By Mereo Flere
A Genshiken Fanfic.
The soft scratchings of pencil and paper could be expected whenever Ogiue was in the room. Once a former self proclaimed otaku hater, the girl had finally ceased to deny her passions some months ago. Now, it seemed that she was always working diligently on her next work, pages and pages of material done at once.
However, while she worked here and there, trying to get a manga serialized, the majority of her creations dealt with boy's love. It could be described as detailed, and hardcore – and it had even become even more impressive recently.
The other club members didn't have to ask to know what had changed. Being the ones that had cheered from the sidelines themselves, they all knew that the reason was her boyfriend, Sasahara.
But you know, just because they all wanted to see it happen, it didn't mean they weren't going to tease them about it. No – in the case of a certain Ohno Kanako, that was all the more reason to play around with her.
And so, today, when nobody else was in the room but the two of them, she took her chance to ask a question she had always wanted to ask.
"Have you ever tried...drawing yourself?"
The pencil stopped, the hand holding it frozen in mid stroke. Rigid as a stone for a few moments, as if Ogiue was unable to process the question, she turned her head toward Ohno. "Eh?" she asked, an awkward smile on her face.
The senpai grinned like a chesire cat. Crossing one leg over another, hands clasped together on top of a knee, she leaned back and asked the question again.
"Have you ever tried drawing yourself?" she repeated, this time in a louder, clearer voice. "You know in a doujinshi?"
"W-why would I do that?" Ogiue said, holding up her hands. "Something like that is just too embarrassing?"
"What's embarrassing about it?" Ohno asked. "It would be just like cosplay, and you've done that before."
"But that's different! I can't draw myself doing stuff like that!"
Ohno tilted her head slightly, a brow finding itself higher than it usually did. The grin from before remained, though. "Like that, huh?"
There was a pause, as Ogiue felt a chill down her spine. Suddenly, she felt like she had said something she shouldn't have.
Those feelings were right.
"I didn't mention any specific kind of doujinshi, Ogiue-san," Ohno said coyly. "But you know – it's not as if others haven't done that before?"
"T-that?" Ogiue asked cautiously.
"You know...'self insertion.'"
Suddenly, an image went through Ogiue's head, causing her whole body to stiffen again. She didn't need a mirror to tell she was blushing. Ohno's amused chuckles and the fierce heat on her cheeks made that clear enough.
"You're so perverted, Ogiue-san."
"Sh..shut up!" Ogiue yelled, crumpling a piece of paper and throwing it at her senpai. "Besides, what about you? I bet you do cosplay sex all the time with Tanaka-san!"
"Of course not," Ohno said with a smile, even after the paper hit her. "After all-"
"'It would ruin the spirit of the character' or something like that, right?"
"Right," Ohno replied, nodding her head.
"But what if it were a character from one of the porn games."
"You know, Saki-san brought that up too."
Ogiue scowled. "You know, that's not really answering the question."
Ohno smiled, as she looked up at the ceiling. "I suppose, I still wouldn't even then."
"Why not? It's not like it would ruin their character, after all."
"Well," Ohno said, her eyes lowering down to meet with the other girl's. "I suppose it's because I'm not just a cosplayer, after all."
"You could have fooled me." Ogiue sighed, shrugging. "After all, sometimes it seems that's all you care about sometimes."
Ohno raised her hand, dismissing the idea with a wave. "Don't be silly. I'm still a person too, you know? And besides..."
This time, it was Ogiue's brow that was raised. "Besides what?"
"I don't want to love Tanaka-san as someone else. I want to be myself when I'm around him."
Ogiue's eyes widened, suddenly seeing her senpai in a new light. After all, she could understand the need to be accepted for what you were. Sasahara-san, even after he had seen what she had done, he still loved her.
"Don't you spend most of your time together doing cosplay?"
Ohno laughed. "Those are two different things, Ogiue-san."
The conversation had ended there. Ogiue went back to work, trying to ignore the things her senpai had said.
However, before they had left the club room, Ohno said something that had stuck in Ogiue's head.
"But you know," she had begun, as if the talk from before had never taken a break. "I don't think your work would have that problem. After all, the feelings that you put on paper would still be yours, wouldn't it?"
And that was why, ever since Ogiue had returned to her apartment, that was all she could ever think about.
The pencil was still in her hand. A blank sheet was before her, just waiting to be filled with ink. However, the stories that had been pouring out of her just hours before refused to come out now...
And the one that absolutely shouldn't threatened to burst forth – if only she let it.
"A curse. It's definitely a curse," Ogiue said, holding her head in her hands. "Ohno-senpai definitely put a curse on me."
Ogiue was an easy to influence person. She'd been aware of it herself, at least a little bit. However, there was no doubt that Ohno-senpai was taking advantage of this to put strange ideas in her head.
Really...drawing a story about Sasahara and herself. Who would even read such a thing?
"Ah~ I can't work like this."
Setting down her pencil, she jumped onto her bed. Laying on her side, she hugged her pillow, staring at the wall.
"Stupid senpai," she muttered, her mouth muffled by her pillow.
Was it really such a strange idea though?
Tossing in turning in bed, she went back and forth over whether it was or if it wasn't it. She was sure that nobody would find it interesting – and Sasahara-san might even find it strange if she were to do something like hat.
But, hadn't he seen something worse already? After all, Sasahara-san had even seen her SasaMada pictures, and before that her doujin from Comic-fest.
Their relationship wasn't something so fragile. She was confident in that much.
So then, it wouldn't hurt to try it out a little bit. It wasn't as if she would have to show other people; this would be something she would do for herself.
"Just a little bit," she mumbled, crawling back to her desk. "Nobody even has to find out."
No, that was wrong. There was one person she would have to show, if she was really going to do this.
But first she had to actually start.
Even though she had set her mind to put herself in her own story, she still didn't know how to go about it. For a little while she thought that she might do something about everybody in Genshiken, but she figured that might be a dangerous route. Instead, she decided to focus on just herself and Sasahara – after all, that was the first idea that had come into her head.
Still, there were a lot of problems with that. Simply taking out her experiences with him and putting it on paper would make it more of a biography than anything else – and that wasn't what she wanted. But, it was something that definitely had to involve the two of them.
So far, no progress at all.
Perhaps she was thinking about everything too hard. After listening to all the advice that Sasahara-san gave her on her other work, she knew she sometimes had a tendency to make everything too complicated.
"I should just go with what flows naturally."
In a way, what she eventually put down sort of scared her. What terrified her more than anything else, though, was what Sasahara-san would think?
It had taken a couple of days to finish. Since she didn't want anybody else from the club to see it, she could only work on it at home.
But, the fact was that she did finish it.
Sasahara himself was a little surprised when she presented the pages to him. Though he was used to her showing him her work, the title was certainly...surprising.
Ogiue blushed, trying to glance away – though that did little to "D-don't look at me like that," Ogiue said, flustered herself. "Just...please, read it."
This time, she didn't hide in the next room. Sitting on the sofa together, pages on the table before them, she watched his eyes move from frame to frame.
Her hand clutched her chest, as if to keep it from beating faster. Sitting side by side like this, silent save for the turning and shuffling of paper, it was almost unbearable.
And then...he stopped, reaching the last page. She held her breath, waiting for him to say something...
Before, he turned back to the beginning, and started reading the whole thing over.
Her eye twitched. Sasahara-san continued reading on, as if he didn't notice. The truth was, he probably didn't – and that only made it more annoying.
"Sasahara-san," she said, shaking him a little. "Aren't you going to tell me what you think?"
"Ah," he said, blinking. "Sorry, it's just that I like reading things over before I give my opinion."
"I don't care about that right now," Ogiue said, crossing her arms. "Just tell me what you think about it."
"I liked it," Sasahara said, smiling. "It was very enjoyable to read. It's just," he added, scratching the back of his head.
Ogiue's heart sank a little. "Just what?" she asked, though she was afraid to find out.
"Why are you a boy in this?"
"That is...I suppose, I subconsciously went with what I was familiar with," she admitted sheepishly. "And, well, I always wondered what it would be like, to be an aggressive top."
"And I'm a girl because..."
"I thought you'd be cute as a girl," Ogiue said, turning away.
Sasahara looked back to where he had stopped on in the doujin – where 'his' figure was displayed prominently over the page.
"I guess I do," he said with a laugh.
He chuckled, and she smiled happily, though she didn't let him see it on her face. "Yes, Sasahara-chan, you really do."
"But you know," Sasahara continued, wrapping his arm around her. "It really feels like they are in love with each other, don't they?"
That was only natural. After all, the feelings on the paper were the feelings that Ogiue had felt for him.
Of course they were in love. It was their story, after all.
This is the part where it fades to black.