A/N: Hey I know it's been a while since the last chapter, but I was fighting the characters this time ;) I wanted to have different view points and Jasper said it was his story and he was telling this chapter and no one else. LOL Hope everyone enjoys it.
My Home, My Family
I tried to be brave about this. I had no clue what was going to happen to me, all I knew was that I was going to be punished. In my last coven, I knew to expect a fairly harsh punishment when I had done something directly to my leader, be it talking rudely to her, unintentionally raising my voice to her, or disobeying her orders. Here, though it wasn't a coven, it was a family, my family and I realized that now. I wasn't quite sure what punishment Carlisle had in mind for me. I sat there on my bed, trying hard not to let my nervousness show. I was tense though and so I was breathing heavily. I had no need to breath, but it helped to ease the tension some. I think I frightened myself more as I kept thinking of different punishments that Carlisle would think of, but all I could think of was the punishments that I received from my former coven leader, Maria.
"Jasper," Carlisle said quietly.
I'll admit it, I jumped. I was so lost in my own thoughts, that it startled me when he spoke to me. I looked at him hesitantly and then looked down at my hands which were twisting the hem of the sweater I had been wearing for the past few days now.
Carlisle got up and it made me glance up slightly. What was he doing? I was a little surprised to see him grab the chair away from my and Alice's desk and set it in front of me. He sat down and I knew what he would do before he did it, so I looked up before he could lift my face to his. "Jasper, what is it that you think I'm going to do son?" he asked.
That question kind of shocked me and scared me. If I answered with something Maria would've done, would he use that? If I answered with something that a father would do, would he think it too light? I remained quiet for a minute, staring at me hands and then looked up at Carlisle and answered, "I'm not sure sir. Whatever you have in mind I'm sure it won't be pleasant." It was the safest answer I could give.
I could feel the sadness emitting him. It confused me as the hurt had when he welcomed me home. What had I done to cause these emotions in him? "You're right unfortunately, it won't be pleasant for either of us. You know that neither Esme nor I will ever cause you any unnecessary harm. It would hurt us deeply to do so," he said as he looked at me. He believed himself to be sincere, but could I trust that?
"What is my punishment to be?" I asked anxious to get it done with.
Carlisle sighed and stared down at the floor for a minute. When he looked up he said in the same quite tone he'd been using with me, "I'm going to spank you Jasper." He looked as thrilled about it as I felt.
All the horrible things I had imagined him saying, that wasn't one of them. That wasn't a punishment that a coven leader gave one of his followers. That was a punishment that a…oh. It hit me right there as I looked up at him. He really thought of me as his child, not as a follower. I felt terrible then as I realized I had been treating him and Esme as coven leaders. I had called him by his name when I came home with Esme and that's what had hurt him. I had called him sir moments ago when I answered him about my punishment. I nodded at him. "What do you want me to do?" I asked.
"You'll need to lie over your bed and all that I ask is that you refrain from reaching back," he told me. Like I would ever do such a thing.
I nodded and stood up. Carlisle stood as well and moved the chair back while I laid myself across the bed. I clenched and unclenched my hands several times trying to prepare myself knowing that there was no way anyone could prepare themselves for this kind of thing. Suddenly I felt Carlisle's hand on the small of my back and it made me jump as I hadn't expected any sort of kindness beforehand.
"Are you ready son?" Carlisle asked.
We were both nervous and I couldn't tell if I was reacting to him or he to me. "I guess so, but then one can never truly be ready for something like this," I said hoping I hadn't angered him with my choice of words.
I heard him chuckle softly and I relaxed some at that. His emotions were mixed though, but the one most pressing was sadness. The hand on my back became slightly firmer and I took that to mean to expect him to start. That first swat caused me to jump slightly and draw in an unneeded breath sharply. I knew it was going to hurt, but that really hurt. After a few more swats I admit I was squirming slightly. Carlisle knew how to give a spanking, of course he'd probably been through this with Edward and Emmett at least one time. I doubt Rosalie has ever had one with the way she acts and I knew my little Alice had never been on the receiving end. Try as I might, the whimpers began to escape me. He had no set pattern and I couldn't anticipate where the next would land. It felt like a small fire had been started on my backside and I couldn't help the shifting and moving. It really hurt.
"We're almost done Jasper. A little less movement please," he said. I could hear the strain in his voice as he said it. I did try to still my shifting, though it was hard to try not to alleviate the pain.
He began aiming the swats lower and I arched up a little at one that caught me on the upper thigh. The first sob fell from my mouth at the second swat to the same area. I don't remember much after that, except I sobbed into the quilt that lay on the bed and was glad that we didn't produce tears or mucus anymore for I would've made a definite mess of it. I never thought of reaching back once, for even when my human father punished me, he had always forbid us to reach back and to do so meant more dire consequences. It took me a few minutes to realize that Carlisle was no longer spanking me and was gently rubbing his hand over my entire back. I had choked off the worse of the sobbing and stood, still a little shaky.
I don't know why, but I felt ashamed to look at him at that moment. I felt as if I had not taken it as I should've. I should've been able to stay in place and taken it quietly, but instead I had moved so much that he had had to ask me to stop. I wrapped my arms around my stomach still crying softly when I felt I hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Carlisle looking at me sadly.
"Come here, let me do that," he said as he wrapped his arms around me and drew me towards him into a hug. I began to cry harder again as I lay my head on his shoulder. "That's right, let it out son, don't keep it bottled inside you," he said as he ran one hand up and down my back.
I began to relax and finally I wrapped my arms around him tightly. My sobs were quieting down and Carlisle had started stroking my hair. I began to push away lightly until Carlisle released me. "Carlisle you…you won't say anything to the others about this will you?" I asked. I knew they knew I was being punished but I didn't want them to know the form that my punishment took.
"No Jasper. Just as I would never disclose how I punish them to you, I will do the same for you. The only way anyone will know what your punishment was is if you tell them. Alright?" he asked.
I smiled a little at that. Alice would know as well no matter if anyone told her or not, but I knew she wouldn't tell anyone else. "Thank you. Carlisle? May I ask you something else?"
"Jasper, you may ask me anything you want whenever you feel the need. I will always try to answer whatever it is to the best of my ability," he answered me.
"I know that I hurt you earlier and probably every time I've been calling you by your name and I'm sorry. If you still would like me to, may I…I mean if it's still alright, I…would like to call you Dad," I finally stammered out. I felt foolish and stared at the tops of my shoes.
"Jasper," Carlisle called and I looked up and saw the smile on his face. "I would very much like for you to call me Dad. Thank you," he said as he pulled me into another hug. It was brief and it made me want to seek out Esme and apologize to her and perhaps ask of her the same thing I had just asked of Carlisle. "I'll let you go to do what you wish. Remember though that if you ever need to talk that your mother and I are always here to listen and help you, alright?" he asked as he patted my shoulder.
I smiled at him and saw that he smiled in return. "Yes Dad," I said with a smile.
I went to look for my mother once Carlisle had left my room. I found Esme outside in her garden and knelt next to her as she planted. "May I talk to you?" I asked her after watching her quietly for several minutes.
She looked up at me and smiled. "Of course sweetheart, come on let's go up on the deck so we can be more comfortable," she said as she stood and brushed off her pants. I stood and did the same and followed her up the steps to the top of the deck. We sat in the chairs, though I was still quite sore, but managed somehow and she looked at me expectantly. "What did you want to talk to me about?" she asked.
"I wanted to apologize for snapping at you. It was my fault because if I had just left you a note I know that we could've avoided this," I told her as I looked at her.
"I've already forgiven you sweetheart, I had forgiven you immediately after you did it because I know you didn't mean it. Thank you though," she said as she reached over, patted my hand and smiled.
"You're welcome," I muttered knowing had I been human I would've been blushing. "Esme, there is one thing I'd like to ask you. If I may…I would like to call you Mom, if that's ok," I said hesitantly. I wasn't sure if she would be as happy about that as Ca…Dad had been.
She made a noise like a sob and immediately my heart dropped. Of course she wouldn't want me to after what I did to her. I ducked my head as I stood and turned to leave, when she grabbed my arm. "Jasper, look at me please," she pleaded and I couldn't not do as she asked.
When I did look at her, I saw as well as felt the love radiating from her. She hugged me tightly and said a little choked up, "I would love for you to call me Mom, it would make me so happy."
By this time the others had begun to show up and I was feeling a little uncomfortable being around everyone at the moment especially being as I didn't want to sit and turned to retreat to my room. No one stopped me this time, but I could hear the quiet footsteps of someone following me. At my door I turned and expected to see Alice. It wasn't her that followed me though, the one who did though, surprised me a little.