Funny fluff time! And some OOC-ness. :D Look out!

And I'm greatly apologetic, but the Cosmic One does NOT like Kaname. I just don't. He irks me and I want him to take a flying leap. Or we could all hurl him off of something high. Just a thought…

But I made him totally OOC here…not jealous or possessive or self righteous or anything! Ha!

I don't own the characters of Vampire Knight. Matsuri Hino DOES.

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"Give it up already," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he watched the train wreck waiting to happen in front of him.

"Will you either help me or shut up?" she shot back, an angry snort following soon afterward.

"Calm down, Lily," Zero said, moving forward to hold the reins of the now agitated mare as she tossed her head in defiance.

"I'm thinking you must have a death wish," he muttered to the small, dark haired girl next to him.

"Look, I know you think you're the only one that can ride her, but I'm going to show you otherwise," Yuuki grumped, again placing her foot carefully in one stirrup.

White Lily reared up, Yuuki dancing backwards as his arm shot out, catching her before she toppled over backwards into the open stall behind her.

Still managing to hold Lily's reins, the silver haired youth steadied his companion, a slight blush creeping across her cheeks.

"If you're so dead set on this," he began ,"I guess there's no convincing you otherwise. You can be rather pig headed," he noted, flinching as she punched him in the arm with all the strength she could muster. Lucky for him, it wasn't much.

"Easy, Lily. It's just Yuuki. She's not going to hurt you," he said soothingly, attempting to calm the feisty animal.

"That's it. Now, just a little bit…" Yuuki mumbled, one hand gripping the saddle as she stuck her foot in the stirrup once more, swinging herself up onto Lily's back.

Having none of it, the snow white beast bucked, Yuuki holding on for dear life while her wail echoed throughout the stable. Zero could swear that his eardrums were going to rupture as he tried to get the animal back under control, pulling down on her bridle and uttering soothing words. Yuuki stared as he brought the unruly beast down from her hell raising, slowly proffering the reins to her.

"Ok, now whatever you do, don't use your heels on her. She's got ticklish flanks," he warned, Yuuki taking the reins in her hands.

"Yeah, sure," she mumbled, waving her hand dismissively. He took hold of her bridle, leading them out to the open pasture behind the stable.

"Now, just be gentle, Yuuki," he told her, taking a few steps back, his lavender eyes fixed upon her.

The events that followed would live on in infamy. No sooner had he released Lily's bridle than Yuuki dug her heels into the horse's sides, causing a blood curdling whinny to echo through the valley.

Lavender eyes impossibly wide, Zero watch them tear off through the field, Yuuki screeching like a banshee the as White Lily bucked. The tiny girl valiantly attempted to hold on for dear life, though her resistance was futile. With dismay, Zero took off after them, shouting as he ran.

"Yuuki, you idiot!" he bellowed, watching in sheer horror as they neared the perimeter fence, Lily jumping over it and tossing Yuuki, who went flying through the air.

Knowing he couldn't possibly reach his foolish companion quickly enough, Zero winced as she flew, legs flailing, landing with a thud beneath a giant oak.

As he ran towards his fallen cohort, he realized that she had landed in a rather precarious position, his eyes privy to the full on onslaught of the pink lace of her underwear.

Groaning, he jumped the fence, trying to look away while his hands moved quickly to make her modest.

"Ooooo…owie!" she groaned, lying on her back as she stared up at him. He swore he could see stars swimming in her eyes as she lay there, moaning loudly.

White Lily paced to and fro farther down in the field, seemingly pleased to have ridden herself of her burden.

"Yuuki? Are you hurt?" he asked, kneeling over her as she continued to groan. His hand reached out, clearing her russet hair from her eyes as he tried to assess the situation.

Trying to clear the image of the miniscule lace undergarment that had been scarred into his mind, he continued to see if she were broken.

"What hurts?" he asked, hoping she hadn't broken something. If she had, the Chairman would have his head on a platter.

"My poor body," she whimpered, not helping him in the least.

"Yuuki, can you sit up?" he wondered, assisting her as she did so.

"I'm fine, Zero. Carry me?" she asked, arms wrapping about his neck as he stood, adjusting her slight weight as his hands came up under her knees.

She relaxed against his back, her head dropping to his shoulder as he stalked back towards the dorms, a scowl upon his face.

"I told you. You never listen to me," he griped, causing her to sigh mightily.

"Can't you save your scolding for later? I'm broken, here," she whimpered, taking in the sweet, musky scent of him.

She'd become rather comfortable by the time they reached her room, Zero kicking the door open with one foot before stepping in, shutting the door behind him in much the same manner. Maneuvering carefully, he deposited her upon her bed, her body stretching out across the mattress.

"I ache," she muttered, soon finding her partner looming over her, his light brows furrowed.

"Damn it, Yuuki," he griped, his hand clearing her hair from her face.

He went about removing her uniform coat, tossing it aside before returning his attention to her. She was just lying there, a bit disheveled but not appearing any worse for wear.

"Are you in shock?" he asked suddenly, wondering why she was being so complacent.

"Shock? Zero, I told you, I'm….OWWWW!" she moaned, nearly causing him to fall backwards from his perch on her mattress.

"What hurts?" he asked, his jaw dropping at her answer.

"My butt," she replied, rolling over onto her stomach with effort.

"Your ass hurts," he said, making sure he'd gotten it right.

"That's what I said! Try landing on yours after you fly off a hell beast and see how it feels!" she bitched, burying her face in her pillow.

"Lily's not a hell beast, actually. If you'd only listened to me when I told you…"

"Zero, shut up and rub it," she interrupted, causing him to blink several times.

"You want me…to rub your ass," he noted, his eyes glancing down to the object of their conversation.

Damn that itty bitty skirt straight to hell.

"It hurrrrts," she ground out, her head turning over her shoulder to stare him down.

He stared right back at her, unable to grasp what it was she was asking him to do.

"No way am I going to rub your ass," he said decidedly, knowing full well that if he started there, he had no clue as to where he'd end up. The thought of the Chairman murdering him for fondling his daughter didn't sit very well in his mind, either.

"Look, I'll go get the Chairman and he can take you to the hospital, just to be safe," he told her, her fingers gripping his wrist before he could remove himself from the trouble that was brewing.

"Zero, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were afraid to touch me," she blurted, seeing the flames dancing in his lavender eyes.

Well, she had him dead to rights, didn't she? He swallowed hard, trying desperately to keep from tearing from the room in a panic.

"Tell me, exactly, how me rubbing your butt is going to make you feel better," he prompted, a smile touching her rosy lips.

"It just will," she offered back, giving him her best pouty face.

"God," he groaned, running a hand through his silver hair in frustration.

He watched in horror as she unzipped her skirt, wiggling out of it and tossing it to the floor. His very wide lavender eyes then proceeded to stare as she attempted to massage her own backside, which didn't appear to be working out in her favor.

"Zeroooo," she whined, his head hanging as he realized that she wasn't going to relent. He quickly locked her door before returning to her, assuring that the Chairman…or anyone else, for that matter…wouldn't walk in on what appeared to be him assaulting Yuuki.

Feeling suddenly warm, he removed his uniform jacket, tossing it unceremoniously onto the floor before turning back to his companion. She was lying there, clad in her white uniform shirt and those lacey pink panties that seemed to be mocking him.

With more restraint than the silver haired vampire knew he possessed, his hand stretched out, hesitating for a moment before landing upon her backside. Gritting his teeth, Zero began to do as she bade, rubbing her butt as she tried to hide her smile. Noticing the grin upon her lips, he pulled back, sighing mightily.

"Don't enjoy this so much," he griped, watching as she rolled over, her affliction seeming to have suddenly vanished. The look in her eyes caused his mouth to gape, for he realized what she was about to do. She hadn't done it since they were children, but he knew it was coming. Before he could make for the door, she'd lunged, pinning him to her mattress with her slight weight before proceeding to tickle him mercilessly.

Zero could swear he was imagining things. Surely he'd gone mad, or was in the midst of some mind-boggling nightmare. He had to fight it. If he gave in, if she heard even one laugh escape him, it would be his end, and she would have enough blackmail to use against him for the rest of their lives.

Before she could take full advantage of him, he rolled her over, pinning her arms to her sides with his knees, his breathing heavy as he looked down upon her.

"You tricked me," he accused, the smirk on her face only growing.

"Not really. My butt really did hurt," she argued, managing to wiggle out from under his knees. She sat up, causing his breath to catch as his eyes trailed over her, clad in her white uniform shirt which barely graced the tops of her thighs. He swallowed hard, wishing that her door weren't so damn far away.

"Are you feeling alright, Zero? You look a little sick," she pointed out, her hands taking hold of his shirt collar, pulling him down closer to her.

He was sure the door would burst open at any moment, revealing her adopted father brandishing some evil blunt object, which he would then use to bash him senseless. She was making it harder and harder to resist her and he had a feeling she damn well knew it.

"I think you're the one that's not feeling well. Did you hit your head?" he wondered, before his eyes nearly bugged from his head.

He found himself on his back, Yuuki's slight weight atop him, her lips pressing against his own. What. The. Hell?

This had been his most persistent fantasy since he was fifteen years old, and yet the moment was scaring him witless. If he were caught, he would surely be beheaded. However, at the time, Zero found himself unable to truly care about his fate, as he was far too busy drowning in their kiss.

His arms laced themselves around her, pulling her down closer against him, her small hands clinging to the front of his uniform vest as she continued making his head swim. Taking his own initiative, his tongue touched her bottom lip, coaxing her to allow him access to her mouth, which she did gratefully.

Zero was sure he was dreaming as his tongue touched hers, her taste and her touch absolute heaven to his senses. He heard himself groan as her tongue tangled with his, his hands moving down to give her backside a rough squeeze.

It was then that the knock came at her door, causing him to blanch and his eyes to shoot open. Yuuki pulled back, her breaths jagged as she looked at him, to the door then back again.

"Damn," she muttered, quickly moving from atop her still dazed partner, grabbing her skirt from the floor before pulling it on, struggling to zip it up.

Zero sat up, his hair disheveled and his breaths heavy as he stared at her. Thank a god he'd latched the door behind him.

Yuuki, in a similar state of disarray, smoothed down her shirt before calling out "Who's there?"

"It's me, Yuuki," came his voice. Dear god, the universe surely hated him, Zero thought to himself, his mind wandering in two separate directions.

First of all, he wanted to know what he was doing knocking at her door. Second, he wondered what the hell he was going to do so as not to be caught there.

Yuuki looked back at him, her face a bit flushed from their encounter, bits of hair sticking out here and there. He moved towards her, his hands smoothing down her hair, making her antics a bit less obvious. To his surprise, she leaned up, planting another kiss upon his lips before beginning to push him towards her closet.

'No,' he mouthed silently, though she was intent on cramming him in it, with force if necessary.

"Yuuki?" came the voice again, as she pulled the closet door open. Unfortunately, it was filled to capacity with clothes and assorted Yuuki junk, leaving no room for her exasperated partner.

"Coming, Kaname-senpai!" she called, then dragging Zero to her bed, gesturing for him to hide under it.

He stared at her for a moment before rolling his eyes, dropping silently to the floor and crawling underneath her bed. Satisfied that he was hidden, Yuuki tossed his jacket under the bed with him before strolling over to her door, unlocking it before flinging it open with a flourish.

"Good evening, Yuuki. I was just visiting the Chairman and I thought I'd take a detour and see how you were doing," Kuran Kaname said, his voice smooth like velvet.

"Uh…ah, well. How kind of you, Senpai. I was just going to lie down for a nap," she lied, her eyes growing wide as he stepped past her into her room, having a look around. Nothing seemed very out of the ordinary, save for the fact that her sheets were quite rumpled. Come to think of it, Yuuki herself appeared to be fairly rumpled as well.

"You're sure you didn't just take a nap?" Kaname asked, nodding towards her bed. Something didn't feel right, though he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"What? Oh, yeah. I'm sure. Is there anything you needed, Senpai?" she asked, her eyes darting to her bed every few seconds.

Being no fool, Kaname worked the situation out in his head, smirking to himself a bit. This, he mused, would be entertaining.

He took her hand in his, drawing her a few steps closer to her bed. She plastered on a smile, hoping that he didn't find out who she was hiding and especially what they'd been doing. She was sure that Kaname would find it entirely improper to have Zero in her room and that he would promptly bitch and moan to the Chairman about it.

"Yuuki," Kaname began, still holding her hand in his. She gulped, an act that didn't go unnoticed by him.

"We don't get to talk much these days. Tell me, how are things?" he asked, moving to sit on her bed and taking her with him.

Zero felt the mattress above him shift, already annoyed to no end by the mere presence of the Pureblood vampire. What the hell was he doing in her room, anyway?

"Well, um…things are great, Senpai. Er…except for my classes, maybe. I'm as bad as ever at math," she prattled, scooting away from him so that their knees no longer touched.

"You've been doing a wonderful job, keeping the Day Class at bay for us. For that, we are truly grateful," he said, his hand smoothing along her cheek. She flushed red, knowing that she'd harbored a crush on this man for the past ten years. However, it was Zero, her ever present partner in crime who she'd found herself having exceptional feelings for as of late, and knowing he was there, just under them, wasn't helping her situation.

"Oh, thank you. Zero and I try to keep things in order," she said, the mention of Zero's name bringing a frown to Kaname's face. She noticed the change in him, the tension in the room growing by the second. She had to get him out of there.

"Yes, Kiryu-kun…always eager to assist you. Where is he tonight? I haven't seen him lately," he noted, seeing the blood drain from her cheeks at his question.

"Zero? I…I'm not sure. I haven't seen him lately myself," she said, feigning total ignorance.

Kaname smiled, one of pure melancholy, his hand touching her cheek gently.

"Since when does my girl keep things from me?" he asked, leaning forward and placing a kiss on her cheek.

With that he stood, leaving her blinking as he made his way to the door, pausing before he took his leave.

"At least you're true to your heart, Yuuki, though it may pain mine to know it. Sleep well," he told her.

"And goodnight, Kiryu-kun," he called, causing Zero's breath to catch. Yuuki's eyes went wide, his voice soon reassuring her.

"Don't worry, Yuuki. I won't tell the Chairman," Kaname said with a wink before disappearing down the hallway and out of sight.

She closed the door, latching it behind her as she slumped against it, letting out the breath she'd been holding.

Yuuki watched as Zero crawled out from under her bed, brushing himself off, irritation evident in his lavender eyes.

"I'm sorry about that," she said softly, her eyes downcast as he approached her.

"He's never done that before."

"Sorry to have interrupted the moment," Zero said darkly, causing her to smile.

"Do I detect a hint of jealous, Kiryu Zero?" she asked, a glint in her eye as she sauntered towards him.

He swallowed hard, knowing how transparent he was being. She was pressed against him in an instant, his arms lifting her off the floor as her arms laced around his neck, her lips touching his softly.

"Now, where were we?" she asked, before his lips covered hers once more, effectively silencing her.

~*~*~*~

This oneshot brought to you by MORE BOREDOM! Hope someone out there liked this…

*Cosmic Moon Baby*