Disclaimer: Spock, Uhura and Amanda are not mine. Can I go wallow in misery, now?
A/N: it's me again with my 3rd S/U story. This one has been running through my mine for a while and is dear to me because I really love the relationship between Spock and his momma and always wondered if she got to meet Nyota. Anyway, hope you'll enjoy.
Huge thanks to every reviewers and readers. You guys are made of gold.
"Nyota, where do you wish to put this," Spock appeared in the small kitchen where his lover was adding her dishes to his in the upper drawers. Nyota looked up and tilted her head to the side, a gesture so similar to his that it almost made him smile.
"Oh," she finally smiled when she recognized the box, "those are my books. They go in the shelves in my… I mean our bedroom," she grinned and he nodded, his eyes shining with deeply buried emotions.
After a few weeks on The Enterprise, during which time they had tried to remain as discreet as possible, they had decided that embracing completely their relationship was a better way to stop the prying questions. He had simply, in his logical Vulcan way, asked her to come live in his quarter.
"It is only logical, Nyota. You spend all your nights here, my quarters are far bigger than yours and much closer to the bridge," he had said two nights ago during diner. Her eyes had bugged out and she had not uttered a word in 95 seconds. He had started to worry when he had finally seen her blink.
"I know it is highly unlikely coming from you, but is there a possibility that you are trying to be funny?" she had asked, her voice small. He had raised an eyebrow, but she had not been sure if it was in contemplation or in incredulity. "Kirk didn't put you to this, did he?"
"I do not understand," he had replied, staring at her. She had taken a sharp intake of air but the happiness dancing in her deep brown eyes would have been hard to misinterpret.
"You really want me to come live here, with you?" she had asked a smile tugging at her lips.
"As I said, it appears to be the only logical course of action."
"No it's not. We could keep things the way they are, people will always be talking. I don't really mind," she had said. She hadn't wanted to make him do anything he would be uncomfortable with. She had told him that.
"I asked you, did I not?" he had replied with a piercing gaze.
"You did," she had nodded smiling again.
"Nyota, you are right; we could keep things the way they are but I do not wish that," he had said, his eyes gentle.
"Why?" she had asked, needing to hear the words.
"Because, even though it has been difficult for me to admit this, even to myself, I have come to the conclusion that I'm a hundred percent happier when you are with me," he had told her, face unchanged and words clinical but his tone had been so tender that she hadn't been able to hold onto her tears. He had never used so many words to express his feelings. "Please, do not cry," he had asked, almost pleadingly.
"I'm sorry, I know it makes you ill at ease," she had chocked on her words while trying to wipe away her tears.
"It is not that; the sight of your tears is difficult to bear," he had said, his voice strained. Her heart swelled with so much love for this unbelievable man, she had been afraid it might grow too big for her ribcage.
"You know for someone who pretends emotions aren't a part of his life, you sure know how to sweet talk a lady," she had smiled teasingly. His brow furrowed slightly and this time, she knew it was in contemplation. She smiled, her heart growing a little bit more. "Do you have any idea what you're in for?" she had asked.
"I think I will be alright," he had said and there had been the shadow of an expression on his face, something quite resembling taunting.
If it had been up to Nyota, they would have starting the move that night; unfortunately she chose to share her life with a very rational being who believed that their Captain needed to be informed before anything could be done. And so, two days later, after much mocking and teasing they had started to move Uhura's things from her quarters to what had become theirs.
"You don't mind taking care of it, do you?" she asked distractedly.
"I believe that is the reason why I asked a shift switch," he replied, his lips forming a tight line. Nyota knew his contrite expression wasn't due to the task at hand but what had followed his request that morning. Spock had come very close to losing his temper again. Jim Kirk really did know how to push his First Officer's buttons. Spock had to meditate for two hours after their conversation to lower his level of aggravation.
Nyota winced in sympathy and came closer to her lovely roommate. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," she said softly, tiptoeing to peck his thin lips.
"You do not need to apologize for someone else's actions," he said accepting her kiss nonetheless.
She had grinned then because he seemed to enjoy their closeness too. "Eh, you know me and my illogical emotional state," she shrugged and without warning he leaned back in and kissed her, a little more deeply. When he pulled away, she had some difficulty to regain her breathing. He found that he enjoyed her reaction but then again there was a lot about Nyota Uhura that he enjoyed.
"I am quite fond of both," he told her simply. It always seemed simple with him. Human male lost so much time beating around the bush, being afraid of the truth and carelessly giving up on important things to concentrate on more shallow ones. They often tried too hard to achieve something that could have been as simple to get as a kiss on the cheek. Spock, with all his uncertainties about human nature, had shown exceptional abilities in the matters of love. He had stolen her heart; the most beautiful thing about all of it was that he barely tried.
Nyota sighed in contentment. "Go," she breathed and he obliged. He entered their room and deposed the box on their bed. He moved with efficiency and rapidity and he should have been done in less than four minutes had he not been interrupted by a framed picture he found among the books. He slowly reached out for it and pulled it out, carefully. He did not know how long he starred at the two smiling faces on the picture but it must have been quite a while because some time later he felt Nyota's hand on his shoulder.
"I should have taken care of that box myself," she whispered, her words laced with sorrow and guilt. The silence that surrounded them was nearly as painful to Nyota as the joyful memories the picture Spock held was evoking. She moved closer and leaned over his arm to take a better look. She watched worriedly as he moved his index finger over their faces. Did he realize he was doing so? For the first time in quite a long time, she couldn't decipher any of the fleeting emotions that were playing in his eyes. Maybe it was because they were all tainted with regret. Regret always seemed to annihilate all other emotions.
"I do not remember this," he said after a while, his voice strangely flat.
"I had asked McCoy to take it," Nyota almost smiled as she remembered it. "He liked her no non-sense tone," she explained but Spock merely blinked. She felt her chest tighten uncomfortably; an unresponsive Spock was never something she liked to see. She slowly put her hand over his, and when she met no resistance she guided him to the bed. She took the picture away and made him lay down before joining him. She rested her head on his chest, delicately and waited for him to speak. She had learned a long time ago that he was grateful for her help but she needed to let him speak first. So she remained silent, listening to his heartbeats and watching the picture that was taken when she was still a cadet.
Cadet Uhura was looking at the water from the edge of the lawn of the Starfleet Academy. She let the tears fall freely; her back was turned to any intruder. They wouldn't care anyway. The warm breeze was playing with her long hair and helping calm her agitated nerves. She hated not being in control, not knowing how to act, not knowing how to remain as stoic and unaffected as he always was. She detested her physical need to be nearer. She loathed the longing in her heart. She despised those fleeting moment where she allowed hope to misguide her. But most of all, she hated herself for being so easily distracted.
"It's so beautiful out here," a delicate voice said startling her. She quickly wiped away her tears before turning to look at the woman. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you," the woman apologized. Nyota stared at her confusedly; there was something very familiar about this woman.
"It's okay," she replied still looking intently at her face.
"It's so quiet here, so peaceful," the woman said returning her gaze to the waves.
Uhura nodded, somehow the delicate tones of this stranger's voice was soothing her. "It always was my favorite place on Campus. It's a nice place to think."
"Away from prying eyes," the woman said knowingly and Nyota wanted to smile.
"I guess," she shrugged instead. A few beats passed, where they both kept their eyes on the water. Nyota realized after a few minutes that her cheeks were completely dry and her heart less heavy. "Are you here on a visit? I can't remember ever seeing you around," Nyota finally asked feeling oddly comfortable with this stranger she had barely exchanged a few words with.
"I'm here to visit my son," the older woman had replied with a soft smile. There was something very warm and accepting about her smile.
"Oh, which year? Maybe I know him," Nyota asked with a grin.
"Oh I doubt you are personally acquainted with my son; he's a professor here," she had answered with a touch of pride in her voice. Nyota turned her curious eyes to her and there it was again, that warm accepting smile. "Maybe you've heard of Mr. Spock?"
Nyota shifted slightly on the bed as her memory of her first encounter with Amanda Grayson washed over her. Her eyes. She should have known those eyes anywhere, she used to dream about them every night and yet she had not been able to recognize them when she saw them on the person who had given them to her future lover.
When Amanda visited again a few months later, things were different for Nyota. Firstly, she was granted the post of Mr. Spock's aide, a position that allowed her to access more data than any other student of her year could. Secondly, she had finally been roomed with a decent person. Gaila might be a challenge sometimes but she had become a true friend. And finally Kirk had stopped all futile attempts at trying to get her attention; a semblance of a friendship was even slowly starting to take place between them.
Unfortunately for the Cadet, her ultimate problem remained the same. She still dreamed of piercing dark eyes. She still shivered at the sound of his voice. She still hoped. Mr. Spock had allowed her in his life in some capacity; they had become friends largely due to the amount of time they spent together and the multiple interests they shared but he seemed oblivious to the profound attachment she felt for him.
She had been his aide for two months when he announced that Amanda was coming back to Earth soon.
"That's great," she had smiled fondly.
"I, too, look forward to her arrival," Spock had inclined his head.
"When will she be here?"
"My father has a symposium in Paris. She will join me as soon as it starts."
"Won't she wait until he can come too?"
"That is unnecessary," he replied looking back down at the many PADDs in front of them.
She sensed that it must be a sensitive subject and decided it would be wise to change topics. "Well, I hope I get to see her when she gets here; your mother is very kind." Silence engulfed them soon after that but Spock found it more difficult than usual to take hold of his powerful emotions. Something he could indentify as nervousness was slowly taking a toll on his control.
Amanda landed in San Francisco a week later and was welcomed by her unchanging son. Stiff posture, expressionless face and yet a gentle warmth radiating from his deep brown eyes. She felt a wave of love crashing over her; she had missed her boy.
"Mother," he nodded at her when she came to stand in front of him.
"Son," she grinned, eyes teasing. "It's good to see you."
He nodded again. "Indeed. I trust you had a pleasant trip."
"It was fine," she said linking her arms with his as they started their way toward his quarters. "You father sends his regards," she said her tone a little too innocent for Spock to believe her.
"He does?" he quirked an eyebrow. She nodded without looking at him. "After so many years spent amongst people who do not lie, I would believe you would have adhered to the Vulcan way," he commented and his tone was lighter, showing his amusement. His mother, the peacemaker. At first, the drift that had been created between the two men in Amanda's life had been difficult to manage for all three of them but she refused to take sides and that helped somehow. Now, Spock found his mother's effort to reconcile them endearing.
She laughed. "Well, I'm sure he wanted to but could not find the proper way," she amended.
"I find that hard to believe as well, but if it makes you happy I can acknowledge that it was a courageous attempt."
Amanda stayed almost a whole week and only got the chance to see Nyota a couple of times in passing. She could not be sure but she had a feeling that her son was trying to keep them away from each other. Of course, it would mean that he was purposefully trying to hide something which not only was illogical, it was odd as well. She enquired several times if something was wrong but Spock assured her coolly that everything was perfectly as it was supposed to be. That did not quench Amanda's worries.
They were eating at a restaurant near campus the night before she was due back in Paris when she finally understood. They were almost finished with dinner when Miss Uhura entered the restaurant, arms in arms with a handsome gentleman. Amanda wouldn't have paid much attention to it were it not for the suddenly stiff posture of her son. He was watching them intently as they were led to their table, not even realizing that he was watched as well. When they were finally settled, Miss Uhura took a look around the restaurant and her eyes widened slightly when they fell upon Amanda and Spock. A deep blush quickly made its way onto her chocolate cheeks before she looked away.
Amanda kept her eyes on her son, the clues finally settling in place. For a brief moment, the immensity of the truth had been like a punch in the guts. She had spent so many days worrying about her boy and what life would bring to someone so special. She hoped but never believed he would find what she and his father had found. He was, if it were possible, even less interested by the matters of love and attachment than the other Vulcans were. Or at least, that is what she thought. Seeing him now, unable to completely hide his emotions was astounding, if not a little unsettling.
Once the shock was over, it left place to silly giddiness. She wanted to know everything, she had so many questions to ask but Amanda knew that would be the wrong move. So she smiled quietly to herself and kept on observing. After a moment or two, Miss Uhura excused herself and slowly made her way to them. Her shoulders were a little too tense and her steps a little too quick but when she addressed them her voice did not shake with nervousness.
"Commander, Mrs. Grayson," she nodded to them both with a small smile. "Good evening"
Spock only inclined his head once without speaking but his mother saw the twitch of his jaw. "Good evening, Miss Uhura," Amanda smiled warmly. "How are you? I really wish we could have had more time to catch up," she said glancing sideways to her still tense son.
"Yes, it's a shame our schedules weren't compatible. I am good, thanks. How was your stay?"
"Very pleasant, thank you, dear. Who is the gentleman with you?" Amanda asked lightly. Miss Uhura's eyes widened slightly, the question taking her off guard, but recovered quickly. She was about to respond when Spock interrupted her.
"Mother, I hardly think that is an appropriate query," he said looking at her.
"No, it's okay. That is Dr McCoy, a friend of mine. Our roommate unceremoniously dumped us to do God knows what, so Leonard invited me to dinner," she said with an embarrassed roll of her eyes.
"Well, that was very nice of him," Amanda declared.
"Indeed," Miss Uhura said tightly and if she didn't seen her lips move, Amanda would have thought that Spock was the one who said the word. The similarities between the two younger people seemed so obvious now. It had been very difficult for his mother in that instant to hide her smirk. "Was your dinner enjoyable?" Miss Uhura turned her pretty eyes to Spock. His eyes snapped to hers and Amanda was sure that they softened considerably.
"Yes, it was," he said voice impassive. She nodded and offered them a smile.
"Well, I should get back. I just wanted to say good bye in case we don't see each other before you leave tomorrow," Miss Uhura addressed Amanda.
"That's awfully sweet," Amanda grinned and ignored Spock's frown that she knew must have been caused by her odd turn of phrase. "It was very nice seeing you again. Hopefully next time I come visit, we'll get to have more than a few minutes together," she quickly looked at her son who now seemed fascinated by his drink.
"I'd like that very much," Miss Uhura nodded. "Have a nice flight," she smiled one last time before making her way back to her friend.
"She's lovely," Amanda commented off-handedly. When she got no response she added, "I'm sure Sarek would like her," he finally looked up at her, eyes searching. "I've read one of her reports this morning," she explained. At Spock's raised eyebrow, she elaborated. "You were working this morning, I was bored… It was on your desk," she shrugged unapologetically. "She's very clever."
"Her work is indeed remarkable," he replied, choosing to ignore Amanda's disrespect of his privacy.
"Her work, of course," she replied finally smirking and almost laughed when Spock looked away. "Come on, let's go," she said gathering her purse and her long jacket. He followed suit and they made their way to the exit. When they passed by her table, Spock and Miss Uhura exchanged a look before the young woman turned to wave at his mother.
Two weeks later, back in Vulcan, Amanda wasn't surprised when she received a communication from Spock asking her, for research purposes only, what the human mating rituals were.
Spock's lips twisted slightly as he remembered her delighted laughter. He had been rather uncomfortable at the time but seeing her smile so hugely had been somewhat of a relief. She used to worry too much about his well being. Irrational as it was for his Vulcan side, the part of him that was hers had always appreciated her devotion.
"She was very deeply attached to you," he finally spoke.
"As was I," Nyota said with a soft smile. He turned slightly and took the framed picture from where Nyota had left it on the nightstand. "You should not keep this away," he told her, still looking at the faces of the two women who ever mattered to him.
"I didn't want to cause you any discomfort," she admitted before kissing his neck tenderly.
"You wouldn't have. I wish I had more pictures of her."
"I always thought it would look good on your desk," she said with a sweet smile, making his heart weak with desire and admiration for her. He turned to her and leaned over to kiss her slowly and thoroughly. He was not used to initiating physical attention but sometimes, these things could not be controlled. She brought the best out of him.
"I'm so happy for you Spock," his mother murmured the last time she visited before her tragic ending. "She's a wonderful woman."
"I am aware of that fact, Mother," he admitted looking at Nyota who was a few feet away clearing away the table in Spock's quarter at the academy. His mother had wanted to help but she had been shooed away. "I do not…" he paused looking for the right word, "it seems unlikely that she feels such inclination toward my person," he finished with a pronounced frown.
"Oh dear, unlikely or not, what matters is that she does," his mother had said taking his hand in hers. And for the first time Spock truly understood that while their purpose was admirable, the logic that Vulcans lived by could not compete with the serenity that was brought by his mother's statement.
The picture had been taken that day while he was teaching a class. The two women had spent the afternoon together and when they crossed path with McCoy, Nyota had asked him that small favor. It had remained hidden in one of her drawers but it meant a lot to the Communication Officer.
A few years down the road when, their son came bouncing into their living quarters, a framed picture in his hands and curiosity shinning in his deep brown eyes, his grandmother's, Nyota was glad she had been carrying a camera that day.
A/N: hope you guys liked it. Also I'm looking for a beta so if anyone's interested, please contact me (links are all in my profile). Thanks again.