"Spock…I have something to tell you before we…um."
Spock touched his two fingers on the underside of her right breast, taking her thoughts with the brush of his fingertips. They both laid naked on his bed and though it was not the first time either had seen the other naked, it would be the first time that they had went past their usual foreplay and into the actual act. Nyota Uhura swallowed deeply as his fingers went into the pebbled nipple waiting for their greeting.
"You are nervous." Spock said, his voice giving away nothing. He observed the hitches of her breath and the minute movement of her hips against the side of his body. He was beside her, the front of his body on the black cotton sheets of his bed hiding his growing erection. Spock was fascinated by the contrasts of their skin as he always was when they explored one another. His pale skin against her darker hue that reminded him of the dark sands on his home world that he once explored as a child. How he used to trace symbols of his learning in the ground as if only Vulcan could understand it and his yearning to be more from it than from the alien soil of Earth. Vulcan was no longer, so he could trace his yearning into the only home he had left, her dark skin nurturing him and sustaining him.
"I…I've never done this before."
Uhura watched as his movement stilled and he removed his fingers. "I will not continue if you do not want it."
"Spock, I want you."
Spock's fingers continued its exploration. They slipped down between her breasts and made a small circle symbol on her belly and moved down towards her essence. Uhura gave a gentle grip to his sheets as he inserted his fingers into her moisture.
"Nyota, I have never experienced what we will share either." Spock confessed into her ear as he moved his fingers in and out. "I will…be gentle."
She let go of the breath she had no idea she was holding and closed her eyes as he began to pleasure her with his fingers while turning his body so that he could suck the crook of her neck. She released the sheets and held onto his arm and forearm with both hands as she rode out her coming orgasm .
"I love you, Spock." She whispered as he placed himself on top of her. It was the first time she had ever admitted it to him and she did not expect the sentiment in return. It was not his way. It would never be his way, even if all of his old world was gone, it would live on through him.
He looked down at her and with his hand smoothed her hair from her face. "This may be painful for you. I can alleviate that pain if you wish."
She knew he was talking about melding with her. He had offered the chance to do so when they had first become naked before each other but she had declined. She had always had her own mind and was not comfortable with giving it over to another person to see and share. He had not felt rejected by her fear of it, and had been an able teacher to her in what touches pleased him and what did not. He was strangely human to her that first time of holding him and touching him with no clothes. Nyota had figured out he could moan his pleasure without losing full control. She was comforted seeing him come and knowing that his semen was just as white as a human male. He had made her comfortable with him and that had made her trust him more with her heart.
If he could be human for her, she could be Vulcan for a few hours for him.
"Do not be afraid, Nyota. I will only go as deep as you wish."
"I'm not afraid." Nyota lied and Spock knew it. He did not respond to this or call her out on this matter. It was a response of her own nervousness at something so alien to herself. She was trying to be brave for him and he was going to leave her with that comfort.
He pressed his fingers to her pressure points. "My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts."
He could feel her pulse speed and ebb under his fingertips. He let it hypnotize him, the sound, the rush of blood, the vibrations of her life. He took in a deep breaths matching her pulse, matching the life flow of her body. They were aligned.
He could feel her fear and he gently soothed her. He could see himself in her vision and went deeper.
Spock was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Nyota was overwhelmed by his presence but did not stop him. She was drowning inside his essence and then it eased.
She barely noticed his manhood enter her body but she felt his reaction. He was overwhelmed.
She looked up into his face and he leaned down to kiss her. They began.
Every feeling was amplified. Every touch was echoed. There was no difference between them.
As his thrusts speed up he could feel his control slipping. His thoughts spilled into her as into a glass.
"Spock!" She came with a power she did not know she was capable of and kissed his lips, their bodies sweaty and slick. Before she knew it she was crying, expressing the emotions he could not express. For his planet, for his mother, for her.
He could feel her own grief come into him. For Gaila, for Vulcan, for himself.
I almost lost you. Spock. Lost you. Almost lost you. Love you. Almost lost you.
I love you, Nyota. Love. Love. Never leave. Home. Home.
He groaned into her mouth has his orgasm hit him and she came with him once more.
"Are you okay, Nyota?"
Nyota sniffed and he wiped her tears once more. "I had no idea you felt so much."
"It is an overwhelming experience to mind meld with a Vulcan. Our emotions are…"
"A lot." Nyota smiled and kissed him again. "I love you, Spock. Thank you for sharing that with me."
She laid her head on his chest and drifted off into her own mind, taking a piece of him to be forever with her. He did the same.