The Twilight-Maximum Ride Parody

By Haley G

The Haley & Kaitlyn Show


We will cast the characters later because we only have a few people to work with.

But for now:

Max= Haley

Bella= Kaitlyn






The Voice=?


MAX VOICE OVER: I'm Max. I'm 14. I live with my family who are 5 kids not related to me by blood, but still totally my family. [Zoom out on MAX with hair blowing] We're kind of amazing actually. Like nothing you've ever seen been. We're nice, smart, cool and not average in anyway. [Zoom into MAX's face] Let me just get this out of the way. We pwn. We are way better than any of you normal humans out there. [Showing the flock] Me, Fang, Iggy, the Gasman, Nudge and Angel were the results of an experiment by the sickest scientist where we ended up only 98% human, and 2% bird. We have freakin wings! WE ARE LIKE ANGELS!!!! We're awesome! WE HAVE SUPER POWERS!!!! [While MAX was speaking, clips of mock flying and power using]

This is the story of my family but it-- [MAX VOICE OVER cut off by BELLA VOICE OVER]

BELLA VOICE OVER: I'd never given much though to how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I love seems like the right way to go. It seemed Noble, even-



MAX VOICE OVER: You already had you chance. It's our turn for a movie. Twilight's over! You're already making eclipse!

BELLA VOICE OVER: So what? Wanna fight bird-girl?

MAX: Bring it! [Camera zooms out on MAX doing the bring-it gesture]

BELLA: Oh! It's on!

[MAX kicks BELLA with a round house to the chest. Bella grabs her leg and knocks her down. They both fall to the ground and continue a hair-pulling cat fight]

MOVIE DIRECTOR: Cut! Nice job girls! But less hair pulling next time, okay?

MAX & BELLA: Okay.


[In the forest]

MAX: You have wings on your back. Midnight black feathers, and can almost become invisible and an affinity for black. I know what you are.

FANG: Say it.

[MAX pauses to think]

MAX: An emo.

FANG: No….

MAX: A goth?

FANG: Not that either.

MAX: The angel of death?

[FANG shakes his head, no]

MAX: C'mon! I'm running out of ideas! I give up! Give me a clue at least!


[BELLA butts in]

BELLA: Max, let me show you how it's done. [BELLA stands in front of FANG] You're unbelievable strong, and fast…

FANG: Mhm… [FANG looks at BELLA with a Huh? Expression and then toward MAX]

BELLA: And you skin is pale white and ice cold.

FANG: I can explain that. I haven't been out enough, and it's usually olive. Oh, and I kinda fell in a lake earlier.

BELLA: I know what you are.

FANG: Say it!

BELLA: Vampire!

FANG: Seriously, Bella. Just because I wear goth stuff and my name's Fang doesn't make me automatically a vampire. Plus, I have wings. What kinda vampire has wings, I mean, c'mon!

BELLA: Fine. [pouty face, then speaks in a bored bored-snobby tone] You're an avian-human Tran-genetic hybrid. Are you happy now?

FANG: Ch'yeah!

EDWARD'S VOICE: I heard that! Don't you go thinking about kissing my girl!

MAX: Enough already! [Breaks them up]

MOVIE DIRECTOR: Cut! Next scene.


[In the house]

FANG: Are you afraid?


FANG: Then let's fly! [Spreads black towel as wings, BELLA holds his shoulders]

BELLA: Fang! You forgot to--

[FANG slams into sliding door and falls]


MAX: I am so sick of Fang hanging out with Bella!

EDWARD: Tell me about it! He keeps thinking about banging her.

MAX: Really. He is so gonna get it!

[5 minutes later, ARI sneeks up on MAX]

MAX: OH NO!!! Eraser! Quick, Fang! Do something!

EDWARD: Fang's not back yet! Don't worry Max! I'll save you!

ARI: No! Wait! Max, it's just me. I won't hurt you.

MAX: Ari? But…we buried you!

ARI: Jeb brought me back again.

MAX: Okay…what's with your voice?

ARI: He couldn't fix it.

MAX: What ever.

ARI: I lied.

MAX: About what.

ARI: I'm actually here to kill you. [Grabs MAX in a choke hold]

MAX: Edward, help!

EDWARD: Don't worry Max! I've had a lot of experience with the werewolves and Jacob could tell you that--

MAX: Just help already!


[EDWARD zooms over and beats ARI up and saves MAX]


[In the park]

ANGEL: So you can read mind too?

EDWARD: Yeah. It's my power.

ANGEL: Can you read mine?

EDWARD: Not really. That's strange…

ANGEL: Well, I can read yours!

EDWARD: Don't tell anyone what you heard, please…

[GASMAN comes up to them]

GASMAN: Hey guys! Whatcha doing?

EDWARD: You stink, dude!

ANGEL: That's his power. Super farts.

[GASMAN makes a fart sound]


[On the couch]

MAX: So you're from Forks?

BELLA: That's right.

MAX: Have you ever been to Spoons?

BELLA: No, but I lived in Pheonix--

[ANGEL runs in]

ANGEL: Forks and Knives, Forks and Knives…

MAX: Shut up! [ANGEL pouts] Where were we? Oh, yeah. I'm from the School.

MAX VOICE OVER: And so we lived happily ever after….hey, who wrote this script?

THE VOICE: I did, Max.

MAX VOICE OVER: Screw you, voice. Come see our movie, 2010, here we come!

BELLA VOICE OVER: Buy my movie, Twilight and see New Moon this November.

THE VOICE: Enough with the advertising. We have a real parody to make. We'll call it: Fantasy Movie!