Author's Note: Please don't kill me? 8D;; I love this pairing, (I love every pairing though, yaoi or not, lol.) and just had to write something, rofl. I apologize in advance if the characters are OOC, I swear, it's accidental. I tried very hard to keep them normal, especially Alice and Gil/Raven, as they are the stars of this fic. This is also my first Pandora Hearts fanfic posted on here. I have done one other, but am not proud of it and am in the process of writing more. ^^ So I hope you enjoy this. Seeing so little Pandora Hearts fics is saddening. T_T This series is great!
WARNING: SPOILERS!! I warn you now, if you don't want to be spoiled up to chapter 38, please don't read until you have read those chapters. It's essential when reading this. Because I'm sure a lot of you who have read noticed a huge change in Gil's personality around Alice after he found out he might have killed her 100 years ago. He began to treat her differently, as if he wanted to make it up to her. When they fell off the cliff in chapter 36, Gil protected her, something we have only seen him do with Oz. Vincent also told Gil that he knows he cares for Alice as much as he does his Master. Also, we were shown a snippet of Alice's memories where we see little Alice run, and not even seconds later, Gil's running after her with a tray of tea. Now, why would this appear as ALICE'S memory, unless Alice and Gil associated in the past, and more than just the one encounter than when he threatented her with the knife? There had to be more, more times they met.
I wanted to show the reflection on Gil's part from the knowledge of knowing he "killed" Alice (I personally believe it was Vincent, based on those chapters with Oz seeing Alice's dead body and Vincent beforehand; plus, wasn't Gil in Abyss at the time this occurred?) and the drastic change in his character after that and what would have happened had Alice noticed and touched upon it. Note that this is NOT realllly lovey dovey romance or anything of the sort. Slightly, because this is a Gil x Alice after all and a little more in the way of friendship, but I could only see them doing it to bring the other down a peg or two, to tarnish each other's pride and get back at each other, which Alice takes full advantage of. ;D
I give full credit to the band A.F.I for the song lyrics of "Love Like Winter".
Disclaimer: I do not own Pandora Hearts, and if I did, I'd be freaking torn on an ending pairing should there be one. I'm already torn as it is. xD;
Love Like Winter
"It's in the blood, it's in the blood;
I met my love before I was born. She wanted love; I taste of blood.
She bit my lip, and drank my war; from years before..."
It was nearly early morning when he awoke from the distant screams from the nightmare that had been pounding in his ear drums, the imagery of blood, fear and death encased behind his closed eyelids. Opening his eyes and shutting them again with a low sigh, Gilbert, known in Pandora as 'Raven', got into a sitting position, his face in his hands and panting softly. Sweat clenched to his clothes, sticky and uncomfortable. Taking a glance at the wall clock, he saw it was nearing four-thirty AM, and knew no one else in the Mansion would be awake at this hour. He reeked from the sweat that was covering his skin, and scowling, the dark-haired man rose from his bed and stretched before getting some new clothing and prepared to head off for a shower.
The nightmare had been one he had not anticipated of having, never imagined how downright terrifying it could be. It took all his self-restraint not to scream outloud, and he blinked his eyes to rid himself of the lingering dream. He needed a distraction, and this shower would do just that. He could practically feel blood on his hands, hear a laughter that seemed quite unlike his own, evil and degrading, but knew came from him, and saw himself hovering over the dead girl's body, her eyes wide in terror, neck slashed, never knowing who it was who ended her very existence. Suddenly, he felt sick, and stopped to breath in a lungful of air to calm his churning stomach. He wanted to look at his hands, to ensure that blood wasn't really there, but he was afraid; afraid it would be, and he...
No. Even if he did kill her...
He squeezed his eyes shut tight. Even if I did kill her... what? There's no 'even if I..'; I killed her. I killed that 'Alice'. She was still human, and I.. Opening his eyes in a snap, he shook his head to clear the thoughts away, and continued farther along down the hall, his long, slender fingers pressed against the wall as he walked.
He was halfway down the hall when he heard her.
"What are you doing, seaweed-head?"
Narrowing his eyes slightly at her -- because she was the last person he wanted to see right now -- he stared as she made her herself known from the dark hallway by stepping into the firelight lit by the candles on the walls next to them. She didn't look angry, he was surprised to see, and though her tone had been somewhat suspicious, her expression was mildly curious, mixing with that irritated look he had become accustomed to seeing on her face. Giving her a slight scowl, the male responded. "Going for a shower, stupid rabbit. I can't sleep in wet clothes, you know."
She smirked, then, a self-satisfactory grin. "Ha! Did you wet the bed or something?"
He glowered. "No, of course not. Why would I even..?" Sighing, he raised his hand his face again. "Why am I even asking you that..?"
"Who knows," The Chain shrugged, her long brunette hair falling over her shoulders as she walked to the wall beside him and simply stood against it, looking at the candlelight on the opposite wall. "You... you're in my memories.."
The subject came up out of nowhere, startling him temporarily. Giving her a glance out of the corner of his eye, he looked to the carpet, saying nothing. Her gaze turned to him, and he unwillingly looked back at her. "Why?"
"How should I know?" Gilbert asked with an air of annoyance. "I don't remember anything about back then, that guy was the one who brought it up."
Silence passed between them again before Alice broke it. "We both knew him," She said. "That man.. Jack."
"Ah.. yeah.." Gil said slowly, unsure of where she was going with this. Figuring he would be here a while, as this girl could go on forever, he leaned against the wall with her, both just staring down at their feet illuminated in the light. "Those memories of a hundred years ago..."
"Hmm," Alice looked back up at him, smirking teasingly. "Looks like even back then you were a stupid seaweed-head."
"Hmph," Gil gave a snort in the back of his throat. "Well, I would say, 'Even back then YOU were still a stupid rabbit', but it's not the truth."
The girl looked up at him, eyebrows creased. "What do you mean?"
"You were human," Gil reminded her. "Oz saw that just as I did. Even now, you act just like a human..." He went slightly red in embarrassment as he realized he had just complimented her, and then quietly whispered, trying to get back some of his pride in an edgy voice,"You stupid rabbit." But saying the insult now... it felt more like a fond phrase for the girl standing beside him, almost as if he now felt the same fondness for her herself. Unwillingly, his mind went back to Vincent's words earlier.
"You see that girl in the same way you see that Master of yours, don't you?"
Did that mean he now cared for Alice? Wanted to protect her, like he did for Oz? Couldn't bring himself to let anything happen to her? No. The fact remained this girl was a Chain; her appearance may look like that of a snotty, unpleasant, but innocent and occassionally kind girl, but beneath that exterior was a bloodstained black rabbit. The monster that would take his Master from him, make him lose Oz again, and for good this time, and he wanted nothing more than to just loathe and despise her for that, but, somehow.. he couldn't bring himself to hate it. To hate her. Sure, she annoyed him to no end, pissed him off like crazy, but... he had grown fond of her, grown to care for her. He briefly wondered if it was more.
Alice broke his pondering with her abrupt whisper. Gil looked back at her, then around the hall. "What is it, a chain?" He had his gun out in a flash, but Alice's fingers had shoved it away from him, letting it fall and clatter to the floor as she came in front of him. She was much too close, and he felt his cheeks reddening as her hands pressed him against the wall. "No, it's not that. Something's wrong... different... about you." Her eyes -- usually filled with disdain whenever she looked at him -- were now filled with that curious look again. "I've been wondering about it since earlier.. you risked your life to save me after I fell off that cliff. Why?"
"Y-you're Oz's contractor..." The excuse came so easily from his lips he wondered if he had prepared it all beforehand. Alice's eyes narrowed, and she was even closer now, pressing her body uncomfortably on his. Her foot pressed on his, and his eye twitched in both pain and anger.
"You're lying, Raven. I'm a Chain, but I'm not stupid. The air -- the presence around us has changed. Even with Oz in the vicinity, I felt something was different. This change is from you. You're feeling differently about something. When you met with Jack," Alice's voice had become more prying, demanding, and hard as steel. "What did he say to you? What did he tell you?"
"Nothing," Gil said a little too quickly, too overcome by his rage to think clearly.
"And that's not all," Alice pressed. "You went to see that guy, that brother of yours.. Vincent.. right after we saw Jack. After that, you started acting different, almost scared. What's wrong with you, seaweed-head?"
"I told you, nothing, you stupid rabbit," Gil spoke coldly, and pushed her off of him, just hard enough to make her stumble away from him. She looked somewhat affronted at being shoved, but Gil ignored her, and attempted to walk away, when her hard grip found his arm and he found himself wincing. "Oi, that hurts! Let go!"
"Gladly, once you tell me the truth," Alice said promptly, "And you will tell me. I'm not letting you leave until you do."
He glared hard at her. "You forget that I'm the only one who can release your power."
She stiffened slightly, rebuffed, and Gil smirked slightly at having an advantage over her, but the girl quickly recovered, smirking again. "Then you better tell me or I swear the next time you release my power, I will sick my revenge on you too. I don't care if you're Oz's precious manservant or not. Quite honestly, I don't know why I didn't beat you to a bloody pulp earlier."
"That makes two of us," Gil's lips twitched slightly, though it was impossible to tell if it was in amusement or rage.
"Tell me," Alice tried again, and her voice, although still sounding overly pissed off, was slightly encouraging, stunning him slightly. Alice seemed to realize her tone, and blushed, glaring at the opposite wall. "Don't mistake this for something like me wanting to know because I'm worried about you or are your friend or anything." Her cheeks turned slightly redder as she released Gilbert and crossed her arms in a cute huff. "I don't befriend seaweed-heads. Now, tell me. You want your shower, don't you? Or do you intend to stand here forever stinking like something that crawled out of the Abyss?"
Gil sighed, knowing that the annoying rabbit would follow him to the bathroom if she had to should he intend to leave. "Fine," He drawled, leaning back against the wall and taking out a cigarette from his breast pocket and lighting it, beginning to puff smoke from his mouth as Alice sat down on the floor. "You... don't remember anything about who killed you, right?"
"No," Alice huffed, "If I did, I would pulverize him until he's mere dust!"
Gil closed his eyes for a single second before opening them again and said simply, without looking at her, "Then pulverize me."
"Hah..?" Alice looked up at him again blankly, then narrowed her eyes. "What the hell are you talking about, seaweed-head? Do you really want me to kick your ass that badly?!"
"I'm the one who killed you, you stupid rab -- no, ...Alice. I used a knife, I... "
It was best to tell her the truth; She had pried him to know, and now she knew. If she harbored a hatred for him, well... then they would be just like they were before, wouldn't they? Back to the way things had begun. It felt strange, unknowing, to say her name on his tongue; though, somehow, there was a certain familiarty about it, like he had whispered that name long ago, in kindness, in rage; in hatred and in love. He shook his head to clear it. Love? Yeah right! As if he could possibly love this stupid --
A kick came so swiftly to his knees that he groaned and fell to one knee, nearly dropping his cigarette. He looked at Alice, who now stood, fuming.
"You baka (1)!" She yelled, her eyes filled with absolute fury. "You seem to be the one who doesn't remember! Jack told us that the person who killed me used a pair of scissors, not a knife! And don't forget that guy loves to play with people's heads, like that stupid clown Break! According to both of them, you lived a hundred years ago, as Jack's servant, and Oz said he saw Vincent as a child killing people with scissors before he stumbled upon me in that room! You weren't anywhere in those!"
He was surprised, surprised to find that not only did she sound accurate, but that she had just tossed away an excuse to get rid of him for good.
"I don't like you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to kill you for no reason without knowing anything," She seemed offended, as if he had thought this and was trying to say that he was clearly wrong. "You also don't remember much. In another memory, you ran after me, as a servant of Jack's, and..." She tinted red again. "You had only threatened to kill me that day, it doesn't mean you were the one to end my life. Jeez, I thought in that pea of a brain of yours you at least were smart enough to know that! And you call me the stupid one."
All he could do was stare at her for a moment, his mouth agape, trying to say something, anything, but no sound came out, not a word, and he looked back to the floor. "Besides..." When he looked back up at her, he was slightly stunned to see her smiling, a smile he had seen only so rarely, just around Oz, or whenever she had gotten a meal of delicious meat. "If you died now, I wouldn't be able to release my power, would I? I still have use for you. And Oz, he wants you to be his manservant forever, right?" She offered her hand, the smile turning to a smirk. "I know that you obviously like to kneel on the ground, but must you make yourself look as low as dirt even when you're not serving the brat?"
"Oh, shut up, you.." He growled, but he found himself taking her hand anyway, and she pulled him, with a little too much force than he had expected, and the sudden gravity had caused both of them to fall onto the floor, Gilbert on top of her. Both turned a million shades of red, and Gil's now put out cigarette fell onto the hardwood floor. "Ah, damn.." Gil made to reach out with his long arm and pick it up, but Alice kicked it first, tossing it aside into the open bathroom.
He scowled, attempting to get up, but Alice had seized him back down. "Oi, what are you doing, you stupid rabbit?!"
"Shut up, loudmouth," Alice snapped. "Do you want to wake up that clown? He'd get a kick out of this."
Gil turned red again, sighing deeply. "That guy would bring it up every chance he got.. so.. let me up."
"Mmm.." Alice considered him for a moment. "No, I don't think I will." She upturned a smirk at him, seemingly getting an idea. "If that clown sees this, he'll have more reason to tease you than he already does. Oh, and your pride would be so ruined. I'd quite enjoy seeing him pick on you."
He seethed. "You... stupid ra -!"
But she cut him off with a forceful kiss, so powerful he felt his eyes bugging wide. He tried to push her away, but she was much stronger than he was for such a small, frail girl, and he could not force himself to resist. Alice explored his mouth with her tongue, running along every crevice, every inch of him. She pulled away a minute or so later as Gilbert stared at her in shock and attempted to breathe. "You even taste like seaweed," She sneered. "But... it's not so bad."
"Wait, stupid rabbit, no m--!" But she had devoured his mouth again. Once she had released him again, she easily unbottoned his shirt, and Gilbert let out an emarrassed shout, trying to pull at his wrists to stop her from going any further. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DO--!?"
Quite suddenly the sound of a door opening distracted both of them, and they looked up to see Break, who was staring at them with wide, amused eyes. "Well, well!" He paused in the doorway, dressed in a nightgown that didn't look quite manly on him, but not overly lady-like either. His large hate was hanging loosely on his head. He began cackling hysterically, pressing his hands on the sides of the door frame."Looks like Raven's finally taken the bait fish-lined and hooked! Or, shall I say, Alice has."
"WHAT?!" Gil shouted, his face completely beet red. "BREAK, GET OVER HERE AND GET THIS STUPID RABBIT OFF OF ME!" He demanded.
"Ha ha ha!" Break laughed outright, his one eye expressing utter amusement and Gil wished nothing more than to knock that eye right out of him and leave the asshole blind. "As much as I would love to help you should that have been the case, it looks to be the other way around, Raven. I'm afraid you'll just have to put up with it."
The loud voice of Break in the hall, and Gil's screams of torture tactics he planned to use on the older man caused Sharon to exit the room next to Break's, rubbing her sleepy eyes. "What in the world are you -- oh my.." She pressed a hand to her mouth as Alice proceeded to kiss Gil again.
"There goes your pride further into the ground, seaweed-head," She snickered, only loud enough for him to hear.
Gil seethed uncontrollably at the girl and growled throatily, "You're going to pay for this, you stupid rabbit!"
"Eh? What's wrong..?"
Another sound of a door being opened, and now Oz, to Gilbert's horor, was standing bewildered and open-mouthed across from Break and Sharon, directly in front of Alice and his trusted servant, taking in their positions and Gilbert's nearly undone shirt as well as Alice's mouth covering his. "Gil, Alice, what..?" He blushed slightly.
"Now, now, Oz-kun," Break laughed, "Let's not interupt them and their attempts at 'bonding', am I right, My lady?"
Sharon giggled, "Oh, yes, I think it's best if we leave them be."
Oz took another look at Gil and Alice kissing on the floor -- though it looked very protestant on Gil's part -- and said, "I'm coming with you."
"No, wait!" Gil called out sharply, as he outstretched his hand to possibly seize Oz, Sharon or Break as they passed, but grasping nothing but empty air and yelped as Alice began pulling on his white shirt, tugging it off and throwing it by the door to the bathroom. "Don't! Oz! Break! BREAK! I demand you to get your clown ass back here and help me or I swear I'll knock you through my cabinet so hard it'll be the last time you ever step foot into my mansi--!"
"Oh, I really hope you follow through, Raven!" Came Break's estatic, snickering reply as he, Sharon and Oz headed far down the hall that lead to the kitchen, all giggling silently.
"YOU!!!" Gilbert yelled as loud as he could, his face twisted in frustrated embarassment, but Alice silenced him with another kiss. When they couldn't see the three retreating figures anymore, Alice placed a finger to his lips."Now, how about that shower, Raven? You smell like rabbit." (2)
(1) - 'Baka' means "Stupid", "Idiot", or "Dumbass" in Japanese. xD
(2) - 'You smell like rabbit' is not to be taken literally of course, rofl. Alice just means she tainted Raven with her 'smell.' ;D