Full Summary: Naruto, a romantic and believer of faith, works as a female psychic. Sasuke, a sly and heartless logician, works both as a professor and lawyer. "Destiny" collided them when Naruto begins chasing after Sasuke's trophy-fiancé but after seeing the differences between them, Naruto decides to use everything in his power to force his ideals onto Sasuke. NaruSasu
Beta: This anti-gay-and-anti-Naruto-guy-has-good-gramma-so-I-made-him-edit-it Person
Warning: boy x boy, no likey, no read.
Disclaimer: No own so no hate, mkay? :p
A typical nine-story apartment building in a typical urban neighborhood. A plain white hall with plain cherry word doors. A simple room on the fifth floor adorned with a shit-colored door mat.
And a loud banging could be heard within.
"Hurry up, Naruto! I need to use the bathroom too!" Kiba danced around, with his thighs clamped together. He pressed his hands between his legs, trying to buy himself time, as he rammed the door with his shoulder. "Hurry up already! What are you even doing in there?"
"I'm trying to pretty myself!"
Kiba's face fell. "Pretty your –what the fuck?" He shook his head before banging himself onto the door again. "I'm not kidding, bastard. If you don't get out right now, I'm gonna' piss right here, and I'm gonna' piss wide enough to make sure you have to step in some when you finally get your ass out of there!"
Kiba waited a few seconds because he actually didn't want to urinate the floor. But before Kiba had to prepare action on his empty threat, the door swung open, revealing a wigged figure in a dress so long that dragged on the ground.
"How do I look?" Naruto asked, batting his eyelashes as he flipped his fake hair.
"Sexy," Kiba muttered sarcastically before quickly shoving the boy aside and running towards the toilet. Naruto release a loud laugh when after Kiba slammed the door closed and sighed contently.
How did they ever become friends anyways? It felt like they've known each other forever…
Probably high school. Naruto didn't keep in contact with anyone before that period of his life, and he never attended college.
"Hey Naruto, what time is it?"
"Isn't there a clock hung somewhere in there?"
"Oh right… my bad."
Naruto could swear he saw his friend smiling sheepishly through the shut door…
Oh, that's right, they met in detention. He was the "class clown" and Kiba was the "class fool", and because of the similarities they shared (which was evident even in their nicknames), they quickly became acquainted. And before they knew it, time flew by; they flunked a few courses, went to summer school, and scraped up a high school diploma. It was then that they decided to room together and pursue their dreams.
Ever since Naruto could remember, he wanted to be a psychic; and ever since Kiba got rejected by every college he applied to, he wanted to open up a café. Together, they cheated on their taxes and lied to the bank about their credentials until they finally had enough money and loans to open up a quaint little shop two miles away from main street. In this two-story establishment, Kiba was given the first floor for the café that sold coffee, tea, and scones while Naruto was given the second floor to set up Madam KoKo Mai's psychic shop.
"Okay, I'm done."
"Then hurry up and get dressed." Naruto flopped down on the couch. "Gosh, I had to wait for you to sigh and moan through your five minutes piss, and now I have to wait for you and your fickle self to pick an outfit and change."
Kiba pulled off his shirt and threw it at Naruto, hitting him in the face. "Hey, hey, you have no right to complain. Blame yourself for egotistically checking yourself out in the mirror for half an hour."
Naruto disdainfully removed the sweaty Tee from his face and threw it to the ground. "Oh, look who's calling me egotistic. And I'm surprised you even know what that word means."
Kiba flipped Naruto his middle finger before turning back to his closet. Naruto tried to flip him back but when he realized his friend wasn't paying any attention to him, he grabbed the slipper lying on his right and aimed it for Kiba's rear.
Ever since Naruto was young, he believed in the unexplainable and the supernatural. Is there a God? Are there ghosts or spirits? Is there an afterlife? Does astrology work? And for him, the answer had always been either a "maybe" or a resounding "yes". Of course, a "maybe" isn't good enough for most people, and even the "yes" is often discredited because of the lack of physical proof, but it didn't matter to Naruto. He believed it, and that's what mattered.
Of course, as to why he wasn't just a psychic but a female one…. There was a very good reason for that.
"Hot girls," Naruto muttered under his breath. Girls were, after all,usually more willing to reveal themselves to their own sexes, and Naruto wanted to take full advantage of that.
"Huh, what did you say?" Kiba finally finished changing and was adjusting the belt that secured his black slacks when he heard a mummer escape his friends' lips.
"Nothing," Naruto shook his head. "Let's go already."
"Fine." Kiba jammed his shoes onto his feet and opened the door before abruptly stopping. "Why do you have to take my car every day?"
The blond in the tangled brunette wig snorted as he stooped down to grab his own shoes. "Do you really expect a woman dressed like this to ride a bike like mine to work?"
"Well, can't you take the bus or something? Or at least put a paper bag over your head as we walk out?" Kiba looked his friend up and down, pausing to stare an extra second as his overstuffed bra. "Cus' no offense, man, but you're a pretty ugly woman. I bet the reason I can't get a girlfriend is because they think you're my mom and that I'm a mama's boy. –Or worse, they think you're my…"
Kiba stopped to shiver at the unspoken image, and Naruto rolled his eyes.
"You say that like it's a bad thing. I mean, if I make an ugly woman, that just means I make a sexy and handsome young gentleman who was gifted with wide shoulders, sturdy muscles, nice--"
"Pff," and Kiba emphasized the first letter by spitting slightly on the blond's face. After Naruto, with an amused grimace, wiped his face and kicked Kiba in the shin, the two finally left the apartment.
"We really should get rid of that," Naruto motioned to the carpet as Kiba scuffled to lock the door. "Didn't your old dog crap on that before?"
"Yeah but that's why I want to keep it. It's a nice memory."
The dog had passed away about three months ago, and Kiba was such a sentimental idiot…
Naruto smiled and slapped him on the back, earning him an indignant yelp.
Another reason why we're such good friends.
Sakura pulled back the curtains, letting the sunlight illuminate her brightly-colored hair. She struggled to unlock and open the window but could only manage a small gap. She thinned her lips before sighing, releasing her hold of the edges as she tried to breath in as much fresh air as she could.
Lately, Sakura hasn't been in the best of health. Although she was sleeping well and working out as much as she always did (which consisted of the minimum energy spent showering and walking home to/from the bus stop), she felt a constant strain in her nerves; a constant hump weighing down her back. But she didn't know why.
Sakura shook her head and walked a few steps into the kitchen. There sat, at the table, a handsome black haired man dressed in a neatly pressed suit. He was holding a red pen, jotting down comments on the stack of paper before him.
"Would you like anything to eat? It's about Brunch time, isn't it?" Sakura asked as she walked past him to open the fridge. The man did not answer; instead, he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and circled the score he wrote on the top of the page: 88.
When she noticed his lack of response, she called out to him. "Sasuke?"
"Do you want anything to eat?"
Sakura frowned. Now she remembered why she hasn't been in too good a mood: Sasuke.
They had been engaged for a while, about two months, although technically, they had been engaged by their parents since the age of seven. And even though she only started living with him last week, she could already feel her cheer being drained out of her.
Sasuke… It wasn't that she didn't love him. On the contrary, he was the love of her life. She just never noticed, when they were still living apart, his utter lack of care, humanity, and interest in conversation. What worried and aged her the most, however, was her paranoia in thinking he did not return her feelings even in the slightest. And because of this, she always tried her best to please him. After all, what reasons did she have to believe he married her for anything besides convenience and image?
She walked over to him and smiled politely.
"What are you doing?"
Ever since she moved in, she's been trying to open him up with small talk and although it doesn't appear to be working, that didn't mean she should simply give up. And maybe –a frightening thought but still a maybe-, if he didn't love her, he would eventually fall for her not only because of her beauty and intelligence but also for her perseverance and wonderful personality.
"Anything I can help with?"
He frowned, displeased with the interruption, and turned to her to show his narrowed eyes. But deciding to be polite, he voiced out his mental message. "I doubt you can."
She wavered under the gaze but pressed on.
"Are you sure about that?" she asked in the most confident manner she could muster up.
"Well, do you know anything about Gideon vs. Wainwright, the Sixth Amendment, and the irony of the fact that he was guilty to begin with?"
A nervous sweat glided down her cheek; she just walked right into that trap. She was a fourth year college student double majoring in Biology and Psychology, and she had long left her knowledge of government in high school.
He coolly turned her shoulders to her. "Then yes, I am sure you can't help," and went back to reading through his students' reports.
Sakura stood motionless for a while, a bit … he was the love of her life. A born genius who graduated early with honors and received a Law and teaching degrees all by the age of twenty-three, Sasuke was quite the perfect man. In fact, if there was a word in the dictionary for "beyond perfect", Sasuke Uchiha's picture would be posted right underneath as an example. And often, Sakura wondered if their families had not originally forced the marriage or if Sasuke had found a woman who better suited his status, would they even be together?
She felt her face getting red from the combination of embarrassment and disappoint that took on the mask of rage. "What's wrong with you?" she shouted. "Would it kill you to make a conversation?"
But when her fiancé barely reacted, only giving her a quick side glance, she stormed out into the hall.
"Fine, since you don't care about me, I'll just go out, dress like a slut, pretend to be single, and find someone else willing to make me his wife. Maybe he'll actually talk to me!"
And even though she knew her outburst was a bit uncalled for, she stomped up the stairs and into her room to change. After all, what reasons did she have to believe he married her for anything besides convenience and image?
A few minutes later, after Sakura changed into a pair of short shorts, a brightly colored camisole, and a pair of sandals, Sakura descended back down the stairs. And sure, it wasn't that bad but it was "slutty" enough for Sakura; she was a bit of a tomboy at heart.
"I'm leaving," she tried to announce nonchalantly as she quickly tied her hair up in a short ponytail. Then, taking care to emphasize her mood to Sasuke, she slammed the front door loudly and did not bother to lock up.
Sasuke continued grading the reports for a few more minutes. After he finished marking the one currently in his hands, he got up and walked over to fasten the locks.
"Over-emotional pain in the ass," he muttered before walking back into the kitchen.
Sakura wandered down the streets, trying her best to sway her hips. But when she realized how pointless the action was without Sasuke around to get jealous, stopped and strolled past the stops in her usual upright manner.
What was she in the mood for? Where did she want to go? She did have a twelve page term paper due tomorrow on neurotransmitters and MRI scanning, and she barely started the research… some coffee, perhaps?
She passed a few more stores, in search of a jar of instant coffee, but stopped in front of a nearby café.
" 'Coffee Me'? Cute name," she said to no one in particular, and soon found herself inside.
"A cup of Americano, a cup of Café Breva, and two cups of Dragon Well Green tea," Kiba muttered as he scribed illegibly onto a note pad. "But we don't serve croissants. Would you prefer scones instead?" And after the family of four nodded and placed their orders, Kiba quickly wrote it down –four Griddle scones, two cranberry and two blueberry- and went to the counter.
It was a typical business day at his café, with about three of the ten tables occupied by consumers, and Kiba was feeling overworked. Even though he had started his café shop quite a while ago, and even though three tables occupied out of ten wasn't much, he had been unable to hire any extra help because of his monthly loan payments. And after trying to balance three to four cups and plates on each arm, he sighed in defeat when they began wobbling to a near fall.
It would be nice if he could get some help… and it hit him.
"Naruto!" he hollered up the stairs. It wasn't like "Madam KoKo Mai" ever had many customers anyways. "Come down here and help me!"
But when after a few minutes passed and no one came racing down the steps, Kiba scowled and placed the orders down on a nearby counter. He rolled up his sleeves and began walking up the stairs when the door suddenly swung open, revealing a pink-headed girl in a ponytail. Suddenly, Kiba forgot all about Naruto and ran to greet the girl.
"Hello!" he said in an overenthusiastic tone of voice. "Welcome to my quaint little café."
And when she smiled, his face melted in a mush.
"Ah, yes," she replied in an oh-so dainty voice, so cute that Kiba couldn't stop checking her out. "How did you come up with the name for this shop?"
"Oh…," Kiba paused. Oh, what nice legs she has. "It's just a play on words, I guess. You know, 'feed me' except 'feed' is replaced with 'coffee'."
The girl giggled at that and Kiba walked her to an empty table.
"What would you like today, miss?" he asked after running back to the counter for his notepad and a menu. She glanced at the menu before closing it.
"What do you recommend?"
He smiled. "Well, our cream tea scones has always been pretty popular. It's light and cakey with sweetness and flavor. And if you would like some, it goes great with jam."
"Sure, I'll have one of those. But honestly, I came here mainly for the coffee. Any recommendations for that?"
But before Kiba could reply, loud footsteps descending the stairs caused the whole café to fall silent. Every head turned towards the rickety wooden ledges, as if waiting for something to happen, when a "woman" finally appeared. And when she noticed the staring eyes, she smiled and extended her arms out, as if she was asking for a hug from everyone in the room.
"Madam KoKo Mai is here!" she sang. "I'm sorry to have made you all wait but I am finally here!" She began walking towards Kiba but quickly stopped, thinking this was the perfect time to do some shameless advertising. "I'm work on the second floor if anyone needs a quick psychic reading or what not. I do tarot cards, future readings, and even contacting the dead! Just stop on by after your meals and I'll see what I can do."
She winked exaggeratedly at everyone, smudging the mascara all over her right eye and Kiba sighed before running up to her, yanking her away to a nearby corner.
"What are you doing down here," he hissed. She stuck her tongue and patted him on the shoulders.
"Why, good sir, I doth believeth you toldth me to come back here…th." Kiba rolled his eyes at the Cheshire grin that reached cheek to cheek.
"No, I didn't! I asked Naruto to come down here, not Madam CooCoo head."
"It's KoKo Mai; get it right."
Kiba narrowed his eyes. "Yes, I know it's 'KoKo Mai'. I was making a joke." Madam Mai let a manly chuckle escape her mouth before returning to her falsetto-ed voice.
"Well, I wasn't sure since it wasn't even funny. I thought it was just you being your usual stupid self." Kiba his hand, his fingers balled up in a fist, ready to punch the woman. He was, however, was interrupted.
"Um… excuse me?" he turned around to see the pink-haired customer from before, standing rather timidly in front of both of them. Her eyes roamed to Kiba's fisted hand towards the woman in the bad wig questioningly, and Madam Mai decided to answer the lady's unspoken question.
"Can you believe this man?" Madam Mai huffed, feigning the look of a wounded animal. "What kind of ape would hit a woman? Feel ashamed of yourself!" she said as she slapped Kiba on the shoulders. "Feel very ashamed!"
"Ashamed!" and she began slapping his furiously. After she felt he was bruised enough, she turned to the pretty girl, who she assumed to be in her early twenties, and grinned, as if she didn't just beat up and pushed away the café manager. "So what's your name? And can I help you with anything?"
She was taken aback but answered anyways. "My name is Sakura-"
"As in Ms. I-am-single Sakura or Mrs. I-am-not-single Sakura?"
"Eh?" She self consciously hugged herself when she realized Madam Mai was walking around her, looking her up and down. She smiled nervously before continuing. "Well, that's sort of what I wanted to ask you about."
"I… was… wondering," she coughed and straightened herself up. "I was wondering how much a tarot card reading was. I want to see if my fiancé and I have a future together…"
Madam Mai stopped her pacing. "You're engaged?"
She checked the girl out again before answering. "You guys don't have a future. You should break up."
"Ehh??" And Madam Mai broke out into a mischievous beam.
"So other single men could have a chance at you!" She burst into a fit of laughter, laughing uncontrollable at her own joke. "Okay, okay," she was trying to catch her breath, "I'll be serious now." She took in a deep breath and collected herself. Then, she motioned for Sakura to follow her up the stairs.
When they finally reached the top, Madam Mai drew open the hanging beads and made room for a hesitant Sakura to enter. Inside was dark, with the shutters closed and no visible electric lighting. The only thing that kept Sakura from stumbling into a fall was the illumination provided by a few sandalwood candle scattered around the room. She could make out a bookshelf, two tables, a few chairs and a cabinet.
"Please, take a seat," Madam Mai said as she sat herself in the bigger of the two tables, the one without the crystal ball. Sakura noted that upon entering the room, Madam Mai seemed different. More serious? Without the air of laidback humor surrounding her.
Sakura took the seat opposite her and fidgeted.
"Usually, a reading is fifteen dollars but because this is your first time here and the reading I think best fits the situation is a relatively quick one, I'll charge only ten." Sakura nodded pointlessly since Madam Mai had no real way of seeing it; she was turned towards the cabinet behind her, searching through its contents for her pack of tarot cards.
When she finally found them, neatly wrapped in a piece of darkened-gold cloth, she turned back to Sakura.
"Now, can you explain to me the situation again?" And she listened to Sakura while organizing the cards, making sure each was facing the same upright direction.
"I guess I'm just afraid my fiancé doesn't truly love me."
"So this is a love reading?"
Sakura nodded. "I guess." And Madam Mai hands her the deck of cards, motioning for Sakura to shuffle them.
"Focus on the problem as you are shuffling –and it may help if you close your eyes. Picture your emotions as colored air surrounding your body and try to pass it through it hands and into the cards. When you feel like you have completed that, place the cards onto the table."
As she shuffled, Sakura tried hard not to think about Sasuke's reaction if he knew she was actually trying this "spiritual non-scientific crap". And when she finished shuffling, the placed the cards down, and Madam Mai cut the deck in half.
"We will do a Llew's Spread, which is used to illuminate the problem or situation. Let's start." she said as she began drawing cards, placing five in the shape of a cross.
2 1 4
"The Llew's Spread is modeled after the different times of day," she explained for no apparent reason as she picked up the card in the middle before quickly putting it down. "This one here, the Three of Swords, represents 'Sun' and it shows the hidden aspects of the situation. The Three of Swords means you are hurt, facing heartache and fear, probably towards isolation or separation. Is your fiancé cheating on you? This card often implies the hurt comes from a triangle dynamic in relationship.
"The card to the left is the Seven of Cups, representing 'Dawn' and the situation that is manifesting. This card indicates that you have many dreams and numerous, sometimes conflicting desires. The Seven of Cups is usually a positive card, implying humor, thrills, and the fertility of the mind but it can also mean surprises and unexpected turn of events."
Madam Mai stopped to look at Sakura, to make sure she was still listening. She continued when she said the young lady at the edge of her seat, intensely absorbed by the cards
"The card on the top, 'Noon', represents the issue that cannot be ignored, and it is the Five of Cups. This means you cannot ignore the feeling of being emotionally manipulated, cannot ignored the disappointment you feel. It means you will feel disbelief and your heart will go through a slow healing process once you finally accept this truth. –But don't feel sad just yet!" she said when she noticed that Sakura's eyes were watering. "I'm sure your fortune won't be that bad. I mean, look! The next card a positive one!" But she was lying through her teeth. Only the last card, the fifth card, mattered and that card wasn't too positive either.
"Look at this card; it's the Knight of Cups. The Knight of Cups is a romantic man who is considerate, creative, and artistic. This card implies a friend or lover who is loyal, brings forth new philosophies, and gives good romantic advice. In this position, the position of 'Dusk', the Knight of Cups represents the help you will receive."
"That's wonderful!" she beamed. "Finally, a good card! I wonder who he is…"
"Ah… yes," But Madam Mai quickly continued on, feeling a bit uneasy for leading the girl to think her final outcome was positive. And if she became overexcited, she'd crash down twice as hard.
"Let's move on then, shall we…" And she pointed to the card on the bottom, trying to discreetly cover the name of the card with her manly finger. She however realized it was not working when Sakura gasped softly. Madam Mai let an awkward moment of silence pass by.
"Let's continue again…," and she withdrew her finger.
"Your final card is The Death and it is in the position of 'Midnight', representing the resolution of your situation. People often confuse the card death with the actual idea of dying," she added, trying to console the girl, "but it doesn't have to mean just that. Death more often means a change, an evolution. And even if the transformation is necessary, it could bring about fear because of how sudden it appeared but it doesn't mean it's a transformation for the worse…"
"And that is my tarot reading?" she asked when Madam Mai's voice trailed off. She kept her head down, glancing at her knees.
"Yes, that is your tarot reading." Madam Mai looked cautious at the girl. "It's not that bad of a future, right?"
And suddenly, Sakura stood up. She reached into her pocket and placed a bill on the table. When she finally lifted up her face, she had on a forced smile.
"It was a very interesting reading but I'm not sure if I'll believe it. Now if you'll excuse me," she began walked towards the exit, "I've got to get going now. I'm sure Sasuke will be worried since I've been out for so long."
She ran down the stairs, ignoring a confused Kiba who tried to wave her goodbye.
"What's with her?" Kiba asked when Naruto came down seconds after, but he didn't answer Kiba either. Instead, he pulled off his wig and dress and threw it at Kiba before running after her.
"Idiot," Kiba muttered to himself as he disdainfully pulled everything off his face; a few hairs from the wig were stuck to his opened mouth. "What if someone saw him changing like that?"
He looked to his right, then to his left. Noting that all the customers were too absorbed in their respective conversations to notice, he sighed and stuffed the costume behind the counter.
"I'm home," Sakura said quietly, more to herself than anyone else. She stepped inside and softly closed the door behind. When she walked towards the kitchen and noticed Sasuke in the same position she had left him, she sighed to herself.
Probably didn't even notice she was gone… And she beganup the stairs into her room to write her paper.
She didn't notice the blond who had followed her home, who was staring in from the window, wondering who "Sasuke" was. She also didn't notice the same blond memorizing her address before finally walking away.
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