talk."
Chuck smirked as he brought his lips to hers one more time starting gently before allowing it to escalate rapidly to something much less gentle. Pulling back one last time before he lost himself in passion Chuck spoke his voice a low rumble. "Not to violate your no talking rule but I can't stop thinking it so I wanted to say it one more time. I love you Blair Waldorf."
"And I love you Chuck Bass." Blair smiled as she kissed him deeply before pulling back only slightly. "And for the record you can say it as often as you like."
Hungrily grabbing her lips with his own Chuck made little work of the rest of Blair's lingerie and she of his pants all the while whispering 'I love you's." When they had finished and Blair was laying against his chest asleep, her soft curls running through his fingers, Chuck couldn't help but sigh contentedly because for the first time in his life he felt as though everything was just how it should be and he was happy.
Gossip Girl here for one last post of the night. It appears that the day is done and all wrongs have been righted as our Dark Prince swept our Queen B off her feet once more. But while this fairy tale comes to a close one more might be beginning as a Princess in training, M, appears to have snagged our former King N. So as the UES falls asleep, I warn one Little J that while Brooklyn may be outside Royalty's realm it is not outside of their reach, may your dreams be merry because I believe your reality is about to become a nightmare; that is if C, B, M and N have anything to say about it. Sweet dreams and happy plotting.
you know you love me
So there it is. Completed! Let me know how you felt about it and if you want an epilogue. I haven't written one yet and I do like this ending as it is but if there's actual interest in an epilogue I'm sure I could think of something. Either way, it's been a great run – I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
Reviews are appreciated, adored, and loved!
xoxo - kate