Author's Notes: I've gotten addicted to Doctor Who, so fanfic was inevitable! I'm working on getting into the minds of the characters, so here we go. I hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who
5 Things Rose Tyler Didn't Really Want to Know About
Rose knows his face as well as if she had grown up with him. Despite her mum not talking about him much, there's always been a picture of him somewhere in the house. Her mum keeps one in her bedroom, in the drawer to her nightstand, though Rose keeps that knowledge secret. She feigns surprise when her mum pulls it out. Rose had been told, of course, about the wonderful things, but now she's old enough to question the reason behind the abandonment, and she did, pressing the issue until her mum had thrown up her hands and and declared she never knew such a child, one who kept asking such questions. Now, as they settle on the bed, not as close as a mother and daughter should be, Rose almost regrets asking about him.
"Oh Rose, I wish you'd known him." Her mum's voice is thicker than normal, and Rose doesn't look at the picture but at her mum's face, her eyes trained on her, her familiarity, and her unsettling tears. This topic has always been glossed over in the past, and they're going into unfamiliar territory, talking about this, and Rose suddenly isn't sure she's ready.
"Mum..." she begins to say, her voice a whisper, but her mum isn't listening. Rose feels a brief tinge of annoyance, it feels as if her mum is forever not listening to her, but it passes as she watches her mum trace her hand over the frame. The gentleness of the action gives her pause before anticipation fills her, and she waits, quietly, for her mum to gather her composure.
Finally, in the peace of her mum's bedroom, Rose hears the story of her father's death.
She's sitting there, eating chips, watching him. Mickey's eyes are glued to the screen, an idiot intent on the match the glowing lantern is showing him. She smiles, a soft smile, not a happy smile, but a comfortable smile. And she wonders.
This is what grown up life actually is?
She sighs softly, nibbling on a chip and gazing at nothing in particular. She's comfortable. She's simply living day to day. And as the noise fills up the background, she closes her eyes and sits back. If this is how it continues, she wonders if she'll survive the boredom.
Panic starts to set in, just a little bit, as the mannequins move in. And then those words...
Just like that, her comfortable view of her life shifts. As she stares at this man it seems like nothing will ever be the same again. He speaks quickly, and compliments her, and then tells her to run for her life and after some hesitation and and some arguments and demands, she does. She runs and then the shop explodes and Rose pauses...looks...and runs some more.
And after all is said and done...and she saves the Doctor...and then he invites her along...an alien...who's offering her a visit to the universe....she tells him no.
But then he comes back. And she doesn't have a job anymore... And so Rose tosses throws all caution to the wind and accepts that aliens exist and takes her chance.
It was slowly starting to sink in no matter how much she pushed it away. It had to sink in, when the evidence was standing there in front of her, talking in front of her, reminiscing with the same man that Rose had only started to admit to herself that she thought of as hers. The evidence was there; of previous adventures, previous explorations, and previous relationships.
Of course she thought herself as stupid. Stupid for considering herself as special, as lucky, as a chosen one of sorts. Stupid to fall for his ploy, his charm, his vast knowledge, his offerings of a lifetime of new things to see, to do, to interact with. Stupid to fall for hi- no, she cut that line off immediately.
Sarah Jane Smith. A plain name. An ordinary name. Not the name of someone you'd expect to go off gallivanting through the stars with an alien man who had time and space at his fingertips. A plain woman. An ordinary woman. Not a woman who, upon first glance, you'd believe had seen things only imagined in the minds of the best of science fiction writers. And yet...
There was something in the eyes of this woman, something in her face, most especially noticeable when she was talking with the Doctor. Something Rose could identify with, despite herself. This plain, ordinary woman, this Sarah Jane Smith, had traveled with the Doctor, had defied death with the Doctor, and had loved the Doctor. Probably still loved him, though she had long ago resigned herself to not being loved back. And had, in the end, been abandoned by the Doctor. Rose saw this, and it was all slowly starting to sink in.
For the first time since traveling with him, Rose honestly began to wonder how long it would last.
Rose turns, and there he is.
Only it's not him, he's faint...transparent. But, there he is, and it is really him after all, and he's really here, and he's really talking to her and it's so overwhelming to see him again. He's making himself more solid now, and then it's like he's really there, right in front of her, and Rose can't deny it to herself anymore now. She can't convince herself this feeling is just something that will pass. She reaches out, wanting to feel his warmth again. But he tells her no. And it hurts.
This hurts more than just after she was saved from the Void. Now he's here, right in front of her, talking to her, and there's nothing she can do. He's burned up a sun for her and there's nothing, nothing she can do.
She doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to tell him, doesn't know how she's going to survive after all this, in the end. She's alive, but after life with him, it's not like living. Unless, maybe... He's always had the answers in the past. He's always had the solutions, right in the end, at the last possible second, so maybe, maybe this time he will again. He tells her it's not possible, and the glimmer starts to fade and the tears, so hot on her cheeks, aren't stopping. His face, so stoic, betrays nothing, but his eyes... Rose fancies she finds hope in his eyes. And so she admits to both herself and him what she has been trying to deny for such a long time.
"I love you."
He speaks her name, and then he's gone and it's all she can do to stay standing.