I laid down on my bed for hours, just staring at the ceiling. That gave Edward enough time to eat something, finish his laundry and right now he was in the shower. Finally, I decided to go over to Alice's dorm. She was the only one that could help me. She knew Edward better than anyone else, even more than me. And most of all, Edward wasn't mad at her.
It took three knocks for her to open the door. When she opened the door, she only opened it to the point where only my arm could go through. Her eyes peeked out, glaring at me. Which only meant one thing. She knew.
"Alice," I said, my hand on the door, just in case she would try to close it. "Just hear me out. Please." She took a minute to think about it, then sighed, opening the door and inviting me in. "Thank you."
"Why the hell did you do that, Bella?" she asked. "You hurt my brother, and me."
"I know I did," I told her. "I'm truly sorry Alice. So sorry."
"Why?" she demanded, hitting her hand on the table for emphasize. "Bella, Edward really liked you. I know you guys have only been going out for two weeks or so, but he really liked you Bella. You have no idea how much he cared for you. But you tore him apart. Especially when you lied to him!"
"Alice," I whispered. "Just listen to me." Tears were threatening to fall down my face, but I blinked them away.
Alice took in a deep breath, calming herself down and then sat down on the couch, facing me. "Explain."
"I care about Edward a lot…" I trailed off, not sure of what to say. We both knew it was truly my fault. My fault that I didn't break up with Jacob, my fault that I failed to tell Edward the truth. We both knew I deserved this. But I didn't want that. I wanted Edward.
"Alice, I really do," I told her. "A lot. And, I know I made a huge mistake. But, I couldn't seem to break up with Jacob. You know when you're childhood friends, and then at one point you feel like you owe them this, to see if we could be more than friends. That's what I felt like. He helped me through everything, Alice. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here right now."
"What do you mean you wouldn't be here right now?"
"When Edward and I first met," I began. "He found cocaine in my bag. He asked me why. And…I didn't tell him everything."
Alice gasped in shock. "You…"
"I don't want to talk about that," I quickly told her. "But anyways, the day before I moved her, I…actually thought of suicide. And, I was heading to a cliff. My plan was to jump off and just…stop living. But then, Jake came. He saved me. He persuaded me to start over here. He's the reason I'm here. If it wasn't for him, I would have jumped off. I wouldn't be here right now. You don't know how grateful I was that he came. Deep down, I knew I was going to regret that. Jake made me think, and actually care about myself."
"So that's why you didn't break up with him," she whispered, mostly to herself.
"Oh, Bella," she muttered, pulling me into a hug. "I'm so sorry. You must have had such a rough life. Are you okay?"
I said nothing. I've heard that for about a hundreth time. Ever since my mom died, that's all I ever heard. 'Bella, are you alright'. But the answer was always the same. I'm fine. And I've never meant it.
"I…You did hurt Edward a lot, Bella," she said, after she realized that I wasn't going to answer her question. "I'm sorry. There's nothing I else I can do."
Alice shook her head. "I'm sorry. I can convince Edward to do a lot of things, but this is one thing I don't have any control over."
I sighed, taking in shaky breaths. "Oh, Alice. What am I going to do?"
Alice bit her lower lip, her face thoughtful. After a few seconds, she finally said, "You can pretend that you're in trouble. Like, pretend you're getting raped, and—"
"Alice, be mature."
Her face turned to stone, and she started walking around the living room, tugging on her hair as she tried to come up with an idea. When she got one, she snapped her fingers, smiling softly at me.
"Well, the only thing you can do is try to explain this to him Win him back," she said. "We both know he's still in love with you."
"He won't talk to me," I breathed, shaking my head vigorously. "He hates me, Alice. He hates me."
Alice put her hand over mine. "He doesn't, trust me."
"How can I explain this to him?" I asked. "All he knows is that I cheated on him, and that's all he's going to think about. He won't care about anything I say."
"Bella," Alice murmured. "Just try."
A/N: Im getting worse at writing everyday. Reviews are very much appreciated (: thank youu