A/N: This is my first supernatural story. I've watched this show on tivo if my dad hadn't watched it yet and there was nothing else to watch. I got into this show during season 3. Also please excuse my errors. R&R


Castiel was human, once.

He had emotions and He had a sister that was 13 months younger than him named Delaney, a mother, a father, and a brother that died when he was only 2 weeks old. Sure his sister followed him around consistently and worshiped him as if he was a type of god and his parents fought every day. Sure his dad was a drunk, and his mom, well she was the overly religious type.


He was the favorite, always.

The favorite child, the one who obeyed without an objection. Because that is what a child does, right? Even when he knew his parents were wrong, he took everything in silence.

The favorite student, the one that had so much potential. The one who could go on a do such great things.

The favorite sibling, though Delaney was too young to remember Timothy and even if she did, she could only love Castiel.


He prayed every night.


He was seventeen, when he became an angel.

He had tried to take his own life, but he was stopped by a voice in his head. Next thing he knows, hes following orders again, but from someone who loves him.


His sister was the one that found his body.

He watched her cry for hours, days, weeks. Dad was in too much of drunken stupor these days to do anything, and mom carried on with her beatings. Castiel felt the first ounce of an emotion after becoming an angel when his sister killed herself 13 months later. He felt regret for leaving her alone. He was send away from earth and humans for years and years.


Castiel hates Dean Winchester.

He made Castiel doubt everything he has ever known.


Castiel enjoys disobeying.

When he cut his arm open and sent Zachariah away, it felt good. He felt like he had finally broke free of the invisible restraints that held him down his whole exsitance.


The first emotion he felt was pain.

After the archangel, after his fall, All Castiel felt was pain. His whole body was bloody and broken. The pain hurt so much, but it felt so good. He wept in sand, after he climbed from the Ocean water. He wept for his sister, his fall from grace, his emotions, for the pain, and for Dean.


He doesn't regret his decision.

Disobeying, falling, all of that was worth this. Worth feeling again, worth being able to do what he pleases. The price of pain and hurt, was nothing close to being able to smile again and mean it. He was happy for the first time, ever and it felt right.


He loves Dean Winchester.

For being a cocky ass, for causing him to stray, to feel emotion again. He walks across the sand, to the nearest pay phone, and then realizes he doesn't have any change. So he sits on the bench waiting, because he knows Dean will find him.