A/N: Mild sexiness in this chapter. Unless kissing and Vulcan handporn squicks you out, you should be more or less safe.
Disclaimer. If I had the money, I'd be willing to buy this. Since I don't, I'll have to satisfy myself with fanfiction.
To her credit, she did wait until they got back to his apartment. As soon as the door closed behind her, she dropped her bag and grabbed him, kissing fiercely on the lips. For a moment he was shocked and stood stock still, back straight as a board. After a second, he leaned into the kiss, raising his hands to the small of her back.
Mutual participation, he decided, is indeed preferable.
"Thank you," she whispered, breaking the kiss to rest her forehead against his. "I know you don't.. I mean I know this isn't easy for you."
Spock frowned slightly. "It is not," he admitted, "and yet..." Curiously, he raised a hand and brushed a wisp of hair back from her face. Instead of drawing back, he allowed his finger to trail lightly down the shell of her ear, and traced the delicate lines of her neck, ending lightly at her collarbone. He was so focused on his task that he didn't notice Uhura's expression until she let out an involuntary sigh.
"Fascinating." he said, and indulged his curiosity.
As a student of kissing, as in all other things, Spock progressed in leaps and bounds, now that his control had been finally bypassed. He was not passionate. He would never be passionate. He was, after all, an alien, to whom passion was a foreign and dangerous thing. He had determined, on their ride back from the museum, that Uhura's fierceness would have to suffice for both of them. He instead focused on precision and efficacy.
For example, gently tracing the line of her collarbone elicited a positive reaction. Repeating this action with his lips produced an even more vehement positive reaction. His touches were feather light, but he suspected that his higher body temperature was adequate compensation. His kisses were always measured, restrained, precise. And, he was discovering to his great satisfaction that they seemed to be most effective.
"Oh this is so worth the wait!" Uhura gasped.
Spock looked up from his gentle study of her collarbone and neck. "I take that my time observing and collating data has been well spent?"
"Indeed," she said, a hitch in her voice. She pulled his face back to hers and pressed her lips against his.
The smile that quirked his lips was hidden by their kiss.
She was tugging fretfully at the bottom of his shirt. "Please," she gasped.
"It seems unwise," he murmured into her neck, his hands trailing lightly down her spine, an action that she had frequently used against him. To his increasing satisfaction, it made her gasp slightly. In fact, he had to wrap his arms around her in order to keep her upright.
"I don't care," she growled against his neck, tugging at the buttons of his shirt now.
"Nyota--" Spock forgot what action he had been planning to attempt next as Nyota fumbled with his shirt, her fingers brushing his exposed skin. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with how unwise their actions were. There were a thousand reasons to make the cadet stop, and all of them seemed to be jockeying for attention.
She was shifting against him, molding her body to his. "I know it's just human emotion and hormones or whatever—"
He attempted to back away from her, back straight and every muscle tensed. His stiff posture created an odd contrast to the liquid movements of her body. She is still a cadet, I am still a teacher, this is inappropriate. "Nyota--"
She tightened her grip on the back of his neck, silencing him with a kiss. "I've been really patient," She said between kisses, "But please, Spock."
I am Vulcan, she is human. There are things she does not yet know... Spock cleared his throat, trying to ignore what she was doing to his ear. "Nyota, it seems that you have been overtaken by a human reaction of--"
"I'll give you a human reaction," she said, pushing herself against him with increasing ferocity.
"Nyota please." He didn't realize that he had raised his voice until he saw the hurt look on her face as she jumped back from him as though burned.
The hurt shifted almost instantly to guilt, "I'm sorry," she said, her voice high and soft. "I don't know what I--"
"You were experiencing a very human reaction," he said calmly as he regained his composure.
One glance at Uhura discomposed him slightly, a minute frown disrupting his countenance. She had ducked her head, embarrassment and shame making her gaze at the floor.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly. She turned and moved to go to the door. Determining that her intention was to leave, Spock reacted instantly. His hand flashed out across the doorway, gripping the frame tightly. His arm was now blocking her exit.
"I do not wish for you to depart," he said softly.
She did not look up at him, but from what he could see, he suspected that her eyes were welling up. He frowned, uncertain of the precise cause of her emotional response.
"Nyota," he said. "It seems you are upset. May I inquire why?"
"I'm sorry," she said again. "I didn't mean to lose control like that..."
He raised her chin slightly. "You are human. I know enough of human physiology to have expected that this would happen. Your restraint has been truly remarkable, and you have indeed been very patient with me." he paused. "There is information I believe I must share with you, before we determine how to proceed."
He took her hand and led her over to the couch. She sat wiping her eyes before looking up at him expectantly. He knew that it was considered polite to sit, but he chose to violate custom on this occasion. He stood a few steps back from the couch, hands clasped behind his back.
"It is my understanding that humans frequently participate in certain activities, beyond what is required for the continuation of the species. Is that correct?"
Uhura blinked a few times, frowning slightly. "Are you asking me if humans have sex for fun?"
Spock tilted his head slightly in agreement. "To put it crudely."
Uhura shrugged. "Well yes, we do. Sex is fun. Or at least it certainly can be." She paused, studying his face. "I gather that Vulcans don't."
"It is not logical."
"Of course not," she said, shaking her head. "For the record, you guys have no idea what you're missing out on. Did you really think that I would make you to do something you didn't want to do?"
Spock frowned, sensing that there was no acceptable answer to this question.
She crossed her arms, raising her eyebrows incredulously at him. "This is the 23rd century, Spock. Teachers can call rape on students too, you know."
Spock's frown deepened slightly. "Do you believe that I would take such an action? Against you?"
She shrugged. "It is illogical to assume anything. Besides, why would I push you into having sex with me when I have a sneaking suspicion," She reached up and touched that triangle of exposed skin at the collar of his shirt, "that you're going to be very, very good at all the other stuff."
"We have a long way to go, you and I." She lowered her hand to grab his, but he backed out of her reach.
"Nyota, please..." He swallowed. "If it is our intention to carry on with this relationship, it is only correct that certain information be shared with you."
"What is it, Spock?"
"This is... not generally shared with offworlders," his voice sounded stiff, even to him, and he could only imagine what it sounded like to Uhura's sensitive ears. Her expression was difficult to read. She was no longer on the verge of tears, but she also looked as though she was unsure what to make of the current situation. "Please try to understand. There is a... process. Among my people it is not spoken of. Ever."
She was staring up, trying to catch his eyes. "Well whatever it is, you know you can trust--"
"Please, Nyota," he said, breaking eye contact. He walked around to stand behind the couch, hoping she would not turn and stare, although he knew she would. "I do not wish to be interrupted." She fell silent immediately and he began again. "Once every seven years, a Vulcan male must return to his home planet in order to be with his bonded mate. During this time he loses control of himself. Logic is stripped from him, and he is completely taken over by his instincts."
Spock took a deep breath, still refusing to look at the woman on the couch. "It is known as Pon Farr. The time of mating." He swallowed. "Of course, if we chose to continue with this relationship, I will take steps to break off my connection with T'Pring, but you should know that a Vulcan in Pon Farr is a danger to those around him. All those around him. My father was... it is my understanding that heavy sedatives were administered."
Spock risked a glance at Uhura. Her eyebrows were raised, but thankfully she looked neither shocked nor horrified. A little surprised, perhaps still confused, but not disgusted. And... was it possible that a smile was tugging at one corner of her mouth?
"The price you pay for being so logical."
"I do not see why the pursuit of logic would have a price affixed to it."
"Oh yeah? Ask your mom about that some time."
Spock frowned slightly. "I do not believe that this could be considered amusing, even by human standards."
"You have a lot to learn about nervous humor, Spock," she said, laughing tensely.
"Please, Nyota, this could be very serious. I am three times stronger than you. I vividly recall my mother's injuries--"
Nyota pressed her palms to her temples, exasperation in her voice "I don't know why we're talking about this. One minute you're kissing me, the next we're talking about bonded mates. Take a step back, Spock, we've been dating for a month. We'll cross that bridge--"
"When we come to it," he said, nodding. He frowned slightly, "But it is your belief that this 'bridge' as you call it, may have to be crossed? You believe that we will be together that long?"
"I hope so." She smiled reassuringly at him.
Spock let out a relieved breath he did not realize he had been holding. "Considering the compatibility of our personalities, I must conclude that your hopes are not unfounded."
"And you?" she said. "What do you hope for?"
"Vulcans do not generally indulge in unsupportable desires," he said quietly. "However, I would not have shared this information with you if I did not believe that it would become relevant at some point."
"Then you would have no objection to continuing our previous activities?" she said, looking up at him through her lashes and imitating his speech patterns.
He suddenly realized that his mouth was very dry. He could find no logical objection at the moment, so he nodded, swallowing slightly.
She nodded, swinging her legs over the back of his couch and sliding off to stand in front of him. She did not touch him, her arms clasped behind her, staring up into his face. "This is all very new to you."
It was not a question. Nevertheless, he shook his head. How utterly unnecessary, he thought, even as he did.
"You never forget the first one," she said, still holding his gaze with her large, dark eyes. "I remember mine, out under the Syringa tree in my back yard. He was older, and not really looking for more than a good time, but he spoke five Earth languages and three Federation ones."
"Nyota?" he said, about to inquire about the relevancy of this topic.
She raised one finger. "When he kissed me, for the first time, I started babbling. Luckily, he didn't speak Swahili, so he didn't know what half the stupid things I said even meant." She stared intently at his face, as if trying to understand. "Is that what happened here? Is all this logic and discussion... is this what a Vulcan sounds like when he's babbling?"
Spock straightened slightly. A human might have looked indignant. Spock just raised one eyebrow, his face composed. "I'm not certain I comprehend your meaning."
"I'm sure you don't." She grabbed his hand, her fingers brushing across the back.
Spock fought to maintain his composure.
"I know this must seem very strange to you," she said quietly, following the lines of his bones with her cool fingertips. Against his will, Spock felt his heartbeat stutter and quicken. "And I appreciate what you've done so far. But you've got to understand," She caught his gaze, "I'm only human, and this is new to me too."
Spock tried to focus on he words, but she was circling his knuckles with her thumb now. He knew he was breathing at an elevated rate, but he was having trouble determining whether or not she would be able to detect the change.
"So you're right, we've got to talk things out. And discussion and logic are going to be important if we are going to make this work, and I want this to work." She squeezed his hand gently. "You've got to talk to me, Spock. Not about what's proper and logical and traditional, though. You've got to tell me what you're thinking, because I can't read you very well."
"On the contrary," he said very quietly. I believe you... read me... better than anyone I have met."
She was beaming at him, her eyes darting over his face. He found that her smile was extremely pleasing to him.
She squeezed his hand again, one finger tracing a line on the side of his palm. Spock could not help but stiffen slightly at the touch, inhaling through his nose. His eyes flicked from their joined hands to her face, hoping that she hadn't noticed his reaction.
She had. "Are you OK, Spock?"
For a moment, Spock didn't say anything. She was still holding his hand, her fingers resting lightly on the back.
"The hand is a very sensitive area in Vulcan anatomy," he blurted at last, his voice uncharacteristically fast. "Hence the Vulcan salute and our refusal to participate in traditional Terran handshakes."
Uhura looked slightly taken aback. "Sensitive?"
"Extremely," Spock answered quickly.
"And by sensitive, do you mean it's an erogen--"
"Something similar," Spock cut in, trying to keep his tone modulated.
Uhura let out a short bark of laughter. "My, my Mister Spock. Do you mean to tell me, all this time I've spent trying to get you hot and bothered..." She was smiling wickedly, keeping his hand trapped in hers. "And all I needed to do was..." She trailed a finger along the back of his hand from his wrist to his fingertip.
Spock's eyes widened fractionally. His other hand snapped up to grab her wrist. "Before we proceed, I must be sure that you understand..." He met her eyes with a look that kept her from interrupting him. "I will not participate in certain activities you may wish to engage in. I wish to please you, but not as a human male would."
"Only once every seven years?"
He nodded. "When not in the grips of Pon Farr, Vulcan men do not suffer from the effects of testosterone as human males do."
She nodded slowly, considering the implications of this, a frown creeping across her face. "So whereas when most men look at me, they're thinking with their libidos, when you look at me..." She looked over at him, confusion filling her face. "What is it exactly that you see in me?"
Spock considered her expression. There was something unexpected there, a vulnerability he had never seen in her before. It suddenly struck him that Uhura had expected him to be motivated by lust, as most human males would be. Without it, she seemed less certain of her own worth.
"Spock?" she said, a heartbreaking uncertainty in her voice. He had known her to be a confidant, self-assured woman, but he began to understand that what she had been so certain of was her own attractiveness.
He gazed at her, struggling to pinpoint what exactly it was that drew him to her. "You are a highly intelligent woman," he said, "Surely you are aware of that?"
She shrugged. "Most men-- well, most men who've expressed interest in me, at any rate, find that brains just get in the way of other things."
An unfamiliar sensation-- possibly some form of outrage-- flashed in his chest. It seemed both illogical and morally reprehensible for human males to treat their women so disrespectfully and then blame their physiology. Were they entirely unaware of the psychological damage such actions inflicted?
Uhura was still talking. "I guess this is... well, if I'd thought about it, I shouldn't be surprised, but I assumed that you felt some kind of attraction to me... you know, physically. Otherwise, why go through the trouble to date me?"
"You wished it, and I found that the thought was not disagreeable. Our relationship has brought me ample opportunity to expand my understanding of humanity, and--"
"That's logic, Spock. I want to know what you feel. I'm an illogical, undisciplined alien." She seemed genuinely confused. "I just... I don't know what you see in me," she repeated at last.
"Presumably,"' he said slowly, meeting her gaze and trying to make her comprehend the meaning he could not find words for, "it is the same thing that you see in me."
She did not seem to understand, so he continued.
"To you, I must seem..." he searched for the correct words. "Distant? Aloof? Cold, perhaps." He frowned. "If you can explain what it is that draws you to me, then I will attempt to find words that adequately express my connection to you."
She smiled at that, her expression pensive. "That's... actually nice." she said at last, sounding slightly surprised. "Refreshing." She sighed, brows furrowing slightly. " But it seems unfair to you." She gazed up at him, meeting his eyes. "I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel."
Spock sat in silence for a moment, considering this. He reached out to take her hand, pausing halfway there. "If you are not unwilling?"
"I am very willing. I am all kinds of willing," she assured him quickly.
Spock nodded, and gently took one of her hands in his. He formed her fingers into the traditional Vulcan gesture of affection, first two fingers raised, thumb slightly out. Mirroring this gesture, he pressed his hand to hers. Brows slightly furrowed, he moved his hand, trailing his fingers along the back of her hand before returning to press his hand to hers. Having finished this, he looked over at her, and nodded slightly.
Frowning slightly in concentration, he imitated his gesture, her cool fingers trailing over his feverish skin. Spock's eyes fell half-shut. Her hands were so smooth, so cool compared to his, like frosty silk against his skin. Her nails brushed lightly against his wrist, sending shudders down his spine, before trailing up his palm and pressing her hand against his again. His heart was fluttering now, and he was certainly breathing more rapidly than he had, even though he felt entirely relaxed.
She looked up at him and a sudden smile broke across her face like sunlight. She laughed lightly, a triumphant laugh. "It is green!" she said exultantly.
Spock frowned slightly.
"Very pale, very yellowish, but definitely green," she elaborated, reaching up with her free hand and brushed his cheek and the tip of his ear. Suddenly, he realized that their activities had doubtless caused his blood to rush to the surface, causing a greenish flush to rise up his neck and into his face.
He was blushing.
It took only a moment's concentration to make the green retreat, but her triumphant smile remained. Spock realized that he had formed an illogical attachment to that expression. It meant that she was happy, and that pleased him greatly. He found that her happiness was more satisfying to him than the successful programming of a complicated simulation. It was more fascinating than the investigation of new life on a new planet. It was more fulfilling than correctly deducing the cause of an unusual reading from a ship's sensor.
He leaned forward very slowly and kissed her gently, letting his eyes slide closed. Her fingers intertwined with his, her thumb tracing spirals on his palm as he deepened the kiss, experimenting with tongue and teeth. She moaned in pleasure and pulled him closer.
He smiled slightly against her lips. It was only logical for a Vulcan to stretch his boundaries, explore new territory. It was part of improving oneself, of expanding horizons. He trailed slow kisses along her jawline and down her neck, quietly intrigued by the small sounds she was making.
And even though he knew that it was likely that he would face more dangerous and more complicated situations in his career at Starfleet, he also knew that she was the greatest and most rewarding challenge he would ever face. And though this thought was not factually accurate, he perceived that it was, indeed, truthful.
* FIN *
A/N: I had a blast writing this chapter, even though it gave me more trouble than it should have. Sorry it took me this long to update, I hope it was worth it :)
And before you say it, yes, I know I'm a dreadful tease for not finishing up that scene with Spock taking Uhura roughly against the wall, but I thought that would be unforgivably OOC . Trust me when I say that I'm sure that Spock does find a way to make Uhura a very, very happy woman ;)
As for the whole no-sex thing- It is my understanding, from watching TOS, that Vulcans just don't have sex outside of Pon Farr. I'm not saying they can't, I'm just saying they don't. I'm sure Uhura will find a way to bypass that aspect of Spock's control, just not in this story.
Please let me know what you think-- all reviews are welcome!