Title: Loneliness [Kryptonite (3 Doors Down)]
Pairing/Character: Scotty–centric, Scotty/Gaila (mentioned)
Rating: PGish
Word Count: 1,271

Summary: Sometimes, a drink may be all you can get. And sometimes, it just isn't enough.
A/N: Writing the weirdo Karaoke Bones/Kirk thing, I discovered I kind of liked putting my fics with music. So here's another one, though this one is just kind of interspaced around the music. As for Scotty, I don't know if it's just me, but he always seemed left out of things in TOS and in the new movie. The main Bridge crew obviously spent tons of time with one another, and Bones was always there since he hung out on the bridge and was BFFs with Kirk, but Scotty didn't seem like he spent much time with them. -shrugs-


I took a walk around the world
To ease my troubled mind
I left my body laying somewhere
In the sands of time
But I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon

The shot glass was filled with liquor of some sort (he'd stopped thinking about it four, or was it five?, shots ago), and he tipped it back without hesitation. It wasn't like he hadn't drank most of that shit before. The man sighed, scrubbing his face in his hands. He tipped another one back, lining the empty glass up beside the others. Shore leave wasn't the happiest time of his life. Scotty would much rather be up in space, surrounded by the content hum of the Enterprise's engines. It was where he belonged – there was nothing for him on Terra Firma anymore. Earth had never agreed with him. There was always something that hadn't clicked, and the moment he'd set foot in space (well, not techniquly, but the point was there) the engineer had felt at home.

I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah

Exiled to Delta Vega was not his idea of a fun time. Keenser was great, but the bugger wasn't the best company in the world. He could only rework the same equation so many times before going crazy. And when it still wasn't working out correctly, all Scotty could think of was banging his head into the wall. Or maybe locking himself outside the compound with a distinct lack of thermal wear. Of course, he wasn't suicidal, so the last thought had never materialized. And he was still here, wasn't he? Then James Kirk and Spock-who-was-Spock-but-wasn't showed up, and everything changed.

I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be
Something to do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

At the same time as being over the moon about the completed transwarp beaming equation and being proven right, Scotty couldn't help but be disappointed. While Spock (Spock Prime? Old Spock?) informed him that it was indeed his own equation, he hadn't been the one to discover it. Well, he had but in a sense he hadn't. So he didn't have the pride in himself that he should have for discovering it. And it was saddening. Yet another thing to add to his list of things. Everything thought that Montgomery Scott was upbeat and happy guy for the most part – they just didn't see the pain that lurked below the surface. He'd never had a group of friends to call his own, where he truly belonged. So when he and Jim had beamed aboard the Enterprise and helped save Earth, well, needless to say Scotty had been hoping.

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There a-holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite

But so far it hadn't made much difference. The Scotch burned as it slid smoothly down his throat, and Scotty sighed. Oh sure. The rest of their dysfunctional family had bonded, as best could be. They were almost always found together when not on duty, and the jokes flowed easily and the camaraderie was palpable on duty. Even McCoy was a part, and he was the only other one who didn't work specifically on the Bridge. Scotty though, Scotty was typically left out. They always invited him, but it was more of an afterthought. Like, 'oh, we might want to invite the other department head', but he'd never really felt included. Maybe he was just a morose old man, but Scotty knew he was the oldest of the crew of the youngest and brightest. McCoy was the closest in age, and he was five years younger then he at 31.

You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head,
If not for me then you'd be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

The rest of them were all under 30, and a good few years. Spock was only 26, Kirk and Uhura 25, Sulu 21, and Chekov was only 17. And, dammit, they even included the kid more so then Scotty. But then, he had the Enterprise. Others might consider having a relationship with a starship a mite bit on the weird side, but then, Scotty had never been one for conventionality, which might have contributed to his lack of friends. The Scotch was a welcome companion. During his time at Starfleet Academy (at least, before the incident with Archer's beagle which, Scotty maintained, was not really his fault) he'd worked himself practically to the bone, wanting to prove himself to all who had ever doubted him, as well as garner a good enough reputation to be stationed on the ship he wanted, the Enterprise. Of course, it hadn't worked out quite as he'd intended, but at the same time, in the end, it was worth it. And he'd still ended up with Enterprise, hadn't he?

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well,
Will you be there a-holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite

And there were benefits he supposed. Among the engineers working beneath him, Scotty found he did have a good group of guys (well, and the few women like Gaila) though many of them looked at him with stars in their eyes then as a friend. Scotty grumped, and tossed back another shot. The drawback of being brilliant he supposed. The Chief Engineer glanced around the dive he'd found himself in, hand going to check the communicator by reflex. Not that anyone was really on board the Enterprise during shore leave, other then a skeleton crew he supposed. Frankly, if not for the better tasting alcohol, he'd probably be back onboard tinkering with one thing or another. Replicators just didn't create the right taste, and the stuff the engineers created in their makeshift still was good for in deep space, but here with access to real Scotch, well, there was no reason to pass it up. The others of the departmental heads had all gone their separate ways, spending time alone. McCoy and Kirk, Spock and Uhura, and Sulu and Chekov. Leaving Scotty alone, as usual. He didn't even think they noticed anymore.

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be there
Holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
Yeah

Of course, Scotty thought with a grin, it wasn't as if any of them knew how he felt. To everyone, he was just the good natured and crazy-yet-brilliant Montgomery Scott. The man with the thick Scottish brogue and the often-outlandish notions of how to better the ship. (his ship, he often thought privately, since he knew her inside out and backwards, better then Kirk himself sometimes) The shots he'd already consumed sat heavily in his stomach, reminding him far too much of those long, long months on Delta Vega. He'd had nothing better to do then lay around and get drunk sometimes on the ice planet, bored of attempting to actually do something. That had been the pits. Scotty was a sociable person by nature, thriving off the company of others, and deprived of everyone except Keenser (the little bugger) had been torture. Though, he reflected with a drunken smile, it had been worth it to see the look on Archer's face, even if had resulted in his loss of his first in class status and disciplinary action.

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well,
Will you be there a-holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
Yeah

A warm hand on his arm caused the engineer to glance up, and a broad grin stretched across his face. She smiled softly at him, red curls bouncing as she tilted her head in invitation. Scotty glanced at the number of empty glasses on the bartop, then up into the dark eyes of the woman who stood there in her red regulation uniform. "Aye," Scotty said softly. "I think it's time I stopped too." Gaila smiled softly at her superior officer, nodding slightly. "And I'm always here." She whispered, and Scotty stood up, throwing enough credit chips on the counter to cover his tab, his hands only slightly quivering from the alcohol. "Aye." He said softly in reply, feeling the moroseness leave, at least for now. Scotty would always need a friend, and he knew that at least for now, he had Gaila. He hadn't expected to hit it off with the Orion, but when she'd walked into his office wanting to know something or another about his equation, Scotty hadn't stood a chance. She held out a hand, and Scotty took it, and for now, that was all he needed.


A/N: The song is Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down