Adam Lambert Teaches Kris Allen How To Super Shank!

Kris: Adam!

Adam: Kris!

Kris: Adam?

Adam: Yes Kris?

Kris: Can you teach me….(Adam interrupts)

Adam: How to scream?! I was wondering when you'd ask!

Kris: No not that….

Adam: Then what? (confused look)

Kris: Well you know how Michael beat me up that one time?

Adam: Yeah he kicked your ass. Haha. Country boys got swagg!

Kris: Well I was wondering. . .

Adam: Kris spit it out already!

Kris: Adam will you. . . will you teach me how to super shank?!

Adam: Kris…OMG you don't know how to super shank?! Boy where have you been?

Kris: Hey now I've been in a closet where I'm supposed to be. You venture far out and learn many things.

Adam: Oh haha Kris. You should try coming out of the closet every once in a while! It's fun!

Kris: Adam just teach me how to do it already!

Adam: Okay OKAY! *mumbling* Straight guys are so impatient!

Kris: I heard that!

Adam: Okay first lemme go get my stuffed life size man!

Kris: Oh god…you have a man dolly?!

Adam: (defensive!) He comes in handy!

Kris: Whatever you say… haha

Adam: Okay this is Stephen! *Throws Stephen at Kris*

Kris: OMG! Adam don't throw shit at me.

Adam: Oh so you didn't want me to throw you the knife too?

Kris: NO NO NO! I'll come get it!

Adam: Fine *Hands Kris knife*

Adam: Okay grab the end of that knife like your grabbing some bitches neck!

Kris: What kind of bitch?

Adam: Kris! It doesn't matter!

Kris: Can it be a gangsta bitch?!

Adam: Fine fine!

Kris: Yay!

Adam: Okay! Moving on so you got a hold of that bitches neck. . .*kris interrupts*

Kris: Gangsta bitches neck!

Adam: Ugh..youre so hopeless. Yes Kris gangsta bitches neck! Maintain a strong hold on the end of your knife!

Kris: WAIT! I thought I was holding a gangsta bitches neck!?

Adam: Kris I was using it metaphorically. Like I was exaggerating dude!

Kris: Oh. . .oops

Adam: Okay Kris if youre going to shank someone you need to call a homie. So Kris call one of your friends and ask for back up.

*Kris dials a number*

Kris: (Talking on the phone) Yeah im about to practice my shank. You got my back? Cool! *hangs up*

Adam: Who'd you call?

*Allison walks in the room*

Allison: Hey Kris I'm here as your backup!

Adam: KRIS! I meant like a homie. Like a bro!

Kris: Oh… Well Allisons tough…

Adam: Fine. . . *sigh*

Kris: Yay!

Adam: Okay! Kris Stephen is your target! Look at your target!

Kris: Who's Stephen?

Adam: Kris, the doll.

Kris: Oh, right. Okay I'm looking at Stephen.

Adam: Now take the knife and aimlessly stab Stephen.

Kris: But wouldn't that hurt him?

Adam: He's a doll!

Kris: Dolls have feelings too.

Adam: Kris Stephen isn't real! He doesn't feel anything!

Kris: But. . .but

Adam: Shank him right now! Kris do it or I'll. . .I'll call your mother!

Kris: You wouldn't!?

Adam: Oh yes I would!

Kris: Gay guys are so bitchy! Fine I'll shank the doll, but if I hurt his feelings…well it'll be your fault!

Adam: Aimlessly stab that him! Harder Kris!

Kris: I am!

Adam: Run Kris! Run from the cops! Run your cute little white ass off!

Kris: Run! Why?!!

Adam: The cops are here you douche! RUN LIKE HELL!

Kris: okay okay! I'm running!

Adam: Haha! Kris I didn't mean it! Kris wait there's a car! No Kris! Nooooo! Didn't anyone teach that boy to look both ways!??!!

*Loud smacking noise*

Adam: Uh oh…