I love reading all the lovely reviews I get, they make my day. SARCASM. Damn, if you are going to leave a flame please don't be a coward and use anon. But anyways, I want to say thank you to my awesome readers for still sticking with me! I'm sure you all do not want to hear my reason from being away for so long.. So I'll just give you the chapter
Last Time: "I think we need to talk Bella, I know you're mad but please just listen to me" Felix started.
I turned my head away from him. I couldn't decide if I didn't want him to see my face because I was mad or maybe it was because I felt- what's the word- embarrassed, weak? The reason didn't matter, what mattered was that I did not want Felix to look into my eyes.
"Bella, I understand that you aren't okay and you probably do not want me here, but please just hear me out" he didn't make a move to touch me, which I was very glad for. I didn't trust my voice not to crack or quiver so I resorted to just nodding my head ever so slightly, I knew he would see it.
"I don't have much time; I know Edward is going to kill me soon. So, I just wanted to tell you that I'm leaving, I'm running away from here and… well Bella…I…" He didn't need to finish his sentence, I knew what was coming.
"You can't take me with you." It wasn't a question just a simple whispered statement. I finally looked up and met his eyes. They looked so lost, but I'm sure it was reflected in my eyes too.
"No. You're right. I can't take you, but believe me I would love to. I'll come back for you. So please, Bella, for me, survive for as long as it takes. Do not let him break you completely" He moved closer as he was talking, his hand on my thigh, he face inches from mine. My breath was coming out in shallow breaths. He was asking me to survive for as long as it takes, and I already feel like I can't survive another day.
"How long? Because Felix, I can't survive in hell. I do not know what will happen today, next week, or next month if I even make it till then. I already feel like I'm drowning, like I'm 100 feet under and even you can't save me now. So just leave, forget about me. Be like all the other vampires here and just lose your heart, I don't care anymore, I don't care anymore about anything. Because before long my everything, my life, will be over." My tears were falling freely, I didn't wipe them because I couldn't care less.
"Don't say that! I just need time to come up with a plan, and I'll be back here with others of my kind and I will save you. Please just wait, don't give up on me, and don't give up on life…" Felix hadn't moved away from me, he had moved closer. So close that our lips were almost touching.
"Go Felix, before Edward comes back. Just go, I'll always think fondly of you but go now" I hadn't made a move to move away from Felix. But it surprised me when he started to kiss me. the kiss wasn't soft, it was demanding and it was a kiss someone gives when they know it's goodbye. The shock ran off quickly, and I kissed him back like this was the last time I'd ever see him. It ended too soon and he walked to the door, leaving me breathless on the bed, but not before pulling his shirt over his head and quickly placing it on me.
He paused, with his hand on the handle, "He can't reach your mind Bella, use it my love" and with that he crushed the lock and walked out of the room and my life for forever as far as I knew. The door banging shut, to me sounded like an ending.
What did he mean he can't reach my mind? Does he mean Edward… well duh he can't reach my mind, well unless he cracked open my skull, oh gosh that's disgusting. I want a distraction, I need one. My mind is too focused on Felix, I just need to realize that he is gone and so is my only salvation from Edward. You are on your own now Bella, you and your stupid fucking mind. Dear Lord, help me I'm going to go insane. Maybe I am already insane, I'm already talking to myself. Shut up brain shut up!
Felix's shirt smells good.. oh my gosh I need a distraction.
I got up off the bed; thankful that his shirt went down to my mid thighs to keep me covered and started to dance around. I need music; closing my eyes I begged my brain to remember a song…
hello mothafucka hey hi how ya doinn its weezy f. baby come to take a shit and urine on the toilet bowl bitches, pussy ass niggaz steppin on this beat like a mothafuckin sigma bad to the brizzle half to the rizzle im so official all i need is a whistle bitch named Crystal let her suck my pistol she open up her mouth and then i blow Im goin in, im goin in, im goin in, im goin in
her brains out you aint met a nigga like me probably never will ryderz rollin wit me like eleven wheels find out wher you livin kill you in the kitchen the fedz tryna clip us but we aint even trippin
and imma go hard, and imma go hard, and imma go hard, and imma go hard
Im goin in, im goin in, im goin in, im goin in
I was getting my dance on, acting like I was in a club going crazy and belting out the lyrics. It felt good to let loose. I was just about to do my signature move where I drop in low and shake it like a salt shaker on the way up, when I heard a clearing of a throat. My whole body locked into place and it felt like time stood still. My eyes clinched closed and I didn't dare open them. The throat cleared again, but this time there was a hard edge to it almost as a warning. I'm not stupid; I know exactly who is in front of me waiting for me to open my eyes.
"Isabella" His voice cut through the silence "look at me"
My eyes ever so slowly, one at a time opened up to look at his face. Where I expected a stone angry face to be was a clearly amused face. And on the face was a huge smirk, almost as if he had been holding in a laugh, which I'm sure was towards me.
"Yes, Master?" I spit master out with as much venom as I could.
"I never knew you could dance and sing"
"You don't know a lot about me, and I do not appreciate you mocking me"
"My apologies little one" His eyes still held amusement in them, but they lost some of the amusement once he realized what exactly I was wearing. "I see Felix stopped by before fleeing like the coward he is, and how noble of him to give you a shirt off his own back. I don't see what you see in him"
"He has shown me more compassion than you have ever shown anyone in your entire existence, and I am sure of that. You are a monster, and in him I see a man" The last words were more to me than to Edward, but he still heard them. I thought for sure that he was going to lash out at me but his anger never came. It was calm, the silence was almost awkward as I stood there paranoid and he stood there like a statue. It had to have been another three minutes before he made a move to speak but stopped abruptly and then another minute before he finally said something.
"Maybe you are right Isabella, but remember that inside everyone there is a monster, a monster that may possibly be tamed and maybe not." He paused and took a step towards me "I… uhm…" This was a first for him, he never stuttered. "But if it means anything to you I'm—well I'm not a total monster, if you follow my orders and don't piss me off I'm sure you won't be completely miserable here" with that he walked out without closing the door and in less than two seconds he was back with a tray of food. "Here is dinner, eat up Isabella we wouldn't want you to lose your strength, and I will be back later for you" this time he shut the door behind him.
I put the tray on the desk and sat in the chair to eat dinner. It was surprisingly delicious, well it was only Easy Mac but it was better than the sandwiches I had been eating. Today had been weird, first I was punished, then Felix left me but not before an amazing kiss, and then Edward almost apologized. He was going to apologize right? Well it doesn't matter, because I sure by later tonight his mood will have changed back to normal. I'm all around just confused. I had finished my macaroni without even realizing it and had been sucking on an empty food for who knows how long.
One thing I wasn't confused about was that I wanted to not be a sitting duck when he came back and I definitely didn't want him to catch me dancing and singing again. Looking around the room I tried to find a hiding spot. I knew I couldn't really hide, because he would find me immediately but I didn't want to make anything easy for him. Under the bed was too cliché, and the bathroom door was locked, so I resorted to hiding on the far side of the night stand. Now all I had to do was wait. Wait for Edward to come back, wait for the police to find me even though they are no match against vampires, wait for Felix to rescue me, and wait for my ultimate death.
Uhm… haha. Any thoughts? Getting back into writing this story is harder than it looks. I had a review that said my story and writing have changed for the worse… well shit happens in life and it kind of changes people's views on things, so yes it is different. But different isn't always bad… right? Well leave me a review please! Lots of love, Brighteyes.
P.S. I don't have a Beta, so sorry for any mistakes, but mistakes do make us human.