A/N: Welcome to another one of my random ideas! I am still not quite sure where this one came from but it is effectively a rewrite of another piece I was working on. The other one was supposed to be a analysis of Salvatore's works but I had no idea if i was allowed to post something like that. This would be the end result that I just thought of this minute (1:46 pm) and maybe about two minutes ago while reading online.

Disclaimer: I do not own Drizzt or any other Salvatore characters. They're his. I also do not own Mr. Salvatore whom I have decided to put on trial on this one. Any of the excerpts I have chosen to use are also not mine and have been copied word for word out of the books I bought but have been properly referenced. Kitana is mine.

This is purely a crackfic.


Salvatore on Trial

The young woman stood in front of the courtroom pacing in front of the older man on the stand. A delicate hand brushed across her face as she contemplated her legal interrogation. She was not sure how many in the room knew of the man's indicretions. It did not matter, however, she was playing lawyer today and it was her job to make these people see that man for what he was doing. Nevermind that the courtroom was an empty banquet hall and any people in the room were there via computer. The stand was a conveniently found cardboard box that also contained a small, orange-ish looking cat contently sleeping on the bottom.

"Mr. Salvatore!" Kitana said turning to the man suddenly. "Do you know why you are here?" The man said nothing and did not even so much as blink at the young woman. She cleared her throat and continued. "You are here because there have been many changes in your stories. Names have changed and certain aspects do not stay the same between them."

The man still did not move or say anything. Kitana resumed her pacing. "I have here evidence of these inconsistencies." she started again this time holding up sever pieces of paper. "I have made these notes in reference to your books which I have here behind me. For the sake of a true timeline I would like to begin with your Dark Elf Trilogy." She picked up a book entitled Homeland. "Allow me to read an excerpt."

(Homeland pages 42 and 43)

Alton blew another web form his mouth. "You are just a boy, an apprentice," he stammered. "Why would you-?"

"Kill him?" Masoj finished the thought. "Not to save you, if that is your hope." He spat down at the Faceless One's body. "Look at me, a prince of the sixth house, a cleaning steward for that wretched-"

"Hun'ett" Alton cut in. "House Hun'ett is the sixth house."

The younger drow put a finger to pursed lips. "Wait," he remarked with a widening smile, an evile of sarcasm. "We are the fifth house now, I suppose, with DeVir wiped out.

"This excerpt is the scene after Alton DeVir kills the Faceless one. If you would take a moment to notice the spelling of the Faceless One's apprentice you will see where I have chosen to point out the first change. The last name is 'Hun'ett'. If any of you here in the court has read this book and those following it you will have noticed that the spelling remains the same throughout The Dark Elf Trilogy, his brief mention in The Crystal Shard, he is not mentioned in The Legacy of the Drow series or The Paths of Darkness. However, in The Thousand Orcs it does change. Mr. Salvatore added an 'e' to the name making it 'Hun'ette'. I vaguely recall a third change of the name but I do not remember where from."

She finished this segment and looked around the room to see if anyone had responded. No one had anything to say and she continues.

"This is not the only time Mr. Salvatore here has changed the name of the characters in his books. Again from The Dark Elf Trilogy, the name of the Spider Queen started out as 'Lloth' this being the drow way of saying the name of their goddess. It changes in the book Exile when Drizzt goes to the city of the svirfnebli and Belwar makes the racial change from 'Lloth' to 'Lolth'. Obviously one cannot charge someone for making racial differences and the book clearly states the regional change. After Exile and The Dark Elf Trilogy, the spelling was permanently changed to 'Lolth' no matter the race of the person saying it. "

No one says anything. And Kitana goes on with her findings.

"Now then, let us turn our attention to The Silent Blade. In this book we are introduced to two new members of Jarlaxle's mercenary band, one of them a wizard-priest and the other a psionicist. Let's start with the psionicist.

"His name in The Silent Blade is 'Kimmuriel Oblodra'. He is from the fallen House Oblodra. The changes is not with Kimmuriel himself but his house name. If you can recall from Siege of Darkness 'Oblodra' is the formal name of the third house, the common name is 'Odran'. We first hear both of these names early on in the book when Jarlaxle is looking in on a meeting between the first and third matrons. First Matron Baenre is forcing Third Matron K'yorl 'Odran' to hand over more of her kobold slaves for the assuult on Mithral Hall. After that meeting any mention of the third house is contained to 'Oblodra'. It remains the same in all books Kimmuriel is mentioned afterward. Mr. Salvatore, do you have anything to say to this?"

The man in the stand still does not reply in any way.

"Silence still?" Kitana says incredulously "Let us continue then Mr. Salvatore. I'm sure you will eventually have something to say." She turns back to her computer audience. "The wizard-priest I mentioned before goes by the name of 'Rai'gy' in The Silent Blade. He does not gain an extensive roll until Servant of the Shard but you do not even need to go to that book itself for in the back of The Silent Blade is a preview. The change in the preview and the book itself is the same, the spelling of the name changes to 'Rai'guy'. He is not mentioned after Servant of the Shard." At this point Kitana has been standing still for all of five minutes. She pauses to let her audience absorb all that she has said. The young woman turns briefly to look at the man on the stand, his face is as blank as ever. He still does not move or offer any words in his defense.

Kitana holds in a sigh and gives her attention back to her audience. "I have two more of his name changes before we take recess. I am sure you are all familiar with the story of Drizzt's father. This change is only a minor one. We all know that the name is said and spelled 'Zaknafain'. It is the same all for onetime in Starless Night where for some reason Mr. Salvatore places an apostrophe in the middle of his name making it into 'Zak'nafain'. The name is changed back to its former spelling and is not changed again. A slip of the mind perhaps, Mr. Salvatore?"

She looked at him sourly. "This last one is also minor. In the book The Two Swords, the dwarf Nikwillig meets two moon elves after the rescue him from the river. On page 176 the elves are called Hyaline and Althelennia. In the very next paragraph, Hyaline is changed to Hralian and stays the same for the rest of the book and the minor mentions of him in The Orc King. I have yet to discern a reason for this particular change."

The court will now break for recess.


Kitana sat down at the kitchen table with her sandwich. Her friend sat down next to her causing her to look up. "Hi Hitori." she said and she took another bite.

"Why were you talking to yourself?" The half drow asked. He wasn't really worried, she did this kinds of things a lot.

"I'm not talking to myself, I have a computer audiance and I'm putting someone on trial." she replied with a mouth full of food.

Hitori raised an eyebrow. "Oh really, who is it?"

"You know that author I like? Salvatore?" the young woman asked, her friend nodded. "I noticed that there were a lot of things in his books that don't add up as the series' go on. I thought I would make it known to his other fans."

"And, uh, how did you get him here?"

Kitana did not have a chance to answer as the small orange cat came racing out of the 'court room'. His bushy tail trailed a sandy colored mass of some sort and something in the other room crashed to the hardwood floor with a loud, echoing bang. Kitana sighed and walked into the other room seeing that her cat had knocked over the box she had been using as a witness stand and her figure of Salvatore had also fallen to the floor. The paper she had used as a face was still stuck to the broom that was now broken in half. And the cat had run away with the wig.

"Damm it Monkey!" She yelled. "I was in the middle of a trial."

The cat in question was nowhere to be seen. Hitori stood in the doorway trying not to laugh too hard. "So what did the courtroom decide?" he asked.