Fiona Bickerton was not happy. Her flatmate, Eddie Arlette, had once again left his dirty dishes in the sink for her to clean up. She had reluctantly washed them while resisting the urge to smash them into pieces. Now she was sitting in front of the television just waiting to lay into him when he returned from work.
It was strange. Fiona always found herself waiting for Eddie at night. Unlike her regular 9-5 type job he kept irregular and often late hours as a cop. He did tend to call when he was going to be out all night which she actually appreciated. But not because she worried about him! Of course not! No, it was because she would lock up the house if he wasn't coming home. Yes, that was it…
As she pretended to watch the latest Ronco infomercial Fiona got more and more irritated. She was getting tired, but she really wanted to give Eddie a piece of her mind. Repeatedly looking at the clock she found herself getting more and more agitated. Where was he?! He didn't call so he must be coming home. The wanker was going to get it when he walked through that door!
Finally at half past midnight she heard the door to the flat open. Fiona quickly assumed her most stony expression and glued her eyes to the TV. Eddie strolled in looking tired, carefree and way too damnably handsome.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, seeing her on the couch. "You're still up." Throwing her one of his grins, the devastating kind which both excited and infuriated her, he sauntered into the kitchen to grab a beer,
Fiona stood up from the couch and marched over to him, putting her pretty, though angry face right into his. Eddie took another swig of his beer and raised an eyebrow at her.
"What's up?!" she cried, furious. "I'll tell you what's up! Me, up to my elbows in you and your mongrel's filth! You didn't wash you dishes! Again!! So guess who got stuck doing it?! Again!!!"
"Who?" Eddie asked with a smirk, though he knew damn well who.
Fiona smiled dangerously at him, her hazel eyes flashing. "The next time you leave your dishes in the sink I'm going to coat all of your underpants in crazy glue."
"Fiona if you want to get into my pants all you have to do is ask."
"UGH!!!" She cried and then proceeded to list out all the ways he upset and disappointed her as a flatmate. It was all nonsense of course, but she acted like it was the end of the world. But Eddie never got offended. He would stand quietly, listen and smile before making one of his flip comments. And she would scream that she hated him, run to her room, slam the door and sleep well knowing he was here and safe and sufficiently yelled at. And he would reply casually that he hated her too, saunter into his room, close the door and sleep well knowing she had waited up for him again.
Hey, every couple needs a nightly routine, right?