Pain, fear, release. Those were the words that applied to me at this moment. The moment I knew I was leaving. I strained to look over at the stack of envelopes on the desk next to my bed, and sighed. Each one held very important information; my love.
I know Mom wanted me home tonight, but I didn't like it. It was almost an unreasonable request with Macy so close to…
That's when I heard a car pull up the driveway, and I looked out the window to see it was Stella's car.
"Macy, sweetie?" Dr. Carter's voice cracked with pain. "Can you hear me?" I could hear her, but I chose not to respond. Well, I guess my body chose for me. "Oh, Macy."
Her voice was in a sob now, and then I heard retreating foot steps. I heard some more murmuring and then another sob.
Something was wrong; Stella never drove that slow unless Macy was in the car. And Macy was most definitely not in the car with her.
I could see her walk very slowly to our door, and I saw tears upon her cheeks. Please; no.
"Macy!" Her familiar hands were on my face, begging me to wake up.
"Stop," Dr. Carter's stern voice said, "You'll hurt her."
She knocked on the door. What was she doing?
"Oh, hello Stella," My mother's cheerful voice greeted, and I froze where I was because the first word's out of her mouth were, "Where's Joe?"
"Don't leave Macy," The voice cooed. "Hold on baby, just hold on."
"You guys need to leave," Carter said again.
"Yes, know get out," There were tears in her voice. "Get out," She demanded.
"Joe?" Stella asked carefully as she walked towards my bed. "How are you?" She asks sweetly as she sits next to me.
"You know, I was going to marry her one day?" I ask bluntly. My mind was blank, and I couldn't function it correctly. She's gone.
"Yes," She whispers, her voice breaking.
"You have to save her!"
"I'm trying!" There were four doctors around me, pushing my chest and putting an air mask on my face. But I knew…it was no use. I barley had enough energy to open my eyes and turn my head to my mother and father's crying faces.
"She's gone isn't she?" I ask through my thick voice and blinding tears.
"It wasn't long enough," I whispered before collapsing.
"Macy!" My mother yelled. My father put his arms around her and mouthed another apology to me. I slowly reached my hand out to them, and they reached back.
"Love you," I whispered. They nodded and said they loved me too. "Goodbye." I let my eyes drop, and I barley felt my hand hit the mattress.
I'm not too sure what to say. I guess that's the hardest part of all this; we don't know what to say.
At her funeral everyone wore white dresses and suits, except Joe; he wore caramel.
He was chosen to get up and say a few things, but when he stood up beside Macy's casket he couldn't do it.
I wish I would have told you everything sooner. No hesitation, no doubts, no fear. That would have made things easier, better, between us. I think.
Her father hugged and thanked him while his mother cried and apologized so many times.
"Here," her mother said as she handed him Macy's #1 charm. "You deserve this." She placed the charm in his hand and he clutched it in his hand, but didn't say a word.
He never actually talked to her parents again.
I know you said you couldn't move on, but you will. You're going to fall in love, wondering what in the world you saw in me.
He met her at a sports game, baseball actually, six years after Macy left. Ironic huh? She laughs at his jokes and always picks his side whenever he has an argument with his brothers.
She finds out about Macy when she finds his pictures of her under there bed, but she doesn't yell at him like he thought. She cries with him, and he tells her everything. At least now she knows that though she was wonderful for him; she would never quite be number one.
I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I can't say this in person, but mostly I'm sorry I'm leaving. I wish I could stay and hold on to you and whisper that everything is going to be okay. But this is isn't any kind of living, and I'm so tired.
They get married, and have two beautiful children that he loves very much. But even that doesn't keep away the pain.
He goes to her grave every year on her birthday and places flowers on her grave. Every once in awhile he'll see Stella there and they will talk for a few hours.
Once he asked what her letter from Macy said, but Stella wouldn't say.
"She loved you Joe, so much," Is all she simply says before walking to her car that had another figure patiently waiting inside.
You're an amazing person Joe. I wish I could see what kind of person you'll turn out to be. I hope you'll be kind and a real gentleman. You will not be bitter because of this experience; you will be stronger. Trust me.
His oldest child, Marie, was the first out of the two kids that his father was still in love with someone else.
"You have to understand," He tells his fourteen year old daughter, "That I love your mother very much Marie."
"I know Daddy, I know," She walks around the counter and engulfs him in a much needed hug. "What's this?" She asks, pulling away and fingering the charm on his necklace that had poked her head.
"That's her charm," He says proudly, grabbing the charm back and bring it closer to his eyes.
"What was her name?"
"Macy," He says hesitantly before continuing, "Macy Marie Misa. And, before you ask, no I didn't choose Marie for you."
"Who did?" She asks after the shock wears off and the surprise in her eyes light up.
This is it, my end. The end of my beautiful journey, but I'm so glad you were there to share it with me. Please don't forget me. I can be the first girl you thought you loved or whatever, but please don't forget.
"Can I see a picture of her?" His younger daughter, Christin, asks one sunny day. No one has to say who 'she' is, they all know. All four of them.
"Sure," He says and he walks back into the bedroom and pulls out the box he had labeled so long ago.
They laugh at the pictures of Joe and Macy running around the stores and being silly teenagers.
"She was beautiful," his wife says and he grabs her by the waist and kisses the side of her head.
I love you Joe. I know you love me. But even love has to end.
Eventually things calm down, and the pictures go in the closet. He would only visit her every two or so years. And the charm was passed along to Marie.
But that letter; the one she wrote on her death bed, in her handwriting with the last bit of energy she had, was hanging up in a frame right beside the door in his room.
You're beautiful Joe. And I can't say it enough, I love you. I will always be here Joe. Pass along my love, and I guess I'll se you on the other side.
His wife got to see her before he did, which is weird because wasn't it usual that the man goes first? She was eighty-six and ready to leave.
By the time the funeral was over he knew he had seen one too many. There was a dull ache in his heart, and he cried for hours when got home. But he still had his little girls.
And her letter.
Marie gives him her charm back, claiming it didn't feel right on her, but it looked perfect on her dad.
It had been years, but he goes back to the cemetery. Not the one his wife was buried in, no, Macy was on the other side of town.
"You lied," He whispers when he sits across from her grave. "You said love died. Love doesn't die, people do."
"He can almost hear her voice whispering back. He knows he's only imagining it, but he still knows exactly what Macy would say.
I lied? Her beautiful voice would be crinkled in concern over her fib, and concern would be etched on her face of fear that he was mad at her.
"How could you think that I would ever forget you?" He wonders quietly.
I'm not very memorable.
"Yes, you are." He probably sounded crazy, but he didn't care.
"I did what you said I should. I didn't turn out bitter or rude, and I stayed a gentleman. I married a wonderful woman named Lisa and we had two amazing children; Marie and Christin. Sometimes I wish that you would have told me everything sooner, that way he would have more good times, but…At the same time that would have only made things that much harder.
You were right about one thing Macy. Everything turned out perfectly okay. I guess I will be seeing you soon." He places a flower on her grave as he had done so many times a long time ago, and then he kissed his fingers and brushed it over Macy's name. That's when all the tears come back, and every single memory flooded through his mind.
"Macy?" I whispered, "Won't you tell me?"
"No" Macy told me. "It hurts." She placed her head in her hands, and I placed a hand on her shoulder.
"What? What hurts?"
The pain shook through me, along with another memory.
"How long?" She looked up to me and met my eyes.
"Longer than they thought." But for some reason, I got the feeling she was lying.
Oh, what he would have done then if he had just gone with his instinct. He would have taken her out much sooner, and hung out with her much more. And told her he loved her much sooner. Then a memory he was much fonder of seeped into his mind.
Our lips met for a fraction of a second, then she pulled away realizing what she did. I wouldn't have that though, so I met our lips again. Sparks were everywhere, all the way down to my toes, and I don't think I had been happier in my life. We stayed like that for longer than we should have if we wanted this to be labeled a simple kiss, but the truth is it wasn't.
"I love you too, Macy." He got up slowly and walked back to his house, just around the block.
"My father was an amazing man, and I was so lucky to have him as a dad-," Christin stops when the tears flowing from her eyes become too much, and she steps down and runs to Marie's side.
After nearly everyone had left, except for his two daughters and his remaining brother and his wife, they all walked together to the casket.
"He always hated funerals," Nick commented, stroking Joe's cold hand. Stella, his wife, merely nodded beside him.
"You know he told me once that he would take Macy to the grave," Stella said, glancing at the other people beside her.
"And he did," Marie's broken voice said.
"Did he?" Nick asked curiously.
"Yeah, really look at him," Christin said, pulling Joe's shirt down just a little, exposing a golden charm.
"Oh," Stella gasped, and her hand tugged on Nick's. "Look, its Macy's."
"And her letter," Nick said when he noticed the folded piece of parchment in Joe's other hand.
"He loved my mother," Marie started. "But Macy…that was cruel."
"Everyone," Marie whispered.
"You know, this world…it's not really that bad a place," Stella said to the girls.
"I know," Christin whispered. "I just hope Daddy's happy, because he deserves it. He's lost so much."
"He's where he needs to be now," Nick said. "Come on, let's go."
P.S. I'll wait for you
The End. Hope you guys enjoyed this! Or not…it was pretty depressing, but hey you can make it to were they meet in heaven and live happily ever after there….whatever your creative little minds want (: And sorry for all the mistakes, well if there was any. I'm pretty positive there was. Please leave all final notes about the story...if you want (:
If anyone noticed there are so many Rascal Flatts songs in this story…wow. Oh and there is, I think, one or two Honor Society songs as well.