"Fish tail?! Seriously?! Why the hell would he need fish tail?!" Sage shouted in frustration.
Sage, Cheyenne, and Linda are at the fishing pond fishing on the Professor's request for fish tail. It's essential for the potion he's making and since the pond owner is busy being a shark they don't have to pay. This time they were standing outside of the pond next to the lily pads so they wouldn't possibly get eaten by any more sharks.
"I miss Liiiink!" Linda shouted.
"It's not like he's leaving us or anything; he'll be back in a few hours . . . probably." Sage said.
"It seems he's a little at war with himse—do those lily pads look like they're glaring at us?" Cheyenne asked suspiciously.
"Geez, you're paranoid central today." Sage said.
"I just . . . I don't know, I just get the feeling we're being watched. . . and when they get their hands on us they're going to boil us in hot butter and mummify us with duct tape! Then after they're done cleaning us with lint rollers they have a dog named Jericho taste test us!" Cheyenne explained before bursting out in to tears. Sage and Linda look at each other with confused expressions.
"She must be Link deprived; like me." Linda said.
"Or just paranoid again; I thought you got over that weird phase." Sage said.
"Yeah, but I just wouldn't be Cheyenne if I didn't get paranoid every now and then." Cheyenne said.
"Oh yeah." Sage and Linda agreed.
After a good hour of fishing they were only able to catch three small fish. Hoping that would be enough they left the pond and headed back to the Professor's house. Upon arrival they see The Professor, Stephanie, and Navi running around the house cleaning up a mess of, what looked like, green goo.
"The hell happened here?" Sage asked.
Stephanie stopped running around and turned towards her friends "Oh thank god you guys are back! Professor and I had a small miscalculation and this happened," she motioned to the goo filled house, "so we need your help cleaning up!"
"But we got the fish tail." Linda whined.
"Fish tail?!" The Professor and Stephanie asked in surprise . . . and a little bit of irritation.
"Um . . . yes?" The other three said nervously.
The Professor and Stephanie just looked at each other until realization hit the Professor "OH YES! That was the miscalculation! We forgot to put in the fish tail!" he laughed and went back to cleaning.
Stephanie sighed "I could've sworn we put the fish tail in . . ."
"You win some, you lose some." Linda said while patting Stephanie on the back, "but you guys seem to lose more then you win so I'm not sure what idiom to use here."
Stephanie glared at Linda "Just put the fish in the fridge and help us clean."
They did as they were told and started helping clean the nasty green goo.
He was just about to enter the room where you fight dark Link! He got pretty far within an hour . . . and NO funky distractions! Unless you count that strange encounter he had with Princess Ruto forty five minutes ago!
*Forty-Five minutes ago!*
Link walks in to the room where Princess Ruto was standing. But instead of the ten year old Princess that he was familiar with there was a big blob with arms, legs, and light blue skin. Link stares at the blob in awe and it suddenly turns towards him.
"Link!" The blob said happily.
Link stepped back in surprise at the blob knowing his name "How do you know my name?"
"Because we're lovers, duh!" The blob said.
Link stares at the blob in confusion/disgust. "What do you mean?"
The blob gave Link and irritated glare "It's me, Ruto, you twit."
"When did we become lovers?" Link asked.
"You proposed to me remember?" Ruto asked.
Link's eyes widen at the surprising story that didn't actually happen "Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about."
Ruto stomped her blubbery foot; causing the ground to shake a little and Link to look around nervously, "Seven years ago when you asked for the Zora's Sapphire is when you proposed to me!"
Link just shrugged.
"Why don't you believe me?!" Ruto shouted irritably.
"Because that didn't actually happen, right?" Link asked.
Ruto glares at Link "I'll make you believe me one way or another . . . Oh . . . I see you got rid of the retarded animals." Ruto pointed out.
"No, more like taking a break from each other." Link said.
"Finally came to your senses huh?" Ruto said with a smirk. Link glared at her.
"Can you just tell me what you're doing here?" Link asked.
"I came to kill the evil spirit that infested my beautiful domain with pudding and pickle juice! I mean, what kind of sick joke was that?! Pickle juice and pudding don't even taste good together! Bastards!" Ruto explained.
"Okay. . . have you figured anything out?" Link asked.
"Yeah, some weird monster is like taking over this place so I'm headed over there to kick its ass and stuff. I just need to find the boss room and I'll kick his ass faster than you can say food." Ruto said confidently.
Sounds like I'm dealing with another Linda, Link thought.
Ruto gives Link a snotty look and folds her arms "I'm much more sophisticated than that damn dog."
"Linda's a raccoon." Link pointed out.
"Whatever it is, I'm more smarter than it." Ruto said. Link gives Ruto a dull look.
"Wait, how did you know what I was thinking?" Link asked.
"I'm hypnotic." Ruto said.
"What?" Link asked.
"I just know." Ruto said.
"All right . . . I'm going to go now." Link said.
"Wait! Follow me!" Ruto shouted before swimming towards hole in the ceiling. Unfortunately she didn't fit through the hole and got stuck. Of course Link, being the helpful hero, helped her get unstuck.
*BACK TO THE PRESENT*
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Link asked.
"Just go dammit!" Ruto shouted. She got stuck between a door frame, again, for the fifth time.
"But if we just move your fin a little you should-" Link started.
"Get the f*ck out of here!" Ruto shouted.
Link makes his way across the falling and rising statues then opens the door. Once inside, he looks at the room in awe. It looked like an endless sea with some debris around the room and a tree in the middle. Link continued to the other side of the room where the barred door was. Just as he was about to pass the tree a sword came swinging at him! He jumped back and unsheathed his weapons! A man, who looked very similar to him, but a little older, stepped out from behind the tree with his sword drawn. Link knew who it was, but kept his guard up.
"Sean . . ." Link said to himself.
"So you're the great Hero of Time everyone's talking about." Sean said. He looked Link up and down, "I don't see the resemblance."
"I need to ask you something." Link said.
"And what makes you think I'll be willing to answer?" Sean asked mockingly.
"What do you know about the animals I've been traveling with and their connection with Kris?" Link asked.
Sean looked at Link irritably "Why would you care about that?"
"Just answer my question." Link said.
"All I know is that they hate each other . . . probably. Those animals are either kicking Kris' ass or getting caught in one of Kris' traps." Sean said indifferently.
"Do you know what went on while I was in the Sacred Realm? Were you with my animals most of the time or with Kris?" Link asked.
"What's with all these lame ass questions? I'm just here to kill you." Sean said.
"Kill me?" Link asked.
Sean shrugged "Boss's orders."
"But you still haven't answered my questions." Link said.
"You want to know what happened while you were gone, fine. Your animals were trying to figure out how to turn human again so they went to that old guy, but he somehow made a potion that mutated one of your hairs into me. Kris ended up kidnapping that cow and me." Sean explained irritably.
"Do you know why they wanted to turn back human?" Link asked.
"Probably because they're tired of being stupid ass animals! Stop asking me all these questions about seven years ago! I'm just barely starting to get my memories back!" Sean said.
"What?" Link asked.
Sean rolled his eyes "When we were kidnapped, we were both brainwashed. They threw the cow into the dungeon and used me as a puppet. Happy?"
"Does this have anything to do with why you're here?" Link asked.
Sean shrugged "I figured if I came back to the place where it all began I'd find out more. But Kris came after me crying about how she was sorry and she didn't want to lose me so I came down here to get away from her. But of course some fat blob had to accuse me of haunting this place and chased me so I had to go deeper into the temple to get away from it."
"Sounds like you had it hard for the last couple days." Link said.
"You're damn right I'm having a hard time." Sean said.
"Look, I can help you, but I only will if you promise not to kill me." Link said.
Sean gave Link a dull look "Sorry, but I have to kill you whether my boss wanted me to or not."
"Why?" Link asked.
"Because you're in my way and I'm tired of being compared to the likes of you. I hate you as much as I hate the animals that created me and that damn pig family that kidnapped and brainwashed me." Sean said.
"I know you've been having a bad life so far, but that doesn't mean you have to take it out on me who had absolutely nothing to do with it." Link said.
"But it's because of you that I'm looked down on, or called 'Link's look-a-like', or used as some puppet! If you never existed than I would've never existed and forced to endure just being known as someone else's double!" Sean shouted.
"But-" Link started, but didn't get to finish because Sean lunged at him.
"Don't try and feed me your excuses!" Sean shouted.
Link brought up his shield and deflected Sean's attack. Sean slashed at Link a few more times before kicking Link's shield and forcing him a few steps back. He brought his sword up to strike Link, but instead got hit with Din's fire. He felt a quick but painful rush go through his body and stumbled back.
"What the hell was that?" Sean demanded.
"A powerful spell that the great fairy gave me." Link said.
"Figures you'd have to borrow someone else's power to get your job done." Sean mocked.
Link swung his sword with a horizontal slice only to have Sean duck down and kick his ankles. Link fell to his side, but quickly pushes himself off the ground. Sean uses a downward slice and Link catches it with his sword. Their swords were now locked together and Link had the upper hand. He was pushing Sean back and was just about to knock his sword out of his hand until Ruto came bursting through the wall!
"LINK NO! IT'S DANGEROUS!" Ruto shouted as she stomped her way over to them.
"Stay back!" Link warned.
"BUT LINK I LOVE YO-" Ruto started, but all her running caused the ground to break loose and she fell through.
Link runs over to the HUGE hole in the ground and looks down it "Ruto?"
Sean bursts out laughing "You've got to be kidding me!"
Link ignores Sean and calls out to Ruto "Ruto can you hear me?"
Link couldn't see anything but darkness and with no response from Ruto he was getting worried. He looked around to see if he could find a light source he could use. Instead, he noticed the endless sea disappeared and it was just an ordinary room. He looked the direction where Sean was supposed to be but he was gone! Link glanced around the room frantically. He steps back from the hole only to be caught in a choke hold. The more he struggled to get out of it, the tighter it got. It wasn't long before he saw the tip of a blade come closer to his face.
"You're quick to let your guard down in front of the enemy; I figured since you were the Hero of Time stuff like being wary of the enemy would be instilled in your brain." Sean mocked. He noticed Link wasn't going to respond so he decided to push his buttons a little more "I bet you wish your traitor friends were here huh?"
Link, getting irritated, struck Sean in the nose with the back of his head which caused Sean to lose focus. Link took this opportunity to grab Sean's forearm and throw him over his shoulder. Unfortunately for Sean, Link threw him into the hole Ruto made. Link watched as Sean disappeared in to the darkness. The barred doors on the other side of the room opened and Link took this as a sign to continue forward. He took one last look down the dark hole before continuing on to the next room and getting the long shot.
They were still cleaning the green goo in the Professor's house. Of course not much could get done since the goo was very sticky and messy.
"Can we take a break now; I'm tired!" Linda whined.
"Stop complaining so much, you're beginning to sound like Navi." Sage said.
"Shut your mouth! I do not complain that much!" Navi said.
"Do you even listen to half of the things that come out of your mouth?" Linda asked.
"Do you?" Navi asked back.
"All right, all right, let's take a small break just so we can relax our minds." The Professor said.
"I never knew cleaning goo could work your brain like that." Cheyenne said.
"Well, when you're animals, you have to tie knots with your kidneys and—I don't know what I'm saying just ignore me." Sage said.
"Wow I guess we are kind of brain dead." Stephanie said.
"I always thought you guys were just naturally like that." Navi said.
"That's because you're a bitch." Linda said.
"Anybody up for some fish tail?" The Professor asked happily.
"Isn't that for the potion you messed up earlier?" Sage asked.
"Of course it is, but it's fine as long as we eat the rest of the fish." The Professor said.
"I'm not a big fan of fish professor." Linda said.
"That's surprising." Navi said. Linda glares at Navi.
Before Linda could respond to Navi, there was a knock at the door. They all glance at each other before the Professor makes his way to the door. He opens it with a curious look that quickly turns to fear when a sword is pointed directly at it. He throws his hands up in surrender and the animals come rushing to his aid.
"Kris?! What the hell do you want?!" Sage asked.
Kris was standing on a wobbly log while pointing a dagger at the Professor's face "Just . . . sightseeing."
"Haven't you seen enough of this place when you kidnapped Kayla and Sean?" Stephanie asked.
"Well that didn't count since I didn't really look around for anything else." Kris said.
"Put the dagger away before I kick this log." Linda warned. Kris put the dagger away, but Linda kicked the log anyway and Kris fell flat on her face.
"What the hell?! I did what you asked!" Kris shouted.
"Yeah, but for some reason I'm getting really pissed just looking at you." Linda said.
"That doesn't give you the right to do something like that!" Kris shouted as she rubbed her nose, "I mean, what if I got seriously injured or something?!"
"You'll live." Sage said.
"Don't tell me you came over here to steal any more of the Professor's research!" Stephanie said.
"Yeah, what would you want with that stuff anyway?" Cheyenne asked.
"Did anything happen to Link?" Navi asked.
"Stop asking me so many questions!" Kris shouted.
"Then give us some answers!" The animals shouted back.
"About the research, well, I wanted to turn human too so I took it but ended up just bringing back some old memories." Kris explained.
"What do you mean?" Navi asked.
"Well, I know you're going to hate me for this but . . . after Sean and the cow were kidnapped they were brainwashed and now . . . for some reason after Sean accidentally saw me with the potion stuff he remembered a lot about when he was first made and stuff." Kris explained.
"So?" Cheyenne asked.
"Well . . . he got pissed and ran away so when I went after him he told me . . ." Tears started to form in Kris's eyes, ". . . he told me he hated me and didn't want to have anything to do with me."
"Understandable." Stephanie said.
Kris glared at Stephanie "He hates you guys too."
"What for? we didn't do anything." Sage said.
"You are the reason he exists . . . or something like that, I forgot whatever he said." Kris said.
"Great listener." Linda said sarcastically.
"Is that why you told Link all those lies about these idiots?" Navi asked, motioning to the animals. Kris nodded hesitantly.
"Wait, what are you talking about?" Sage asked.
"Is that why Link got pissed at us?" Stephanie asked.
"You made me lose my honey bunches of man because you're a petty bitch?!" Linda shouted.
"I was pissed! I just lost my best friend and Link just happened to walk by! I wasn't thinking when I said all those things I just wanted someone to suffer with me!" Kris shouted.
"Well now we're all pissed and miserable, you happy?" Stephanie asked.
"That's why I'm here! I came to apologize!" Kris said.
"I'm not going to accept it until Link hears it and squeezes me tight." Linda said.
Kris sighs "Fine, I need to apologize to him anyway."
"Well now that we're all friends again, let's have ourselves some fish tail!" The Professor said.
"Sorry, we're not friends; I just came to apologize for being emotionally unstable a while back." Kris said.
"I understand, but-" The Professor was interrupted by a huge explosion outside the house. They all ran outside only to find smoke coming out of a newly formed hole near the entrance of the lake.
"Is this normal?" The Professor asked.
"I was just about to ask you the same thing." Navi said.
"Didn't I already tell you that I don't leave my house?" The Professor asked.
*BACK TO LINK*
He was in the main room about to hook shot over to the pillar to get to the boss room when he felt a tremor coming from outside the temple. He began to worry about the animals and Navi. He wanted to get out of there as fast as possible to go back and check on them. He used the hook shot to get to the other side and when he entered the next room there was spike traps sliding back and forth! I don't know how else to word that . . . It took him a while to get to the boss door, but he somehow did it with only two torn boots!
"I'm just glad it's my boots and not my feet." Link said as he looks at his feet.
He opens the door and goes inside the boss room. Other than strangely colored water surrounding several platforms, the room looked normal. Link was looking at the spikes surrounding the room when he started hearing bubbling sounds. He turns towards the strange water and notices it starting to form into something. A few minutes later, a mutated water bunny with half an ear missing is standing on one of the platforms.
Link looks around the room curiously before looking back at the bunny "Uh . . . can I help you?"
The little pink ball that controls the water suddenly floats up to the bunny's head and it jumps at Link! He jumps out of the way just in time as the bunny splashes into the wall and exploding into a pile of water. The pink ball tries bouncing back into the water but Link uses his long shot to bring it closer to him. He slashes away at its ugliness, but it still manages to get back in the water to form more animals.
This time the water forms a giant water gorilla wearing a baseball glove. Link is a little more worried about this one. The pink ball floats up to the gorilla's head then it starts beating its chest and roaring at Link. Unfortunately for the pink ball, the gorilla beating its chest caused it to fall out of his head. The gorilla noticed this and picked up the pink ball, wondering what it was. The gorilla noticed Link just standing there which irritated him, for some reason, so he threw the ball at Link! Link moved to the side and the pink ball flew straight into one of the spikes, instantly killing him.
The water evaporated and the blue ring formed in the middle of the room. Link looks around the room a little confused before stepping into the blue ring. He was warped back into the Sacred Realm or the Temple of Light (apparently that's what it's called. . . I'm going to guess it's the same thing?) where fat Ruto was waiting for him.
"Link! I missed you!" Fat Ruto cried.
"I thought you died!" Link said with surprise.
"I can't die asshole; I'm the Sage of Water!" Fat Ruto shouted.
"Oh. . . Can I ask you something?" Link asked.
"What is it my love?" Fat Ruto asked.
"What the hell did I just sort of fight?" Link asked.
"You mean Morpha; the nucleus with an animal fetish?" Ruto asked.
"I guess that's what it was." Link said.
"You did a great job! Only my husband could do something like that!" Ruto said proudly.
"About that, when did we discuss this?" Link asked.
"I have to go now love, but believe me when I tell you this, I love you with all my heart and soul and body and mind so nothing will ever go wrong! Accept this medallion of our love!" Ruto shouted as she threw the water medallion, hitting Link in the face.
"Gee thanks. . ." Link said as he rubs his right eye.
Link is warped back to the little island in the middle of Lake Hylia. As he looks around he notices the lake being filled with water and Sheik wearing a cowboy outfit.
"Uh . . . Hey Sheik, what character are you supposed to be this time?" Link asked.
"I was supposed to be Billy the Kid, but one of your friends told me he was a criminal so I decided I am a man named Jack and the Bean Stalk." Sheik said.
"Who's that?" Link asked.
"Don't know, your friends told me he was some famous cowboy/hero thing where they come from." Sheik replied.
"Oh, that's interesting." Link said.
"Quick Link, get out your bow!" Sheik said.
"Why?" Link asked.
"I'm not sure; your friends said something about standing on that small platform and shooting the sunrise." Sheik said.
Link shrugged, stood on the platform, and pulled out his bow and arrows. Fifteen to twenty minutes later the sun began to rise. He took aim, shot the sun, and then the fire arrows were born! Sheik applauded and Link just smiled. Link swam over to the platform where the fire arrows were and brought it back to Sheik.
"Where am I supposed to put it?" Link asked.
"I don't know where do you put your other stuff?" Sheik asked.
"In my bag, but since this is on fire I'm not sure where I'm going to put it." Link said.
"Just put it where your other arrows are." Sheik said.
"But my stuff will catch on fire." Link said.
"Don't be ridiculous; just stick it in there!" Sheik said before grabbing the fire arrow and shoving it in Link's quiver. Of course everything else started to catch fire so Link pulled off his quiver and threw it in the lake.
"I think that strange hat is so tight around your head that you can't think straight." Link stated.
"At least it keeps the sun out of my eyes." Sheik said.
"But is it worth it?" Link asked.
"Don't worry; I'll buy you another quiver when we get to Kakariko." Sheik said.
"What makes you think I'm headed towards Kakariko?" Link asked.
"Oh yeah, this might be a bad time to let you know this, but your friends were kidnapped about an hour ago." Sheik said indifferently.
". . . WHAT?!" Link shouted.
All right! So here's the rest of your Christmas presents! The first being this chapter and the second being a new Deviantart account I made mostly for this fanfiction! yay...
I have drawn the main characters, excluding Link cause he's not mine(;_;) and Stephanie cause I just haven't gotten to her yet. So I'll post their hand drawn sketches later on tonight. I plan on turning them into digital art in the near future so you'll notice when you see them that they're a little rough... and their pupils are soul-less. WEEEE! So here's my deviantart account:
If it doesn't work just type in DrPuffBall in the search bar. If nothing pops up that means I haven't posted any of my pictures yet...bleh... BUH-BYE!