By Shakespeare's Girl

A/N: Third in the "Triangles" verse. Simon demands something of Jayne. It doesn't make a difference.

"Why did you do it?"

"Huh?" It wasn't his most intelligent moment, granted, but Jayne wasn't good at thinking on his feet at the best of times, let alone while benching about two hundred pounds of free-weights.

"Why did you kiss her?" Simon asked again, his face red, and Jayne wondered if the doc had been crying.

"Cuz she asked me to," Jayne answered, letting the weights slide back into the bracket and sitting up. "Why?"

Simon stared at him, a cross between a glare and a plea. "She's barely looked at me since."

Jayne grinned. "Really?"

"She kissed me right after, and then she'll talk to me, but we don't flirt anymore, and we don't have that . . . zing."

Jayne guffawed at that. "Well that's cuz city folk don't know how to kiss worth a damn," Jayne gasped out. "No wonder she ain't looked at you, doc!"

Simon frowned sternly. "Well . . . teach me!" he demanded.

"Huh?" Jayne winced at the repeated inarticulation.

"Teach me to kiss like . . . like an outworlder," he demanded again, his arms crossed stubbornly.

"You wanna know how an outworlder kisses?" Jayne asked. "Fine. But you're from the core, so don't blame me if you don't catch on."

With that, Jayne stood up, grabbed Simon's shoulders, and kissed him, the way he'd kissed Kaylee, only harder. He let his teeth bite a little harder, his mouth press more firmly, his tongue jabbed into Simon's shocked mouth with more force, his lips slid along without caressing. He ground their mouths together, teeth catching and drawing blood. When Simon tried to reciprocate, Jayne shut him down, sucking too-hard on his tongue and pushing it away with his own. A few times Simon tried to jerk away, but Jayne didn't loosen his grip enough for Simon to accomplish it. Finally, both men gasping, he let go.

"That's how outworlders kiss, core boy," Jayne told him. He'd immediately gone back to his weights, not paying any more attention to the doc.

Simon sidled off, more confused and angry than when he'd first stepped into the cargo bay.