Disclaimer: I don't own Bella or Jacob
I'm not confused anymore.
I'm happier actually. Guess why? Jake and I broke up. Well you can't call it breaking up when he still had a girlfriend now can you? Its funny to me actually.
He was going to cheat on her with me. The thing is...its funny. He said he wouldn't cheat. Lies!!! Jacob Black is so stupid.
He didn't even love me. That's the sad part in it. He seemed so sweet but in the end he just wanted..yeah sex. When I told him thats what I thought he got all defensive. That proves it right there.
He didn't really love me. And he even bothered to say I didn't love him. After I've told him everything. Everything bad that has ever happened to me.
So now I sit. Perfectly fine.
That's because...well I deserve better.
I always went back to him because...I'm nothing. Dark brown hair, dark eyes, nothing special. (That's my actual hair and eye color)
When he complimented me and was nice to me. I thought...well I was amazed. That's why I wanted to be with him so badly. So heres what I learned don't settle for the 1st guy just because you don't think you can get another.
I'm still not sure whats going to happen.
Well I know I'm not speaking to him again. Just because I didn't want to have sex.
Ha its funny how I don't hate him. I actually think its funny that he expected me to do that. He told me to go to Dairy Queen. (Really Dairy dip)
I told him know and it started this whole chain reaction. That ended up us fighting and us ending.
I don't care.
I...needed to talk to someone. My mom and I were going to the store this morning and I broke down. I was crying and I barely understood why.
It was the vulnerable Bella crying. The Bella that thinks of herself as nothing of interest.
I ended up telling her how hurt I was and some of what happened. Not every detail. Maybe I'll say everything one day I dont know.
I just know I'm okay.
Jacob didn't want me.
He would've left his girlfriend.
I mean he had her to fuck. (sorry just annoyed)
He didn't really need me. He was using me. He used me before too, I was just hoping it was different now.
So yeah I deserve better. Everyone in life deserves someone they can love and be happy with. I know I deserve that.
He pretended he would give me that. Until...I said no.
I'm glad I said no.
1: I wasn't ready
2: He didn't love me
3: I knew in my gut he was just going to leave me
So yeah that's it. Bella+Jake....yeah no.
I'll figure it out. I'll be fine. I know I will.
Last night it ended and its going to stay that way.
I'm happier without him. I thought I was happier with him. That's not the case. :)
I defended myself. I choose not to do anything. He made be made. He says I lead him on. Just because I had a weak point and actually said okay for a moment.
He could tell I wasn't sure. He didn't care. So I'm gong to say this again.
I deserve better.
Everyone deserves better.
Now you know why its the last chapter. :)
Me and Jay are OVER.
I'm okay with that. I wasn't ready and I didn't do anything.
He can go cry to hailee. (his gf) lol
Iloveeverythingtwilight did u die!!! pm me. :)
Megan! Josh called me like an hour ago?? wtf!!!
so yeah review. ?