(AN: The unplanned third piece of the Sleeptalking/Headspace arc! This is Underhanded, dedicated to my best friend in the whole world for all the fabulous help she's given me this summer in terms of cosplay and conventions! She's basically my hero, and this is seriously the LEAST I could do. ILU RacerEff!)

Underhanded ch. 1

He'd decided long ago that he wasn't a big fan of Fridays. Even though they brought the end of the week, they usually also brought disaster, and he'd just have to start it all up again on Monday anyway - so why even bother? And yet certain events lately had been leading him - just a little - to reconsider.

Take today, for instance.

Urameshi Yusuke was walking out of the last day of his week's worth of detentions. The week had been kind of miserable - a bogus false-alarm of a case on Monday and Tuesday, a math test like no other on Thursday - and the detentions hadn't really helped his morale. But the first good sign of this Friday was the mere fact that he was escaping the school week, and was now heading back to his house. His house should have been empty when he arrived - good sign number two was that his mom was going out on a date, and she was going to be gone all night, which left Yusuke alone in the house to do basically whatever he wanted.

But he got home, and before he could unlock the door himself, good sign number three opened it.

"Heya," said Kuwabara, leaning on the doorframe a little, and before Yusuke could help himself, he broke out in a sly grin.

"Hey yourself," he teased, and without letting Kuwabara get another word in edgewise he kissed him, hard. Kuwabara's lips grinned against his and he returned it, and they half-walked, half-fell back into Yusuke's house, fumbling the door closed behind them. Yusuke lost track of the time that passed before his mouth was unoccupied enough to speak again.

"Mom's out," he said, a little out of breath.

Kuwabara's eyes darkened a little. "All night?"

"Oh, so we are on the same page then."

Stumbling, unable to control themselves, they maneuvered their shaky way to Yusuke's room. He thought about trying to make excuses for their almost constant eagerness for this - it was more prominent now that they'd thrown it out in the open, the constant interaction but lack of contact made it harder to go without, it was funny to see the looks on the girls' faces - but in reality, there was only one excuse, and it was we are teenage boys and we are horny. And Yusuke didn't really care that that's what it was, if it meant that as it grew dark outside his window he'd end up with hard-bodied, hard-headed, hard Kuwabara in bed with him, looking down at him where he hovered over his erection with mock innocence.

"How the hell did you get to be so hot, you jerkwad," he mumbled, breathing hot on Kuwabara's skin.

"I...I've always been this hot," he insisted, even as he squirmed a little. "You were just too stupid to pay attention and notice."

"Look who's talking," said Yusuke. "I'd say the stupid one is the guy who keeps running his big stupid mouth."

"You gonna make me shut up?"

"Somethin' like that." Yusuke ran the flat of his coarse, stubby fingernail in a slow easy line up the underside of Kuwabara's cock, lazily back and forth. This kind of did the opposite of shutting him up.

"Fuck - Urameshi - "

Yusuke paused. "...I'm in your bed and you're still calling me Urameshi?"

"Hey," said Kuwabara, "last time I checked this was your bed. And anyway, you still call me Kuwabara!"

"That's different! Everyone calls you Kuwabara."

"Well as long as I'm sayin' your name and not someone else's I don't see what the big idea is."

"Hmm...guess you've got a point." Yusuke repeated the path against Kuwabara's erection - this time with the tip of his tongue. Kuwabara shut up even less.

"Oh shit - oh god - "

"Mm, not my name, but I guess it's close enough." Kuwabara shot him a glare, and he grinned back, stroking at him with the tip of his finger again, knowing it was driving him crazy. Yusuke couldn't decide which was the most amazing, senselessly sexy part to watch - his face, scrunched up even uglier than usual in what was clearly a painful need, or his sweating muscular chest that rose and fell with every ragged breath, or the exact spot of contact where his hard and swollen shaft met the very tip of Yusuke's index finger...

Oh. Oh shit that was a hot idea. Could he actually do that?

Yusuke was sure as hell going to try. Pressing his mouth to a spot just below Kuwabara's navel as a distraction technique, Yusuke focused as much of his attention and energy as possible on his right index finger, as it traced up and down Kuwabara's erection. He felt it first, of course - it was his body, his power - but after a moment or two the light and heat began pulsing there so strongly that Kuwabara felt it too, and as it crossed over the ridge of his cockhead he screamed. First with no words. Then with plenty.

"OhshitUrameshiareyoudoingwhatIthinkyou'redoingbecauseoh, shit," he hissed, the muscles in his stomach tensing impossibly tighter, and with the way his frantic voice trembled through him Yusuke was getting a little tenser too.

"Is it hot?" he growled, kind of jealous. "You should do me like this sometime, with yours - "

"Anything," he groaned, "just - god - Urameshi - "

"You better," said Yusuke, and finally he gave in, and gave Kuwabara what he wanted - his lips and tongue closing around Kuwabara's erection, and his lightning-charged pointer finger pressing hot and firm to the sensitive spot just behind. Kuwabara was still crying out - loud enough that Yusuke was glad his mom wasn't home, loud enough that he was glad that the neighbors weren't home - and he was just driving Yusuke more and more crazy with his gasping breaths and undulations, right up until Kuwabara came, with a sound like...

Breaking glass?

As he struggled with whether to spit or swallow (and ended up doing a little bit of both), Yusuke couldn't help but get distracted, and he rolled over a little to look off the side of the bed. Sure enough, someone had thrown something straight through the glass of his window - a large grey stone, with a note tied to it that even in the first rays of moonlight looked to be written on stationery that was pink.

"What the hell..." he murmured, and letting the spirit energy dissipate back into him from his finger, he climbed down to retrieve it even as the bed's other occupant was protesting. He unfolded the message and leaned in next to Kuwabara so they could both read it.

I know your secret, Spirit Detective Urameshi, it read. And if you value your secret identity, and want to keep on doing the things you do, you will come to me, and come to me alone. Tomorrow morning at eleven on the roof of your high school. You would be wise to comply.

There was, naturally, no signature. Aside from the rose-colored paper, it sounded pretty forboding, but it couldn't have come at a worse time.

Because looking down at himself, Yusuke was pretty sure that now, he wasn't going to come at all.

Kuwabara seemed upset at the current state of things, too, and he huffed a sigh and lay back against Yusuke's pillows. "Man, I hate Fridays!"

"Tell me about it," he said icily.


Kuwabara stayed the night, of course, and they were able to do a lot of things that they wanted to do before he had to sneak back out. Yet somehow it just wasn't right. Yusuke woke up Saturday morning in the kind of pissed off state he hated the most - furious, but with no real explanation for the things that were making him angry yet, and nothing he could do about it except go along with the stupid note's instructions. Shaking his head at his mom, who'd crawled in shortly after Kuwabara had crawled out and was now passed out on the sofa, Yusuke went through his morning routine, tried to clean up at least some of the shards of glass that were strewn across his floor, and then headed out to Sarayashiki. He hoped he wouldn't get too many weird looks for being there on a weekend. As much as he was okay with just busting some ass for weird looks, it got annoying sometimes.

As he walked he fidgeted with the small silver ring that went in a circle through the cartilage of his left ear - a habit he'd picked up since his last real case had left him with the piercing - and tried to think about the situation. (Since he obviously hadn't really felt like doing so last night.) It sounded like someone out here in the real world was looking to get in some good old-fashioned blackmail on him with the knowledge that he was a spirit detective. Seeing as the mere words "spirit detective" were pretty much proof that this wasn't bullshit, Yusuke figured this person probably meant business, but he was having a hard time being intimidated. When your day job involved destroying monsters, arresting demons and fighting for your life on a regular basis, plain old human blackmail was basically nothing. And the pink stationery had hardly been threatening. So the only part that was actually a little scary was that this person had gotten this knowledge in the first place.

So what the hell was their game?

The school building was locked, naturally, but Yusuke had no trouble hoisting himself up onto the fire escape and heading up that way. About a third of the way up he paused and turned back a little. "I know you're following me, bonehead." There was no answer, and Yusuke rolled his eyes. "You're not gonna fool me, I know what being followed feels like and your goofy ass is as un-subtle as they come."

Kuwabara leaned out from behind one of the trees that surrounded the main Sarayashiki and scowled up at Yusuke. "Hey, you're not supposed to be good at that!"

"What I lack in spirit awareness you make up for in clumsiness!" Yusuke called back.

"Well I couldn't just let you do this alone!" said Kuwabara, walking closer to the fire escape.

"Hey, the note said to be alone so I was gonna come alone. It's not like I haven't done way crazier shit alone before."

"I know," said Kuwabara, breaking eye contact, "but that was...before." His scowl deepened, and Yusuke didn't need to read his mind (though he still missed that) to know what he meant.

"Pink stationery is hardly threatening," he said. "You think you can make do with just chilling down here and waiting until I actually sound like I'm in mortal peril to rush in and do the whole shining armor thing?"

"If you're getting your ass kicked I'm gonna laugh while I'm doing it, you know."

"I know."

They smiled at each other in a way that Yusuke refused to call fondly, and then Kuwabara went back to the tree and Yusuke scaled the fire escape to the roof.