The Fairly Oddparents in "Timmy Turner and Hootch"
Final Chapter : F.A.D.D. (Fairies Against Drunken Dimwits)
Note: I DEFINATELY do not own Fairly Oddparents... I hope my girlfriend never reads this story due to it's content.
This fanfic was inspired by something I saw online that I just realized, I guess the fairies need to check up in "Da Rules" throughly or else this would happen...
"Due to my strong personal convictions, I wish to stress that this chapter in no way endorses underage drinking."
Despite what the Thriller warning parody says, I am against underage drinking and this is not meant to be taken seriously until this chapter.
The original title was going to be "Timmy and the Stupid Juice"
The whole thing is a simulation!
Timmy was really watching the whole thing on Jorgan Von Strangle's crystal ball while Cosmo eats a eggpant panini... with his feet and Wanda holding Poof. Timmy then asks, 'Wait, wait, wait! You mean this whole thing is a dream? Does that mean we're pretty much a big middle finger to the reader?"
Jorgan then shouts at Timmy in his ususal german accent while strangling Binky Abdul, "NO DREAM! SIMULATION! NOW DO YOU SEE THE DANGERS OF WISHING FOR ADULT VICES WITH THE FAIRIES!" Timmy shivers and says, "Y...y...y...yes.... but is the musicial number even nessessary?"
Jorgan replies, "Umm... I just like musical numbers...AND YES IT IS! Now you see what why little kids should not drink beer, especially if they get their fairy godparents to give them it! BINKY! Give me da rulebook!"
Then Binky makes "Da Rules" appear and Jorgan blasts it with his giant wand and then he continues, "From now on, Fairies will never ever ever ever ever no matter how they cry or beg supply their fairy godchildren with alcohol, drugs, tobacco, firearms, and the winning odds in gambling... then again it counts as cheating so it's already in the rulebook but either way... NO ADULT VICES!"
Timmy asks, "Firearms?" Jorgan looks sad and says, "Yeah... there was a incident where a kid wished for a real rifle and well... he shot his eye out! You think something like this is funny in "A Christmas Story" but it isn't in that case... umm are you taking pictures of me crying Cosmo?" Cosmo then says, "Umm... nope! Eggplant Panini?" Jorgan then eats a eggplant panini... with his biceps.
Wanda then says, "See Timmy, parents/fairy godparents, we still have to be responcible for your well being therefore... no beer!
Timmy then says, "Well Wanda I have seen the light... from now on no it's clean living for me!" Jorgan then blurts out, "Oh and I know what you're thinking Turner, you are not wishing for access to "The Naughty Boy channel" that's also going to be in the rule book!"
Timmy snaps his fingers and says, "Darn! I had that idea! Jorgan just shouts, "LOOK! JUST BE GLAD YOU STILL HAVE COSMO, WANDA, AND THAT BABY! Now that I have shown you your dark future I must go... there is another boy who is using his fairies for adult vices and I got to show him his dark future as well!"
So Jorgan flies away on his jetpack and Binky just vanishes.
Timmy then looks at Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof and just drinks a bottle of chocolate milk to show that he will never cause that dark future to happen. Wanda then asks, "So now did you learn anything from all this?" Timmy replies, "Yes and now I know..." And Cosmo then replies, "And knowing is half the battle!"
Wanda then asks Cosmo, "Then what's the other half?" Cosmo then replies, "STUPIDITY! YEE HAA! Watch me put underwear on my head while I eat this eggplant panini with my feet!"
Timmy then says, "I feel like a changed kid... and now to make sure I don't have a dark future..."
(The next day at school)
Tootie is swinging on the swings by herself, but then she sees Timmy holding a box of chocolates and a bunch of roses.
Tootie's eyes are as huge as saucers and she asks, "For me? You mean it! OH TIMMY!" Then Tootie then hugs Timmy and then Trixie sees this and Timmy then says, "Sorry Trixie but your ego is as big as your "badunkadunk"!" Trixie is furious and walks away as she thinks to herself, "Why does everyone in this fanfic think I have a big "badunkadunk?"
Tootie then says, "Timmy I had the strangest dream... I dreamt that you actually liked me but in order to get you to like me I had to feed you beer! Umm are you drunk?" Timmy replies, "Nope, I'm only a kid!" Tootie is shocked and says, "So... you really like me and it has nothing to do with beer? Oh Timmy!"
Then as Timmy kisses his new girlfriend Tootie, Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof are in the form of birds and they perch on a tree watching this sweet scene.
Wanda then says to Cosmo, "I'm really proud of our Timmy, after seeing that dark future he's changed for the better!" Cosmo replies, "Yuck! Sweet cute endings make me sick!" Wanda then says, "Well I think it's best if this fanfic ends with a deliciously sweet happy ending after seeing those horrible images in that dark future Jorgan showed Timmy..."
Cosmo then says, "Point taken!" Poof then giggles at seeing Timmy kissing Tootie, creating a happy ending which the narrarrator thinks isn't creepier than the dark future Timmy almost created by wishing for beer. Wanda then text messages to Jorgan to thank him for showing Timmy what would happen if he wishes for beer... just as she planned!
Moral: Little kids should never ever ever no matter how hard they cry or beg ever get beer! The consiquences are very dire!
Then there is a image of the ocean making waves and the song "Take my Hand" by Toto from the movie "DUNE" plays in the background as we are shown images of the cast of characters and the credits...
DR. ELMER HARTMAN
MR. TURNER (still drunk)
MRS. TURNER (still blind folded)
MR. DENZEL CROCKER
DWIGHT AND MOLLY
BILLY CRYSTAL BALL
JORGAN VON STRANGLE
Patrick Stewart as Gurney Halleck
And Supertoilet as himself!
With apologies to David Lynch, Butch Hartman, Arnold Schwartzenegger, James Rolfe and my little brother.
Technomaru would like a special thank you to Emma Iveli, Jeraldine, and most of all...
his beautiful girlfriend Erin for being a sweetie and not reading this story
And other special thank yous to all of the FOP fans around the world!
Number of Times the word "Budunkadunk" appears in this story: 6
A additional scene plays after the credits end.
A deleted scene from Chapter 1: Timmy then pics up a bottle of Rolling Rock beer and starts drinking it while playing the latest "Crash Nebula" came and drunkenly shouts, "THIS GAME IS BULLS&^T IT'S LIKE PUKE UP A DONKEY'S ARSE! WHAT A S&^T LOAD OF MOTHER F&^ING BULLF*^K!" Wanda then stuffs her's and Poof's ears with cotton upon hearing how horrible Timmy's impersonation of the Angry Video Game Nerd sounded like. Cosmo then laughs out loud and asks Timmy, "Hey Angry video game Timmy, can you review my "Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde" nintendo game?" Timmy then says, "I'd rather eat the rotten assh7&e of a roadkill skunk and drink it down with beer than review that piece of crap!" Cosmo then says, "Well I guess I will have to review it myself as "The Nostalgic Cosmo"... I remember it so you don't have to!"
THE FANFIC IS OVER! GO HOME!