A/N: Here we are again! With Luke this time, as our FML poster. I hope you guys enjoy it! Oh, and profanity warning.
I am sitting in a dark closet. I have been here for nine hours, without food and being bitten by bugs. It's because my mom is a psychopath, possibly dangerous, and deadest on telling me how I'm inevitably doomed. FML.
Today, I ran away from home. This would be scary in it of itself, but I keep getting chased by monsters. Yes, chased. They seem to know who I am, where I'm going, and they really, really seem to want me dead. FML.
I found my first friend today. She is a punk girl, two years younger than I am. This would be good, except that she seems to know exactly what I'm going through. Oh crap, you mean my entire existence wasn't a dream? FML.
We visited my house today. So, my mom's still crazy, my dad still doesn't care about me, and my life still sucks. The only change is, now my friends may think I'm a little crazy too. I'm not sure. FML.
Thalia is trying to talk to me about forgiving my dad. It's a bit hypocritical, since I'm pretty sure she hates her parents. She won't go away though, and I think my fist clenching and face reddening is scaring Annabeth. FML.
Today, we were brought to this place called Camp Half Blood. It was supposed to be good, but then Thalia got jumped by a Minotaur and turned into tree. Some weird centaur guy is talking to us about our parents, apparently oblivious to our pain. I'm trying to decide who I hate more: him, the Minotaur, or the gods. The mental strain of decision is hurting me, and I have a headache. FML.
I went on my first quest, and came back with a ridiculous scar across my face. I was all ready to think that it wasn't so noticeable, when Annabeth laughed and told me I looked like Harry Potter. And just when I thought my looks were the only thing I had left. FML.
The gods are still hovering around. It's bugging me. FML.
I am plotting revenge now, although it's sort of weird. I'm reporting to the Titan, Kronos, who has wanted to do this for years. Is it bad that I feel like the neglected intern? He swears I'll get more important, but so far all I've done is receive a package of cursed sneakers. FML.
We have a new kid, Percy Jackson. He is stupid, mouthy, and Annabeth is doing her banter-flirt thing with him. Gods, - wait, no, Titans (I am forsaking the gods, remember?) – I hate the universe. FML.
Apparently Percy is part of our plan. He's the child of prophecy, which would be funny, except that I'm supposed to eventually be using Annabeth to get to him. I'm not sure which is worse: the fact that I'm going to be hurting Annabeth, or the fact that we are using my childhood love to taunt my arch nemesis (so to speak). FML.
And on that note (read above), I've been thinking. Why is the only girl I've ever loved only twelve years old? I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with me, and not just the dreams I have of Kronos brandishing a samurai sword. FML.
I am very bored. I thought that saving the world would be really cool, or at least vindicating, but this is worse than the time Annabeth tried to make me read Fahrenheit 451. FML.
Today, I learned that my friend Thalia is back from the dead, or tree or whatever. Also, she joined the hunters. Aside from the fact that I kind of, sort of missed her, I am now getting angry letters from fangirls who believe I ruined this thing called 'Thuke'. They've all been telling me to go and die, and leave my plan for revenge, and I don't even know what Thuke is! FML.
I am trapped in Kronos's body. FML.
I am still trapped in Kronos's body. FML.
I am still trapped in Kronos's body, and today we tried to go to the bathroom. I am thinking that this whole body-fusion thing was a bad idea. I do not ever remember being in this much pain, including my bath-thing in the River Styx. That, in it of itself, depresses me. FML.
I am still trapped in Kronos's body. It's so mind-consuming that I can't even think about the other million things I have to rant about. …But… since you obviously care: Dad, Mom, Percy, Annabeth, Thalia… Should I include Grover for good measure? Crap, Kronos wants to go somewhere. I'm praying it's not the bathroom again. FML.
I hit Annabeth. Oh, and I think I'm dying. And Annabeth likes Percy. And yup, definitely dying now. I think people are talking to me. Something about Annabeth liking Percy? Shit, well, at least Kronos is gone. No more bathroom "adventures" or anything. But yeah, to recap, Annabeth likes Percy, I accidentally hit her, and I'm dying (Can you say FML if you're dead? Ah well, F My Death).
I am waiting at the reincarnation booth. It's empty. Do you want to know why? It's because the God of the freaking Dead (I hate that this now applies to me, by the way), is absent. And that is because he chose this particular day to go and party with his relatives. So I am waiting here. Still dead, and once again pissed at the gods. FMD.
A/N: That's it! Next is Annabeth, then Nico and then Thalia. I might do Kronos after that, I'm not sure. I would do Grover, but I feel like he's not very FML-ish. Thoughts?