Okay this...is a true story.

My story. Why Im so sad all the time. I'm just using Bella and Jacob as examples.

Disclaimer: Nope. :)


Why? That's always the question. Why?

Why are you doing this? Why what did I do? What...why?

Why, why, why.

Well...I can't believe I had the nerve to ask why again.

"Why are you doing this again Jake?"

I remember always asking him why he was going out. Why he never seemed to be there.

Finally he decided he was done. I asked why like an idiot.

He told me he had a headache. That 'this' (us) was giving him a headache.

It was late at night and then he left. I called his cell he wouldn't answer; I texted I did everything. I ended up crying all night.

I remember when I first met him. We didn't talk.

I was staying after school for newspaper things. He had joined with my friends. Well my future best friends.

I talked to everyone around him. We would say awkward hi's but that's it.

One day I went into the classroom we used and no one was there yet. So I took out my copy of a book I was reading. It was called Twilight.

I was reading and suddenly he asked me what I was doing. He sat down next to me and we started talking.

He had wanted to read the book. My copy was old and falling apart so I said no. That didn't stop him from asking though.

He took my cell phone and scrolled threw songs. We started a game where he'd play a song and I'd say the artist and song title. I messed up a couple of times.

After that he left to go find my friend he came back with he seconds later.

She sat on his lap next to me while I took out a laptop and did research and such. Finally my sis called and I had to leave. My sis heard him in the back round and asked his name. He heard and told me.



We became friends. We txted and stuff. He finally bought his own twilight copy and didn't ask me anymore.

After awhile I realized I liked him. I didn't tell him, but one day my friends made plans to go to the movies. I invited my friend Megan and Jake was already going.

Before school ended though I ended up telling her I liked him. Before she really said anything. He came over and said he was waiting for his girlfriend. I ran.


A few weeks later I stayed after school again. He hadn't gone to the movies. I think my friend told him. I'm still not sure to this day.

He was staying after because he got in trouble again. Rumor was his girlfriend dumped him. I didn't know how to feel about that.

He was sitting on the bench outside I was with a different friend. She ran up to him and he started talking to him. I just stood there and he bluntly said ' you like me' to me.

I panicked and so 'um...no.' My friend knew I was lying he didn't.

He didn't talk to me for months. 2 to be exact. I tried everything...he wouldn't talk.

When he talked to me again. We admitted we liked each other. He said 'I know' but I knew he wasn't sure.

We talked...but I eventually I gave up. He had a girlfriend again.

We didn't talk again...until Valentines day actually. I was talking to him on the computer when he said text me.

I did and we talked all day. I liked him so much. I ended up...feeling bad...he had a girlfriend.

The next day at school he hugged me like we used to. It was so confusing...but I liked it.


We didn't talk much after that. I don't know why. When Spring break came...he got so mad at me. He was moving and he took some of his anger out on me. Well I hope that's what it was.

We didn't talk....for about a month. I was so...upset. I thought he hated me. Finally...it was May. He was online on IM. So...I IMed him.

He seemed content. Happy to talk to me.

He asked me if I still liked him. I still did. So I didn't lie.

We started talking again. Texting again.

One day...another crush I had...hurt me. I came home crying. I texted him. Yes he lived far but he helped me more then anyone.

He at first just talked to me, but then he asked who hurt me. I told him.

Our night was him at first telling me it wasn't smart me hanging out with him. Then...our conversation went to us. How we liked each other.

The next day I found out he was still with his girlfriend. I cried...but he convinced me it was over she was cheating on him.

It was true. She was cheating on him, but it wasn't over.

We talked still and the days went on. When he came back home we made plans to see each other.

He canceled last minute. So instead I called him and we talked. He said he loved me. I was surprised and we went back to texting.

He asked me if I loved him. I said...I wasn't sure...but I ended up saying it back.

I told him randomly to guess what song was stuck in my head. He guessed and I told him what song it was.

I had remembered he had told me...what song was his favorite.

I'm Yours by Jason Mraz.

That was stuck in my head. He ended up sending me some of the words.


Then came what I told you.

I have a huge headache.


We don't talk anymore. We tried being friends...but we couldn't. He had his girlfriend.

She was with him..even though he apparently loved me.

I think now...that he didn't love me.

I don't know.

Right now...I'm hurt...and sad.

Right now...its funny. How I'm hanging out with the guy Jake told me not too.

He's helping me threw this. I...think I like him alot more then I liked Jake.

I don't know. I just don't know.

I've been spending way to much time

Checking my tongue

in the mirror And bending over

backwards just trying to see you clearer

But my breath fogged up the glass.

So I drew a new face and laughed. :)

This is real.

All of this happened. To me.

Its only a one-shot because its all recent.

The difference is my name is Amanda not Bella.

Jake...well his name the actual guy was named Jacob.

I called him Jay.

Those are the only differences.

He made me think I was in love and suddenly ran away.

He hates me. :'(

And sometimes...I still think...I wasn't good enough for him.

Those are the words he sent me. And he had also said. I effin LOVE YOU!!!!!!! I hate it. Ihate thinking about it. I hate hurting. :/