Breaking Every Rule
Chapter Fourteen: Only By The Night
"So…do you want to talk yet?" Chuck asked carefully as Blair unpacked her things at the van der Woodsen/Bass household. Over the past week, Blair had been going in and out of a major depression. There were times when she could successfully block out what had happened to her mother. Sometimes, she was able to convince herself that it was all a bad dream. For the most part, when she was with Chuck or Serena or anyone else, she could hide her sadness pretty well (even though Chuck and Serena knew her well enough to know she was just pretending). And it helped that her dad was there. He had always been able to make everything better, and, even though he couldn't fix this, having him around did make a difference. But today, he was leaving to go back to France, and Tyler was going with him.
Sure, the death of Eleanor Waldorf caused Harold to decide to move back to New York, but he still had to return to France for a few months to sell their home, pack up, and finish some things at work. And because it was summer, Tyler had decided to go with him.
The truth was, that as much of a help that Serena and Chuck have been, it was her father that was really holding her together. Now, she would be moving into the van der Woodsen/Bass house in the Hamptons until her dad and Roman could return to New York and, as much as she loved Chuck and Serena, she so wasn't in the mood for them to try to fix everything. Blair couldn't understand why they would just let her be.
Chuck knew how delicate of a subject this was, and he couldn't risk pissing her off. It was the last thing she needed. "Or we don't have to talk. If you just wanna sit down. You haven't rested all day and you must be exhausted. Have you even eaten anything?"
"Chuck…" Blair sighed and turned to look at him. She walked up to where he was sitting on her bed and stood in front of him. "I told you I'm not going to block you out and I won't, ok? But that doesn't mean that I have to talk about it. And I'm not a child. When I'm tired, I'll rest."
"I know, but at the funeral today you seemed so—"
"Stop, Chuck." Blair cut him off…she seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. Before he could say anything else, Blair moved even closer to Chuck and slowly climbed up on his lap so she was straddling his waist. "You want to help?" she asked, pressing her lips against his, "distract me."
Part of him really wanted to do just that. But this other part, the part that reminded him he was in love with Blair, gave him the strength to pull away. "Blair…do you really want to do this? I mean, you're upset. It's been a really rough day for you."
Instead of responding, she just kissed him again before pulling away just long enough to lift her dress over her head. "I want you so badly," she whispered in his ear and grinded her waist against his. "Don't make me beg, Chuck."
Sure, at first he wanted to say no, because she was just trying to find a way to keep herself from feeling pain. But finally he gave into both of their desires and let Blair kiss him again and lightly push him back so he is lying down in bed with her on top of him. She began to unbutton his shirt, probably ripping one or two of the buttons off in the process and then Chuck placed pulled her into him and kissed her gently.
But Blair didn't want gentle, sensual love making right now. She wanted that mid-blowing, crazy, passionate sex that they both loved so much. "Don't baby me, Bass." She ordered. "Stop treating me like I'm going to break any second." With that said, Blair pounced on Chuck, kissing him again and the moved to take his pants and boxers off and then flipped them over so he was on top of her. "Just take me…now."
"Hey, B." Serena greeted her best friend with a sympathetic smile as she walked into the guest room that Blair would be staying in. "How are you feeling?"
Blair straightened out her skirt before responding. "I don't know why everyone keeps asking me that. I'm fine."
"I said I'm fine, Serena." Blair then let out a sigh and glanced at the Chanel watch Chuck had given her. Apparently she and Chuck spend much longer in bed than she had thought and it was getting late. Well, not late, but she could use the time to her advantage. "It's been a long day. I just need to not talk about it right now."
"Ok." Serena nodded. "Why don't we do something to keep your mind off everything? Like watch Tiffany's!"
Blair scoffed. "I highly doubt watching Tiffany's is going to do anything to help me right now, S." Blair just paused for a moment, thinking over her options. What she really needed to do was not be around Serena and Chuck right now. They were going to make her talk about everything and she just couldn't handle that. She needed a plan. "We can go out." Blair stated, as if it made perfect sense, trying to gear the subject away from her mother so she could go back to her denial. "It's Saturday night. Let's go to Cain."
"Cain." Chuck repeated, a little bit shocked. "Since when are you into clubbing?"
"Since right now." She responded and then looked at Serena. "You up for it?"
"Obviously!" Serena grinned. Blair never went out with her. We're gonna have so much fun tonight."
"Seriously, Blair," Chuck started, but Blair was already in her closet, looking for something to wear tonight. "This isn't a good idea. You can't just pretend that everything is ok."
For a split second, Blair wanted to yell at him, but she held it back when she found the perfect dress to wear and immediately started to get changed. "I'm going out tonight, Chuck. If you don't want to come, you don't have to."
Instead of responding, Chuck just looked over at Serena. Maybe she could talk some sense into Blair. But he must have forgotten how stupid she could be, because her only response was to say, "Don't worry, Chuck. I'll go with Blair and everything will be fine." He glared at her, but Blair wasn't really paying attention, she was too busy getting dressed. "We're not going to drink or anything. I'm sure we'll go and dance for a couple of songs, and then Blair will want to go home."
"Serena," Chuck said, a little more sternly, but kept his voice low enough so she couldn't here. "Are you crazy? This is a horrible idea."
"No it's not. Blair doesn't need to sit here and moap. What she needs to do is try to have fun. You've been with her all day. Let me take over."
And despite the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, he agreed. "Fine," he said, "but call me and let me know how she's doing, ok?"
"Ok, dad," Serena joked and then turned to go get dressed to go out. Chuck couldn't help but wonder when he had become the reasonable one in the relationship.
"I knew you'd have fun!" Serena giggled as she and Blair both downed their third shot.
"Of course I'm having fun," Blair responded as she stood up and grabbed her best friends hand. "Let's dance, ok?"
Before Serena could respond with an obvious 'yes', Blair was dragging her onto the dance floor and twirling around with her best friend. It was amazing because for the first time since her mom had died she wasn't sad. She just felt…free. Blair very rarely got drunk. Sure, she got tipsy every once in a while, but this was different. Right now, she felt indestructible, beautiful, and carefree. There were no thoughts of Eleanor Waldorf and her accident. And if only for tonight, Blair was happy.
After about five more songs and two more shots, a thought popped into Serena's head. "Shit!" she said as she took Blair's hand and led her to the bathroom where it was a least a little quieter.
"Serenaaaaaaa" Blair started in a sing-songy voice. "Serena van der Woodsennnnnn! Why'd we stop dancing? Let's go back and dance!"
"Just give me a minute," she called out from the bathroom stall. "I have to pee." And as Serena was taking care of her business, she sent a quick 'everything is ok' text to Chuck before walking out of the stall to an empty bathroom. "Blair?" Serena asked, assuming that she had decided to go to the bathroom too. "B?"
There was no answer, and that immediately sobered Serena up. She took out her phone and called her best friend, only to find that she left her purse, along with her phone in the bathroom. That was all Serena needed to rush back into the club and find her best friend.
After she searched the dance floor and looked over the whole club, Serena made her way to the bartender. "Hey!" she yelled for his attention, and he looked over at the hot blonde. "Have you seen the girl I was with earlier? Brunette, blue dress—"
"Yeah, she just left with some guy."
"A guy?" Serena asked with wide eyes. "I…was he wearing a scarf?"
"Nope," the bartender shrugged. "But he was pretty insistent on getting her out of here. She didn't object so—"
"Oh my God." Serena said to herself and rushed outside before making the call she was dreading. "Chuck," she greeted.
"Are you on your way back yet? Because it's getting late, and Blair—"
"I can't find her."
Serena sighed, "We were in the bathroom and she left when I was peeing and her bag was there and the bartender said…" she let her voice trail off.
Chuck, who was waiting frantically on the other side of the phone said, "The bartended said what?"
She let out a breath before finishing the sentence. "She's really drunk, Chuck, so it's not like she—"
"Serena!" he snapped at her, and she jumped a little before finally responding.
"He said she left with a guy." Chuck didn't say anything, and Serena wasn't sure what the silence meant, but she kept talking. "I asked and he didn't know anything about him. And neither did anyone else I asked. What do we do?"
"What do we do?" Chuck spat. "There's nothing we can do because you decided to take Blair out and get her drunk tonight of all nights and…God, how could you be so stupid, S?"
"I…" Serena started, "I just wanted to make her feel better. I didn't think this would happen."
Chuck let out a deep breath. Sure, Serena shouldn't have brought Blair to a club when she was so fragile, but yelling at her wasn't helping. "Just keep looking around the club…maybe she didn't end up leaving. I'm gonna stay here incase she shows up."
With that said, Chuck hung up the phone and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of scotch. He knew that even if Blair did cheat on him tonight, he wouldn't break up with her. She would cheat on him in her right mind. But what Chuck was really nervous about was if the guy forced her to do something. It was one thing for her to drunkenly agree to have sex with someone, but if the guy hurt her, he didn't know what he'd do.
He kept picturing all these different scenarios in his head. Blair willingly having sex with some stranger. Some psycho forcing himself on Blair as she tried to fight him off. He couldn't stop the thoughts from running through his head until a dinging sound snapped him back into reality.
Chuck pretty much ran over to the elevator to find Blair, laughing and hanging of Nate's arm. "Natie Archiballld. I haven't spoken to you in like forever, and then you just show up and—"
"What's going on here?"
Nate's eyes widened at the sight of Chuck, livid, but Blair on the other hand, let go of Nate and stumbled over to her boyfriend. She wrapped her arms around his neck before speaking. "Hi boyfriend." She poked his chest before continuing to speak, "You're the best boyfriend in the whole wide world, Chuckster."
He ignored Blair for a moment and glared at Nate, as he kept his arms securely wrapped around Blair's waist, both because he was so relieved she was there, and to keep her from falling over. "I can't believe you would go near her. What? Did you try to take advantage of her?"
"No, Chuck, it's nothing like that. I—"
"You what, Nathaniel?" Chuck asked as he led Blair so she could sit down on the couch before getting closer to Nate. "Haven't you done enough to her? To both of us?"
"Seriously Chuck. I was only with Blair because—"
Chuck scoffed before cutting Nate off again. "Because what? I can't wait to here this one!"
"If you would shut up for a second I could tell you that I didn't touch Blair and you should be thanking me because when I showed up she was grinding with that ass hole John Mayer and we both know how he treats women." Chuck's mouth shut at Nate's announcement, and he kept speaking. "And I may have screwed up in the past, but I would never hurt Blair. I thought I was doing the right thing by getting her home safely!"
Chuck just looked from Nate to Blair and then back to Nate. "I…"
"Whatever," Nate said quietly. "Just because I fucked up in December doesn't mean I would do it again. You know how sorry I am about that, but you should know that I'm not like that."
"I get it." Chuck responded, and was actually about to apologize when Blair stood up, put her hand over her mouth and ran out of the room. "Fuck," he whispered under his breath before looking back at Nate. "Thanks for getting her back safe…I should go take care of her."
"Do you need help?" Nate offered, already knowing that Chuck would say no.
And he almost did say no. He really wanted to, because the last person he wanted right now was Nate, but the guy did kind of prove himself tonight, and Chuck did need help. "Actually," he started, "you can call Serena and tell her to come home, and have her pick up some bagels. She's gonna need them in the morning…I need to check on her." With that said, Chuck rushed to go check on his girlfriend.