Yes , it's been forever, I know and I am very sorry. I hope you enjoy the chapter.
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer.
As Edward's lips moved feverishly against my own and his fingers toyed with the hem of my T-shirt, I knew that I should say something, that I should put a stop to this. However, even when I mustered the resolve to try, all that escaped my traitorous lips was an embarrassing moan. Suddenly, Edward's lips were gone and I barely suppressed a whimper at the loss of contact. What was wrong with me?
Edward's inner gentleman had obviously protested at his behaviour. He sat in front of me, dragging his hands through his hair as I watched him, worrying my bottom lip. Nearly a hundred years had passed since Edward and I had met. I think it was officially time that I admitted that I was in fact attracted to him, but did I love him? Did he love me? Did he regret the kiss we'd just shared?
I mustered up my courage and chanced a glance at Edward. What would his expression reveal? What did I want his expression to reveal? Did I want him to cast the kiss aside, pretend it meant nothing and continue on as before? Or did I want him to profess his undying love for me and his heartfelt wish that we could spend the rest of eternity in one another's arms? Perhaps the latter was a tad dramatic, but something along those lines. The answer: I honestly didn't know. Which was what scared me most of all.
As I met his gaze, I felt both disappointment and relief. "I'm sorry, Bella." He murmured. However, I could clearly see his trademark crooked grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, implying that he was not at all sorry. To be honest, I couldn't say that I was either. We were both silent for a moment, but the strange thing was that it wasn't at all awkward. Edward took my hand in his and raised it to his lips, offering me a reassuring smile. Even though I could feel doubt tugging at me I returned the smile.
Just as Edward and I lay back down on the soft grass, the heavens proceeded to open, releasing the rain I had earlier predicted. For a moment, we remained still, relishing the refreshing nature of the water as it poured down on us. However, Edward all too soon sighed and pulled me from the ground. "Come on," he murmured. "School will be over soon enough, anyway."
Edward snaked his arm around my waist and flashed me a grin that caused my knees to buckle slightly, which in turn caused Edward to smirk at me. If I were human I would most certainly be blushing. Without warning, Edward sped off in the direction of his Volvo, throwing a, "Race you!", over his shoulder. Obviously Edward had had a lot on his mind and our discussion had eased his burden. He was positively carefree. I looked around the beautiful, tranquil meadow and heaved a sigh. If only I could so easily leave my misgivings behind.
As Edward and I drove back home, a silence descended upon us. Edward couldn't seem to keep the smile from his face. I spent the drive mulling over the implications of our actions in the meadow. Thoughts raced around my mind, fighting for attention. Edward had been so distraught this morning, almost inconsolable. However, after our time in the meadow, it seemed that he didn't have a worry in the world. I glanced at him as surreptitiously as I could manage and noted the easy smile on his face. I had known Edward for such a long time, surely I would know if he was putting up a front? Did he love me, did I love him? Yes and yes, Was it enough? That was a far more important and difficult question.
The dramatic change in Edward's demeanor implied that he was extremely dependent on me, he had said as much in the meadow. It wasn't hard to understand, we had been through so much together, I was undoubtedly as dependent on him as he was upon me. However, was he dependent on me in a platonic or romantic manner? Did he really love me or merely believe that he did? Did I love him? I thought so. Was it enough? I honestly didn't know. As my internal struggle continued, I knew that our discussion in the meadow wasn't nearly enough. I had been set completely on consoling Edward and then had gotten completely caught up in the moment. Nothing had been resolved or discussed, not really. I realised that Edward and I would need to seriously discuss what we now meant t each other, as soon as possible. It also became clear that I would have to tread lightly until then, to protect my own heart as much as his.
After what seemed like an inordinately long time, we arrived home. Edward's arm snaked around my waist and he grinned down at me. A tingle went up my spine at the slight contact and served to send my thoughts into further disarray. We walked into the house and were met with Esme and Carlisle, who was enjoying a rare day off. Without doubt they had heard us coming, but seemed surprised that we were home. ''We didn't go to school today,'' Edward explained and Carlisle nodded in understanding. Apparently, no further comment was necessary, Edward's arm remained firmly wrapped around my waist, which did not go unnoticed by Carlisle and Esme, who shot us a knowing look. Thankfully they did not comment.
For perhaps the first time in their presence, I felt uncomfortable. I cleared my throat unnecessarily and moved towards the stairs, hoping Edward would get the hint. He looked down at me, an amused grin playing on his lips. I groaned internally. Apparently, he had gotten the wrong hint. I took his hand and all but dragged him upstairs. I could quite clearly hear Carlisle and Esme chuckling lightly. I pulled Edward into my room and turned to face him. Unfortunately, talking didn't seem to be his main priority and his hands twisted around my waist. I could feel myself beginning to melt and knew that it was now or never, ''Edward,'' I began, ''we need to-''. However, I was interrupted by the tinkling voice of a very excited pixie. ''Bella, Edward, I want to talk to youuu!''
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