First let me tell you that this chapter is currently unbeta'd – so please forgive me for the mistakes you will find below. I'm not sure exactly where my beta is, but I'm assuming that R/L has just gotten in the way. I'll let you know in the A/N at the end why I'm posting it like this instead of waiting.
Disclaimer – Don't own anything; it all belongs to Stephanie Meyer.
This story is rated M for a reason, and finally this chapter is the reason behind it. If you want to avoid, it's the last third of EPOV at the end. You won't miss anything really pertinent to the story.
Thanks to my Twilighted Beta – Totoro
Please check out the A/N at the end as it's important! Thanks!!!
"Um… Edward, was that who I thought it was?" Bella sleepily asked me.
"Yeah, pretty sure. Stay here, I'll be right back," I replied while getting out of bed and pulling on some fleece pants over my boxers and putting on a T-shirt.
I watched her snuggle deeper into my bed and grab my pillow and clutch it tightly. It almost appeared as if she was inhaling it, but shook that thought off as silly.
I made my way slowly downstairs to see my Mom cleaning up the kitchen from the mess she had made, the tray of coffee and pancakes still sitting on my island.
"Hi Mom," I sheepishly said, coming behind her and giving her a big hug.
"Happy Birthday sweetie. I'm so sorry to intrude. I didn't know that you and Bella had gotten so… um…close…" She leaned down and gave me a maternal kiss on the cheek before hugging me gently.
"We aren't really…We had kind of a rough night… She told me about the death of her dad and she was pretty upset. I wanted to comfort her, so I asked her to stay," I told my mom, but most of it came out sounding like a question.
"hmmmm… I'm glad you were able to do that for her." She paused and then turned around to look at me. "I'm sorry to have barged in. I just thought since I was in town I would surprise you with breakfast in bed. I shouldn't have assumed you wouldn't have had company. I'm sorry honey," she murmured as she went back to puttering around the kitchen putting things away.
I sat down on a stool at the island and asked a question that had been lingering in my mind since last night's discussion. "Mom? Did you know anything about what happened to Chief Swan?"
She stopped what she was doing and turned to face me. "Only what your dad told me when he came home from work that night. Just that he died in a car crash and that Bella was injured. He was pretty tight lipped about the whole thing. I'm sorry. Maybe you should ask your father?" she said before hugging me. "You really like this girl don't you?"
"Always have mom… I always have…"
"I remember when you used to stare at that picture all day. I was so glad when your brother got you into writing music to help with the heartache," she mentioned, while nodding towards the picture on my wall.
"I'm just trying not to mess it up now that I've found her."
"How about I don't keep you any longer? Why don't you go back to bed with that lovely girl you have upstairs. There's coffee made and pancake mixed up in the refrigerator should you want to make those when you get up. I'll see you at three. Have a good day," she smirked and winked as she grabbed her purse and headed out for the door.
"Thanks mom. Love you."
I headed back upstairs to see that Bella hadn't moved an inch from where I left her. Her brown hair was splayed across her pillow and she was still clutching my pillow, burying her face deeply into it.
I slipped the pajama bottoms and t-shirt off and tried to gently extricate the pillow from Bella's grasp. Sliding into bed, I pulled her into my chest, relishing in the feel and scent of her skin. She mumbled something in her sleep, but snuggled closer laying her hand across my heart and burrowing her head into the nook of my shoulder.
When I awoke some time later I noticed that I was now alone and grasping the pillow that Bella had laid on. I looked around but she wasn't in my room. I hurriedly got out of bed and put back on the clothes from earlier and went in search for her, hoping that she hadn't decided to run off before I had a chance to talk to her more.
After making it down the stairs, I saw her curled up in one of my wingback chairs staring at the empty fireplace lost in thought. Not wanting to scare her, I called to her from the kitchen, "Bella, did you get some coffee?"
"Yep, I'm good, thanks," she replied, turning her head slightly to smile at me.
I exhaled in relief that she seemed to be in good spirits and went to pour myself some coffee. It was then that I noticed that she was clutching my beloved UCLA mug between her two dainty hands taking a long drawn out sip. For once I actually didn't mind someone using that cup. I looked up in my cupboard to see what else I had. After filling up my mug I made my way over to where she was sitting and leaned down to give her a kiss.
"Mmmm.... I like the way you say good morning," she teased.
"I'm glad you're still here, I was worried you had to go home."
"Nope, I've got some time before I need to go and get some things done. Sit with me?" she asked softly, nodding her head to the chair next to her.
"Good. I must say I like waking up with you here," I smiled and took a big gulp from my coffee.
"Happy Birthday Edward. How's it feel to be a quarter of a century?"
"About the same as it did yesterday only you're here with me, so it feels pretty damn good," I winked and noticed that she had returned to looking at the fireplace.
"Edward, where did you get this picture from? It's stunning." she asked, pointing towards the large photograph that hung above my mantle.
"Actually I took it." I paused to see if she had any recollection whatsoever about it.
"Really? When? The scenery looks so… familiar…"
"Bella, I took that on the day of our senior class photo. Don't you recognize the person in the picture?"
"What do you mean?" She stood up and looked closer at the oversized photo.
"Edward? Is that me?" she finally asked after careful inspection.
Standing to join her, I smiled and whispered "It's always been you..."
"How? I don't remember this ever being taken?" she said, turning to look at me.
I grasped her hands gently and began to tell her the story of the photo.
"I was taking pictures for the yearbook after we had our class picture. I looked up and saw you sitting on the bleachers looking off into the distance. You had your head resting on your arms and you just looked so… far away. The light from the sunset was hitting the dark clouds behind you and your eyes were lit up and the way the sun hit you, it appeared as if you were an angel…." I could see so many different emotions fleeting in her eyes as I told her the story behind it.
"I remember that day. I was waiting for my dad to pick me up because my truck was in the shop."
"I took the picture with a telephoto lens; I was standing a ways away, too shy to actually talk to you…"
"God, it's so beautiful. You are a man of many talents Edward." She turned and snuggled into my chest as we both just stood looking back at the large photo.
"You know this was the inspiration for my song Brown Eyes, right?" I pulled away slightly to look down at her lovely face.
"No! Wow, so I was your first song? You never cease to surprise me."
"Yeah, Emmett got tired of my moping around the house pining for you and suggested I do something constructive with my angst." I smiled down at her and tugged her into sitting with me in the chair.
"I'm so sorry I didn't know you back then…" she whispered into my chest.
"Bella, can I ask you something? About your accident?" I felt her tense up at my question but she conceded with a nod, so I continued. "What happened after? I mean what happened with Jake, and how did you finish up school and end up in Denver?" I rattled the questions off more quickly than I intended, more nervous about the answer than I thought.
"Wow… you want all the nitty gritty dirty details?" She squeezed me and looked up into my eyes. She looked so broken and all I could think of was how to build her back up and make her whole again. "Only if you want to. I'd like to know, but you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"No, no… I want you to know, it's just a little hard…" She was clutching me and burrowing her face into my chest.
"Why don't you tell me one thing at a time? Baby steps, right?" I said soothingly while running my hand through her hair.
"Okay. I'll try. Um… well I was in a really very angry and bad place when I woke up from the coma. I sulked and didn't want to talk or deal with anything like a petulant child. Jake tried to console me but I really just shut myself off. It only took about two weeks for him to finally leave me. My mom flew up from Florida, but she too was of no comfort to me. She stuck around for about a month, but I really was awful and told her to get the hell out of my life. I was just so angry… I can't really describe the weight of guilt that I was holding inside of me. It was all consuming. Your dad tried to get me to talk to a therapist, but I would just sit silently whenever I would go into a session…"
"My dad?" What did my dad have to do with this? I know he worked there during the time she would have been a patient, but how could he have not told me that the girl of my dreams was under his care? I thought angrily to myself.
"Hu? Oh, yeah, your dad was my main physician when I was there. I really pulled the privacy card when I was there. I didn't want anyone to know what had happened to me. I sort of just wanted to disappear, so I hid in that hospital. Your dad wasn't allowed to say anything because I specifically forbid him to."
"So aside from your mom and Jake, no one knew where you were?" I pulled her closer to me not fully understanding how someone would choose to go through such a tragedy by themselves.
"Pretty much. I mean, Jake mentioned it to some of my college friends, but I wouldn't allow any visitors aside from my mom & Jake.
"Wow, I just can't believe you did that alone…" I murmured into her hair.
"I've always been stubborn, so put me in an extreme situation like that, not only was I grieving the loss of my dad, but I was burned badly, in extreme amounts of pain and I had no hair. I just didn't want anyone to see me as this vulnerable weak child that I felt like. I haven't talked to my mom or Jake since then. Actually I haven't been back to Forks since it happened either. My dad's lawyer came to me with the insurance and will papers. I told him to hire someone to clean out the house; to save any knickknacks or pictures and to put them into storage, but to give all the furniture and clothes to Goodwill. I wanted nothing to do with the past. So I have a few boxes sitting in a prepaid storage facility in Port Angeles that I've never actually been to. The house sold relatively soon after it was put on the market. I took the money from my dad's insurance and the house and put most of it in savings and the rest I bought a small apartment near campus, so I wouldn't have to have a roommate. I went back to school that summer and took as full a course load as possible to try and graduate on time. I switched my major from TV broadcast journalism to radio, for obvious reasons…" She sighed and took a deep breath before continuing. I didn't want to interrupt her train of thought, so did the only thing I could and hold her tightly in my arms trying to console her from the dark memories I was forcing her to confront.
"I had pushed all of my friends away, so any time I had outside of class and studying was focused on finding a job anywhere outside of Washington. I got lucky that the station in Denver hired me not too long after graduation. I packed up and sold my apartment and moved to Denver the summer after graduation. It was while I was working that I realized how little I had actually dealt with my guilt and grief. We did an on location gig at one of the hospitals there and suddenly I felt the desperate need to volunteer my time to help others. At first I couldn't work in the burn units, so I stuck to mainly the pediatric ward by reading and playing games with the kids with cancer. One day they were short staffed in the burn unit and asked me if I could help them out for the day. It was then that I knew what my penance was going to be. The rest is history…" She blew out a gust of air as she ended her story. Rubbing my chest lightly with her short nails, she finally turned her head up to look into my moist eyes and said, "I've never told anyone all of that. Alice only knew about the accident, but we never talked about this…" She leaned up and kissed me softly.
"Thank you for trusting me with that," I said, while returning her kiss. "Did you ever go back into therapy after you left the hospital? I just can't imagine how you dealt with all of that on your own."
"No, I just sort of always had the mindset that I needed to put my big girl panties on and just deal with it. My natural stubborn nature didn't help with that either." She smirked and I could see in her eyes she was trying to lighten the mood and probably change the subject.
"Okay, well you know it's never too late right?" I kissed her right behind her ear but was interrupted by her stomach grumbling loudly.
"Looks like we need to feed someone," I teased, trying to lighten the mood. Nudging her gently off my lap I asked, "Do you like pancakes?"
"Mmm… especially if you're cooking." She grinned and took my hand as we walked back towards the kitchen.
We made our way to the kitchen and had a nice breakfast from the pancakes my mom had already mixed up for us. All too soon it was time for Bella to head home and get her day started.
"Alright, I better head home. I need to get some things done around the house before tonight."
I leaned in and kissed her softly before whispering, "Bella, stay with me again tonight? I loved waking up with you in my arms. Please? For my birthday?" I unabashedly begged. I could see the smirk appear on her lips as she leaned in and nibbled on my earlobe.
"Well, when you beg so nicely, how can I resist?" she teased. I growled in response, feeling my cock spring to life.
"Mmm… I'll pick you up at five thirty then?" Kissing her passionately before tucking her into her car.
"See you later."
I wandered back into my house after she drove away daydreaming about holding a naked Bella tight to my chest and ravishing her silly. I had a few hours to kill before my mother came by to get ready for my birthday dinner party.
Deciding that I needed to go for a quick run to work out some of my excessive sexual tension, I changed clothes and drove up to Will Rogers State Park. I like to run up the trail and take in the beautiful view of the Pacific from the top. After a punishing run, I made it home to see that my mom had already arrived.
"Hi sweetie, how was your morning?"
"It was really nice. Thanks for the pancakes, they were delicious." I winked and headed upstairs to take a quick shower. My run didn't quite quell my need for some relief. I was looking forward to having a little shower time with my beautiful Bella and the 'big guy'.
I had been back at Edward's house for almost an hour and my nerves were still buzzing. He had picked me up and brought me back to a house filled with his parents and a few close friends. I was still mortified about being discovered in Edward's bed by his mother this morning and I wished that Carlisle would stop looking at me with eyes that knew all my dirty secrets. From the corner of the room Rosalie was scowling at me when I felt Edward's hand reach around my waist as he nuzzled my neck.
"How's the most beautiful woman in the room doing?"
"I'm okay," I sighed, lying instead of telling him how on edge I felt amongst a room full of relative strangers. "How's the birthday boy?"
"I'm better now that I have you in my arms again," he whispered into my ear, brushing his nose against my sensitive neck.
"I can't even look your mother in the eye Edward, how am I going to survive dinner?" I asked playfully, knowing that Edward would just tell me that it wasn't a big deal for the fortieth time since it happened.
"Baby, she's just happy that I'm happy. You need to stop worrying." He nuzzled further into my neck before we heard his name being called out.
"Edward, come on. You owe me a game of pool. I can't let your last win stand without a rematch." Some friend of Edward's whose name I couldn't remember, shouted from the game room up to him.
"Do you mind if I play one quick game with Kurt? I kicked his ass pretty bad the last time we played and I have a feeling he wants some vengeance."
"Nope, go on. I'll see if your mom needs help with something." He gave me a quick peck on the cheek before jogging down to the other room shouting back at Kurt that he was going to 'own him' or something or other. I took a moment to stare at the beautiful photo of me once again before I felt someone watching me. Turning my head, I saw that Esme was standing a few feet away with an amused smirk on her face. I could feel my blush start to betray my mortification over this morning and ogling a picture of myself. How self absorbed could I seem?
"Bella, I'm so glad you could come tonight," Esme commented, before coming to stand beside me facing the fireplace.
"I wouldn't miss Edward's big day for the world. Was there anything I can help you with in the kitchen?" I turned to look at her, but saw only her profile as she was deep in thought looking at the same picture I was only moments ago.
"No, no… everything is good. Just waiting for it to finish up…" I saw her turn to face me with a look of remorse in her eyes. "I wanted to apologize about this morning. I shouldn't have presumed that Edward was alone. I am so rarely in the same place as he is for his birthday that I thought I would surprise him. Well, I did, but it wasn't exactly the effect I was looking for…" She chuckled softly, looking at me wistfully before continuing. "Edward's my baby. He was such an introverted child. So smart. Too smart for his age sometimes… He was always a bit of a loner. It broke my heart to see him so miserable in school. After he took this picture, he would spend hours staring at it up in his room. Not doing or saying anything. Just staring, as if he wished it was a postcard he could just step into and walk off into the sunset." She nodded at the photo of me and looked down to see if I was grasping what she was telling me.
"You were the never ending crush. Carlisle and I kept thinking that he would find someone else to think about and he would snap out of the funk that he was in. It wasn't until Emmett suggested he try his hand at composing music that he worked himself through it."
"Um, Mrs. Cullen, I honestly didn't know he liked me back then….. I really wish I did…" I started to say only to be cut off mid-thought.
"I know dear, he was very good at pining for you from afar. When you both graduated and he moved to Los Angeles for school, he started to open up more and make friends. But he never talked about girls. He had grown into his looks and I knew that he was handsome, even beyond a mother's eye. I think he's always been holding out for you…"
"He mentioned that he hasn't really dated anyone to me."
"You know he's in love with you right? I know it's not my place to speak for him, but he does." Her confession threw me a bit and I looked at her with a shocked expression. We had only been dating for a couple of weeks, yet she thought he loved me?
"Hell, I think he's been in love with the thought of you since high school, but to see him tonight it's like a revelation. He just beams at you with a look that reminds me of how Carlisle looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking. I just don't want to see his heart broken. I'm sure you can understand that?" She turned towards me again, looking sternly into my eyes to reiterate her seriousness.
"Mrs. Cullen, I appreciate what you are saying and while I have no intention of breaking his heart, only time will tell. We're both very new to this, not only our relationship but to dating in general. We're bound to make mistakes, but I like your son very much and only wish that I could have known him when we were in high school." I rambled that out quickly hoping to placate Edward's mother. Before I could get worried about her reaction to my comments I was suddenly swept up in a tight motherly embrace. I hadn't been hugged like that in so long that my body immediately responded to its warmth. I leaned into her and felt my arms encircle her waist hugging back.
"Bella, I think you're exactly what Edward needs. I know I'm not your mother, but I hope that if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm available to you. I don't know much about your past, but I know a broken soul when I see one." She was murmuring into my hair while rubbing my back soothingly. I was having a hard time not letting the tears that were so close to breaching the surface to spill forth. This was supposed to be a party and I refused to ruin this evening.
Standing up and backing away from the hug, I could only smile slightly and thank Esme for her kindness with a promise to be good to her son.
My birthday party had gone pretty well. My mother, of course out did herself with the meal, making my favorite, prime rib and Yorkshire pudding and German chocolate cake for dessert. I had felt bad for a while knowing that Bella looked uncomfortable for the first hour or so, even trying to get her engaged with some of my friends, it wasn't until Alice and Jasper showed up that she found her comfort zone. Jasper's session ran long, so they arrived just as dinner was about to be served, with Alice running around apologizing for their tardiness to anyone who would listen.
When I saw my Mom confront Bella while I was playing pool, I got a little bit nervous. But once I caught up to Bella, she just told me my mom wanted to apologize about this morning and waved it off as no big deal. She seemed to have gotten over her humiliation about this morning's events, so I figured all was well.
My parents left shortly after dinner, leaving us 'kids' to do our thing. We all ended up retreating to the game room and everyone fell into either playing pool or Xbox. I managed to get Bella to loosen up and we played a couple of rounds of eight ball against Jasper and Alice. By midnight, I was ready for the night to wind down, and made my rounds to my friends telling them that I had an early morning meeting in an effort to get some alone time with Bella.
I had long pictured what it would feel like to take things with Bella to another level and hoped that perhaps we could slowly progress towards making that happen tonight. I wasn't expecting us to 'get it on', but I was hoping that she would at least let me see her scars, and that would allow us to progress the physical part of our relationship further. I would give her all the time she needed, but knew that she would need a little nudge in the right direction. Her self-consciousness over her burns was going to be a very large hurdle to get over, and I knew that I needed to be gentle and reassuring with her.
"Penny for your thoughts?" a quiet voice asked, shaking me out the trance I appeared to be in.
"Hey, "I leaned down and gave Bella a kiss on the top of her head and pulled her into my side. "I was just thinking about you…"
"Were you now? In what sort of capacity birthday boy?" she teased, hugging me closely.
"mmm… the most salacious kind of course…" I whispered, kissing her neck below her earlobe, right where I know she likes it.
"Really? Do tell..." she hummed, glancing up at with me with an inquisitive look.
"Just that I'm glad to finally be alone with you."
"And now that you have me, what pray tell are you going to do with me?" She smiled up at me wickedly before taking off in a sprint up the stairs.
"Bella…" I laughed heartily "What are you doing?" I asked chasing after her, finally catching up to her in my bedroom. I tackled her into my large bed with us both smiling like two little kids after a trip to the park.
"Sorry, Edward, I felt like a quick game of tag." She said, trying to unearth herself from my tackle.
I wasn't ready to release her yet, and pulled her back down underneath me and quickly lowered my mouth onto her lips, making us both gasp from its intensity. I felt her sigh into my mouth as she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me in closer. Finally breaking apart for a much needed breath, I held my forehead to hers and just stared into her expressive chocolate eyes.
"Edward…" she whispered, before kissing me feverishly along my jaw and down my throat, making me growl with desire.
I wanted nothing more than to ravage her silly, but knew that we needed to have a chat before we could do that. I gently extricated myself from her firm grasp and sat up. I could tell from the look on her face that she was hurt and a little concerned that I was pulling away from her. Trying to put her mind at ease, I leaned in kissed her temple gently before grasping her hands in mind.
"Bella, can we slow down for one second?" I could see the confusion running through her head as she looked at me longingly for answers.
"Baby, will you show me?" I asked her gently rubbing my thumbs over the back of her hand.
"Show you what Edward? I…. I don't understand, what's wrong?" she pleaded with me.
"Bella honey, you know what I'm talking about. Please, show me." I begged, looking deep into her eyes to try and let her know through my own that we needed to get past this to move forward.
"What? But… I… can't, you… you won't love me anymore… if, if you see…" she pulled her hands back from mine and tears began streaming down her scared face.
Grabbing hold of her hands once again, I knelt down in front of her to reassure her of my intentions.
"Bella, look at me." I demanded. "I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. Before I even knew you, I loved you. This isn't going to change anything. We need to move forward, let me in. Please, let me see, let me help make you whole." I kissed the tops of her knuckles and placed my head into her lap waiting for her response. I could hear her hiccupped sobs, but she hadn't pulled her hands away. I felt a faint kiss on the top of my head, causing me to look up.
I glanced into her swollen eyes to see resignation.
"Edward, I… I want to let you in… but… but I'm so scared," she confessed, taking one of her hands out of my own and running it through my hair.
"I know… I know you are… but please, let me in." I tried to soothe her. After a few moments of just clinging to one another, she finally pulled away and looked up at me.
"oh… okay, I'll try," she mumbled before taking my head between her hands and pulling me into an intense kiss.
I continued returning her kiss as my fingers began to work on the buttons of her shirt.
Pulling away for a moment, I wanted to make sure she was okay with what my fingers were doing. I didn't want her to feel pressured in the least. When she looked down, she smiled sadly at me and pulled me back into her embrace, letting me know that she was okay.
I slowly made my way down one button at a time until I finished my task. Pulling back once again, I grasped the sides of her shirt and looked into her eyes before silently asking permission to push it from her shoulders.
A quick nod was all she gave me before I let my hands slip under and push the fabric off of her.
I kissed away the streaks of tears that now marked her face. She was now sitting before me looking so frail and vulnerable in her little navy blue lace bra that barely covered her pert nipples that were straining against the taut fabric.
She slowly pivoted, turning her back towards me, allowing me to view the remnants of her burn scars.
The fiery red skin covered her entire back and most of her right shoulder. I ran my hand lovingly down her spine and began tracing the tattoo of the yin and yang fish that marked her left shoulder. One fish was on her clean smooth healthy skin and the other was on the edge of her scar. Kissing between her shoulder blades, I felt her flinch, but relax when I ran my hands from her shoulder down her arm.
"You have a tattoo…"
"Mmhm… I got it to show the duality of my own nature. Attractive in the front, horrifying in the back. The fish represent my dad. His favorite pastime after all…" She said sadly. I could still see the tears streaking down her face as I reached back to wipe them from her cheek.
"Edward, how can you stand to look at me? Touch me?" she gasped, looking deep into my eyes.
"Bella, there are so many things that I love about you, and your looks are only a small fraction of that. Don't you see? You're charming and witty and intelligent and funny. You are this outgoing amazing woman one minute and this shy nervous woman the next. Your dichotomy is infectious and I love so much about what makes you… well, you." I exclaimed reverently, looking her straight in the eye. I wanted there to be no confusion about it.
"What would you do if when I took my shirt off you saw a scar down the middle of my chest from heart surgery? Would you like me any less? Looks are going to eventually fade, it's the traits that makes us uniquely us that will keep us together and happy, not whether I have a receding hairline or a paunch in my middle." I was rubbing her shoulders, willing her into understanding my point. While her scars were devastating they weren't the deal breaker that she was making them out to be and all I knew was that I needed to show her that.
"No, I can see your point. I guess I never really thought of it that way. I've been so attached to them for so long…" The tears seemed to be drying up a little bit and I bent down to give her a searing kiss to drill my longing for her home.
"mmm… baby, can I show you how much I care about you?" I murmured into her ear, taking the lobe into my mouth and nipping it before dropping down the column of her neck.
"It's…. um… it's been a long time, I… I don't know if I'm ready…" I interrupted her thought by swallowing it in another kiss, running my tongue over her teeth and pulling her closer to me.
"I just want to love you…taste you… we don't have to go any further, please let me show you…" I kept repeating, moving my hands down to her breasts, feeling the swell of them tucked into lace. I longed to taste her and make her scream out my name. I could take care of my own pleasure for the night, but I just needed to see her come undone because of me.
She moaned under my ministrations and I took that as an affirmative to continue. Moving my hands around the back, I unclasped her bra, surprised that it didn't take me too long, after not having much experience in that area. I pulled the straps slowly from her shoulders and placed the material on the floor. Pulling away for a moment, I drank in the sight of her beautiful figure. She was sitting on my bed, topless with her tear streaked face giving me a smoldering look of lust. Her hair was now tousled after our make out session and her chest heaved with unrestrained desire. Her breasts were small, but were so alluring that my mouth descended quickly to take one of her nipples into my mouth.
"Uh… god that feels so good…" she moaned running her hands through my hair and down my back. "You have too many clothes on… please shirt off…" she mumbled trying to tug the material out of my pants.
"This is all about you right now baby…" I reiterated, but helped loosen the material and pull it over my head. I would keep the pants on tonight, no matter what. I didn't want to rush this or force her into a lust induced decision about sex. No, tonight was all about her and I hoped that even with my little experience, I could make it enjoyable for her. It was my birthday gift to myself.
I laid her back onto the bed and proceeded to continue my kisses and nips down her chest, slowly giving one nipple my mouth's attention while my hand worked on the other before switching. Her hands dove into my hair, tugging my head into her chest. I loved listening to her moans and pants as I decided to drop further down her torso.
"Oh, God… um Edward…" she said suddenly, gently lifting my chin to look at her.
"Mmm… what baby?"
"I've… um, I've never…" she stuttered while her face flamed, while she threw her arm over her eyes in frustration.
"Bella, has no one ever gone down on you before? It's okay baby…. I can't wait to make you feel good…" I interrupted and put mouth back to work on her taut stomach.
"Um… yeah, not exactly… I've never, uh… you know…" she mumbled without pulling her arm from across her eyes. The blush was now spreading down causing her chest to color as well.
"Wait… have you never had an orgasm?" I paused and sat up slightly on my forearms. "Will you look at me for a sec? It's nothing to be embarrassed about, and I have every intention of relieving you of that status tonight." I knew that I was sounding cocky, but after getting her to show me her back, I didn't want to ruin the night by not getting past this right now.
I saw her peek one eye out from under her arm, before sheepishly admitting, "No, I haven't. Jacob tried a couple times when we were together, but I just couldn't get out of my head enough to enjoy it." She let out a big sigh before flinging both her arms down onto the bed beside her. "How am I almost 25 and orgasm-less? " she moaned. I tried not to laugh when she said it, but it was hard not to.
"So you've never given yourself one either?" I moved up next to her so that I could look her in the face. I didn't want this to be a big deal.
"No…I lived with Charlie during my teen years. The whole sex discussion boiled down to a one minute conversation that basically said, don't do it. If you're going to do it, wrap that shit up, and you have too much potential in life to be knocked up and married until after college." She stated, trying to mimic the way Charlie would have said it to her all those years ago.
She smiled at the memory, but continued, "So no, I just never really thought about it? Hell I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty, so that should tell you something right there…" I leaned down and kissed her softly before asking her if I could continue.
"You can try, but please don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't happen. I don't want your fragile ego to be broken before we've even begun," she teased, kissing me quickly before throwing her arm once again over her eyes.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." I joked, giving her a wink.
I began where I started, taking my time to show affection to every inch of her torso. She was so responsive to my touch and it made me a little angry to think that the knucklehead who came before me did such a lousy job showing her pleasure.
Sliding my hand down, I reached to unbutton her skirt. I could have just pushed it up, but I wanted to see all of her in her beautiful glory. She lifted up and allowed me to slide both it and her tiny navy panties down her long smooth legs. I ran my hands slowly back up her legs, relishing in the feeling of her soft skin. I could tell that she was getting nervous about being naked in front of me by the tension I saw in her face and clenched hands next to her. Wanting to reassure her of how spectacular she looked splayed out before me, I leaned down next to her ear and whispered, "God, you're even more delectable than I could have ever imagined. I can't wait to feel you come undone for me." She moaned softly but didn't release the tension in her face like I had hoped.
Moving to the end of the bed, I grasped her ankle and began peppering her with kisses, slowly and methodically moving towards where I ultimately couldn't wait to be.
"Ugh… God Edward that feels so good…" I barely heard above her pants.
Finally reaching my destination, I slid one finger through her folds before licking her slickness off my finger. "Bella, you taste divine." I ran my thumb over her firm nub and felt her hips buck up against the sensation. "Does that feel good baby?" Her response was a nod, but she still refused to release her tension. Thinking quickly, I thought of a way to get her mind off of what I was doing, yet still keep her in the moment.
"Baby? Can you do something for me?" I asked, while still continuing to stroke her softly.
"hmmm?" She moved her arm away from her face so to look down at me.
"Have you ever fantasized about us?" I nuzzled the inside of her thigh as I waited for her response.
"Um… yeah, why?" she replied, panic creeping into her voice.
"Relax; I just want to hear about one. Can you do that? Tell me one of your fantasies? I have so many that I can't wait to share with you, but I want to hear one of yours, okay?" I could see the confusion in her eyes, but I didn't want to let on that I was having her do this to get her from thinking too much. I just wanted her to enjoy the feelings coursing through her body and I would also benefit by hearing what she liked and didn't.
"I guess so…" she quirked her head to the side still confused, but had a look of introspection trying to think of something to say.
"Close your eyes and tell me where we are, what are you doing? What am I doing?" I coaxed her gently.
"Um… I'm standing down in your solarium with my back to the kitchen. I'm leaning on your piano looking out at the ocean…"
I began to gently lick her folds as one hand began caressing her breast. "Mmhm… where am I?"
"Oh god… that feels so good…" she sighs and I can begin to see the tension leaving her hands and face. "Um you walk up behind me and slide your hands down my body before tugging on my hips so that I am flush against your chest and I can feel your erection against me… Ugh, Edward…" she panted.
"What are we wearing?" I nudge her to continue while I thrust one finger inside her.
"Oh Jesus…" she exclaims at the sudden assault.
"Jesus isn't here right now, keep going," I urge.
"I'm just in one of your white button down shirts and I can feel your hands begin to tug the hem of the shirt up so that my bare ass is exposed to you. Your hands start rubbing and kneading my ass while you are kissing and biting my neck…"
"Mmmhmm… then what" I murmur still sucking hard on her clit while adding another finger.
"Oh… uh… you're touching me, making sure that I'm ready for you. You have trapped me against the piano and won't let me turn around. I can hear you unzip your pants as you push my head gently down against the piano and enter me in one swift motion… Ugh, god, right there Edward…"
As she mentions me entering her, I push one more finger inside her and begin to feel her start to tense, as her hips start bucking off the bed, grinding into my mouth.
"Tell me more…"
"You are fucking me so hard against your piano. Oh God… I'm… I'm…..You reach around to rub my clit with one hand and are biting the back of my neck. You tell me to cum with you and we both release around each other, collapsing in a heap against the side of your piano...Ohhhhhh…..God…. I'm cumming Edward…."
I smile against her center as I gently remove my fingers and lap up the remains of her orgasm until I feel her hands pushing my head away. Frowning, I look up to see her staring at me in astonishment and affection.
"Sorry… it's just really sensitive," she pants, tugging on my hair to get me to come up next to her. "Thank you…" she whispers, giving me a huge satisfied smile before pulling my face in to kiss her. Before I have a chance to warn her, I hear her comment, "huh, so this is what I taste like" between breaths.
We lay next to one another for a long time, just caressing each other's skin and giving gentle loving kisses.
She turns her head slightly to quietly ask, "How did you learn how to do that? From what you told me we both don't have a lot of experience…"
"Porn, lots and lots of porn." I reply in my best Rainman voice. Bella threw me smile with an incredulous look, so I continued. "Hey, what do you want, I'm a single guy who's been living on his own for a long time." I shrugged and pulled her closer into my chest.
"To think that I could have been studying up all this time?" she chuckled, before snuggling in closer to me. It wasn't too long before I could hear Bella's breathing even out, letting me know that she'd fallen asleep. I smile down at her as I pull back the covers and place her gently under them. My erection had finally decided that it had waited long enough and requires immediate attention. Slipping quietly into the bathroom, I turn on the shower and before getting in, I look at my reflection and see the shit eating grin plastered on my face.
"Best. Birthday. EVER! " I say to myself before climbing in to the warm water to relieve some tension.
A/N – IMPORTANT – PLEASE READ!!
First let me say thanks to everyone who has put me on story alert, favorites and who have reviewed this story. I must say last chapter I only got 5 reviews – which made me kind of sad since it was sort of the big reveal, but I can't make you tell me your thoughts, so I just have to assume that you didn't really find their pasts that interesting, and for that, I apologize.
Second – Yes, Edward is a big ol' mamma's boy in this story.
Lastly – I wanted to let you all know that the reason I posted this unbeta'd is because of the imminent delivery of my second child. I'm due in a few days, and wanted to make sure this got posted before I end up in a sleepless fog for a while. If my beta gets back to me, I will post an edited version to replace this one. I am not, nor do I have any intention of giving up on this story. It may be a little while before the next chapter is posted, but I have it already in my mind, so hopefully it won't be too long. I may just post shorter chapters in the future just to get them out. This will not be an epic story – only maybe 4 or 5 more full length chapters tops.
So please tell me what you think – because if you don't tell me, I have to assume that I've disappointed you and that just makes a 9 month preggo lady very very sad indeed.