I do not own Twilight or the characters.

Emmett becomes a…..French teacher

Emmett POV

I am so bored. It's not fair. How come humans get to sleep and vamps don't?

Everyone apart from Edward, Bella and I had left this morning to go hunting and Bella and Edward were currently doing something I didn't think they would want me to join in with.

I mentally ticked off the things in my head I had wanted to do today.

Wash my jeep. Check.

Embarrass Bella. Check.

Teach Reneesme a new swear word. Check.

Have some adult fun with Rosalie. Check.

Nothing left to do. I opened the daily local newspaper. I didn't normally read the newspaper. It was always the same crap over the last hundred years. Hell I am really bored.

I turned the page and a brightly coloured ad caught my eye amidst all the black and white and grey.

I burst out laughing when I realised it was a picture of our old High School Principal standing in front of a huge map of France with a huge goofy smile plastered across his face.

When I had calmed down, I read the advertisement properly. Forks High were looking for a new French teacher. I, of course was fluent in French. I hadn't been to Forks High since we had left a few years ago, just before Bella had became a vampire.

Hmmm, this could be fun.


I sat humming the Rugrats theme tune happily. I was sitting in a chair outside the Principal of Forks High School's office awaiting an interview for the position of French teacher. I wasn't nervous. With my level of French I would get the job no sweat.

"Emmett Cullen!" The Principal's secretary called out the door. She was an old woman with grey hair and wrinkles but I still nearly gave her a heart attack when I smiled and winked at her as I walked past her into the room.

Mr. Philips was sitting behind his desk looking tired and frustrated. When he looked up and saw me, his turned to utter surprise.

"Mr. Cullen! You're applying for a teaching position?" He sounded confused.

"Yes sir!" I saluted him. "Is that a problem?"

"No, no. I just wouldn't have thought of you as the teaching type."

Well duh, I thought to myself. I'm young, immature and incredibly good looking. Why should I be a teacher?

I wowed him with my French and sure enough, after fifteen minutes, he told me the job was mine. I was to start on Monday. I knew I couldn't think about this when Edward was around and he'd tell Carlisle who would stop me before I set so much as one foot in a classroom door.

Awesome. This is gonna rock.


I entered the classroom for my first class on Monday morning to lots of sighs and gasps from the many girls. I smiled inwardly. This was going to be fun.

"Okay class, my name is Mr. Cullen and I'm going to be teaching you this year." All the girls had happy smiles on their faces and all the guys were glaring.

"We are going to start off by learning to say what we like and what we dislike."

"Umm, sir?" A small freckly kid put his hand up and I turned to face him. "This is a higher level French class. We learned how to say that ages ago."

"Well then you shouldn't have any trouble keeping up." I replied, unfazed.

"We'll go around the room and everyone will say something that they like and something that they don't like. I'll go first." I said.

"J'aime baiser Rosalie," I said loudly and all the kids stared at me, shocked. All the dirty little shits knew what that meant. They must've been looking nasty words up in the dictionary.

I continued, "Je le déteste quand Edward lit mon esprit." They all knew what that meant too 'cause they were looking at me as if I was crazy.

I was fired before the next period.


For those of you who don't know what the French means, "J'aime baiser Rosalie," means I like fucking Rosalie, and "Je le déteste quand Edward lit mon esprit." Means I dislike it when Edward reads my mind. Read and Review. I still have lots more ideas for Emmett to work as. If you have any ideas I'd love to hear them. Hope you liked it.