A/N: Hello again my fellow fanpires! Yes, it's me again so late. I feel like I didn't give you enough in the last chapter, so here's another one to satisfy your need for literature. I've been very complicated lately. Last week I had testing, so I couldn't write AT ALL. And I've been having some MAJOR writer's block. Oh, and this is completely random but I feel so special, my writing teacher complimented me the other day on how well my essay was, and I was sooo happy. I have a lot of practice, I told her. :) It's not every day you get a compliment from an adult. It really means a lot to me that she would say that. I see that I got new fans for this story and that makes me very happy. Especially since I haven't been writing a lot, I think I got rusty for a while but my writing teacher put me back on track with three essay assignments every week. It makes me restless, yes. But at least I'm getting better. I really don't feel comfortable adults reading my work sometimes, because they might think, "Oh, she has no experience." But with my writing teacher, it's different. She really loves that I'm so enthusiastic about writing and literature. Actually, she chose me to do a monologue for this school competition we have-Everyone thinks I'm very dramatic. It's like I was born to be a writer or an actress. Anyway, I just wanted to share that with you guys, because it really means a lot to me. And I've gotten many compliments-my favorite was the one that someone said I wrote kind of like Stephenie Meyer and that made me very, very happy-about my writing on this story. Anyway, enough with me, let's get on to the Blondie-joke-goodness! Oh, and by the way, Bella knows some of the name's of the werewolves, like Leah, Paul, Embry, and Quil. Let's just say she met them during twilight.

Oh, here's the disclaimer:

Me: I own Twilight!

Rosalie: No you don't

Me: Yes I do!

Vampire Kitty (AKA my BFF Natalia): Yes she does! *Pokes Rosalie with a stick*

Rosalie: You don't own twilight!

*Damon Salvatore enters the room*

Me: *Puts on a sad face* Damon, Rosalie's being mean to me and saying I don't own twilight…

Damon: *Walks over to me and puts an arm around my shoulder* What do you want me to do about it?

Me: I don't know, just do something!

Damon: *He cursed in Italian under his breath and then he turned to Rosalie* What's your deal?

Vampire Kitty: Her deal is that she's a hateful witch and doesn't care about anyone but herself.

Rosalie: Shut up, freak.

Me: Don't talk to my BFF like that!

Rosalie: Make. Me.

Vampire Kitty: Oh no you didn't!

Damon: *shaking his head at us* And so it begins…

Rosalie: Yes. I did. Now, tell them you don't own twilight!

Damon: Who are you to talk about my inamorata like that?

Rosalie: I'm Rosalie Hale.

Damon: *growls* Listen, veggie. I don't know what the hell is your problem, but you better get out of here right now before I tear you to shreds.

Vampire Kitty: Fo show!

Me: *sticks her tongue out at Rosalie* *In a sing song voice* You're a loser, 'cause you're a vegan…

Rosalie: *smirks* Tanya…

Me: Oh, please! Dear God! Nooo!!!

*Tanya comes into the room*

Me: *Grabs a bottle of holy water and throws water at Tanya* The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!...Dear God, why isn't she melting?!

Tanya: *Sneers* Tell them you don't own twilight, and I'll leave.

Me: Fine, Fine! I don't own Twilight! Just leave! *runs behind Damon*

*Tanya and Rosalie both strutted out of the room, satisfied*

Vampire Kitty: Talk about a bitchy pair…

:)

Chapter 24: Wolves Return Part II: Blonde Jokes Part 1 of 2

BPOV

"What did you just say, Seth?" Sam growled.

"I said that Jacob would make a better leader, because he actually has leadership running in his blood." Seth answered quietly.

"I think so too." Leah, Seth's older sister, said.

Quil looked hesitant put after a while, he finally gathered up the courage to say, "Me too."

"Me three," Embry agreed. The four of them strode over to where Jacob was standing, in front of me.

"Ugh, I can't believe I'm actually protecting vampires." Leah muttered under her breath. I frowned.

"It's still five against eleven." Sam said, "You're not going to stop us."

I heard some murmurs go through the pack. Sam looked at them suspiciously. I saw at least four of them come up to Sam and say, "I think we should believe them. Why are we going to kill a human life when there is no supernatural threat?"

"There is a supernatural threat!" Sam shouted. "Do you expect me to believe their lies?"

"Maybe they're not lying." Seth said. (A/N: Go team Seth! lol.)

"We don't know that." Sam argued.

"You can trust us." Carlisle spoke up.

"Trust leeches?" Sam snorted. "I don't think so."

"Sam, you really have to give them a chance. What if they're telling the truth? And you're okay with the fact that you just murdered a human for no reason?" Jacob argued.

I felt someone behind me take my hand and made me walk backwards slowly.

"What-?" I started to ask, but someone covered my mouth with their hand.

"Shhh." Esme said in my ear. "A fight is going to start. Edward told me to get you out of there."

To be Continued…

A/N: sorry, I wanted to leave it of there. I know it's super short, but at least it's something. I'm going to start writing the second part of this after I post this up.

I have some questions for all of you:

Do you watch Vampire Diaries?

Do you like it?

What is your favorite band?

Okay, completely random questions, but answer them. I want to know.

My answers:

Yes.

Hell yes.

Paramore! Have you heard their new song Ignorance? It's amazing. *cries* Paramore isn't on the new moon soundtrack! Oh, I got the midnight release tickets! YAY!!!!

Anyway, the reason I split "Blonde Jokes" is because I knew I wouldn't finish this chapter any time soon, so I felt kinda bad that I haven't been updating as usual, so I decided to spilt it. Actually, this was supposed to be a part of the Wolves Return Part I, but I needed to put that chapter up as soon as possible, so I didn't have the time to write it.

:D

I promise Jake making fun of Rosalie will come in the next part.

Tell me if you've heard these or if they're funny:

Why do blondes always smile when it lightning outside?

They think they're picture is being taken.

Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?

She wanted to make up her mind.

lol. I thought those were funny.

BTW, kudos to Only If You Wish it, for the Damon/Elena goodness that I crave so much that some therapists say it's unhealthy. You're the one that keeps me writing. Oh, and my wonderful fans. When was the last time I thanked someone? Wow, have I been growing selfish. Okay then, so thank you fans. Thanks Only if you Wish It. Thanks Natalia. Thanks my writing teacher. Thanks L.J. Smith and Stephenie Meyer for both coming up with such fantastic series. Thanks to…thanks to Rosalie, for being a blonde who can be made fun of. Sorry blondes! I'm half-brunette half-blonde, so I'm not a blonde discriminator! I just like making fun of Rosalie, that's all. Actually, I was reading new moon the other day and I was like, what the hell Rosalie? You want your brother to commit suicide. F*** you. lol. I was really pissed off at her. Wow, I need to go to a therapist. I'm angry at a fictional character, what's wrong with me? lol.

Until next time,

Au revoir!

Ciao!

Adios!

Bye!

-Alice:)