DISCLAIMER: I do not own twilight or any of its characters... :(
A/N: Hey guys look what I got! LOL I apologize for leaving you all for so long. I have missed writing this story so much. But here it is so let me know what ya'll think? And thanks for sticking around with me it really meant alot. anyway I won't waste anymore time on this. As i said befor let me know what you think...
Winds of change
It didn't bother me in the least to be freed nearly last of the restraint Bella placed on me when she left. My mind was already restrained as I tried to view Bella's future and was shown nothing. I would have been sure, once she became like us my vision of her would clear. I tried to understand what had just transpired between Bell and Irina. My own anger and betrayal still stung new. Our family had finally fallen apart. I failed them, I failed them all. I mentally shook that thought from my mind '.NO.' I will not allow my family to end like this. My determination became my lone source of comfort. I heard my name being called by several of my family members and could hear the worry in my sweet loves voice. I did my best to block out all noise in an attempt to concentrate. I closed my eyes tightly, nothing I did was helping. I once again despite my recent vow felt my heart slip into despair, and then as if a dream, my body stiffened as I saw flashes of bright colors through the darkness. Images began to form, though I could not quite make them out. I felt my hands freed and quickly pressed my middle and index fingers firmly on my temples. I sat still concentrating on Bella, the images were still distorted and moving through my mind more quickly, but the fact that I could see anything when it came to Bella was more than I could hope for.
I felt Jaspers soothing touch on my back as he began rubbing small circles before pulling me into his lap. As soon as he pulled me to him the images began to fade and go dark once again. Why? Why was I allowed those small glimpses only to put back in the dark? I quickly buried my face in his chest.
"Alice?" I heard Carlisle's voice rather then saw him. I nodded minutely knowing he would know I was acknowledging him. "Are you alright?"
I let out a soft sigh and released my hands from my head, while sliding from Jaspers lap onto the floor. "I saw her… well… I think it was her; it was her who I was concentrating on. I saw Edward in the shadows there is no mistaking the silhouette of that hair." I whispered so only he could hear me. For the first time all day I saw the corners of the man I considered my father lips curve up ever so slightly. I was about to return he gestures when a panic shriek ripped through the silence.
"WE HAVE TO GO AFTER THEM!" Everyone's head snapped around at the sound of Kate's voice. "IRINA'S NOT IN HER RIGHT MIND…ELAZAR!" she spun quickly to face him. Her voice more controlled "We have to help her! You know she would never hurt a child. Even though the talk was taboo, you heard her speak of loving, and, wanting children… though she would never dare make the same mistake our mother did." Her body spun to face Tanya who was standing with Charlie, still in a state of shock." At the clinic, who watches the children while the parents are being treated?" The plea in her eyes was heart wrenching, I felt Carlisle stir beside me but Carmen beat him to it. She was by her side in a flash taking her shaking form tightly in her arms. I looked around the room taking in stock of who was still here. I heard Edward's departure as soon as he was freed but could not make out the conversation between him and Jasper. Speaking of Jasper where had my husband gone.
My eyes searched the room never resting on him I turned toward the stairs as I heard someone coming down them. The expression of Jaspers face gave nothing away as to what he was holding in his hands. Just as he approached Eleazar and Carlisle Images of us all holding on to one another flew through my mind. Eleazar was reading a letter that had been written by Irina. She addressed the letter to all of us in some way or another. My heart sank as I listened to Eleazar in my vision and hearing it all before anyone has even opened it was like a sharp blow to my midsection I could feel my anger begin to build again I knew what was coming I saw Carmen breaking down with Kate still wrapped tightly in her arms. I saw Esme bury herself in Carlisle's arms as he rocked her back and forth. I watched as Rose made no move to show emotion, nor did she bother to show any human attributes. She didn't blink, breathe or move. She was a perfect marble statue with Emmett just standing securely behind her waiting, and watching if she were to show some sign of needing him. I knew I wasn't going to be able to watch this so I walked quickly to Jaspers side and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.
"They are going to need you… I will take Masen and be just outside." I froze for a moment, taking in the fact that Masen was no longer in the room. My eyes flashed to every face in the room. Jasper saw my sudden panic and became rigid at once. I hushed him quietly.
"I will find him… say nothing." Jaspers brow furrowed and he reached for my arm. I placed my hand on his, for a brief moment and tried to give him the most reassuring smile I could muster. I slipped out. As I was standing on the porch taking in the sights and scents around, I could hear the sound of Eleazar's voice as he began to read the letter. Just then the wind changed direction bringing Masen's sweet smell to my nose. I immediately took off after him. My mind began to berate myself. It's not like it was a hard job to keep an eye on my nephew but at the first test, I lost him. My body began to move faster as the thought of him coming upon Irina and Bella began to seep into my mind. As his scent became stronger I noticed his sent was coming from the opposite direction, from where Bella and Edwards's scents were. The trail I was following was almost that of a person, who was lost. The trail looped and weaved all over back tracking. I had to catch myself once, to keep from laughing as I noticed I was spinning in circles. My lightened mood quickly changed as another scent filled my nose. A sick sweet smell, I never much cared for, and considering that the smell was of a Vampire's demise. I fought the panic that begin to grip me.
I moved faster knowing I was coming closer to him. As I cleared a small group of trees I spotted him and froze in my tracks. About 100 feet in front of me sat Masen, his back was to me and he was sitting with his legs crossed. The way his head was angled, he appeared to be looking at something.
"Masen are you alright?" I said walking at a human pace so I didn't frighten him. He never answered; he just continued to stare at whatever it was in front of him. I couldn't help the startled gasp and quickly covered my mouth, as I finally saw what he was sitting in front of. Damien or what was left of him, which only appeared to be ash and a few remnants of his clothing. I slowly lowered myself down so that I was almost at Masen's level.
"Masen honey what are you doing out here by yourself?"I raised my hand to touch his shoulder and he flinched back and for the first time I noticed he was clutching something firmly in his hands.
"Masen… what is that you have in your hands?" I waited as patiently as I could and still I got no answer. I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable the longer I sat near Damien's ashes. "Masen sweetheart, why don't we go back to the house? I'm sure the others are missing you right now. Your Mom and Dad should be back soon." I said as I started to get to my feet. He still was not acknowledging my presence other than to shy away from it. I was starting to worry that I may need help, when he spoke suddenly without taking his eyes from the ashes in front of him.
"I know, I'm not supposed to say this… but… he was not all a bad dad." His child like voice held such sincerity in it. He raised his tiny hand and showed me what it was, that he was holding on so tightly to. It was a man's ring. It had a ruby set deep in the tarnished gold band. It looked very old, well over a century, possibly a family heirloom. I didn't know what to say. I slowly crouched down next to him and ran my hand over the back of his head. I smoothed down his hair in a calming manner. From what Bella had told me, was that she had blocked Masen's ability to read her or Damien's mind when they were in there home; especially in the bedroom. Bella suffered greatly in silence. Bearing it, in order to ensure her son was spared, as much as possible; the hell of being there.
"It's alright to feel bad when someone dies Masen…" I slid my hand over his shoulder and placed my arm around him pulling him a little closer. I it was so easy to hold him and feel so connected there was something almost up lifting about him almost to the point it didn't seem natural. I rested my cheek on the top of his head before continuing. "Our compassion is what keeps a part of us still human."
"Do you fink he evew… loved me? " He flipped around quickly to face me; his eyes were glistening with tears. "I always tried to be good… I tried nevew to make him mad… like a good boy." The crack in his voice gave away the pain he was feeling. Was he actually blaming himself for Damien's death? Was he thinking had he been a better little boy things would have ended differently? How was I going to explain to him that there was no other outcome but the one that had transpired? Though I had not seen what was going to happen I knew this was the only option.
His eyes were searching mine for some sort of bearing of how he should be feeling. I was stunned into silence as I searched for the correct way to answer him. I couldn't believe no one stopped to think of how this was going to affect him. In the long run, as a vampire it is easy for us to compartmentalize our feelings. Then again Masen wasn't a full vampire, he was part human as well and with that came inner confliction. Not to mention he was still young and still had much to learn about both species. I had to admit I was not the best at dealing with Human emotions especially ones as fragile as a child. I suddenly wished Esme were here. She had a way of explaining things so delicately having been a mother to us all. Trying to channel Esme I closed my eyes and gave the most honest answer I could.
"Masen how could anyone not love you?" I said pulling him even closer to me. "You are so, so, special my darling. Your mother and father love you more than anyone in this whole world. Edward loved you before he met you. We all did." I said kissing the top of his head. "But…" Masen started but I placed my finger on the dimple between his little lips.
"No Masen… there are no buts in this family. Our love has no conditions, do you understand? We love you no matter what. Nothing that happened was your fault. Nothing Damien did was your fault. Damien died a long time ago and his humanity along with it. His idea of love was twisted and flawed. He lost his heart many years ago." I turned him so I could see his face. I was still fascinated to see Edwards eyes gazing back at me. He held such emotion in his features that you didn't really need to have Edwards gift to know what he was thinking. The sincerity and innocence that was staring back at me was almost overwhelming, it made me long for the memories of my youth, memories that will forever be shrouded in darkness for me. To see life though the eyes of a child is a great gift that should never be taken for granted. I slowly exhaled my breath, getting a grip on my own emotions before continuing.
"Did you know when we vampires fall in love its forever?" I said widening my eyes to accentuate just how long that was. "That's what your mom and dad have together. Your dad would travel to the ends of the earth to find her and he did. He never stopped searching for her. She is his heart and he is hers. Just like uncle Jasper has mine, Uncle Emmett has Auntie Rose's and Grandpa Carlisle has Grandma Esme's"
My eyes nearly pooled with venom as I watched his head drop and he placed his free hand over his heart.
"Who has my heart?" he said softly slowly looking up at me.
"It's a secret your heart will keep until you're older." My head shot up to Esme standing a few feet away with her and over her heart as well.
"But I will tell you this my darling, you have captured my heart from the moment I saw you." She smiled softly and slowly crouched down to his level. I don't know how long she was standing there or how much she heard but from the look on her face it was long enough. I watched a smile slowly build on Masen's face until he was smiling so big you could see almost all his tiny teeth. With that he raced from my lap to Esme's waiting arms.
She stood Masen still wrapped in her arms after a quiet moment he shifted in her arms to look at her. I watched silently as he just stared at her as if trying to figure out some sort of silent riddle. The he leaned in as if only Esme could hear him.
"Grandma does Grandpa know I took your heart?" Masen whispered with a familiar smirk.
I loud giggle escaped my lips before I managed to restrain my laughter although it wasn't necessary considering Esme's head flew back and for the first time in months I listen to the sound I didn't realize I missed 'genuine' laughter. When Esme composed herself a few seconds later she smiled brightly at Masen; gently rubbing her nose against his.
"I will let you in on a secret sweetheart." She said mimicking his move. "Grandma's have so much love in their heart's that there is plenty enough for everyone." With that being said she placed a small kiss on his cheeks.
"I love you too Grandma." He said wrapping his arms around her neck once again.
I got to my feet brushing off the debris from the forest floor. "Esme what brings you to this neck of the woods?" I say winking at Masen as he turns to smile at me.
"Edwards Back at the house You two have been gone for quite a while I would have called but you left your phone at the house we are on our way back to the airport it's time to go home. 'Home' the realization of that word hit me and I absentmindedly began bouncing on my toes before another thought broke through my excitement.
"Um where's Bella?" I said trying to hide my concern with a humorless giggle.
"She will meet us at the airport; there was something she needed to do alone." She didn't explain any further and I didn't press the subject. I would just ask Edward when we returned. As we made our way back to the house I couldn't help but feel the need to get to the airport as soon as possible.
Not returning to the house with Edward to get Masen was hard, but what I was about to do now seemed much more difficult. As I made my way back to the place Irina had fallen I clutched the letter she had written tightly in my hand. Although I was not sure I would ever find peace with what I had done; I needed to find peace with what she had done. She had gone to great lengths to punish me for the loss of her love and in a way she was right. Had I not been living in my nostalgia, I would not have gone to the meadow. I would not have run into Laurent. I'm not saying he would not have met the same fate. He had no treaty with the wolves and killing vampires was what they are meant to do. But it would not have been because of me. It would not have been because I was a foolish girl, trying to recapture a past I longed to re-live. I had to stop my mind from searching for every possible way this could have ended differently. There was no point in it any longer. It was over, choices were made and actions that can't be undone. I pushed myself faster; I needed to finish this so I could go home. So we all could go home.
When I reached the area where it had happened I found myself slowing down. As I neared the clearing and the spot when Irina had met her fate I could see that most of her ashes were gone and knew her family had taken them. My heart was broken for her family. And knowing I did this to them, is breaking it even more. They have been family to the Cullen's for decades and now their bond was facing an uncertain future.
I walked at a human pace the last few yards to where the smoke was barely drifting silently as it lingered near the ground. My legs suddenly felt weak, and I didn't fight the need to keep standing. I tentatively drop to my knees; not noticing the broken branches and rubble I had landed on. I sat back on my heels with a huff exhaling all the air in my lungs. I sat in silence taking in my surroundings for the first time since it happened. The destruction before me was shocking. I could see the rage that had been used to make this kind of devastation. I knew right then, I never wanted to feel that ever again.
As I stared at where Irina's ash's had laid, I took a large unnecessary breath. I closed my eyes briefly before beginning.
"Hey." I stopped, internally giving myself a humorless laugh. I thought to myself 'who says hey to someone they barely knew and now they were dead because of them?'.
I sat in silence once again and began fidgeting with my fingers. I open and closed my mouth a couple of times. I suddenly felt like a fish out of water and I was sure that I was looking like one as well. I decided I was just going to say what was in my mind to say.
"You knew Edward better than I do, you knew him a lot longer. So you know that Edward doesn't believe he has a soul; but I know he was wrong. I know you can hear me. First, I want to say is, I'm sorry things happened as they did. I wish it could have gone differently. Second, I know why you did it. I can't honestly say I wouldn't have done the same thing. Actually that came out wrong. I would not have done the things you did, or gone to the extreme you did… I. When I think about ever losing Edward my thoughts become irrational. I know I could never live without him or my son. I only meant that I know why you would want it all to end. You made some very poor choices Irina, and a lot of people got hurt because of them; your family, the Cullen's. I mean did you even stop to think about what losing you would do to your sisters? If you knew you were going to die, and I know I'm a stranger to you, but I was a part of this family too; did you even think of what that would do to me and my relationship with your family?" I could feel my anger rising once again and quickly calmed myself.
Before I could utter another word, a voice came from behind me, startling me. I must have been so caught up with my rant that I didn't notice Tanya had come up behind me.
"There is only so much loss a person can handle, even for a vampire." Her voice was soft and remorseful. I didn't know what to make of it. Before I could move she was kneeling next to me. I couldn't bring myself to face her. I watched as she reached toward where Irina had laid she hesitated for a moment before she slowly lowered her hand to the ground. My breath was becoming slightly ragged as I watched her. She mournfully ran her fingers stirring up the dirt and the remainder of the ash.
"I'm sorry Tanya." The words came out in almost a whisper as I felt like my throat was constricting from the large lump that was growing there. I could barely get the words out.
"Bella… No one blames you for what you had to do." She said retracting her hand but never taking her eyes off of it. I watched as she began to rub her thumb across the three fingers that still had dirt and ash mixed on them.
"How can you say that? I took your sister from you… I…I… ruined your family." I said looking down at my hands. I stiffened slightly and her hand slid atop of mine.
"Bella look at me…" she shook my hand softly.
I slowly slid my hand from beneath hers and turned my head to face hers. She laid her own hand back gently in her lap. She wasn't offended for she knew this was hard for both of us. Seeing her like this was bewildering and disorienting. She had always been such a threat to me, it was hard to see her as anything else; but now having destroyed her family, how was I to feel now?
"I will miss my sister… she was my best friend." She stopped for a moment and I saw her eyes flow back toward the place Irina was, before focusing back on me. "She was family; we will all mourn this loss." My face began to drop to the ground along with my heart. She quickly raised her hand to my chin to stop me. "But so are you…" My breath was almost taken away when I saw the sincerity in her eyes.
"What Irina did to you… to all of us, will take time to heal. And you should not be the one apologizing to anyone. We should be apologizing to you. Bella because of what Irina did you were tortured for so long; as was Edward. He never gave up looking for you. He never rested, he never gave up, or thought of giving up" She lowered her hand back to her lap and gave me a soft smile.
"I know it's not going to be easy Bella but you are going to have to try to move on. You have earned a little happiness. Don't worry about the rest of us. We will be ok and someday our family will be whole again. Who knows, someday I may have the love you do." My thoughts immediately went to Edward and my heart dropped in my stomach. I was on my feet in a flash.
"Tanya You almost had me for a minute!" I said with a spiteful look. With that Tanya was on her feet as well.
"Bella, no you don't understand! Please." She said her voice pleading. "I don't want Edward anymore."
"Right." I said turning to leave. I had had enough and now I knew for sure she was never going to change. I began to feel stupid for almost believing what she was saying was the truth. Before I could leave she grabbed my arm.
"Bella stop! I Love Charlie!" I froze and she dropped her hand quickly as if it hurt to touch me. After what felt like an eternity, though I'm sure it was more like a few seconds; I turned to look at her.
"What? What did you just say?" My voice quivered hiding none of my shock.
"I love your father… very deeply" her eyes never left mine.
"How? When?" My now limitless mind was running through hundreds, if not thousands of questions. Before the reality of what she and her sister were set in. "You stay away from my father! Do you think I'm stupid! All the kind words and the heartfelt concern was all a game to you!" My anger was almost immediate, building quickly to rage. I could feel the ground beneath my feet begin to vibrate. If I didn't get my anger under control, something bad was going to happen.
"You need to leave Tanya! Now!" I hissed between my teeth and balled my hands into tight fists.
"No Bella, you need to hear me out… Please." She said taking a quick step forward. My hand shot out freezing her where she stood.
"I know what you and your sisters do to men, you use them for what you can, and then leave them. I won't let you do that to Charlie. He will not be another one of your conquests!" I could taste the bitter sting of the venom as it began to fill my mouth.
"Your right…" she whispered as if caught in a lie there was no way out of. "Bella, your right. Men were mere play things to us. We enjoyed their company for a short time, but soon bored of them when they no longer purposed a challenge. But this is different Bella. I adore your father's company. When he first arrived at our home and after his change was complete, I was asked to tutor him in our way of life. A task I did not want, but the more time I spent with him the more I longed for his company. When he was away, even for the shorted period of time I was beside myself. I don't know who I am without him. I never understood how deep Edwards love for you ran, having never felt such love myself. But now I know Bella. it's been a year and my eyes have never left his, nor my heart. It's how I truly understand why you had to do what you had to do, as I understand why my sister did what she did" The look in her eyes caused me to weaken my hold on her. She was telling the truth! She was a good actress, but she was not that good. I released my hold on her altogether, taking a short step back.
She took a large breath as if she actually needed it. I continued to stare thinking of how this could be possible. When a thought struck me; she had not mentioned how Charlie felt about her.
"Does Charlie Love you too?" I asked not sure if I wanted to hear the answer.
"He knows nothing of my feelings, I have never told anyone… but you." For the first time this beautiful vampire looked insecure. A far cry from the over confident female I had met over a year ago.
"Why?" Was all I could manage to utter.
"He doesn't like what he is Bella… He doesn't want to be what he is. He has just been waiting for you to come home." My heart dropped again, when I saw the love in her eyes turn to mourning.
"What do you mean just waiting for me to get home? What is he going to do?" She closed her eyes and lowered her head shaking it slowly back and forth. Panic now seized my chest. I flashed in front of her griping her arms.
"Tanya! What is he going to do?" I almost screamed.
"I don't know… He never said anything, it was just the way he… he…" Her voice was beginning to crack.
No… this was not happening. I mourned the loss of my father once and I wasn't going to do it again! I refused to lose anyone else in my life… either of us. I grabbed Tanya's hand and ran.
I only came close enough to the house to see that rental cars were gone and that they had left for the airport already. I knew I would have to face the rest of Tanya's family one day, but everything was too fresh. We all needed time to come to terms with everything. We needed space and time to heal. I also had things I still had to deal with, but they would have to wait. This however could not.
As I made my way to the airstrip; I glanced back periodically to make sure Tanya was still behind me. My mind was still reeling over Tanya's earlier confession. I did believe she had actual feelings for Charlie, but I was still fearful of what may happen. It is in our nature not to be trusting and my feeling was double by the fact that it was Tanya we were talking about. Men where her toys, her play things but there was no denying there was something in her eyes, a true hunger. I recognized it. It was the way I looked at Edward. I don't know how I had not seen it before. As I thought back to when we first arrived at the house, she was always standing near him. Her eyes would flicker to each person in the room, but landed on Charlie more often than not; and how she stopped Kate for using her gift on him. She took Kate's wrath to protect Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie.
I felt the air fly past me as I pushed myself to where he was waiting for me with the rest of the family. How could he think I would ever allow him to do this? He was a grandfather now. He had responsibilities, to Masen and to me to be there for us.
As we approached the plane I slowed trying to collect my emotions. I wasn't going to solve anything by accidently blowing up the plane. I was still having a hard time controlling my power; especially when I am emotional. I grabbed the rail to the stairs leading to the door of the plane and stopped. I turned my head toward Tanya.
"I am going to ask you to wait here for me… Please?" I said releasing the rail and turning my whole body to face her. "The only way I'm going to get through to him is if I have his complete attention. And if what I feel is going to happen, is going to happen; I will need your patience." I saw her shoulders fall slightly. I crossed the few steps between us, till I was standing inches from her. She lowered her head but I caught it with my hand raising it back up so I could see her eyes.
"Tanya… Trust me." I smiled softly moving my hand to her hair brushing it behind her ear. "I will return for you as soon as I get my answers, and you will have a chance to get yours as well." She smiled a half smile and gave me a small nod; which I returned before heading into the plane.
When I stepped my heart lightened as I saw my family as they should be… together. Esme and Carlisle were sitting next to one another holding hands and watching their family, just be. Alice was sitting on Jasper's lap twirling his hair in her fingers. Emmett was wearing an abnormally large set of headphones. He was pretending to scratch imaginary records on an imaginary turn table. All awhile Rosalie rolled her eyes and flipped her hair, turning her attention back to Masen. Masen was sitting on the floor with Charlie; who was patiently teaching him how to fold paper planes. If I could cry I would have. I choked back a sob as I remembered when he had taught me the same thing. I remember we spent the day on the front porch throwing them and seeing who's went farther.
"You ready?" I heard a voice whisper behind me. I leaned back knowing he was there. Edward wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me close against his chest and out of site of the rest of the family before turning me around and crushing his lips to mine with a hunger I missed, but would never miss again.
"Soon…" I mumbled against his lips. "I have one more thing to take care of before we leave." I said placing another small chaste kiss on his lips; lips I would never tire of kissing.
"I know Tanya's thought are chaotic. She is trying her best to hide them but is failing miserably." he said whispering so only I could hear him.
"Did you know?" I said leaning my head back to look at him while he tried to hide his smirk but failing miserably as well.
"I only had an inkling, their thoughts have been unbelievably guarded especially Charlie's so I can't give you any definite insight into what he was thinking." His smirk faltered when he finished.
"You got nothing from Charlie?" I said feeling a little disappointed. His smirk returned and he pressed his lips to my forehead.
"I didn't say that." He whispered taking a step back and placing his hand in mine and lifting it to kiss my knuckles.
"Shall we?" he said pulling me toward the front of the plane where my family was waiting.
When we entered the room and everyone came to attention. At once smiles adorned their faces, but the smallest one of all beckoned me to him.
"Momma!" Masen cried and was in my arms in a blur.
"Hello my darling." I said holding him tightly. I held him so tight that I was sure nothing could pry him from my arms. I inhaled his sent deeply taking it all in; even for the brief time we were apart I missed it. I feared I would never smell him again.
"Where you a good boy for everyone?" I said leaning him back and rubbing my nose to his.
He made me stifle a giggle when he raised one brow as if to say 'Really?' Before nodding and giving me a big toothy grin, which quickly turned into a yawn.
"Tired sweetheart?" he nodded and laid his head on my shoulder.
A loud clap brought us all to attention and caused Masen to jump. I looked up to see Emmett standing at the door of the cockpit rubbing his hands together.
"Alright… All here and accounted for so let's blow this Popsicle stand!" His enthusiasm was shared by all but we couldn't leave, not yet.
"Wait…" Emmett turned around quickly to look at me as did everyone else.
"What is it Bella?" Esme said scooting closer to the edge of her seat but never releasing Carlisle's hand.
I steadied myself deciding on the best way to approach this "Normally I would do this on my own but from all we have been through together, I know I no longer have to." I said looking to each face in the room. "Certain things have been brought to my attention and I need them to be addressed before we head home. And since it affects everyone here I would like all your thoughts." Edward gently took Masen from me and handed him to Esme and came to stand behind me again. I looked at Esme and gestured with my head for her to take him to the bed at the back of the plane. His eyes were already closed again so I knew he would be fully asleep in no time. The emptiness of my arms shook my concentration for a moment, before I took a breath and regained it.
Esme returned seconds later touching my arm as she passed letting me know he was ok before she took her place beside Carlisle again.
"Bella honey what going on?" Charlie rose to his feet with a bewildering expression.
"You dad." I could feel my insides begin to shake with all the emotions running though me. "You're what's going on."
"Bella I don't understand?" Charlie began to look around the room. I suddenly knew he knew what I was talking about. He was looking to everyone like he had been betrayed, then focused back on me.
"You do, you know exactly what I'm talking about! How could you ever think what you are planning would ever be ok?" Before I could finish he cut me off.
"Bella this is not something I am going to talk about. Now let's just get you ho…" It was my turn to cut him off.
"No that's where you are wrong!" I hissed taking a step forward. "We ARE going to talk about this… how can you think about leaving me after all we have just been through? Don't you think I have lost enough that WE have lost enough?" I felt a lump begin to grow in my throat but I was not going to let it soften me. He was going to have to come to terms with what he was now and what he will be for a long time.
"Charlie…" Edward said stepping to my side. "I believed for the longest time that what it was…was a curse, until I met Bella." He looked down at me with so much love before returning his gaze to Charlie.
"That day in the field, when you were dying and you begged me to change you; I didn't want to do it. I fought internally knowing what this choice meant for you, and what it meant for me. It was not a decision I made lightly, but I knew we both had a deep and undying love for Bella. We would both die before we let anything happen to her. I knew you needed this, your will was strong and your love for your daughter was even stronger. Charlie If I had know you planned on dying anyway I would never have done this to you. I would not put Bella through that again. She mourned the loss of her father once I will not let her go through that again." I looked up at Edward as he finished what he was saying. His face was void of any emotion it was almost… cold.
"Edward, son, I am so proud to know that my daughter has you and that my grandson has a father who would stop at nothing to keep him and his mother safe. That is all I ever wanted for her, there is nothing left for me in this life now. I am complete in my happiness… I have been a man in love, I had a child and I died protecting the ones I love… that is the way it should be… for me." He took his stare from Edward and turned it to me. "This sounds crazy but I don't think meeting Edward or the Cullen's was an accident. Bells you've always lived your life outside the box. You never laid judgment on anything or anyone. I think this is always what was meant for you. A heart like yours could never be lost to this world. It needs a source of good like yours and the Cullen's to keep things balanced… They all have done nothing but watch over you, I always saw it I just never wanted to admit it. What father wants to admit someone else can take better care of his child than he can? And as evident by your umm medical records; you always needed a little more looking after."His face softened and a small smile crossed his face when he saw my brow furrow in irritation at his last comment. I noticed how he tried to take the light off himself, and this was not going to work.
"Cha… Dad." My voice a bit higher then I intended as I tried to take control of the conversation once again. "You stand here and talk about destinies and things happening as they were meant to. Who's to say this was not what you were meant for…. or much more. You spent you entire human life protecting people even at the risk losing your own life and you never thought twice about it. I want you to think of all the good you can still do. I know how happy you were as a cop dad and you can have that again. If Carlisle can do it as a doctor then you can do it as a police man we have the resources and money to purchase any documents you will need to establish your career." I gave him my most pleading look.
"Bells I lived a good life. But this life is NOT meant for me. I knew my plan from the moment I told Edward to change me. I would make sure you got home safe and my job was done here." He said giving me the same pleading expression.
"So you're telling me all I was, was a job to you? Something you HAD to do to have a clear conscience. So you could float of into the sky with an untarnished record!" I knew I was hitting below the belt but I tried it the nice way and that wasn't working, so now I had use what I could. I saw his features go from soft, too shocked, to hurt, to flabbergasted, to what looked like insulted in seconds.
"Bella how could you say that? You mean everything to me, you always have. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. You were never a job to me… you were and are the most precious gift god or your mother ever gave me." I felt my stomach grow heavy at the cruel shots I was taking at him but he was leaving me no choice.
"Then stay with me… stay with us…"I felt my body begin to betray me; as my eyes started to sting as the venom began to fill them.
"I can't do eternity like this Bella with this constant hunger, this thirst." he was interrupted before he could finish.
"It will get easier with time Charlie…" Carlisle said getting to his feet. "You have a place in this family Charlie, you always will."
"Charlie man I never took you for someone who would punk out on his family…" Emmett stood shaking his head, his huge arms folded across his chest. He didn't even to try to hide the disappointment in his voice.
"You're not just leaving Bella and Masen behind Charlie. I would like to think you wouldn't want to leave me…" Alice said sadly as she shifted herself, so she could rest her head on Jaspers shoulder. That's when I noticed Jasper was staring at Edward. I looked up to see Edward shaking his head ever so slightly.
Edward leaned his head toward me. "Jasper wants to use his gift to help Charlie be more cooperative." Whispering so only I could hear him.
I quickly looked at Jasper and shook my head as well. I knew if I we were going to get through to Charlie it had to be under his own influence. A sudden movement from the corner of my eye caught my attention and caused my breath to hitch. I quickly covered my mouth with my hand as I watched Masen walk across the room and stop just behind Charlie. He tugged on the back of Charlie's pants to get his attention which at the moment was focused on Alice.
"Why don't you want to stay with me Grandpa? Did I do something bad?" His little expression was heart wrenching. I suddenly felt Edward's hands on my shoulders as he gave me a comforting squeeze.
I saw Charlie stiffen at the question and I made a move to pick him up, when Edward stopped me.
"This may be what Charlie needs, to understand why he needs to stay. He is leaving Masen behind as well." I struggled internally with what to do. If I went to him and took him back to the room, how was I to explain why he couldn't get the answer to his question? What if Charlie decided he preferred becoming ash to the alternative, which was spend eternity with us? I didn't want Charlie's decision to be based on guilt. I wanted him to stay because he needed us as much as we needed him. Before I could decide Charlie lowered himself to his knees.
"No buddy you did nothing wrong. This has nothing to do with you alright. I love you so much and no matter where I am I will always be with you." He said pulling him to him and holding him tightly against his chest.
"Don't go." Masen cried loosening his arms from Charlie's grasp and wrapping them around Charlie's neck. I raised a shaky hand to my chest as I looked around the room for some answer of how to fix this. Alice, Esme, and, Rose all had their faces buried in the chest of their mate. I felt Edwards arms wrap around me tightly.
Not being able to watch this any longer, I rushed forward placing my hands on my son's shoulders and pulled him back to me. He turned without looking at me and threw his arms around my neck.
"Grandpa's not going anywhere right this moment alright… shhhuushhh Baby." I whispered stroking the back of his head gently.
"Bella let me take him." Esme said placing her hand on his back rubbing it softly. I reluctantly released my hold on him. I watched her walk him to the back of the plane and disappear behind the door to the bed room.
"Does spending eternity with me really make you prefer death?" I hissed through clenched teeth.
Charlie was still on the floor with his head down. I knew he was hurting as much as I was. He was always a stubborn man.
"Is there anything else you can think of Charlie that would make you think about reconsidering this decision?" Edward said stepping in front of me and took the same position as Charlie on the floor.
I watched Charlie raise his head up. The look on his face was incredulous almost confused look on his face.
"Did you ever stop to think others besides us might need you Charlie?" Edward said placing his hand on Charlie's shoulder. "That maybe you need her too."
"Her?" Charlie repeated but his features softened. 'yes'
"Why are you fighting you're feelings so hard Charlie?" Jasper said shaking his head.
"I don't know what you guys are talking about?" Charlie face became expressionless and hard.
"Don't you? Bella may be able to hide her thoughts completely from me but you can't. When we were in Maine who where you always on the phone with? Whose face would flash through your mind periodically?" I knew Edward was striking a nerve, because Charlie began shaking his head back and forth as though he were trying to rid himself of an Image or memory.
"Is it so hard for you to believe someone would want to love you for eternity? Because I know I will" I said wrapping my arms around myself.
"And so will I…" My head snapped up to see Tanya standing a few feet from me, her stare fixed on Charlie.
I looked back at Charlie who now had a deer in the head like look as he got up onto his feet.
"I should have told you this month's ago… But I was scared." She said walking a few steps closer.
"Tanya…" Charlie began.
"No, let me finish before you say anything." She said brushing her hair behind her ear. "When you first came to live with us, I was sure I was going like you as much as I liked Bella." She looked at me and winked before continuing.
"Charlie the moment you walked in our door, I felt odd being near you. On our hunting trips I tried to keep my distance, not really understanding what I was feeling. I was confused; I had not been what you would call a fan of your daughter. I felt she was trying to segregate my family. It had just been them and us for so many decades. I figured it was only a matter of time before Edward realized that it was meant to be for us; that we were meant to complete the family. But Edward knew better, I knew he found his forever that night he ran from her, ran from the pain he was in both physical and mental. But Edward fought his fear and went back to face it. And because of him and Bella, I have the courage to stand here and face mine. I have never had a problem with expressing myself or saying what is on my mind. Ask anyone here they will tell you." She looked around the room as she said it looking almost guilty. "I never gave much thought to anyone else's feeling except those of my own. But when I finally realized I was in love with you Charlie for the first time; the thought of rejection or rather the fear of it filled me… Whenever I thought of telling you how I felt, the fear I felt would triple; gripping my throat tightly. And when you stand for hours looking out over the water alone, I longed to be by your side. I wanted to ease your mind over whatever it was you were thinking. I know while you were here you heard all the stories of how I chased after Edward, the games I played to get his attention. And when you left to Maine and I asked to go; I know you thought it was so I could be near Edward. But it wasn't him I wanted to be near… it was you. I know acceptance to this new life is hard but don't you think it would be a little easier with someone to walk through it with? This life is not an eternity of blood thirst and violence Charlie. It can be full of undying love and happiness… If you give it a chance, give us that chance… give me that chance." No one in room even so much as blinked through her whole confession.
The tension in the room was so thick, not even a knife could get through it. I was about to break the uncomfortable silence when almost faster than a blink; Charlie crossed the short distance between him and Tanya placed his hands on her face and crushed his lips to hers. He was Kissing her like I had never seen him kiss Renee.
After a long moment he slowly pulled away to look at her. "You don't know how long I have wanted to do that." He said throwing her a small smile.
"Does this mean you're going to stick around for a while?" I said still feeling apprehensive about what was unfolding in front of me.
"No." Charlie said slowly dropping his hands from Tanya's face and turning to me.
"Wha… what? But you… But…" Before I could incoherently stumbled through anymore words my father was in front of me.
"From what I hear… If my sources are correct, which I am almost certain they are… Our kind Lives a lot longer than awhile." He said. He raised his brow, tilting and turning his head slightly so that he was looking at me through the side of his eyes. The grin that adorned his face finally gave me the chance to take a real breath not that I needed to, but I felt I had been holding it the moment I stepped on the plane which I'm pretty sure I was. As I exhaled I found myself with my arms wrapped around him before anyone could move.
My heart soared with the thought I would keep my father, Masen would keep his grandfather. He found love again and since we were vampires… time could never touch that.
A/N: So there you have it. I was really nervous when writting this. It has been edited over so many times I was not sure I was even going to release it. But I owed you guys a chapter and I did my best so I really hoped you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. LOL
I want to give a might clap to my Beta she has ran me over the coals for my grammer, but I told her thats what she was here for. LOL As she gave me one of Rosalie's famous smacks to the back of the head. LOL Thank you so much MelloXMatt75 Lots a love babe.
The Song for this chapter is Charlie's. It's :Maybe by Sick puppies: there is a link for the song on my profile check it out great song.
Thanks again everyone for sticking around and supporting me. its awesome! but now you know what to do leave a review and let me now what you thougt.