Disclaimer: I don't own Minutemen or anything I write, really.
Note: Something I whipped up a couple of months ago, but I never got around to post it. Hopefully you'll enjoy it and review! =)

The Divorce

It was a sad, sad day for the Science world. For one thing, it had a nasty run in with it's second cousin, twice removed (respectively of course), Literature. However, and more importantly, it faced losing it's spouse, Charlie Tuttle.

Then again, the young scientist was making it seem like that.

"Charlie, why do you have divorce papers?" Virgil questioned, picking up one of the leaves of paper. Charlie sniffed, signing his name and crossing the t's. "Actually, where did you manage to find all these? I mean, don't tell me that you actually went to a judge just to get these."

"No, I didn't. I found them in the library. Sure, they're from the 1970's, but they have to be good enough...for my reasons," the younger boy sniffed, taking another piece of paper. Virgil rolled his eyes and snatched the paper from under him.

"Dude, you don't need a divorce. You're not married to anything!" he reasoned, staring in disbelief as Charlie grabbed another illegal document. Virgil instantly took it. "Hey, will you quit it?"

"No Virgil! I need to do this, or else I would be living a lie!"

"What lie?"

"I can't see Jeanette while I'm still married to science!" Charlie exclaimed, snatching the papers from his friend. Virgil sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew that Charlie could go crazy, but this was almost morbidly insane. No one could legally marry an object, okay sure they could in certain states, but this wasn't a thing to marry. Charlie signed the last document before gathering them all together. "I mean, I can't cheat! I mean, I don't even cheat on tests. I don't even lie, so that means I can't cheat on and hurt my true loves!"

"Charlie, sit down," Virgil said, grabbing Charlie's shoulders. He couldn't believe at how tense the shorter boy was, though he did remember Charlie running around singing that he married science. It was the day they received their school rings, and Virgil tried to explained the tradition of remembering Summerton High, but Charlie was set that the ring meant that (because it had a drawing of a flask and the word 'Science' written on it) him and his favorite subject were meant to be together. Forever.

Naturally, Charlie refused to have his dreams crushed by Virgil.

"Look, Charlie, you were never married to science. First of all, there's nothing representing your 'love'. Secondly, you just can't marry a subject!" Virgil exclaimed, waving his hands in the air. Charlie rolled his eyes, now in disbelief.

"I have the ring to prove it," he stated, putting his ringed finger in the air. Virgil scoffed and grabbed his friend's hand. Ignoring Charlie's protest, Virgil took the ring off Charlie's finger and stuffed it in his pocket. Charlie sat back in his chair out of defeat.

"Now you're not married to science," Virgil said triumphantly.

"No fair," Charlie mumbled, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Plus, you're way too young to be married," Virgil finished with a triumphant smile on his face. Charlie sighed and looked down at the finished papers.

"I guess this means science and I are finally over, huh?" he asked glumly, and Virgil realized at how upset Charlie really was. He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Look, you and science can be really good buddies, while Jeanette and you can be together. Plus, I heard that science was actually a man disguised as a woman," he joked, hoping to lighten the mood. Charlie, however, felt his eyes go wide.

"You mean I was married to a man?" he shrieked, causing Virgil to double over with laughter.

Some things with Charlie will never change.