A/N: This is in tribute to the fact that I've now become obsessed with FML. There might be another chapter for another character (I was thinking Luke, but you know, whoever), so tell me what you think, please. And if you don't know the site, I advise visiting it (briefly) before you read this fic. And if you haven't ever gone to the site, and don't want to, please don't comment on how strange this seems to you. It only makes sense if you know the site.

Disclaimer: Out of paranoia, let me just say that I don't own PJO or

My math teacher wants to kill me. I know I may have failed her class (and every other class this year), but isn't this considered child abuse? FML

Today I went to sleep away camp for the first time. I'm twelve. And to make matters worse, my mom was killed, I got beat up by the biggest girl here, and I discovered I'm going to have to wear a bright orange t-shirt for three months. FML

My estranged father's brothers want to kill me. I've never met them, but let's just say that one has the ability to crash airplanes, and the other is holding my mom "hostage." FML

Today one of my camp counselors decided to go all Agent 23 on me. His method? Giving me a pair of cursed sneakers. The sad thing is, I almost died. FML

My best friend's gone missing, I have a half-brother with the intelligence range of a two-year-old, and I stupidly left my friend with her knife while sailing near the Bermuda triangle (long story). FML

I found out that there's a slight chance my destiny will be to kill my dad and most of my relatives. And if I don't? Everybody else might die. FML

My two best friends have begun ignoring me. Why? Because their best friends, who has been "living in a tree", just came… let's say, "back to camp". Oh how I wish I were kidding. FML

My bestish friend who's a girl fell off a cliff. To make matters worse, my tree-acquainted friend seems to think it's my fault. FML

There is a tribe of fairly good-looking girls staying at my camp. I can't decide which is worse: the fact that they're not allowed to date, or the fact that my male peers won't shut up about them beating us at capture the flag. FML

I am on a road trip. It would be fun, except that my company consists of: a Shakespearian-speaking huntress, a girl who's been trapped in a tree for six years, my half-human best friend, and our new mentee, who we've probably scared out of ever wanting to hang out with us. Oh yeah, and we're supposed to save the world and stuff. FML

Today, my friends and I got kind of wrapped up in the fact that we were sightseeing at a dam. The sad part? It was the funniest thing that had happened to me in a long, long time. FML

I voluntarily put the weight of the world on my shoulders, in order to save my friends. No, seriously. I think I'm going to get premature back pains. I'm fourteen. FML

My tree-inhabiting friend came very close to destroying the world today. The way she stopped herself? She had to join the huntresses, a band of women who pledge to never date a man for all eternity. Let me tell you, I'm getting a little concerned for my gender. FML

My eleven-year-old cousin tried to kill my today. He is an avid mytho magic player, and is several inches and years my junior. His motive? He holds me responsible for his sister's death. FML

I kissed a girl, and then after almost dying, ended up on this other girl's island (literally, not metaphorically). I left her, in order to see the girl I kissed. Then, when I got back, apparently my friends were angry with me for breaking up their pleasant little funeral. FML

Over the past few weeks, I have learned that while I might be brave enough to duel people, I do not have the courage to ask a girl out. I'm sixteen. FML

I got "dumped" by first real "girlfriend" because she wants to become and abstinent fortuneteller. FML

Today I discovered that the actual "child of prophecy" is my arch nemesis. It wouldn't be so bad, except that I've been the one doing all of the stressing about it. It just seems a little unfair. The worst part, though, is that he died because of it, so I obviously can't complain about it to his oldest friend – my new girlfriend. FML

My new stepsister can add numbers better than I can. She's four. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me that she'll love me even if I don't go to college. I guess she didn't see the application to Columbia on my bed. FML

I discovered that this group of people has been writing stories about my friends and I. I'm kind of afraid to show it to them, because the stories seem to think that we're these hormonal, obsessive lunatics. FML

This girl has been cyber-stalking me all across the internet, copy and pasting everything I've posted on fml. FML

A/N: This is dedicated to Savannah (ShadowPalace), who's obsessed with FML right with me. Go FML! Thanks for reading guys, please review!