After much planning and scheming, Macey McHenry (Peacock), Rebecca Baxter (Duchess), and Elizabeth Sutton (Bookworm) managed to capture the Subject, otherwise known as Zachary Goode. They used three Napotine patches and an abandoned classroom, using duct tape to restrain the Subject in a chair. The objection was to get some questions answered. The interview went as follows:
The Subject: What? What the hell- -struggles with duct tape-
Peacock: Stop it. My head hurts.
The Subject: Macey? What the heck- get me out of here- -struggles-
Duchess: Stop! We're here to ask you a few questions.
The Subject: A few- a few- what the- a few questions? And you couldn't call me or something?
Bookworm: Did you know that on an average landline there are sixteen piggybackers who can listen to your every word?
The Subject: No- what the... Did Cammie tell you to do this?
Duchess: No, we decided to do it ourselves. We just want to ask you a few questions.
The Subject: Look, my number is 555-1987, I don't, I mean, it's secure... I have and AIM-
Peacock: Be quiet. Where's the question sheet?
The Subject: Question sheet? -raises eyebrow, smirks-
Duchess: -holds question sheet up- Here it is, Mace. Number One: Do you enjoy making Cammie suffer?
The Subject: Suffer? -smirks-
Peacock: On June 18th, she was reported to have complained about you. September 24th, she was showing obvious signs of distress. November 2nd, she received a note from you. December, she was reported to have seen you, and, quote, you didn't seem to want to kiss her, unquote.
The Subject: Um... Excuse me?
Duchess: C'mon pretty boy.
The Subject: She thought I didn't want to kiss her?
Peacock: Did you not show any signs of affection and/or have testosterone-
The Subject: No- no, wait, she thought I didn't want to kiss her?
Duchess: If you don't answer, I will tear out your liver.
The Subject: She-
Duchess: With nail clippers.
The Subject: No, I believe you. But, she wanted to kiss me?
Duchess: Where are my nail clippers?
The Subject: Okay! Okay! No, I don't enjoy making her suffer. It's- it's just a game that I like to play.
Peacock: So you think playing with Cammie is an equivalent to Monopoly.
The Subject: No!
The Subject: No.
Bookworm: Diner Dash?
The Subject: -hesitation- No...?
Duchess: Hesitation. Are you lying?
The Subject: No! Can you let me go?
Peacock: No. We can come back to this.
Duchess: True. Second question.
Bookworm: Why do you call her Gallagher Girl?
The Subject: Long story.
Duchess: We have time.
The Subject: It's just a stupid nickname.
Duchess: I found my nail clippers!
The Subject: No, no, no, I mean, it's like an inside joke thing.
Peacock: Do you think it gives you an air of coolness and confidence, maybe mystery?
The Subject: -frowns- Yes...?
Peacock: Cuz it doesn't. And if I have to hear Cammie complain about you one more time in her sleep-
The Subject: She talks about me in her sleep?
Note: Ego may have inflated slightly here.
Peacock: Write a note that his ego may have inflated at that previous point of conversation.
The Subject: Are you guys clinically insane?
Bookworm: -takes breath-
The Subject: Don't. Answer.
Peacock: Next question. Do you like Cammie?
The Subject: Yes.
Peacock: As a friend, or as a girlfriend?
The Subject: Yes.
Duchess: Which one?
The Subject: You're going to show this to her, right? -looks genuinely worried-
Peacock: You can count on it.
The Subject: -thinks- Can you cut the next part out?
Duchess: Why? She's our best friend. We have to tell her, or-
The Subject: I'm being serious.
Duchess: -pause- Maybe.
The Subject: -sighs- /BLOCKED/
to be continued