Title: Shattered

Rating: M

Summary: AU… What if Shelley Pomroy's party had much larger repercussions? Begins pre-series

Spoilers: Eventually all 3 seasons

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


She stood in the bathroom of her apartment, staring at the reflection in the mirror. She stared at the eyeliner and mascara mess that ran down the pale cheeks in tearstained rivulets. At the tangled and knotted blonde tresses that had been styled into soft waves only the night before. At the broken strap of the pure white dress that hung off one trembling shoulder.

The girl in the mirror was not Veronica Mars. Veronica was usually described by people as being sweet, kind, and even a little naïve. Or at least they used to say that. Now most people simply call her a traitorous slut. But the girl looking back at her was none of these things. She was nothing, barely a shadow of a person.

With shaking hands, Veronica removed all the jewelry she had been wearing and haphazardly dumped them on top of the toilet tank, not even caring when she saw the necklace Lilly had given her fall to the floor. Then she unzipped the side of her dress, allowing it to slide down her body. She stepped into the shower and turned on the water as hot as she could. Closing her eyes, she began to scrub with the scalding water. Her feet, which had been covered in dirt from her walk home, were slowly cleaned by the gathering water. She watched as the dirty water trailed across the white porcelain until it swirled down the drain.

Veronica scrubbed every inch of herself until the water turned cold. She wrapped herself in a towel and collected everything from the bathroom. Walking to her room, she saw that her father was still not home. He was currently chasing another bail jumper, the third one this month. They needed the money, not only to pay for the apartment they had been forced to move into, but also for the space her father was planning on renting for his new detective agency. She was glad that he was not here. That he had not seen her like this. It would have broken him, and seeing him hurt would have completely shredded the tenuous hold she currently had on herself.

She dropped the dress in a dark corner of her closet and quickly pulled out an old pair of pajamas to wear. Sitting down on her pink bed, she stared at the pattern of purple kittens that ran up her pant legs. The last time she had worn these pajamas was before Lilly died. She had slept over at the Kane mansion and they spent all night giggling and gossiping. They had talked about school, Logan, Duncan, and all their other friends. The same friends who had all been at Shelley's party last night. One of those friends who had…

She did not even want to think the word again. She had said it once so far, when she told Lamb about what had happened. He laughed at her and told her, "Go see the wizard. Ask for a little backbone." She had not allowed herself to think about it again. After she left the station, she made sure to focus all her attention on getting herself home. Then she concentrated on the shower, and how it felt like each drop of water scorched her skin. The pain kept her thoughts at bay.

Now there was nothing to stop her from thinking about it. She knew that the drink that had been handed to her must have been roofied. It was the only explanation for the gaping black hole between her stumbling to a lounge chair and waking up in a bedroom with her underwear on the floor. It was also the reason she did not know which one of them did it.

Veronica felt the tears streaming down her face and she quickly brushed them away. She did not want to cry anymore. She could feel all the hurt, anger, sadness, and confusion churning within her. This was not supposed to have happened to her. They were not supposed to have done this to her. These were her friends. They all grew up together. She knew most of the '09ers only were friends with her because of Lilly, but now they treated her as if she was some sort of disease. They talked about her behind her back, and sometimes in front of her face. They hurled spitballs and crumbled paper at her. They wrote nasty messages on her car and locker. Now one of them had hurt her. Severely hurt her.

They were trying to break her.

And they were winning.


A/N: Please review if you think this is worth continuing