She bit into her celery pointedly with a very Fiona-ish glare in his direction. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, bringing the bottle to his mouth. The discomfort was thick enough to cut with a knife.
…or blow a hole in with an assault rifle.
"Fi, could you please stop…chomping…on that thing?" Sam asked hopefully.
Her eyes narrowed. "Why? Does it bother you?"
"Yes it bothers me! Please just knock it off. I'm jumpy and having you munching on that isn't helping."
"How many times have we been waiting in the car and you've had a bag of chips?" she shot back.
"Those were chips and I chew quietly! I don't crunch them like some sort of horse!"
"A horse?" she gaped. He already regretted saying it.
"Fi, I didn't mean-"
She kicked his leg under the table. He grabbed his shin. "OUCH!"
"Serves you right."
He took another swig of his beer and checked his watch.
"Where do you think he is?"
"This is Michael," she sighed. "Who knows?"
"I know Mikey and he would have called by now."
"I know him too, Sam! I've known him a long time."
"Me too. He would've called by now."
"He also would have called if he was in trouble," she countered.
Sam folded his arms. This was another one of their "who-knows-Mike-better" competitions.
"Maybe he can't call."
She set her Bloody Mary down. "He's very resourceful. He'd call if there was trouble."
"Yeah, but he'd call if there wasn't."
"He isn't calling. It can't be that he's in trouble and he's not at the same time."
"Maybe he's at his Mom's."
She smirked. "That counts as being in trouble."
"He's over twenty minutes late."
"Until we know something."
He nodded and reached for his beer.
"Jesus Christ! Would you STOP IT?"
She smiled and took another bite. He scowled. She could be the most annoying person in the entire world.
"Stop staring. It's impolite," she snapped.
"You're the most irritating woman I've ever had to spend time with and that's saying something!"
"You're one to talk! You beer-guzzling womanizing-"
"Enough with the compliments."
"At least I don't have a thing for Michael's mom."
His mouth dropped. "I do not! I'm only crashing there because I blew up her house and I have to fix it!"
"You took yoga with her."
"It was just yoga!"
"You drink with her all of the time."
"Because there are drinks!"
"Sam and Madeline forever," she teased.
"It's adorable in a creepy way…"
"I do not have a thing for Mike's mom. Maddie is just a friend."
"Oooh, you gave her a pet name. Maddie, it's so sweet. Do I hear wedding bells?"
"Knock it off."
She laughed. This was too much fun. "Did I hit a nerve?"
He reached across the table and ripped the celery out of her hand. He put it on the waitress' tray as she walked by.
"Hey!" she protested.
"I told you to stop doing that!"
"You just ripped it out of my hand-"
"I don't know how Mikey puts up with you."
"He doesn't 'put up' with me! If he puts up with anyone it's with you!"
"I've known him since-"
"It doesn't matter! I know him better!"
"Do not! Just because you've slept with him doesn't mean that you know him better!"
"This has nothing to do with our relationship-"
They started shouting at each other. The entire restaurant stared at them like they had lost their minds. Fiona's phone beeped. She took a deep breath and looked at the text she just received.
"It's Michael. He's in trouble."
"Where?" Sam asked as he stood up.
She tossed him her keys and they got into the stolen car she was currently driving.
Sure they got on each other's nerves, but when it came down to it they worked well together. Especially when it came down to bailing Michael out. They shared a mutual love for the guy. A brotherly love on Sam's part, but love all the same. That's what kept their team together.
…when Michael wasn't busy almost getting himself killed that is.