Adam Lambert Teaches Kris Allen How To Super Shank!
Adam: Yes Kris?
Kris: Can you teach me….(Adam interrupts)
Adam: How to scream?! I was wondering when you'd ask!
Kris: No not that….
Adam: Then what? (confused look)
Kris: Well you know how Michael beat me up that one time?
Adam: Yeah he kicked your ass. Haha. Country boys got swagg!
Kris: Well I was wondering. . .
Adam: Kris spit it out already!
Kris: Adam will you. . . will you teach me how to super shank?!
Adam: Kris…OMG you don't know how to super shank?! Boy where have you been?
Kris: Hey now I've been in a closet where I'm supposed to be. You venture far out and learn many things.
Adam: Oh haha Kris. You should try coming out of the closet every once in a while! It's fun!
Kris: Adam just teach me how to do it already!
Adam: Okay OKAY! *mumbling* Straight guys are so impatient!
Kris: I heard that!
Adam: Okay first lemme go get my stuffed life size man!
Kris: Oh god…you have a man dolly?!
Adam: (defensive!) He comes in handy!
Kris: Whatever you say… haha
Adam: Okay this is Stephen! *Throws Stephen at Kris*
Kris: OMG! Adam don't throw shit at me.
Adam: Oh so you didn't want me to throw you the knife too?
Kris: NO NO NO! I'll come get it!
Adam: Fine *Hands Kris knife*
Adam: Okay grab the end of that knife like your grabbing some bitches neck!
Kris: What kind of bitch?
Adam: Kris! It doesn't matter!
Kris: Can it be a gangsta bitch?!
Adam: Fine fine!
Adam: Okay! Moving on so you got a hold of that bitches neck. . .*kris interrupts*
Kris: Gangsta bitches neck!
Adam: Ugh..youre so hopeless. Yes Kris gangsta bitches neck! Maintain a strong hold on the end of your knife!
Kris: WAIT! I thought I was holding a gangsta bitches neck!?
Adam: Kris I was using it metaphorically. Like I was exaggerating dude!
Kris: Oh. . .oops
Adam: Okay Kris if youre going to shank someone you need to call a homie. So Kris call one of your friends and ask for back up.
*Kris dials a number*
Kris: (Talking on the phone) Yeah im about to practice my shank. You got my back? Cool! *hangs up*
Adam: Who'd you call?
*Allison walks in the room*
Allison: Hey Kris I'm here as your backup!
Adam: KRIS! I meant like a homie. Like a bro!
Kris: Oh… Well Allisons tough…
Adam: Fine. . . *sigh*
Adam: Okay! Kris Stephen is your target! Look at your target!
Kris: Who's Stephen?
Adam: Kris, the doll.
Kris: Oh, right. Okay I'm looking at Stephen.
Adam: Now take the knife and aimlessly stab Stephen.
Kris: But wouldn't that hurt him?
Adam: He's a doll!
Kris: Dolls have feelings too.
Adam: Kris Stephen isn't real! He doesn't feel anything!
Kris: But. . .but
Adam: Shank him right now! Kris do it or I'll. . .I'll call your mother!
Kris: You wouldn't!?
Adam: Oh yes I would!
Kris: Gay guys are so bitchy! Fine I'll shank the doll, but if I hurt his feelings…well it'll be your fault!
Adam: Aimlessly stab that him! Harder Kris!
Kris: I am!
Adam: Run Kris! Run from the cops! Run your cute little white ass off!
Kris: Run! Why?!!
Adam: The cops are here you douche! RUN LIKE HELL!
Kris: okay okay! I'm running!
Adam: Haha! Kris I didn't mean it! Kris wait there's a car! No Kris! Nooooo! Didn't anyone teach that boy to look both ways!??!!
*Loud smacking noise*
Adam: Uh oh…