Disclaimer: I don't own the people in this story. Sorry. And I don't own the ideas this story has... That goes to Carrie Underwood.

A/N: Me and my good friend, Sahara wrote this wonderful story... It's really funny... BTW: one shot... sorry

Before He Cheats

I've been here for two and a half hours. Where was he? I looked at my watch again, 9:30. Sighing, I picked up my phone and texted him,

Where are you?

It didn't take him that long to respond

Sry, I'm still at home. I completely forgot about tonight, honestly.

I rolled my eyes; I knew he was lying to me, and texted back

Your Volvo misses you.

10 seconds later.

Take care of it will you? I'll be there in five minutes.

Oh, I would take care of it. I grabbed my bag and went to the parking garage.

There stood that silver, shiny Volvo. I smiled evily, and slid a Louisville Slugger out of my bag. Setting my bag down me placed the bat next to it.

Taking my keys out of my pockets, I dug them into the side of the car, and dragged it, and then I grabbed the bat and swung it furiously against his windshield. Glass shards flooded garage floor as I walked around and took out my anger on his car, then I went for the door. I pulled a pocket knife out of my back pocket and slashed his tires .Then a flash of light passed through the aisle.

I stole away behind the nearest car and I held my breath. It wasn't Edward it was an officer. He looked around and saw the mess the Volvo left and gaped, I snickered and immediately shut myself up. I sighed with relief when he left, I got up and yanked the car door open and carved my name in the seat.

The last thing to do was to smash the head lights. I imagined myself as a baseball player and hit them with enough force to kill someone. I finished with it and threw the bat in the trash. I grabbed my bag and hooked it on my shoulder. I sauntered out of the garage and roamed the streets for him.

I walked around until saw a shock of blond and bronze hair I glared at it and stood right in front of the kissing couple.

I watched them for a little while longer but then I had a plan. Her hands went into his back pockets, as did his. I pulled out my cell phone and called him. She pulled his phone… perfect! She looked at the screen and smacked him across the face, and stomped off in her hooker stilettos. He watched her stomp off, her too short mini-skirt swaying when she turned around threw his phone down on the ground, stepped on it, kicked it a sewage drain, and with one last finger to him she turned the corner.

He turned his head and looked at me. His face went pale.

"Oh shit... Bella I'm sorry" he said reaching out to hold me.

"No your not. You're not sorry. Not to me anyway. Your sorry you got caught." I seethed, jerking back.

"Bella-"

"I want to know how long. Tell me Edward, how long?"

"Only a few days! I swear!"

"Want to stop lying to me? I saw you with her! I knew something was up, like, 3 months ago! You want to rephrase that?"

"I...I... ok, I'm really sorry. She umm came up to the office a few months ago, and I-, my hands and lips have a mind of there own."

I glared hard at him, then ripped off the necklace, ring and, bracelet, and threw them at him.

"Its over, come and get your stuff tomorrow."

"Can I least get my Volvo?"

I smiled and threw the keys at him also. "Have fun."

"Okay?"

"I'm going to a party tonight. I'll be back about let's say, 5-ish (a.m), so be here by seven or you can dig your stuff out of the junkyard. Understood?"

"Yeah, Im really, really sorry Bells."

"Sure,"

I walked passed him with confidence I didn't know I had. I saw my best friend, Jacob standing in front of an ice cream bar, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and whispered:

"Hey babe."

"Babe? Where'd that come from? Forget that. I don't know what's making you weird but I like it." He turned and wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me closer.

"I just found my ex making out with another girl."

"When did Edward become your ex?"

"Just now, err a few minutes ago."

"Oh,"

"Yep that man whore will think next time he think before he cheats"

"You sound like Carrie Underwood."

"I know I got the idea from her."

"You're wicked, but that's ok. I love it."

"Good. I wanna get a tattoo! Come with me!"

"Tattoo? Are you Jordin Sparks now?"

"No but I've always wanted one! And maybe then I'll tell you my dirty little secret."

"That's very funny Bells, who are you now the All American Rejects? I thought your dream was to get a tattoo, not be a singer, so scoodle your boodle and let's blow this joint."

"Hook me up Mister!"

"OK dorko, let's go."

I rolled my eyes, turned to face him and smiled. Jacob looked at me and a smile stretched across his face, also. He bent his head towards mine and pressed his lips to mine. I pulled away and smiled at him.

"Thanks, but I need a little bit of time before I jump in again.."

"That's ok Bells, I'll wait for as long as you need me to, now lets get to that parlor."

"Alright lets go."

I took his hand and wove my fingers threw his. On the radio, I heard 'Before He Cheats', I smiled and thought how ironic it was, that this song was playin.

A/N: Sorry I can't end stories well, but I did my best… So tell me what you think by reviewing of course and I will try to post another chapter of 'Forbidden Fruit for ya'll! Love always Serena