Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the creation of Natsuki Takaya. Domino's Pizza is a trademark of Domino's Pizza LLC.
Bad Ideas Gone wrong Productions presents...
*knock* *knock* *knock*
Tohru slid the front door open to the singularly unlikely sight of Hatsuharu Sohma wearing a Domino's Pizza uniform.
"Delivery for Kyo Sohma."
"Hatsuharu-kun! You've got a job?"
"Mostly just to pass the time. Is Kyo here?"
"Yes, I'll get him. Kyo-kun!"
Kyo walked up to the front door, scowling. "Yeah, what is it? HARU?"
"Pizza's here. 1900 Yen."
"Oh, gee, THANKS Haru, I've been waiting for this. FOR THREE DAYS, you idiot."
"You've got it now, so stop complaining."
"Why shouldn't I complain?" Kyo snatched the pizza box from his cousin and whipped it open. "Look! Mushrooms!"
"Didn't you order mushrooms?"
"No, I mean the mushrooms GROWING on it. Why should I pay you, anyway? It was obviously WAY more than thirty minutes."
"For liability reasons, Domino's no longer offers any time-based delivery guarantees. Just pay me and shut up so I can leave."
"Hell no, I won't pay. I'm unsatisfied with this pizza."
Hatsuharu sighed. "Fine. How about my tip?"
"Tip? What for? Slowest delivery in history?"
"You have no idea how far this pizza traveled to get to you. You should be grateful it got here at all. Pay my tip."
"PAY ME, YOU FREAKIN' PUSSY!"
"GO TO HELL, PSYCHO!"
Predictably, the two got into an all-out fight. With Shigure moaning the destruction of his house all the while, Kyo and Haru demolished room after room.
Watching the mayhem, Tohru could come to only one conclusion. "Cow tipping really IS dangerous."
YOU HAVE JUST READ...
A Fruits Basket spamfic by Geoduck
Notes--Sorry about this. It was a case of "title first, story afterwards." I also have no idea why Kyo would order pizza.