A/N: I'm late, I'm late, and I'm late. But I suddenly felt some inspiration from the latest Hitman Reborn chapter (when doesn't make sense considering the content) and I figured: after how many years of this fanfiction and there's still no romance. I'm like screw it. Here. Actual relationship progress, even if you can barely see it. And Sasha sort of takes over part of the chapter. My humor abilities have been killed off, and I think the rest of the story will be more serious just because of that. It's more character-centered than plot centered, but you find out why Filai was jailed.
To Squalo's dismay, Filai insisted on bringing Sasha back with them. "He's tough, isn't he?" She reasoned, tugging on her brother's arm as if he was a pet on a leash. "I don't know just how bad this whole Millfiore thing is, but just in case, it's good to have him around." Think of him as something useful we dug up from the ruins, like an expensive HD television that kills things.
"I object to that comparison." Sasha protested. "I'm a pacifist after all. I'd much rather be a T.V. that just knocks people out gently."
"Voi," Squalo hissed. "She just compared you to a T.V. and you whine about that?"
"Well, to be fair, she did say it was expensive. And HD." He said reasonably. "Just think of the joy an HD TV screen can give people-" He was cut short and Squalo kicked him in the back, falling face flat onto the ground. "Please don't break my spine." He continued, albeit with his voice muffled by the snow.
"I'll do more than break your spine if you don't stop acting like a fucking dipshit!"
Filai shot them a wry look as she stepped through the rubble that was the mansion exit. "If you wonderful gentlemen" pea-brained, shit specimen of humanity "are done, I'd like to get out of this area as soon as possible, thanks."
"Filia, that language of yours is troubling me."
And what are you going to do about it, wash my tongue with soap?
"No, perhaps," He smiled disarmingly "Rip it out instead?"
Filai merely rolled her eyes. Squalo stared at him. "Voi, I thought you said you were a fucking pacifist."
"Well, to be more specific," He amended. "I'm against killing people. I believe that as long as a person is alive, he or she can find happiness. Even if said person is missing something vital, like a limb, or a tongue. Well, a tongue really isn't vital. But you know what I mean."
Squalo turned on Filai. "Just one non-fucking lunatic from your family." He hissed. "That's ALL I'm asking for."
"What are you looking at me for?" You hypocrite. As if you Varia assholes are any better. You just threatened to break his spine. "And didn't he creep you out when he was being nice?" Unsatisfiable bastard, aren't you?
Tension was running high on the way back to the Varia HQ. Or, Squalo and Filai were running it high and Sasha was being happy and occasionally avoiding Squalo's sporadic attempts on his life. It only took a few hours of acquaintanceship for Squalo to make something a hobby out of trying to kill Sasha. Filai, who believed that S+M was the finest basis a relationship could have, decided that they were getting along remarkably. Or maybe not, since Squalo just nearly threw her brother off a cliff, but in any case it would make a good video to post on youtube.
"You're enjoying this." Squalo said in disbelief.
Perhaps. Filai was content. "After all, watching you suffer is my greatest joy." She gave him a deadpan thumbs up. "It's a sign of my love, you see."
At that, Squalo looked like he couldn't decide whether to be pissed or oddly pleased. How was he supposed to respond to that anyway, 'thanks, I like watching you suffer too?' Oh wait, he did. So he settled for grumbling a little and whacking her in the back of the head.
Xanxus was in a bad mood.
And then that became worse when Alexander Primavera Viavideche stood in front of him, practically beaming as he said "You look tired. Do you need a hug?" A pause. "Oh, that wasn't an offer though. Sorry, you look too scary for me to hug. I can probably hire a kamikaze bomber or something if you really need it."
That was when Xanxus uprooted his desk and threw it at Sasha (and Squalo had even nailed the damn thing to the floor so he wouldn't do that). Sasha blinked before the desk came crashing onto him.
"Ouch." He said under the desk.
"WHAT IS THIS FUCKING TRASH DOING HERE?" Xanxus bellowed to Filai, who was standing at the side of the room.
She winced. "Well, uh," I heard you liked HD televisions. "And I also heard the Vongola had Millifiore problems. So Sasha's sort of from the mortal enemy of the Vongola. But so am I, and I think I turned out alright-"
"Though you do swear too much." Sasha added, still under the desk.
"Shut up, Sasha." And will you get that fucking desk off? You look like an idiot talking like that.
"Oh, forgot about that." With much strength, Sasha kicked the desk right off. Too much strength, maybe, because the desk went hurling into the air.
Right at Xanxus.
Filai facepalmed. This isn't going to be nice.
Xanxus destroyed his entire office. It was his seventh one this month.
But after much groveling, and her promising to take over Xanxus' paperwork duties for two months (which didn't make sense because she already WAS doing his paperwork; he must've been too drunk to remember), Filai convinced her terrorizing boss to let her brother stay for a bit. After all, the Varia mansion was large, not like they didn't have the room.
Squalo looked up as Filai dropped down on the couch next to him."I'm tired."
He rolled his eyes. "There's coffee in the kitchen."
She spun on him. Squalo, you should marry me. Now.
Squalo nearly choked, and angrily shoved her off the couch.
When Filai returned with her coffee, she found Squalo in deep thought. Strange, she never knew he was even capable of looking like he was thinking at all, let alone actually contemplating something. "Is there something wrong?"
"He doesn't look like he's related to you." He said.
And it took you that long to figure that out? Honestly, sometimes I don't know if you're blind or just stupid. She ignored Squalo shooting her a glare as she continued. "Anyway, we're only half-siblings. Different mother. I'm pretty sure he looks like his mom, while I" unfortunately "take after our..." shit excuse for a "paternal parent. It's a sad world, isn't it?"
"What the fuck," Squalo sneered. "Your old man gets around."
Just when Filai was about to answer, Bel burst into the room, grinning gleefully. "Shishishi, your brother's entertaining." He told Filai. "The prince approves of him."
"Wonderful, and should we be expecting a happy announcement any time soon?" I recommend Tiffany's diamond. She narrowly avoided being sliced into pieces.
As Filai and Bel engaged in another of their grisly verbal matches, Squalo's mind went back to Sasha vs. Filai. As humiliating as the thought was, he had to admit, in the looks department Sasha won out so badly it was almost unfair. He was virtually the textbook example of tall, dark, and handsome, and that weird nice personality of his didn't exactly hurt his chances with women either.
Filai, on the other hand was more the kind who could go either way, depending on her level of hygiene. She could be quite something if she combed herself up a little, which she rarely did. And she did age nicely, which was impressive considering her living style for the past ten years; her face had a bit higher cheekbones than ten years before, and her legs had become longer, only a little, barely noticeable dammit, and oh god Squalo was starting to feel like a creep. Why was he thinking about this shit he had to stop thinking about this shit-
"Are you alright?" Filai asked with raised eyebrows as Squalo banged his head on the coffee table.
He needed a drink.
After convincing Squalo to not get shitfaced over whatever reason was screwing him over, Filai had the most brilliant idea. So somehow she got thrown into the Vendicare for ten years, and she didn't know why, and of course she wanted to know why. And what better person to ask than Sasha. He was after all, FROM that annoying Viavideche family after all. The successor to the Boss position, even.
Filai spent the better part of the afternoon prowling the mansion for Sasha. She found him walking out of Xanxus' new office, a little worse for the wear but alive and unharmed nonetheless. "What were you doing in there?" She asked warily.
"Some business." He said, dusting off his jacket. "Information exchange, mostly. He can actually be quite an efficient boss if he puts his anger aside for a while."
"I don't believe you." Filai said bluntly.
"Well, I can't quite blame you for that." He heaved a weary sigh. looking around the large hall. "Can we go sit down somewhere? I'm feeling tired, since we're in dying will flame territory."
Now that he mentioned it, Sasha wasn't as used to dying will flame exposure as she was. He had spent his life in Viavideche territory, which meant even the smallest concentration of flames in the air could wear him out.
"Our illusionist Fran put some sort of protective barrier around me." Filai said as they walked towards the nearest drawer room. "I'll see if he can do the same for you."
They settled down in a small room, and Filai let her brother catch his breathe before saying "So I had something to ask you about."
"Is this about how you came to be in the Vendicare?" He asked tiredly.
How did you know that?
"I was going to tell you anyway." He hiked a thumb up. "We're siblings, after all. Even if you don't want a hug."
Filai twitched. "Are you STILL hung up on that?"
"Those Korean dramas made it look nice." Sasha said wistfully, before sobering. "Anyway, there were some complications involving your imprisonment. But after some private research, I figured out the basics. You know someone called Mukuro Rokudo, correct?" Filai nodded, and he asked. "And you hatched a plan with him to leak information of the Viavideche's illegal activities to the Vendicare."
She gave him an incredulous look. "How do you find this stuff out?"
"Years of investigation." He retorted. "The material Mukuro released to the Vendicare carried some scandalous material concerning their involvement in funding illegal experiments. Especially collaborations with the Estraneo. It broke inter-family Mafia treaties left and right. It was a mass outrage. The Viavideche family would've lost all its allies if-"
"-they had any to begin with." Filai said dryly. Amiable family as ever, I see.
"So the Vendicare was about to show up and arrest Father. And Father was always quick in action." He shrugged, though his tone was a little funny sounding. "He devised a way to keep himself out of prison." Pause. "He basically put all blame on you."
And holy shit is that the MOST shameless thing I've ever heard. "Is that even possible?" Filai demanded. "If nobody's noticed, I haven't exactly been alive long enough to coordinate this giant illegal experiment funding. Mukuro's only two years younger than me, you know."
"But not many people even know you exist." Sasha reminded her. "You were, forgive me for saying, considered unimportant in the family. Aside from the servants who took care of you, you were off the radar. But it's easy to prove you exist. Enough people know that to confirm it. But hardly anyone has personal data on you. Father could make up your age to suit his needs. It's common knowledge that Viavideche members age slowly, so your appearance didn't help things at all. And you were just there, unconscious, right inside the HQ manor and up for grabs. It was too easy for him to have the Vendicare arrest you instead."
So Mukuro's plan backfired her, in the most splendid fashion conceivable. That. Utter. Bastard. Even if it wasn't his fault entirely, she still wanted to punch him in the face.
Sasha gently put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't help at that time. I was out of the country when I heard about it."
"You couldn't have done anything either way." Useless cretin. Filai said loftily. "If you're going to become all self-loathing on me, I will deem you too ridiculous to talk to and leave you to your misery."
Taking that as her way of comforting him (hmph, the delusional fool), Sasha smiled and to her protests, pulled her into a tight hug. "It's good to finally see you, Filia."
Filai scowled, but put up with it for the sake of the sentimental idiot. "You could've turned out worse."
He released her and stood up. "I think I'll be taking a nap now." He said, stretching a little like a cat in the sunlight. "We're on the same floor. I'm there if you need me for anything."
Just as he was about the leave the room, Filai called after him. "Wait a moment." He stopped, looking at her questioningly. "Are you alright?"
"What do you mean?"
"He died, you know." She said. "Your father."
Sasha was silent, and the smile slide from his face. "Our father." He spoke slowly, as if the words weren't something she could understand. The smile returned, but only barely. "We're siblings, aren't we?"
"No, your father." Filai said. "Figuratively speaking of course. Because I have my own family, insane as they are, and to an extent...I still do have a...mother." Wherever she is at the moment. "But you have your dad." Even if he was a total bitch to me.
Chuckling a little, Sasha stared down at the floor, a distant look in his eyes. They shared the same eye color. It was the only thing they shared, but it was something distinctive, something that a stranger could look at and, even with their different appearances and expressions and habits, he could know without doubt that yes, these two were brother and sister.
"You know what I think life is about," He said finally. "It's cyclical. You find something that makes you happy, and then you lose it. You cry a little, mope a little. And then you get over it. You keep the memories, but you dry your tears and move on. It's a big world. There are a lot of things to see." Sasha trailed off, and then looked embarrassed. "Sorry, that was..."
"Positively saccharine." Filai agreed. "But not wrong. Are you going to go cry?"
Sasha gave her an almost amused look. "Maybe, maybe not. Either way, it's not very manly, is it?"
Manliness isn't a 24/7 thing. Everyone needs breaks. Even men. Filai pulled out her biology book for some reading. "Tear glands exist for a reason." Just don't do it in front of Lussuria. He'll put a new meaning to "taking you home with him".
Right outside in the hallway, Sasha passed by Squalo, who was trying and failing to appear as though he was just passing by. "Eavesdropping isn't the ideal habit." He told the assassin, who simply scowled. "Good afternoon to you too, Squalo."
"Go rot in a fucking hole."
Taken aback, Sasha tried to answer reasonably "Uh, that's an extreme request..."
Squalo flipped him the bird.
In turn, Filai also found Squalo outside in the hallway a few hours later. Again, he seemed to be in deep thought. It's obviously a productive day for Squalo's brain. As usual, he glared when he saw her, and Filai shifted her book under her arm. "Is something wrong...again?"
"Voi, answer me honestly." Squalo said. "Have I ever hugged you before?"
Filai really wanted to make a sarcastic comment, but noticing Squalo's unusually brooding behavior, reluctantly sifted through her memories. "No, not really. Unless you count grabbing me and throwing me, and injuring me in the process. But that's not what you mean, is it?"
Oh. Then, no. "Something the matter?"
A moment of silence.
"You piss me off." Squalo said.
"And what else is new-"
"But it's not always a bad thing. I guess."
And before Filai could ask what exactly he meant by that, Squalo leaned over and clumsily pressed a quick kiss against the crown of her head.
When he withdrew, he glared at her, as if daring her to make a snide comment. Instead, Filai blinked, and patted her head experimentally. "I didn't expect that." Was all she said.
Squalo glared some more, feeling very self-conscious all of a sudden And that was just shit because Superbia Squalo did not feel self-conscious like a goddamn teenage girl, especially in front of a piece of trash that he had known for almost twenty years. "Voi, what's your fucking problem?"
Filai thought about it. "No," She said finally. "It's not...a bad thing either, I suppose." And she offered him an awkward smile, and suddenly Squalo felt less self-conscious and more like he had probably been killed in the middle of a fight and had gone...well, if there was a heaven, he wasn't going be there. But if this were hell, he decided it wasn't all that bad. Even if those burning eternal fires were going to pop up anytime soon, at the very least-
OH GOD, WHAT WAS HE THINKING?
"I am going to sleep." He snapped, before adding for good measure. "Go die in a ditch. Asshole. Yeah, die, DIE I SAID." He yelled over his shoulder as he stormed off in a quick retreat.
Filai watched him disappear with an eyebrow raised. What a tactless guy. She rubbed her head again, frowning thoughtfully. Well, it turned out alright in the end. With that, she yawned and went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.
A/N: Sasha's more of a nice guy with a really bad/violent sense of humor. Still better than the rest of his family though. Squalo is out of character, but I can't do much about Squalo and romance and in-character.